Wait, What? Are Kaia Gerber & Cara Delevingne Dating?

by Shelt Garner

I’m simply a rando nobody in the rural portion of a purple flyover state. I don’t know anything about anything. Please actively ignore me. And maybe this speculation is a big “duh” to people who are more clued in than me, but it definitely seems as though Kaia Gerber and Cara Delevingne are dating.

The reason why I think this is there’s “normal world” and then there’s the tight little bubble of “showbiz world.” Or, in this particular situation, its subset “fashion world.” Both women are bombshells and Ms. Delevingne seems to bounce around a lot (no hating, she’s just doing what men do all the time — I’m looking at YOU Pete Davidson.)

But from Ms. Gerber’s side, it makes a huge amount of sense. She’s only 18 and she probably simply wants to sow her wild oats as quickly as possible — hence her brief relationship with — you guessed it — Pete Davidson. I guess because I’m ancient as all get out the fact that Cindy Crawford’s daughter may be dating female Lothario Cara Delevingne makes my eyebrows rise just a little bit. It takes a moment to process not because there’s anything wrong with it, just Ms. Crawford is such an icon that it takes my old brain a moment to fit into the new reality.

As an aside, I will note a picture exists of Cara Delevingne with BOTH Kaia Gerber AND Margaret Qualley. The latter two women both had brief relationships with Pete Davidson so it comes off as a little surreal. And in the picture Ms. Delevingne is making Ms. Qualley laugh for some reason.

Make of that what you will.

So, it seems as though it’s EXTREMELY LIKELY that Ms. Delevingne has beded both Ms. Gerber AND Ms. Qualley recently. It makes one’s head spin. But, remember, in the upper reaches of showbiz — especially fashion — same sex relationships are completely accepted (as they should be.) And let me stress — I’m simply making an informed observation. Maybe I’m pulling all of this out of my butt. I’m notorious for coming to the wrong conclusions, so this time is probably wrong, too.

The only reason why I even mention any of this is how showbiz news simply states things factually about Ms. Gerber and Ms. Delevingne as if it’s “Oh, you know, just two friends doing friends stuff. Nothing to see here.”

Maybe I’m wrong. I probably am. I wish both women well, regardless.

Zoey Deutch — A Star Is Born

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner

Zoey Deutch’s character in Zombieland 2 made a big impression on me. Something about it initially came off as annoying but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was a star turn. This feeling only began to sink in more when I realized she was Lea Thompson’s daughter!

Holy shit!

Then I thought back to the scene where she hooks up with Jesse Eisenberg’s character. Something about it seemed like a homage. Then I realized that she had to be giving a subtle hat-tip to her mom’s scene in Back To The Future where she creeps on Michael J. Fox and talks about where “Calvin’s” pants are — on her hope chest.

I’m growing impressed with New Hollywood. Both Deutch and Margret Qualley are bringing the heat. I just wish someone would cast Eva Victor in something. She’s got star quality as well and she’s being underused doing Twitter videos.

Anyway. For once Hollywood isn’t letting me down.

A Few Rising Stars Of Note

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner

I’m a nobody in the middle of nowhere working on a novel. But I’m also a nobody working on a novel with a lot of opinions. So, here are two rising stars who have caught my attention of late.

Margaret Qualley
Qualley, who I think should go by “Maggie,” is a real head turner in more ways than one. I was really impressed with her performance in Once Upon A Time…In Hollywood. I don’t shade her for dating Pete Davidson. Shrug. So what. She’s still young. She still has plenty of time to snag someone…a bit more stable…who will help her overall career.

But I have high hopes for her. Her performance in Once Upon A Time was a star turn. I just hope she is able to build on her current momentum. She’s still young and if she plays her cards right she could maybe follow in the footsteps of Jennifer Lawrence. Maybe. Lawrence is, at least in my opinion, a rare talent who has managed to play the Hollywood game quite well. Not everyone is as fortunate as her.

Dua Lipa
Now, Lipa is a huge star in music. But I’d like to see her at least attempt to make the transition into film. Her combination of pure talent and stage presence seems like it would be a great fit for the silver screen. I continue to be impressed with her poise at such a young age. She seems like she has a her head on straight.

Really, all the she needs is the right vehicle. Something that would highlight her beauty and personality. But Hollywood is a fickle mistress. Anything — bad or good — could happen. I do, however, look forward to seeing her name in Hollywood lights.

Eva Victor
Victor is currently something of a Twitter cult favorite. She does some charming videos on Twitter that are quite appealing. In my mind, she’s something of America’s answer to Fleabag. She’s not nearly as razor sharp as Phoebe Waller-Bridge, however. Her humor is rather sassy and gentle in comparison to Waller-Bridge.

I currently don’t know what is going on with Victor’s career. She seems somehow connected to Comedy Central. It seems like she would be the perfect fit for a Broad City-type show. Or maybe Broad City meets Fleabag. Ideally, she would end up on SNL, but who knows. It would be great if Tina Fey would mentor her.