Tag: The Wagner Group

….and just like that…

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Welp, it’s over. The Wagner Group is turning around and going home. Apparently, because of a deal brokered by the president of Belarus. It was all very exciting while it happened, but now we can go back to dreading Biden being impeached for something stupid in the near, near future.

I will note, however, that Putin has been shown to be very, very weak. This could be the precursor to something much bigger. Or not. Who knows.

Not me.

God Save Tsar Harry I?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Since the fall of the Soviet Union, Russia has just not really had a very strong sense of self. As far as I can tell, it hasn’t really even latched on to nationalism so much as a more personal, meh ideology of simple Putianism. That’s what I would credit with how lackluster the support for Putin has been since the Second Russian Civil War began a few hours ago.

So, if I was running the Wagner Group, I would really lean into giving people a reason to believe again. A bigger dream for them to become a part of. As such, I would say, “Help me overthrow Putin, and we’ll have a Tsar again.” Now, the issue is, who would be Tsar? There are a few “pretenders” to the throne who I don’t think anyone takes very seriously but, here me out, through Queen Victoria there is a person you could use — Prince Harry.

Now, this is very funny for a number of reasons, chief amongst them being the Wagner Group is a bunch of thugs and fascists and I don’t think they have it in them to do something as historically cool as put Prince Harry on the throne of new Russian Empire.

But that’s kind of besides the point — pick SOMEONE — to be the new Tsar and then say, “Ok, we’re going to bring back all the trappings of empire if we take power.” There are a few centuries of regalia and tradition established around Empire in Russia and I would tap into that. I would also definitely use that cool white-blue-white flag I’ve seen around some as the new flag of Russia.

I am not suggesting I’m an expert in Russia or Russia history, but just as a casual observer I have noticed that since the fall of the Soviet Union, Russia just hasn’t really had much of a national identity. And bringing back the Tsar would definitely fix that problem for Russia. If it was a *constitutional* monarchy, well, all the better.