Idle Rambling About Alexa Chung & My Novel’s Heroine

by Shelt Garner

The only reason why I even bring any of this up is I’m a bit intoxicated and I want to see if my FBI agent monitoring me for any mention of Alexa Chung swoops in to look at this. Anyway, it is amusing to me that the heroine of my first novel definitely looks — in my mind — like someone in a fuzzy continuum that ranges Olivia Munn to Alexa Chung.

What can I say, I have a thing for brunettes with vaguely Asian looks.

Anyway, the thing about Alexa Chung for me is her personality. While it’s her appearance that catches my attention, its her witty personality that causes me to linger. I’m well aware that she’s rather vacuous all things considered, but, yet she still in interesting enough to make her my celebrity crush.

And, yet, I have to admit that as I grow older, the very idea of having a “celebrity crush” seems rather…quaint. I just don’t care. Any potential interaction with someone like Ms. Chung I want to happen on my own terms after I blow up with my DJ money for having written a break out hit first novel.

So, in essence, I just don’t care anymore one way or the other about Ms. Chung. Live long and prosper. I am WELL AWARE that if any of her “people” became aware of my low-grade infatuation they would freak the fuck out. At the moment, at least, I’m the quintessential nobody.

And, if you really wanted to be honest, I’m the quintessential freaky weirdo nobody. I am who I am. I am — at least in my own mind — rather harmless, but, lulz, everyone is hateful and judgmental.

Author: Shelton Bumgarner

I am the Editor & Publisher of The Trumplandia Report

Leave a Reply