by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Piece of shit Donald Trump is set to give an address to the nation tomorrow at 9 p.m., which would usually mean Something Big was going to be announced. But this is Trump we’re talking about, so it’s probably going to be something stupid.
Really stupid.
But let’s go through some ideas as to what the announcement could be.
- The Pardon
Maybe Trump is going to not only pardon Ghislaine Maxwell but he’s come up with some reason for not releasing the Epstein Files? That seems like something Trump would do. - Aliens
I could see Trump, in an effort to distract everyone, announce something vague about having discovered evidence of ancient life on Mars. Or, if we were really lucky, maybe even some sort of “soft” First Contact elsewhere. But we’re not lucky. It’s highly unlikely the announcement has anything to do with aliens. Ha! - War
In this version of events, Trump announces we’re going to war with Venezuela or something. Something equally dumb and distracting in a ham-handed way. - Something Extremely Dumb
Given Trump’s track record, not only is it probably not very important, it’s probably really dumb. Something extremely dumb.
