Why Things Getting Bumpy Between Now & 2025 May Be Inevitable

by Shelt Garner

If you don’t notice that we’re on the cusp of some big historical events, you must not be paying attention. Here are a few things to look at between now and Certification Day 2025

This is very much a downlow kind of potential crisis. It will only really be a crisis if the community spread we’re seeing here and there really begins to take off. So, keep an eye on the next two weeks. (It takes too weeks between when you’re infected and when you show symptoms — at least that’s the case with smallpox, as I understand it.
GQP MAGA Fascism
The thing we have to appreciate is the MAGA New Right cancer has completely taken over the Republican Party. They have come to believe that, by definition, if they lose an election that it’s rigged. Of course, it’s going to get ironic when they finally gain power again and never let it go and the opposite side will have ever reason to believe that this is really the case. But anyway –the point is, even if we manage to punt the risk of GQP autocracy down the road a few election cycles, we aren’t going to be able to eliminate it totally — at some point we’re going to face the existential choice of autocracy or civil war.
A Potential Civil War
Until the GQP-themed autocracy is finally consolidated once and for all, there is going to be a risk of a civil war. Blue States may ultimately refuse to “bend a knee” and instead try to leave the Union. Then we have a civil war. But I still doubt seriously that it going to happen. But it is, at least, possible.

MAGA’s Asymmetrical Attack On American Democracy

by Shelt Garner

The thing that so many Twitter liberals miss is we face a long term, structural problem when it comes to MAGA. They don’t to win every election, they just have to win enough elections to destroy American democracy. Which, if we were really all that honest, we would admit doesn’t even exist anymore.

We’re an anocracy. Or, in other words, an autocracy without an autocrat.

So, we’re either going to have a civil war or turn into an autocracy. At the moment, I think we’re just going to peacefully turn into a full blow autocracy because the entire system is designed to keep people sedate and placated. It happened in 2000 and when Republicans brazenly steal the 2024 election, it will happen again.

And that will be that.

There will be the occasional huge protest over this or that thing, but in general, they will be as meaningless in the United States as they are currently in Russia. So, lulz.

If you have the means, get out the country. It would be comforting to think that maybe the center-Left might at least put up some sort of struggle…but it definitely looks as though that isn’t going to happen.

Oh well.

Slouching Towards Autocracy

by Shelt Garner

The rise of the celebrity candidate was mentioned in Ready: Player One when it’s mentioned off handedly that presidents were in the the future reality TV stars and so forth.

Oswald Mosley

Or, put another way, were witnessing huge swaths of the American government becoming useless if Republicans are in power. I’ve called this the “Mosleyification” of the Republican Party and I think that’s what’s going on. We’ve already seen this at the height of Trumplandia during the 2017 – 2019 timeframe.

So that’s the future we’re careening into. After Blue States “bend a knee” to Red States, we’ll gradually become no different than Russia. But let me be clear — Trump is too lazy and too much of an idiot for him to successfully turn us in to an autocracy.

But whomever his handpicked successor is, that person will be the person to successfully transition our current anocracy into an autocracy. Now, obviously, there is a risk of the other option happening, which would be a civil war. I don’t want that and I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Yet it is something to think about.

What We Can Learn From Watergate About The Shitshow That Is Trumplandia

by Shelt Garner

I’m reading the new history of Watergate and it’s really, really good. I hope to learn how Watergate is different from the modern post-accountability era of Trumplandia that we currently live in.

Nixon, in the end, at least had, like, shame and shit. But Trump and his ilk are post-shame and because the people who brought Nixon down — the people I call conservative “Traditionalists” are totally co-oped by the fascists MAGA…lulz. We’re fucked. We’re totally, completely fucked.

Instead of seeing the traditional arc of a Washington scandal that started with Watergate, with Trumplandia we see the system has failed us. No one is going to save us, no matter how often some Blue Check liberal writes a long, breathless Twitter thread meant to leave us with the idea that the system is going to work.

It’s not. The system isn’t working. There’s no hope. No one and no thing is going to save us. We have to accept that we’re either going to have a fucking civil war or we’re going to slip into autocracy without putting up any struggle at all.

Anyone with any “hope” of the system working — as it allegedly did with Nixon — is a fucking fool and I struggle to understand how you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning. You should hang your head in shame.

The system didn’t REALLY work with Nixon because he quit before it could. Had he let the system work and allowed himself to be impeached and convicted, I think, in the end, we would have been a lot better off. The crazy thing is the absolute worst elements of the Nixon Whitehouse are now tame compared to how fucking bonkers the modern GQP is now.

There are a dozen people — men and women — who want to be Trump’s autocratic successor. And we’re not going to do a damn thing to stop them. I don’t want a civil war — hell, I hate conflict of any sort — but it’s rather embarrassing that we won’t even put up a struggle at all when our democracy (which is now an anocracy) is finally snuffed out.

Anyway. I haven’t gotten very far in the Watergate history. But I am moving quite quickly. It’s really well written.

Mike Pence Is Such A Coward

by Shelt Garner

The brass ring is right there for Mike Pence and he’s such a fucking coward that he won’t grab it. All he has to do is become a #NeverTrumper and he instantly becomes a darling of the center-Left to the point that there will be talk of him heading some sort of “Unity Ticket” in 2024.

Or not. Don’t listen to me. I’m just some doofus in the rural part of a flyover state.

But the case could be made that if Pence did some domestic realpolitik assessments in his mind that it would be clear that the only way he will ever and I mean EVER become politically relevant again is to become a #Never Trumper. And as Liz Cheney has shown, you don’t even have to change your otherwise antediluvian conservative views.

He would get a pass from the center-Left for all his other brutish conservative views simply because he turned his back on Trump and MAGA. He already has the means, motive and opportunity to do it and…yet he won’t do it. He is beginning to kind of do things on the edges, but in general he’s still towing the MAGA line.

I will note, however, that if there is some sort of Second American Civil War that Pence definitely might change his mind on being MAGA. In fact, I would go so far as to say him jumping ship to Blue State leadership would be a sign that we’re about to have a second American civil war.

Yet, of course, I still am reluctant to believe we’re going to have a civil war in the first place, even though it’s a definite possibility. Blue States just don’t have it in them to leave the Union, especially given their lack in leadership — unless, of course, someone like Mike Pence becomes over to their side.

We’re Deluding Ourselves

by Shelt Garner

There will be no “National Divorce.” What there might be is a civil war. And we’re definitely doing to slip into the autocracy of white minority rule if we don’t have a civil war.

The United States is far more unstable than we realize. And, really, the only thing keeping us from having a civil war at the moment (starting around 2025) is a complete lack of leadership on the part of the center-Left. The center-Right, meanwhile, has more would-be autocratic leaders than you can shake a stick at.

There must be, at a minimum, a dozen men and women who could be our first real autocrat — all the have to do is get past ding-dong Trump.

But the center-Left is mush.

The argument could be made, I suppose, that between now and 2025 some sort of center-Left leadership will rise to the occasion. That, or the “radical moderates” of the #NeverTrump movement will take over and populate the leadership of the Blue States.

But that’s a whole bunch of wishful thinking — or drinking.

I vacillate wildly between thinking we’re doomed to a dystopian MAGA hellscape, to thinking we’re doomed to bomb ourselves into oblivion as part of a civil war. I just don’t see there being any middle ground when the time comes.

We’re going to face an existential choice, one way or another.

Enjoy this era of a vibe shift while you can, is all I gotta say.

‘A National Divorce’

by Shelt Garner

Occasionally, some idiot from the Far Right will tweet about the need for a “national divorce,” one where Red States and Blue States go their separate ways. And I will note that over the last few years, the idea of some sort of National Divorce has drifted down into the thinking of my Traditionalist conservative relatives.

Needless to say, this has to go to be the single dumbest idea.

It’s extremely poorly thought out – or not thought out at all — for a number of reasons. Chief among them being, to propose a “National Divorce” is little more than a political grunt. For all the talk about how good old boys are innovative and will pick up the economic slack if California and New York leave the Union, the cold hard reality is Trumplandia (Red States) would be extremely poor without Blue States to subsidies all that welfare money.

The ultimate irony will be, of course, that one of the war aims of Blue States might be, should the be a civil war, could be to simply leave the Union and form something akin to the United States of Canada. Ironically enough, I suspect that MAGA New Right Republicans will freak the fuck out to keep Blue States in the Union and, as such, the most powerful nation in the world will blow itself into oblivion with its eyes wide open.

The point is — if you advocate a “national divorce,” you’re a fucking idiot.

Say what you really mean — you want the right to push Blue States around, to force them to bend a knee. And if they won’t do it and they try to leave the Union, then you’re prepared to use WMD on them to make your point.

Anyway, fuck MAGA.

Things Are Dark Politically In The United States At The Moment

by Shelt Garner

There’s a very dark vibe in the US at the moment. I continue to believe we have the existential choice of autocracy or civil war in the near future (probably around 2024 – 2025.) But it could be a lot sooner than I think if the 2022 mid-terms prove to be as corrupt as I fear.

But, the point is, enjoy these last few months of normal life in a Western democracy while they last. Things are going to get really bumpy very soon. We’re either going to slide peacefully into a MAGA themed autocracy, or there is going to be real and severe political violence in the US — up to and including something we’re all going to refer to as a “civil war.”

I don’t have any ready answers for you. I suppose I might suggest you fill a “bug out bag” or some such. However, the key thing to me, the thing that will make or break one’s life during the Big Ugly that is going to happen soon is knowing what you believe in the real world.

What are you willing to suffer for in the real world? What are you willing to risk your life and sacred honor for in the real world? And, what’s more, if past civil wars are any indication, the side that seems to be winning at the beginning of the conflict may not be the side that ultimately wins.

AND, what’s more, remember, if the US bombs itself into oblivion, then there’s going to be WW3. The US is the cornerstone of 75 years of world peace — Pax Americana — and if we’re preoccupied by blowing ourselves up then, lulz, back off because we’re going to have a “Great Reset” as America is going through its “Fourth Turning.”

Again — I have no easy answers for you. There are none to have. Just understand that everything, in the real world, is probably going to be thrown up into the air pretty soon.

Uncle Shelton’s Tales: ‘Don The Evil Dingus’

by Shelt Garner

I once upon a time wrote children’s stories in South Korea for young Koreans learning English. I did a pretty good job. The news that some dingus from the bowels of the Trump Administration has written a children’s book defending idiot Trump has prompted me to write my own story.

Uncle Shelton was reading a history book when his black cat Midnight jumped into his lap.

“Whatcha reading, Uncle Shelton?”

“A history book of the recent past.”

“What’s it about?” Midnight asked.

“Well, it’s about…”

Once upon a time, there was merchant named Don. He was very dumb and always said the wrong thing. He was evil as they come and loved
to read a poem about a snake. Don was part stake, according to the legends of yore. One day, there was an election for King of The Land.
Because the merchant was very evil and corrupt, he worked with the king of another land to steal the election.

But many people, including the writer known as Patel would not believe the dumb Merchant stole the election, but rather believed
the merchants lies long, long after it was moot and made them look like a fool. Patel, who should have known better, even wrote a book for
children accusing Hillary Queenton and Keeper Komey of things that were not true.

No one knows what will happen because of Patel and his lies, but there is now a darkness across the land. And the history of the future
may be of a great nation torn apart because people like Patel — who should have known better — kept repeating lies against people who
just wanted to keep their kingdom great.

Here’s a better example of my ability to write a children’s story:

When I was in South Korea teaching English, there was this cute little kid who completely mixed up the New Testament with the movie “Constantine.” It was so cute and surreal that I used it once when I was writing EduTimes fairy tales for this or that surreal little story. So, with that in mind, here’s my effort to explain to a child how fucked up Jeff Sessions’ efforts on the border are. And, as an added bonus, we get to use gennies as a symbolic warning — they’re a poor man’s alarm system as I understand it.

Uncle Shelton’s Tales’ Presents:
Naborat Jeebus & The Gennies

Uncle Shelton took Midnight a farm one day and the moment they got there, there was a horrible noise! Birds were running around everywhere, squawking and causing trouble.

“What are those, Uncle Shelton?” Midnight asked.

“Those are gennies!” Uncle Shelton said. “They make a lot of noise, they warn you when you’re in trouble. One time they saved the land from a horrible orange troll!”

One upon a time, an evil orange troll named Little Hands overthrew the lion as the king of the land. He had become friends with the birds who tweeted his commands down on the animal kingdom. Little Hands had promised so many things to the animal kingdom using the birds’ tweets and for a while there was peace in the land as he grew in power. One day, the Little Hands awoke to a horrible noise! The kingdom was being invaded by gennies! They are a very loud birds and they made it so Little Hands couldn’t sleep. He was very lazy and liked to sleep all day long!

Little Hands decided to use magic to get rid of the gennies. He summoned an evil elf. He told the elf to do whatever it took to get rid of the brown, noisy gennies.

“Yes sir Little Hands!” the evil little elf said. “Right away sir!”

Using his magic powers, he summoned the most powerful magical creature he knew of, Naborat Jeebus! Naborat Jeebus was very old and long ago had left the land to live with his father. The evil little elf told Naborat Jeebus many lies about the gennies, so many lies that Naborat Jeebas cast the gennies into a big pin! He even tore genny familes apart!

The noise of all those gennies being moved into a big pen was ever so loud. Loud enough that Naborat Jeebus took note. He paused for a moment and asked a genny why they were making so much noise.

“We’re just gennies!” one said. “It’s our job in the animal kingdom to make noise, to product people from danger! We meant no harm!”

Naborat Jeebus looked at the evil little elf and got angry.

“How dare you summon me to hurt the innocent!” Naborat Jeebus yelled.

And with that, Naborat Jeebus freed the gennies and turned both the evil little elf and Little Hands into toads and went back to be with his father.

The End.

“See,” Uncle Shelton said. “Sometimes, the good guys win!”

“I know,” Midnight said. “But not always, right?”

“No, Midnight, not always. But if you make enough noise like the gennies, you’re more likely to do so.”

If You Ain’t Got Haters, You Ain’t Poppin

by Shelt Garner

I’m a nobody. I live in the middle of nowhere and the only thing of note about me is I often have very strong opinions. Other than that, I’m about as inconsequential as they come.

I am, waiting, however, for someone to swoop in and hate on me for my opinions, especially because I noticed this:

Page Views:2 (1 this visit)Latest Page View:14 May 2022 21:58:20Resolution:1760x990System:Firefox 100.0Win10Total Visits:2Location:Los Angeles, California, United StatesISP / IP Address:M247 Ltd (  Referring URL: www.trumplandiareport.com/Visit Page: www.trumplandiareport.com/2022/05/13/the-unity-ticket-of-2024/#respond

Seems like someone wanted to comment on a post of mine, but when they realized how much information was required of them, they gave up. So, who knows. I have a pretty strong hunch that whatever they wanted to say, it wasn’t going to be very nice.