Category: From The Editor

‘It Girl’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Song

The problem with this is while the concept is great — updating Madonna’s “Material Girl” to “It Girl,” how do you stretch it out? This one is ok. It’s a first draft. Don’t have a beat, but I like the concept.

It Girl
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

London or New York
it’s a choice I can’t make
so I pick both
the East Village is great
when you want to take a hike

it girl
she rules the world
men want her attention
but they’ll fail
she’s too used to getting her way

it girl
she’s got it all
it girl
woke up to the world
it girl, it girl, it girl

we’re spinning round the sun
but it rains it still shines on she
’cause wherever she is that’s the place
the place to be
it girl

don’t ask me how I know
she’s ready to rule
see her face on a magazine
at the corner store
you can adore but never score

it girl
she rules the world
men want her attention
but they’ll fail
she’s too used to getting her way

it girl
she’s got it all
it girl
woke up to the world
it girl, it girl, it girl

[bridge]
she can pick from the best
’cause she’s blessed
you look at her
guess the rest

she’s got an app
and a slap on the back
when it’s all over
she’ll look back and smile
what a ride

it girl
it girl
it girl

‘How’s It Going To End’ — #Lyrics To A Pop-R&B Song

I love the idea of a song starting relationships for no other reason than it prompts a guy to take a chance of a woman he notices. That’s the kind of power only an artist has and I want it. Anyway, his would be to a Jhene Aiko type fusion beat. Maybe a little bit faster than her usual stuff, but I just write the lyrics. It’s up to someone else to determine the music to go along with it.

How’s It Going To End
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

eye you across the way
lower my sunglasses and cock an eye
wonder what you surmise
do you think of delight
between my thighs at night
are you serious or just joshing
with that grin
how’s it going to end

we’re just two ships
sailing towards our fate

how’s it going to end
are we about to sin
begin again
or just walk away with a grin
how’s it going to end
how’s it going to end

I’m no dope
I know you’ve got hope
of my slight touch
feeling the warmth of my breath
on your face in the dark
is this just a lark
or are you going to work for me

other girls might admire you
but I’d own you given the chance
I doubt you have it in you
to put in the effort for my attention
I guess we’ll see
how it’s going to end

we’re just two ships
sailing towards our fate

how’s it going to end
are we about to sin
begin again
or just walk away with a grin
how’s it going to end
how’s it going to end

[bridge]
when we finally meet
and you sweep me off my feet
will you remember the moment we locked eyes
realized our fate was in the stars

how’s it going end

I’m waiting for you to come over
waiting for you to make your move
what happens next is up to you

how’s it going to end
how’s it going to end
how’s it going to end

‘White’

By Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

One of the Red White Blue movies — I think it’s White — is about the single worst day in a man’s life.

While I’ve had much worst days than this so far, it is shaping up to be a pretty uneventful, crappy one.

What I wouldn’t do for a little bit of demonstrable good news. Something I could point to and say, “See, life isn’t so bad after all.”

But I got nothing.

Sometimes, things just don’t work out in the end.

What An Uneventful D-Day Anniversary

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Today’s a pretty profoundly uneventful day. Absolutely nothing is going on. I need to look for a job. Work on my novel. I wish something fun-interesting would happen. Something to put a spring in my step. But as it stands, I got nothing. I need to focus on my immediate needs.

No pings from the universe telling to be prepared for something. Nothing. Zero. This day seems like it’s going to be just another dull day.

‘Quiet Desperation’ — #Lyrics To A Dance Pop Song

Since Selena Gomez seems interested in literature, this seems like something she would be interested in, but, really, any major female vocalists might at least find these lyrics interesting.

Quiet Desperation
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

walking down the street
looking at my phone
I feel alone
then you catch my eye
feel a sudden thrill and softly moan

most of us are quiet in our deperation
we just need someone to love

when I see you all I wanna do
is shout
is shout
is shout

there’s no doubt you’re fine
with eyes of sapphire
just when I didn’t think I could
get any lower
you pop into view
suddenly I’m as high as can be
no longer quiet is my heart
thinking of our delight

you cross the street
trying to escape me
how do we connect
will the fates intervene
to put you next to me
I guess we’ll just see

most of us are quiet in our deperation
we just need someone to love

when I see you all I wanna do
is shout
is shout
is shout

[bridge]
when we’re together at last
we’ll look back and laugh
how we bumped into each other
randomly

it starts to rain
the sky is sad
but I’m as glad as can be
’cause you flee the wet streets
to a coffee shop
I let out scream
what happens next
we’ll see

V-Log: Weighing Ilana Glazer & Phoebe Waller-Bridge As The Next Bond Girl

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Just some idle rambling.

V-Log: Some Thoughts On Brooklyn

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Idle rambling about Brooklyn compared to Haebangchon in Seoul.

‘Married To Myself’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Song About Julia Allison

Julia Allison famously married herself at Burning Man one year. No one reads this blog and no definitely no one will ever produce any of my lyrics, but it’s relaxing to tell a story in verse.

Married To Myself
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

fires of Burning Man
shine off my eyes
’cause I’m married to myself
can’t find a man for my life
so I ditched them all
to be very alone
I’m married to myself

the cold streets of New York City
burn my soles as I walk with my bride
the world revolves around me
the sun won’t set unless I’m undressed
I get no rest making clocks run
’cause I’m married to myself

married to myself
don’t you fret
get all the sex I need
married to myself
married to myself

what more can a girl expect
being married to herself
we’re all alone in this world
except for me baby
’cause I’m married to myself

just let me wear white
’cause I’m out of sight
you can joke all you like
I’m a wonderful wife
’cause I’m married to myself

married to myself
don’t you fret
get all the sex I need
married to myself
married to myself

[bridge]
how it’d be great
to find a date
but I spend all my time
alone in my mind
married to myself

boys may catch my eyes
make me quiver with delight
but late at night when I’m with my bride
I just sigh
married to myself
married to myself
married to myself

Watch Me Be A Hater

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I am not, by nature a hater. I am of an age that I have a very live-and-let-live worldview. But, occasionally, I can’t help myself. It doesn’t happen very often, but sometimes it just pops out and even I don’t understand why. When I was much younger and before my involvement in ROKon Magazine gave me a brain transplant, I kind of hated on Jennifer 8. Lee, only to eventually meet her in Seoul.

Go figure.

But let me take a moment to hate on Eve Peyser. I only hate on Peyser because she’s a young, smart, attractive woman working at a reasonably good media outlet writing about politics…and….nothing. She’s not doing anything of note that I can think of besides using Instagram Stories a lot and randomly doing scratch-offs for 69 days in a row. Is that envy? Do I hate on her because she’s got a plumb job that I think I could do better or what?

She has such an acerbic wit that I’m sure she could put me in my place if she saw me hating on her. In the interests of full disclosure, I have written song lyrics about her in the past for no other reason than I was bored and she’s interesting. But that’s it.

I say we all go back to hating on Julia Allison.

Talk To Me Internet: I Thought America Was Different

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Stick a fork in us, folks. We’re done.