Category: Media

Talk To Me Internet: We Don’t Need No (Cold) Civil War

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

It’s telling how we’ve reached this period of a long, drawn out scandal with no end in sight. Someone one Twitter called it a “Cold Civil War” and I totally agree. That’s exactly what it is. This is going to go on for a long, long, long time — like four, or six or even eight years. If The Resistance is split in 2020 and the economy is doing ok, then Trump could very well win re-election.

In other words, we really need to stop being outraged over every little thing Trump does that is, well, outrageous. We need to hunker down for a really long war of politics that we may, or may not win. At the end of all of this, Trump may end a complete eight year administration and position Pence to be his replacement.

In that case, it could be that the only thing that ends this hell we’re is people simply grow so weary of all the exciting news — and Republicans in general — that they eventually vote for The Resistance for no other reason than the same one that got us into this problem in the first place: it will just be the Democrats’ time to be in office again.

Of course, given how callow the Vichy Republicans are, the Russians could hack our election again or they could wag the dog and we’re just going to be fucked. This could be a new epoch in our history. We could be in a long-term dystpian nightmare with no way out at least as long as I’m alive.

Trumplandia: Life During A ‘Cold Civil War’

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Someone on Twitter mentioned that the United States is in the middle of a “Cold Civil War,” and I am apt to agree. I say this because I have been mulling how similar what is going on right now resembles a civil war in all but name and blood.

We have heroes, we have factions, we have shifting alliances. It’s weird how at this point there is little to distinguish the center-Right NeverTrump movement from the center-Left Resistance movement. Those two concepts now have common cause against Trump and the broader Trumplandia concept.

This works well with my personal belief that we really need to adjust to the new normal of Trumplandia. This is going to be a long, hard political fight and it may last about the same amount of time of a World War — four to six years. Let that sink in.

It is pretty obvious that the Vichy Republicans see Trump as a political gravy train and they’re not going to stop supporting him until long, long, long, long after we reach a devastatingly surreal moment in our nation’s political history. We’ve already reached that, but we’ve barely gotten to the end of the beginning of this political crisis.

It makes a lot of sense to see this as a Cold Civil War, at least in political terms. A war is easy to start and difficult to finish. And so, really, not until the base of the Democrat Party is as hysterical as the base of the Republican Party was in 2016 will anything change. We haven’t gotten there yet, I’m afraid. It’s going to take time. Probably four to six years. Let that sink in.

Remember, the only reason why Nixon was forced out of office was that there literally were tapes of him obstructing justice. Even if the pee-pee tape was real and we all saw it on FOX News, Trump would not be removed from office. And that doesn’t even begin to address the likelihood that The Resistance will be politically divided in 2020 and Trump will be re-elected.

There is just too much that could go wrong at this point when it comes to efforts to get rid of Trump through impeachment. In short, he’s not going anywhere for years. This really is a Cold Civil War and there are no assurances that the Good Guys will win.

All we can do is continue to fight the good fight.

Don’t Rage, Engage: The Time For Constant Outrage Is Over

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

So Jeff Sessions may testify in closed session this week after originally agreeing to do so in public. It has really hit home the last few days that none of the outrage that I feel or anyone else feels at this point is going to make any difference.

We really, really need to channel our urge to be outraged at the latest insane thing on the part of the Trump Administration in a more productive fashion. We need to realize that as long as the Vichy Republicans are in control, Trump’s not getting impeached.

So that means a solid two years, at least, before we can get down to the business of holding Trumplandia accountable. That’s a really, really long time given that the news cycle these days seems to be about 10 seconds. Hence, we really need to engage, not rage. We need to do our individual part to cross the political divide on a regular, daily basis.

We just can’t exhaust ourselves with outrage. It’s not productive and in the long run only helps the forces of Trumplandia. We really need to engage politically. Call your Congressperson. Talk to someone you think might be trolling you instead of blocking them right away. Read some. Pick up a book on leadership.

Something, anything, other than just getting mad and lashing this way and that over things we really have no control over at this point. In the fall of 2018, then we can be outraged. When the time comes to vote, vote. But stop just getting mad and then sulking.

’45’ — Lyrics To A Pop-Rock Anti-Trump Protest Song

This is a homage to Radiohead’s “Airbag.” It isn’t nearly as good and it’s kind of a back of the envelope first draft sketch at this point, but it’s fun to vent in verse. So you get this. If I could get a composer and co-writer then maybe something cool could happen with this.

45
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

it seems we’re lose to another war
that’s what I’m afraid of at least
when it’s all over we’ll feel the roar
when the leader of the world
pushes the red button
’cause he wants a Coke

[chorus]
we’re lurching towards doom
glancing at the TV with a sigh
we all realize we may die because of
45
45
45

we all can’t sleep I’m afraid
because in the day and age the danger
of 45 is all about
why am I the only one to see
how at deep range the possible rage

[chorus]
we’re lurching towards doom
glancing at the TV with a sigh
we all realize we may die because of
45
45
45

[bridge]
not much more to say I’m afraid
we’re all on our own
so don’t moan, don’t moan
hope is all we can have

[chorus]
we’re lurching towards doom
glancing at the TV with a sigh
we all realize we may die because of
45
45
45

‘But Her E-mails’ — Lyrics To An Old School Hip-Hop Anti-Trump Protest Song

I really like old school hip-hop and I know I’m probably doing this backwards ’cause the music probably usually comes first in such songs. But, I like how you can tell stories with old school hip-hop songs, so you get this. This song is meant to be kind of a quick run down of the disaster that Trumplandia has been in as soft and dance friendly a way as possible.

But Her E-mails
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

stay woke

now the time has come and we’re ready to dance
but before you shoot a glace at that hottie
let me break it down for you
we’re in a lot of trouble bro
we’ve got a loon for a president
who makes things tough for me and you
this didn’t have to happen
there was another choice that we had
but what did we do we voted for the fool
I want to shout this to the sky
but when I do all I get is sighs
the people who voted for 45
tell me again and again

but her e-mails
that’s what people say
but her e-mails
that’s what people say

45 has alienated our allies in ways big and small
makes you wonder who you’re going to call
who are we going to call when it all falls
45 doesn’t seem ready to lead
he’s a joke for people who are woke
some people complain about our lot
tell me they don’t like it one bit
but what can I say
all I can do is note in vain
there was another way
we could have avoided this pain
yet we all know that wasn’t our fate
thanks Anthony Weiner

but her e-mails
that’s what people say
but her e-mails
that’s what people say

now the president wants to cut the safety net
maybe drive your grandma to an early death
but don’t you fret you still can rock the free world
you’ve still got the right to vote
don’t be afraid to voice your opinion
though some people will get upset
just be sure to laugh and laugh
when someone wants to exclaim

but her e-mails
but her e-mails
but her e-mails

‘Jared Is A Punk’ — Lyrics To An Anti-Trump Neo-Punk Song

This is a silly homage to Judy Is A Punk. It’s just me venting. I wrote it really quick and it made me feel better. I wish someone would help me to make it better then perform it.

Jared Is A Punk
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

Jared is a punk
Ivanka is a runt
doesn’t say much
don’t hear him say
ye or nay
what gives with that
anyway

don’t know a bribe
they don’t like
no fuzz on that
no fuzz on that
no fuzz on that
no fuzz on that

they want us
to believe
they know
the right way
but there
are Russians
there are
Russians everywhere
what gives
with that I say

don’t know a bribe
they don’t like
no fuzz on that
no fuzz on that
no fuzz on that
no fuzz on that

Jared seems
so silent
though he has
great sway
his father-in-law
is a dick
what more
can I say
to my dismay

‘Don’t Rage’ — Lyrics To A Sad, Slow Anti-Trump Protest Ballad

I have come to believe that the only way to get out of Trumplandia is to engage people who disagree with us. These lyrics are about that. In my vision of this song, it would be a slow ballad like “Say Something.” You could probably garble it a little bit so it’s not quite as “woke” as I would like it to be.

Don’t Rage
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

[chorus]
don’t rage, engage
cross the divide and the pain
try to believe it when I say I have empathy
we can disagree without rage
we can try to engage each other I believe
don’t rage, engage

we’re falling apart I fear
there’s little we can say that
hasn’t been said before
we’re the same people
that’s obvious to see
why can’t you understand
are core beliefs are the same
don’t rage, engage

[chorus]
don’t rage, engage
cross the divide and the pain
try to believe it when I say I have empathy
we can disagree without rage
we can try to engage each other I believe
don’t rage, engage

the earth is all ours to share
if we don’t work together we’re all going down
we have to stop fighting each other so much
begin to engage for what it’s worth

[chorus]
don’t rage, engage
cross the divide and the pain
try to believe it when I say I have empathy
we can disagree without rage
we can try to engage each other I believe
don’t rage, engage

don’t rage, engage
don’t rage, engage
don’t rage, engage

‘No Fuzz On That’ — Lyrics To A Jaunty Pop Anti-Trump Protest Song

One thing that is fun about writing lyrics is finding a good title then trying to figure out genre would be best for the lyrics. Remember, just because I want a type of music with lyrics, doesn’t mean someone couldn’t put it to entirely different music. Shrug. I am just venting at Trumplandia at this point. I just enjoy telling a story in verse and so here you go.

No Fuzz On That
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

sometimes people ask for the truth
life gives you loot to spread
to spread across the earth
you have to tell people
the facts are obvious to all
and say with this a grin

there’s no fuzz on that
there’s not fuzz on that
the truth’s the truth
there’s no doubt at all

people keep spreading lies
think they can make us doubt the truth
but the eyes are wide open
can see what that the facts are clear
there’s no fuzz on that
there’s no fuzz on that
there’s no fuzz on that

when you get a moment to reflect
know that you’ll soon be on deck
you have no choice but smile
when you realize people will listen to you
’cause you’re in the right on this one

there’s no fuzz on that
there’s not fuzz on that
the truth’s the truth
there’s no doubt at all

[bridge]
people want you to believe
so many lies
they want you to believe fake news
but if you do you lose

I have no doubt that people will believe
what I have to say
even if it causes the powerful dismay
there’s no fuzz on that
there’s no fuzz on that
there’s no fuzz on that

‘Life During Trumplandia’ — Lyrics To A Dance Pop-Rock Protest Song

This is a direct homage to The Talking Heads’ “Life During Wartime.” I am not saying I’m nearly as good a writer as they are, but I am angry at Trumplandia and this is just me venting in verse. No one cares about any of these lyrics I’m writing, so this is just me screaming out into the void, if nothing else.

Life During Trumplandia
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

the leader could strangle someone on 5th Avenue
the people would scoff and move right along
no one seems to be paying attention to this threat
the Russians are here it appears
we angle for peace in our time
but all we get is lies to our surprise

[chorus]
Lordy, I hope there are tapes
is all we can say in unison
there’s no fuzz on this issue
let’s impeach, impeach, impeach

the Vichy Republicans have control of the radio
they seem to be on every block
watch what you say I sigh with dismay
there’s just going to be doom for days and days
The Resistance will be victorious I believe
but only through persistence will that happen
you can bet things will go up and down
we have a clown as a president
a loon you might say
we are going to rock the free world
life during Trumplandia

[chorus]
Lordy, I hope there are tapes
is all we can say in unison
there’s no fuzz on this issue
let’s impeach, impeach, impeach

[bridge]
but I still have hope
hope that things will go our way
I see in the horizon a blue wave
one that will come soon if we pray
we have to keep the faith

Trumplandia is our home for now
but that will change, change, change
give us a little bit of time to fix things
there’s just tomorrow for us to hope for
hope that tomorrow will be a better place
hope that it will be the end of Trumplandia

‘A Night At Trump Tower’ — Lyrics To A Public Enemy Type Rap Song

I really like Public Enemy because, as Chuck D said at the time, rap was the CNN of the black community. This was long before the rise of “black Twitter,” so he had a very important point. I guess it just seems like Public Enemy’s type of political lyrics might work in today’s Trumplandia. The point of these lyrics is to explain to the average person listening to the radio why the big word “emoluments” is a big deal right now.

A Night At Trump Tower
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

now ask yourself
what’s all this talk about
this talk about the emoluments clause
what the hell does that mean you sing
we’ll it’s an old fancy word for bribe
and that’s what going down
every time some foreign fucker
pays for a night at Trump Tower
a night at Trump Tower
a night at Trump Tower

that means each night at Trump Tower
by a some foreign potentate is a breach of trust
Trump is breaking the law
that sound you hear is the Founding Fathers spinning
they’re spinning in their grave
that the president is selling our birth right
for a night at Trump Tower
a night at Trump Tower
a night at Trump Tower

so while the people curse the bread
our Tsar of a president is selling us out
by making a profit off his office of state
we need a blue wave to strike DC
we need to end this travesty
the violation of the bribes
that happen every night, every night
at Trump Tower
at Trump Tower
at Trump Tower