‘Shithole’ — #Lyrics To A Pop-Rock Protest Song

The inspiration for the music that would go with this one in my imagination is the Cranberries “Zombie.” It doesn’t matter because it will never be produced, but whatever. It’s relaxing to write lyrics, at least for me.

Shithole
Lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

the Southern strategy
is a dog whistle for the stupid
the base demands you say things
that we all know you mean
you should just shut up
you’re turning America into a

shithole, shithole, shithole
shithole, shithole, shithole

it doesn’t seem like there’s anything we can do
but believe me there is
we can fight for truth we can fight for justice
don’t Lady Liberty hang her head in shame
don’t let her live in a

shithole, shithole, shithole
shithole, shithole, shithole

[bridge]
we have to be honest with ourselves
the base loves The Donald
now what are we going to do
what are we going to do

the only way to get out of this shithole
that is in our mind is to impeach and convict
the dick in the White House
the dick in the White House
the dick in the White House

TrumpRussia, Iran-Contra And How We’re All Doomed

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

It’s growing ever more obvious that we’re doomed. The rabid efforts on the part of the Republicans to discredit the investigation of Robert Mueller into TrumpRussia are largely successful and there’s nothing we can do about it. Even if the “Blue Wave” happens in 2018, things will be so muddled that in real terms it won’t matter. Trump will evade impeachment and or impeachment and conviction and we’re stuck with him until at least 2021, if not longer.

I say longer because there’s a real chance that for various quirky reasons Trump will win re-election and will serve out a full eight years. The question, of course, is what kind of nation will he leave behind him once he finally leaves office.

But having said all that, the closest historical analogy I can find to what I think will happen with TrumpRussia is Iran-Contra. The only reason why I suggest that to dramatically different scandals may endup the same is that in the end, well, nothing really happened. Though Reagan got out of his jam by saying he was sorry, Trump will get out of his jam by muddying the waters to such an extent that even if he’s caught red handed there won’t be any national consensus as to what to do. But the end result of the two scandals will be the same: nothing. Even though Reagan should have been forced out of office, he wasn’t. And, too, Trump should been forced out of office, but he won’t.

We’re doomed. We’re completely doomed and Trump and his MAGA people will ruin the country once and for all. Add to this the implacable dumb beat for a Constitutional Convention and it really does seem that all is lost. I hope this isn’t the case, but as of right now, that seems to be exactly where we are.

That’s why someone like Oprah is such an appealing candidate for me. She inspires hope. She is everything Trump isn’t and yet shares many of his skillset. History is very strange — especially in this era — and maybe, just maybe some sort of hopeful event might pop up when I least expect it.

‘The Lowest White Man’ — #Lyrics To A #Pop-#Rock #Ballad

This would have a Elton John vibe to it. At least, it’s supposed to be structured like a Bernie Taupin song. But I don’t take any lyrics I write too seriously. Just relaxing. Being creative. Better than sleeping.

The Lowest White Man
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

Trump is the lowest of the low
gives lady liberty a body blow every morning
when he tweets his consciousness
he lives in the muck I’m afraid
trying to put fear into the hearts of his foes
but all he does his put them in repose

he’s the lowest white man
he’s in control of the world
has the codes in his small little hands
he’s the lowest white man

his toadies like on the TV screen
empty their spleens as hard as they can
telling us lies as obvious as can be
tell us the moon is made of cheese
and the emperor is fully clothed
but we know he’s the lowest white man
we know he’s the lowest white man

but one day all this will be over
I have to give myself the hope that this is true
otherwise what can I do
maybe one day one day soon
we won’t have the lowest white man in power
he’ll be removed from office by the people
the lowest white man will be gone
the lowest white man will be gone
the lowest white man will be gone

‘Nothingburger’ –#Lyrics To An #EDM-#Pop Fusion Song

I am well aware that not only I’m not that great a lyricist but that EDM songs usually are produce with the beats first then lyrics. But I like EDM and it seems to fit the mood I want for these lyrics, so there. These lyrics would go to something like a Basement Jaxx song.

Nothingburger
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

the Russians are rushing towards your HQ
want are you going to do, going to do
some people would say maybe you need to call the police
but you let them in and give them din-din
you talk treason, as Bannon would say
you eye the cute lawyer wonder if you’ll get laid

when the press asks you what happened
you just shrug and say
just shrug and exclaim
it’s a nothingburger, nothingburger, nothingburger

but we all know the truth
at least those of who see
those of us who look with our eyes
something’s up between those Russian sighs
this is a big deal I’m afraid

how this is all going to go down
nobody knows, nobody knows
will the Russian bear come to stay another day
or will we kick him to the curb and start a new

when the press asks you what happened
you just shrug and say
just shrug and exclaim
it’s a nothingburger, nothingburger, nothingburger

[bridge]
but this is just what you need right now
a distraction from the truth
a distraction from your looting of the nation
what you need is a nothingburger

nothing will be the same
once your crimes are found out
once we all get to cry and shout
all about the truth
that this nothingburger is anything but

nothingburger, nothingburger, nothingburger
nothingburger, nothingburger, nothingburger
nothingburger, nothingburger, nothingburger

‘The Ballad Of Jeff Sessions’ — #Lyrics To A #Folk #Rock Song

This would be an angry folk rock song like Neil Young’s Southern Man. At least, that’s my imagination on the subject. Again, I only write song lyrics because it’s relaxing, not because I expect them to be produced.

The Ballad Of Jeff Sessions
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

Jeff Sessions you want to crack down on us all
think you can have the gaul to chain us to the wall
but I got something to tell you
you’re nothing but a fool
a racist old fool and we’ll soon be done with you

he’s coming for us all in the end
wants to take away our dank
throw us in the tank
Jeff Sessions is nothing but an evil old elf

he’s racist as they come
he leaves no white hood behind
wants to break the back of black folks
throw them back to the past

[bridge]
Jeff Sessions can’t handle a joke
doesn’t laugh
not one bit
he tongue is split like a snake
a Russian snake he can’t remember
not even one he spoke to over dinner

but we know the truth
the facts speak for themselves
in the end we shall over run his hate
bring peace back to the land
our need for justice will be slaked

‘I Started The Media Men List’ — #Lyrics To A Rock Song

I just enjoy telling stories in verse. I don’t expect this to ever be produced. Just find writing song lyrics on the fly to be relaxing. So, take all of this in context. I see the music to this to be sad and slow like Radiohead’s “How I Made My Millions.” But, whatever. Just having fun.

I Started the Media Men List
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

time has come to change the world
time has come to make a difference
we have to stop standing still
mine is the power to make a change
here is what I did

I started the media men list
I started the media men list
I started the media men list

the winds of change are blowing
making people take notice
but will they hear what I have to say
or will they push it back another day

I am using my voice
to give notice to those in power
that what has been done can be no more
we have to fight the good fight
end men’s ability to take delight by force

I started the media men list
I started the media men list
I started the media men list

[bridge]
when change happens at last
this car won’t run out of gas
been too long
it’s too late
we must continue even at this late date

I started the media men list
I started the media men list
I started the media men list

‘Very Stable Genius’ — #Lyrics to a Pop-Rock Song

I only write song lyrics because it’s relaxing. That’s it. And I like to tell stories in verse. In my imagination, the music to this would be something post-punk like the Psychedelic Furs.

Very Stable Genius
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

Trump is one of those guys
weak man’s take on a strong man
dumb man’s take on a smart man
he think’s got it under control
but we all know it’s all fake

he think’s he’s a very stable genius
thinks he’s a very stable genius
think’s he’s a very stable genius

things could be worse
his cheeseburger could be cold
and Kim Jun Un on hold
but he’s the type of guy
who does everything on the sly

Trump is ruler of the world
wants to bring down ruin on us
it seems as such
but only we can change this
by voting in the fall
resist, resist, resist

he think’s he’s a very stable genius
thinks he’s a very stable genius
think’s he’s a very stable genius

[bridge]
we have to be ready to answer the call
things are dire it’s obvious to me
that the end may come
if we don’t ring the bell of liberty

we have one last chance
one last chance to defeat Trump and his goons
but let’s not lose sight of the fact that
Trump thinks he’s a
very stable genius
very stable genius
very stable genius

The Moment Someone Mentions The ‘Pence Pivot,’ I’m Going To Lose My Shit

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

It goes without saying that we’ve finally achieved dystopia. This has happened in large part to complete complacency of the “Lulz, nothing matters” conservatives who are too busy raising their children, working hard and paying taxes to care about anything Trump does. They just don’t care. They cared for a few days in late 2016 around the election and they made their decision.

Everyone else, meanwhile, looks around and sees hell. The very things that people like me have been worried about when it comes to Trump have come to pass. We’re careening towards a theocratic, autocratic plutocracy. This has been building for decades and with the advent of Trump has accelerated at light speed. We still have several more years of Trump bad behavior before the “Lulz, nothing matters” conservatives finally begin to care again. In fact, it may be 2020 or 2024 before they stop raising their kids long enough to pause, again, to take an interest in politics.

It is because of the “Lulz, nothing matters” conservatives that Bob Mueller could prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Trump’s 2016 campaign colluded with the Russians and nothing will happen. Add to all of this the very real possibility that Trump will wag the dog by starting a war with the DPRK and the future of the United States is pretty dark for the next few decades.

But should Trump finally, finally do something so heinous, so obscene that the “Lulz, nothing matters” conservatives get woke, there is a very real possibility that at the very moment they agree with me that Trump has, at last, gone too far and has to go, they will do the Pence Pivot. The Pence Pivot, at least in my mind, is when a Trump supporter says, in essence, that it was all worth it because they wanted Mike Pence to be president, anyway.

I am not a violent man, but the first time someone uses that argument on line or in person, I’m going to lose my shit. I am going to scream until I’m mute. That someone would just ignore the damage Trump has done with the wave of a hand and say it doesn’t matter Pence is president now is such an affront to everything I believe in I’m going to flip my lid. I’m going to lose my shit.

But I doubt we’ll ever get to that point. The “Lulz, nothing matters” conservatives are so content with Trump’s insane vision of America that we will never reach the Trump Singularity when the Pence Pivot happens. There’s nothing we can do. Nothing. This is it. The end. The America that I knew growing up is no more and the only reason why I’m not moving back to Seoul is, in real terms, I can’t.

Of The Resistance, #NeverTrump, A United Front, The #2018Midterms & A Flag

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I propose a United Front against Donald Trump in the 2018 election cycle designed with the sole purpose of electing people to Congress willing to vote to impeach and convict Donald Trump. Right now, there are two groups: the Left’s Resistance and the Right’s #NeverTrump. I propose the two formally united the banner of a United Front.

Now, I like to name things and the first name for a united front that comes to mind is the Jackson-Lincoln United Front, uniting the founders of the two major political parties. But, of course, everyone wants to hate on Jackson these days for being a horrible racist, so that would be problematic. So, maybe Washington-Lincoln might be better. Or even the Roosevelt-Reagan United Front. Something symbolic that represents the two sides of the political spectrum. Or, hell, maybe even the Comey United Front. I’d know. Work with me.

I also suggest a flag to go with the United Front. Now, the reaction of many — many nearly all — is we already have a flag, Old Glory, which would be perfect for the job. But to suggest that misses the point. Old Glory is great and all, but we need something specific to a United Front that would help united people in the specific goal of impeaching and convicting Donald J. Trump. There are so many things we could impeach Trump for at this point that the Articles of Impeachment write themselves.

Some Thoughts On How America Gets Out Of This Trump Mess #Resist

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

The existential question of the day is whether or not Donald Trump is a fluke or the dawn of a new, dystopian era in American history. One thing is fore sure, Trump’s rise to power is the culmination of structural, systemic issues in the American body politic. Not to invoke his name too lightly, but Trump, in a sense, is an American Hitler if you think of history but as the biography of great men.

It is possible that the United States will bounce back, at least momentarily, from this Bad King. I mean, Caligula in all his insanity didn’t manage to bring down the Roman Empire. But I do think Trump is endemic of the end of the American Republic. The entire system is so broken, so built to squash leadership in any meaningful way, that there’s a real chance the United States is fucked.

And, yet, it is at least possible to put a positive spin on things. But it would require some pretty astonishing things to happen. The crux of the issue is — has Trump so fundamentally warped American politics that we can’t go back to traditional politicians? Have we reached Idiotracy at last and from now one, our politicians have to be establish celebrities and our celebrities have to be politicians? The answer to that kind of question will come, probably about November 2018.

When people begin to throw their hats into the presidential ring in earnest in late 2018, that will determine the tempo of things. A lot, unfortunately, depends on one Donald J. Trump. If Trump manages to survive past 2020 and have a second term, it’s really likely that there really will be no turning back. It’s very possible that we will have entered a new era in American political life that really is dark and uncharted. A lot depends who Trump is going to be up against in 2020.

I have long suggested that the only type of person who could defeat Trump, who is nothing more than overgrown middle-school bully, would be the adult equivalent of a middle-school class clown. It seems readily apparent that someone like Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert or even Chelsea Handler might be the silver bullet that might be able to slay the political monster that is Trump. Handler, in particular is, in a weird way, perfectly suited to the task at hand. She’s got just the right acerbic wit combined with a tough as nails sensibility that she could effectively deal with whatever horrific vitriol the Right wing managed to throw at her. There is the issue of a sex tape released by a vengeful ex-boyfriend, but I would like to think in this bizarre political world we now live in that wouldn’t be held against her too much, at least by most voters.

Meanwhile, both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert would be great candidates as well, but it’s highly unlikely that Stewart would leave his petting zoo in New Jersey or that Colbert would leave a successful late night talk show to run for president.

One thing we have to take seriously is how the Russians might try to meddle in the election again. The American political system is so fucked up in a structural way, that it’s very well possible they could throw the election to Trump AGAIN and nothing would happen. Trump really has a near mystical hold on his followers that is difficult to explain or break. It is very well possible that he will not only survive, but thrive and prosper in the coming days and that there really will be nothing to stop him from finishing two complete terms.

That, of course, would leave the issue of where will America be once he finally has to step down. I would, again, suggest that that will be settled by who his successor is. If Trump’s successor, after eight years in office, is another celebrity, then that would be a definitely different spin on things than if it was a career politician. At this point, it’s too early to tell which it will be. Right now, it seems as though Trump is going to plow his way through the American political system, doing as much damage as possible.

And, yet, if, say, someone like James Comey were to succeed Trump at some point in the future, the American Republic might bounce back a lot quicker than you might think. But that is being really optimistic. It is difficult for me to say in good faith that the United States is even a Republic at all anymore. We are careening towards a theocratic, autocratic plutocracy of sorts. No amount of leadership will fix such long term trends. Effective leadership might manage it, mitigate it or ameliorate it but it won’t eliminate it altogether.

Having said all that, I would also like to say that as an American, I have hope that American exceptionalism still burns in the hearts and minds of its citizens and we ultimately will reject the “managed democracy” of Russia. I’d like to think that at some point people power will kick in and we’ll take back our government from the kleptocracy that it’s succumb to for the time being. But I don’t know, I just don’t know. I can’t predict the future and it could go either way, it really could.

At this point, we’re just going to have to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune until November 2018. If the “Blue Wave” really does wash down on the shores of Washington, then we can talk. Then there is a real chance that this Trumpian nightmare will end sooner rather than later and we can put it behind us. But every day Trump is in office, we risk bigger and worse disasters.

A real chance exists that Trump will try to save his sorry ass politically by pulling the biggest “wag the dog” in American history by initiating a “preemptive war” against the DPRK. I could totally see him doing it by, say July 2018, so in about November 2018 his approval rating will be in the high 80s as TV and social media are awash with the spectacular images of the long-oppressed people of North Korea at last being liberated. We could all wake up in 2021 to a truly distopian future.

One fear I have is Trump is, really, the only thing keeping the United States away from a civil war. The peace of mind that Trump gives the insane Right wing may be a weird firebreak that we won’t realize we enjoy until it’s gone. The United States is, right now, effectively two different nations and it could tear itself apart if we don’t find some effective leadership in years ahead. But sometimes you don’t get leadership until there’s a reason for people to rise to the occasion, so who knows what will happen.