‘Duck & Cover’ — #Lyrics To An Old School Hip-Hop Song About Trump & WWIII

This is my really quick attempt to write something like you might hear from Public Enemy. I have no beat, so you might have to change it some to fit a beat you might stumble across to use.

Duck & Cover
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

duck and cover is what I hear in the news
it gives me the blues how many of us snooze
we’ve got a fucking moron as president
he wants to start wars because he’s a punk as bore
the rubber is going to burn when the mushroom cloud is seen
I resent the facts presented to me
but no one seems to want to fight the power
like they did in ’89
they would rather stare into a screen
makes me want to scream, scream, scream
what is going to happen when we hear on the TV set

duck and cover
duck and cover
duck and cover
duck and cover

it didn’t have to be this way I’m afraid
if only the Russian bots had not crushed our hopes
maybe peace would still be in the land
but there’s seemingly nothing we hear
other than duck and cover, duck and cover, duck and cover
when will we learn, when will we listen
maybe I’m just too naive
we all have red blood and that’s a fact
when Trump pushes the button and ends us all
we’ll all be black from our burns

duck and cover
duck and cover
duck and cover
duck and cover

what can we do you may ask
fight the power in the streets
stop being a keyboard fighter
tie up your shoes and do your thing
to march in the streets
demand that we keep life on this planet
Trump is a fucking moron it’s obvious to see
it’s our task to get him out of the White House
if we don’t I’m afraid we’re all going to scream

duck and cover
duck and cover
duck and cover
duck and cover

‘Moron’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Rock-Rap Song

This one is about how Sec. of State Rex Tillerson called Trump a “fucking moron.” I’m not as good a writer as Kanye West, but my goal is something like “Power.” As always, I’m just screwing around.

Moron
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or preform

the president’s a fucking moron
threatening WWIII
at least that’s what I believe
the rockets are on the pad
that’s not boring let me say
we’re all going to pay
when the end comes did you get laid
will we do our best when the day ends
or will we all act like lads

the president’s a fucking moron
the president’s a fucking moron
he’s going to end us all

but we have the gaul to end him politically
the Vichy Republicans are too callow
they’re going to allow it all
we’re just going to have to duck and cover
when the sirens ring through the air
there’s nothing we can do I’m afraid
you don’t have to tickle me
to make me laugh
at the asshat we have the president
right now

the president’s a fucking moron
the president’s a fucking moron
he’s going to end us all

[bridge]
what is going to happen
the end is neigh
so let me touch your thigh
so let me touch your thigh
no need to make a baby
they won’t grow up anyway

the president’s a fucking moron
the president’s a fucking moron
he’s going to end us all

‘Adult Daycare Center’ — #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Folk Song

I only associate these lyrics with a folk song because, as I understand it, usually a folk song’s lyrics are written before the music. I am well aware that I know nothing about music and no one will ever do anything with these lyrics, but Trump keeps churning out song titles and concepts.

Adult Daycare Center
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

the president is unhindged
tweeting night and day
the people are questioning his sanity
should he be put away for good
should he be put in a

adult daycare center
that’s is fate we’re all afraid
adult daycare center
what day will this happen we say

the president wants World War III
or so it seems
wants to destroy the peace
please listen to my cry I say
the president won’t relent until the end
until the end is here

adult daycare center
that’s is fate we’re all afraid
adult daycare center
what day will this happen we say

[bridge]
don’t tell me things will be ok
don’t tell such silly words
we’re in trouble I’m afraid
what happens next is scary indeed

adult daycare center
that’s is fate we’re all afraid
adult daycare center
what day will this happen we say

‘Times Square’ — #Lyrics To A Pop-Rock Song

Just screwing around. Feel like trying to tell stories in verse. No expectations. Just enjoy writing lyrics.

Times Square
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

swarm of people around me
none of them want to speak
the cross roads of the world
you sit there and experience the feat
the energy makes you leap to your feet
things happen all night til they peak

Times Square
Times Square
Times Square
there’s nothing that can compare

what happens during the night
is anyone’s guess
people from all over here and there
want to look at the lights and stare
but what can you say
when people are ready to pay, pay, pay
for theatre tickets

people want to laugh
people want to cry
at the stories the city tells by and by
just hold on tight
things are just about to rise
to a level you’ve never seen
you’ll never want to say goodbye

Times Square
Times Square
Times Square
there’s nothing that can compare

[bridge]
the women in their little black dresses
give the boys pause for thought
what happens next
is anyone guess
will their boyfriends get lucky
or go home feeling unhappy

we’re all in this together
at least I like to think
surrender the pink quick as can be
so we can all go home feeling lucky

Times Square
Times Square
Times Square
there’s nothing that can compare

‘Eye Never Met You’ — #Lyrics To A Pop-Rock Song

This is meant to be lyrics to one of those early 80s songs like “Eye In The Sky.” That’s the vision for it, at least. I’m just screwing around. Not to be taken very seriously.

Eye Never Met You
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

seen you on my screen and I want to scream
you’re too beautiful you’ve gotten into my head
there’s nothing to do
you make me want to roar
but I have to admit
I’m never going to quit
I lean into the scene
hoping you know what I mean

but in the end
we will never meet

eye never met you it’s true
sorry to say
sorry to say
eye never met you babe
it’s my life to lose
eye never met you
eye never met you
eye never met you

when I look back I see the truth
you’re with another to boot
but one day it’ll all change I hope
you’ll be with me ’cause I’m no dope
but what happens next
I can hope believe I know

but in the end
we will never meet

eye never met you it’s true
sorry to say
sorry to say
eye never met you babe
it’s my life to lose
eye never met you
eye never met you
eye never met you

[bridge]
what can happen between you and me
will you flee with you depart
I can only hope maybe not
you’re a beauty as true as they come
be mine, be mine, be mine

so the end has come
you’ll swim up stream
leave me to my thoughts
knowing you’ll never arrive
we’ll always be apart

eye never met you it’s true
sorry to say
sorry to say
eye never met you babe
it’s my life to lose
eye never met you
eye never met you
eye never met you

‘Great, America’ — Proposed #SNL Skit

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Trump is always talking about “making America great again,” and I propose the following SNL skit. It would be set in a rural place of indeterminate location. The comedy would come from us trying to figure out when and where Great, America is.

It would be amusing to see as we struggle to figure out exactly when America was great and why.

Stephen Colbert For President

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Now that it’s been established that a complete imbecile, Right wing troll, celebrity can become president, why not a smart funny liberal one? I have suggested several times in the past that Jon Stewart would be the perfect person to run against Donald Trump in 2020, but he seems completely and totally uninterested in public life these days.

So, I find myself looking for someone else.

Oprah is an obvious choice, but I don’t know if she could handle the complete bonkers viciousness of the alt-Right who would probably come after her with Tiki torches should she run. So, looking around, there seems to be one person who could slay the political dragon that is Donald Trump. In real terms, the direct political equivalent of Donald Trump is Keith Olbermann. But Olbermann, while articulate, is a little too on the money as a Trump Leftist equivalent.

Stephen Colbert, meanwhile, would be a perfect political candidate for these bonkers, unprecedented times that we live in. One thing Trump is not is funny. He has zero sense of humor. That’s his weakness. I think someone with a real sense of humor could deal a serious blow to Trump in a head-to-head political fight. There are other funny politicians, like Al Franken, but he seems ambivalent, to say the least about running for president.

Colbert seems, at least to me, to be the perfect candidate for the modern political environment that we live in. He’s funny, smart, and extremely earnest. He has zero political experience beyond one faux political campaign, but the instant he announced for president people in the center-Left would get on board pretty quick. There would be a real movement quality to the whole thing, just as there was with Trump in the first place.

As I said more than once, the thing about Trump is, the only person who can defeat the middle-school bully is the middle school class clown.

The question, of course, is Colbert do it? I have a feeling, no. Not in 2020. But after eight years of Trump in 2024 — and after Colbert has about a decade as a late night host under his belt — maybe the siren call of politics might be too much for him and he might do it. But who knows.

Twitter & The End Of The American Republic

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Something really needs to be done about Twitter. Twitter is horrible. What makes it so bad is seems to aid and abet the most extreme voices being heard at the cost of more moderate ones. It’s all very sad. And, at least in the near term, there doesn’t seem to be anything we can do about it.

America suffered a terrorist attack of sorts last year during the 2016 election cycle and we’ve done, in real terms, to address it. This is so because of a complex assortment of problems in the American political system which in historical context can leave one aghast.

The key take away is that in the short term we’re screwed. Because of gerrymandering and a continuing meme war on the part of Russian trolls and bots, not to mention Donald Trump’s unhinged yet oddly effective divide and conquer government style there simply is nothing we can do for the next few years. It could be a decade before anything is done, in real terms, to fix these systemic problems.

Really, if we wanted to fix one of the problems associated with our bizarre political system right now, we would get Google — or the US Government for that matter — to buy Twitter. Have the Federal government buy Twitter and implement some basic, much needed reforms to the service. Or, really, shut it down. Maybe if we shut Twitter down something much better would pop up to replace it.

It’s obvious that we need something like Twitter. It’s just that Twitter does such a bad job of service it’s technological and media space that it’s doing real damage to our politics and civil society. Given the stakes, I don’t think it would be too much to ask for it to be a lot harder to make a Twitter account. Maybe everyone on Twitter should have to be verified?

I still like the idea I’ve long proposed where you might have “Groups” in a hypothetical replacement service that could only be created by verified accounts. Within these Groups you’d have threaded “Discussions” that anyone could participate in. It would be kind like a mish-mash Reddit and Twitter, but really simply an update of the old Usenet concept. But, really, the point is to make it more difficult for bots and paid trolls to attack the United States political system during a campaign cycle.

But there just doesn’t seem to be anything, in the short term, that we can do about the problem. Nothing at all. We’re screwed. Nothing is going to happen because no one wants to do anything about it. If we don’t do something about it, however, we run a real risk irrevocable damaging being inflicted on the American Republic. Now that it’s been established that the Russians can screw around with our election system, what’s to stop some other nation from following in their footsteps?

Really, at this point, nothing. The American Right is so callow, Vichy and power hungry while the American Left is so busy imploding that in real terms there is nothing that can or will happen in the short term. We’re stuck with what we got for two, four, even eight more years at the least. We need some leadership and I don’t see that happening anytime soon, sorry to say.

Talk To Me Internet: We Need To Do Something About Twitter

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

It’s pretty obvious that we are going to have a repeat of 2016’s political catastrophe if don’t do something about Twitter’s bot problem. But, alas, it’s just not a priority for us as a nation right now. The Russians will come back eventually and keep throwing elections to the politician of their choice until The Powers That be finally, finally have a vested interested to do something

How long that will be, exactly, is anyone’s guess.

Could be a long, long, long, long time. Decades.

It would be cool to think Google would buy Twitter and do something really cool with it or that, hell, maybe the government would buy it. But, alas, neither one of those things is ever going to happen and we’re just screwed.

Here’s a bonus Talk To Me Internet:

‘Nasty Woman’ — #Lyrics To Woke Pop-Rock-R&B Fusion Song

I’ve written this one for no other reason than I see an opportunity for lyrics. The mayor of San Juan wore a “Nasty” shirt. So, here you go.

Nasty Woman
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
Hook by whoever wrote Nasty for Janet Jackson a long time ago
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

It’s Jackson if you’re nasty
It’s Jackson if you’re nasty
It’s Jackson if you’re nasty

the president is tweeting
all during the week
and it’s pretty weak
but there’s nothing more we seek
than a little leadership
from the people in D.C.

It’s Jackson if you’re nasty
It’s Jackson if you’re nasty
It’s Jackson if you’re nasty

nasty woman is in control
nasty woman is telling us the truth
nasty woman what will the president do

nothing is going to change
unless the nasty women do something true
it’s true that the nasty women have to move
they have to move the earth and moon too
because men just won’t do anything at all

we just want someone to pull us through
during this time of crisis
but we ain’t got shit
people aren’t listening to anything
that we say
so we have to be nasty

It’s Jackson if you’re nasty
It’s Jackson if you’re nasty
It’s Jackson if you’re nasty

nasty woman is in control
nasty woman is telling us the truth
nasty woman what will the president do

[bridge]
bring me some empathy
bring me something to believe in
something that is true
’cause we got nothing in the White House
it’s true

It’s Jackson if you’re nasty
It’s Jackson if you’re nasty
It’s Jackson if you’re nasty

nasty woman is in control
nasty woman is telling us the truth
nasty woman what will the president do