At the moment, at least, I kind of live in an idyllic bubble where nothing really happens to me. This is both good and bad. It’s good because who wouldn’t want such a situation, and it’s bad because even the smallest blip in my life is enough to give me pause for thought.
Cara babe, I’m nuts like you. Grin.
With the latter in mind, something weird is going on with one of my posts about Cara Delevingne being my “celebrity crush.” I posted this a long time ago and haven’t thought much about it until recently when I started getting a tiny little uptick of people reading it on this blog.
It just makes no sense.
I didn’t really write anything all that provocative, and yet, for some reason, people out of the blue are reading it specifically. It’s not like they’ve found it via search, they go to it directly.
Anyway. I have no idea what is going on. It’s probably nothing. But, like I said, even the smallest thing can get me riles up (just a little bit.)
So, there is a lot of hubbub on Tik-Tok about an extremely attractive blonde bride flashing her underwear as part of her wedding party pictures. She’s clearly having a great deal of fun and her underwear is floral so it’s not like she’s trying hide the fact that she has it on.
Now, I validate all the “concern” on the part of plebes like me about this situation. (I’m very poor.) I get it, I understand. But there is some context to what happened that I feel needs to be addressed.
First, there no proof that she’s American. I think she might be European. Second, she is very, very hot. Like, model hot. Thirdly, she was having a great deal of fun with everyone else in the picture. So, lulz, she may have just gotten wrapped up in the moment and was like, “YOLO.’ And, lastly, wealthy people (which she clearly is) have a whole different moral system that poor people like me.
Take, for instance, the fact that Kaia Gerber and Cara Delevingne clearly at some point in the past were dating and there was not a peep from even the celebrity media about how it was going on as it happened. The two love birds were so brazen that even Taylor Swift got involved, giving them a two-person sweater to wear.
And, yet, not a peep from the celebrity press about this bombshell relationship — Gerber is Cindy Crawford’s daughter.
Anyway, some of the people on Tik-Tok are really up in arms about “the Flashing Bride.” There are so many other, bigger, issues to worry about I wouldn’t get too upset about it. So she flashed some people. So what.
Whatever Cara Delevingne has, I’d like some of it. She bangs hot woman after hot woman in a very, very gratuitous, conspicuous way time and time again.
Her latest conquest is Anya Taylor-Joy who I thought was marriedto a man! But, lulz? And I know, I know, I’m making an assumption — but given Ms. Delevingne reputation there is absolutely ZERO FUCKING WAY those two women aren’t fucking each’s brains out other every chance they can get.
But I can’t see what goes on behind closed doors. Maybe nothing? I wish the two women well, regardless. It is…amusing…how Ms. Delevingne doesn’t seem to give a shit.
I feel for Cara Delevingne because she’s bonkers like me, if even if her style of being bonkers is a bit more self-destructive than my type. But the looks I’ve seen of her from tonight’s 2023 Met Gala are really good.
I’m just a rando, but I just eyeballing what I see, Ms. Delevingne did a great job. She’s an amazing subject just in general and she came to serve tonight. She definitely has a timeless beauty to her.
There’s a reason why they pay her the big bucks, as they say.
I’m enjoying some whiskey this quiet Sunday evening and so, lulz, I find my inebriated mind pondering the question of the ages: so, is Tay-Tay going to date Cara Delevingne now?
The thing about Tay-Tay is she is the exact center of modern white heteronormative pop culture. An entire generation of (white) (liberal) women have projected all their hopes, dreams and aspirations onto Tay-Tay to a ridiculous degree.
As such, there is a lot to unpack about what Tay-Tay might do next with her romantic life. I’m fond of Tay-Tay because from her lyrics — she’s obviously sex-positive and loves to drink — just like me! So, obviously, she’s just another human being like all of us.
So, all things equal, she should be allowed to go through a “slut era” like Emrata. But, alas, because of all those liberal white women feeling broody it may be that Tay-Tay just doesn’t feel she can go around banging a series of high profile men like Emrata.
If she did something which would be perfectly understandable, the Wall Street Journal (or The New Yorker) would be writing long tirades about how the woke cancel culture mob and feminism is turning even Tay-Tay into a slut. What does it all mean? The headlines would scream if Tay-Tay was seen conspicuously bouncing from man to man for a few months.
But, wait, it gets worse.
If Tay-Tay decide to make her long-rumored “queer” side official, the amount of verbiage written by “thinkers” in the mass media would be astonishing. It is very easy for center-Right people to assume Tay-Tay is one of them because of, well, the way she looks. This is true to the point that Tay-Tay has to go way, way, way out of her way to MAGA fascists they have it all wrong.
So, but for how MAGA fascists would freak the fuck out, I could totally see Tay-Tay dating someone like Cara Delevingne. I think it would be sweet and fun if she did, and given how many songs St. Vincent wrote about Delevingne, maybe we might get some music out of the whole thing. And, what’s more the two women are already pretty close — Delevingne was a member of Tay-Tay’s “squad” back in the day.
I still don’t know what might — or might not — have happened between Tay-Tay and Karli Koss. There was a moment there when it definitely SEEMED like they were fucking. But at the same time, whatever they were doing, they did in a way that gave them the plausible deniability of just being “good friends.”
And, remember, the idea of a same-sex relationship between two women being something to even notice is a construct of we Poors. Within the elite worlds of fashion and Hollywood to even raise an eyebrow about two women dating is considered extremely gouache and low class.
Anyway, the point is — while it would be cool and all if Tay-Tay went a little nuts and bed hopped with both men and women, I suspect that’s just not going to happen. The poor woman can’t even get married and drop a few kids without it being THE CENTER OF DEBATE on editorial pages across the world.
Instead of ranting about my usual “hysterical doom shit,” let’s pause to reflect the most important news of the day — Taylor Swift allegedly breaking up with Joe Alwyn.
H/T The Mirror
The thing about Tay-Tay is she is not only an aspirational figure for millions of women around the globe, she is also the exact center of Western pop culture. So, whatever might happen because of this breakup could have some significant pop culture implications.
Off the top of my head, I can’t help but think about how Tay-Tay isn’t getting any younger and, as such, she might start to be on the prowl for a husband-father-to-her-children type guy.
Or, alternately, she might decide to go through her “slut era” and be really aggressive dating a lot of different guys — and women? — before she finally settles down again. I mean, hell, if Emrata can date a string of high profile dudes during a few short months, so can Tay-Tay. (I find this potential scenario very, very dubious.)
And I doubt that Tay-Tay would totally freak out and date Pete Davidson, as much she might like to take a walk on the wild side like that. Her fanbase would explode into tears of Tay-Tay dated a bad boy like Pete Davidson. Or, heck, if she was even seen in his general vicinity anytime soon.
Alternately, if Tay-Tay wanted to placate a certain small, but vocal part of her fanbase, she would date Cara Delevingne, who was already a member of Tay-Tay’s “squad.” That would be one way to keep her name in the public eye a really mind-blowing manner.
But given what little I know about Tay-Tay’s preferences, she will probably pick a safe soy-boy like dude who is non-threatening just like Alwyn. But I will note that Tay-Tay makes no bones about being a sexual being — at least in her music — so it’s within the realm of possibility that she might freak out in some way and do something really interesting and thought provoking with her love life.
All I ask is whatever she does, she releases a rock album because of the experience.
When it comes to this particular era in Emrata’s life, it’s curious for what HASN’T happened — she hasn’t publicly dated a woman yet. Given Emrata’s reputation as a “pick me” girl, it would make a huge amount of sense for her to go through her “bi-sexual queen” phase.
You go, girl.
And as I’ve suggested before about Emrata, if she decides to date women she has to get through the Final Boss of Cara Delevingne. It would be so, so, so hot if those two started dating. Probably a million young men (and a few women) would start puberty at the thought of Emrata being Cara’s girlfriend, even if it’s just for a few publicity filled weeks.
I suppose it’s just a matter of time, all things considered. It would be one of those fun-interesting things that got everyone talking. Inevitably, of course, the What Does It All Mean culture police would swoop in and make us all miserable my ranting about to smoking hot women dating each other means….something?
Pete Davidson may get all the PR for his “big dick energy,” but it’s Cara Delevingne who is the DL MVP of Hollywood’s collective sexlife. The woman can not be stopped.
Just “friends.”
But her amazing ability to bed female celebrities is obscured because Hollywood doesn’t want us Poors to know what’s going on. If the Hollywood press was clear about what they knew of Delevingne sapphic exploits, it would raise a lot of questions from us Poors that they the Powers That Be would just rather not be asked.
The issue — we Poors just can’t process that the amount of bi-sexualism found in the upper ranks of society. This is especially the case for women. The Elite hold we Poors in such low regard, that they actively gaslight us whenever Delevingne beds yet ANOTHER high end Hollywood starlet.
What I care about is not so much who Delevingne beds, but the fact that the Hollywood press is gaslighting us. This is really grating on my nerves when things like this happen — apparently, Cindy Crawford’s daughter might be hooking up with Delevingne, despite having a “boyfriend.”
The rumor mill has it that the two women were all over each other at some post-Oscar function. I first became aware that they were OBVIOUSLY fucking when I saw a picture of the two women in a two-person cardigan gifted to them by none other than Taylor Swift of all people.
Given that fucking Delevingne is some sort of rite of passage for any hot woman in Hollywood, the idea that the Hollywood press would wilfully not mention what was going on between the two women when the picture was taken is very, very annoying to me
I don’t know about you, but I sure did like it better when Emily Ratajkowski was married to her cheating shithead husband. It seems as though the woman has decide to have a PR relationship with every single dude in showbiz and it’s beginning to make me roll my eyes.
Emrata
But given her status as a “pick me girl,” it is pretty much inevitable at this point that Emrata is going to date a woman in a really public manner. The woman she probably is going to it with is the go-to showbiz lesbian lothario Cara Delevingne. It almost seems an immutable force of future history that this is going to happen.
Of course, I suppose someone like Fletcher or Miley Cyrus might get in on the Emrata “walk on the wild side” action at some point. Emrata needs to chill out. I get that she just wants to bounce around with different dudes (and eventually women) but she’s so famous that it probably would be in her best interests just to find someone, anyone and stick with them for a little while.
Emrata’s future girlfriend?
I have to give Emrata credit, despite having one of the most languid personalities ever, she does manage to be consistently interesting and self-aware.
I’m well aware of not only how bonkers Cara Delevingne is but how she’s not all that interested in men, but I find something about her very attractive. She’s a real babe. If you want “my type” — even though I don’t really have one — Delevingne is in the sweetspot.
Cara Delevingne
I suppose some of her appeal is she’s interesting. She has an air of something really unique that catches one’s eye whenever she’s in your mind. She is very much in the same vein as my other British celebrity crush, Alexa Chung. Both women are witty and interesting and self-aware enough that they’re greater than the sum of their beauty.
Alexa Chung
All this makes me think about how I wish I hadn’t blown out an emotional knee because of ROKon Magazine. If that had not happened, I have the innate photographic ability that I could very well have bounced to New York City after Seoul and tried to be a professional fashion photographer.
But…that was moment has passed, I’m afraid. Even if I get what I want, say, because I stick the landing with my first novel and suddenly have the funds to make some of my other dreams become a reality, I’m just too old.
I have to accept that any success I have will have a far different context than I hoped I might have when I was living in Seoul as an expat in my mid-30s. I’m almost 50 now and, well, lulz. even if I become very wealthy overnight….the whole context would be different. I would be mature and “wise” and just not able to do the crazy, fun things that younger people do without even thinking about it.
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