Tag: Tik-Tok

Tik-Tok’s Algorithms Believe I’m a Woman?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve long found Tik-Tok’s algorithms so good as to be, well, spooky. The service often pushes me videos that are so personalized as to be downright eerie. It’s like it can somehow pick up on keywords rolling around in my mind.

Meanwhile, there is the issue of how I keep getting pushed extremely graphic videos about “girl stuff” that maybe is best left on “female Tik-Tok.” It’s not so much that it has to do with “girl stuff” as it is, well, I’d at least like a little warning of what I was about to see.

I keep getting pushed extreme close ups of illustrations of female genitalia being used in a video to discuss this or that thing about it. Or, most recently, I saw an extremely graphic video about how periods work. It was both illuminative and eye popping, to say the least.

The question of course, is why? Why am I, a red blooded American dude being pushed content that is obviously intended for a female audience? What makes this even more curious is 60% of my For You Page is “hot chicks” in various states of undress doing hot chick stuff. So, it’s obviously very jarring to see all these nubile hotties then out of the blue see and extreme close up of an illustration detailing the different types of labia.

I’ve often joked in the past that I’m a “male lesbian,” but that still doesn’t account for what’s going on. If you really, really wanted to be conspiratorial and paranoid, you might believe that Tik-Tok knows specifically what I think all the time — what most men think about all the time — and so it pushes me specific videos to accommodate that.

Of course, one possible non-crazy explanation is some how it is reading what I’m writing of the novel I’m working on and it can tell that at times I’m writing from a female POV. Maybe? That sorta makes sense.

But that would involve digital telepathy and I’m still note prepared to believe that is even a possibility.

Tik-Tok Did It Yet Again

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ok, so I was obsessively using Twitter as I’m apt to do, when I noticed someone say something about how they like the Steve Martin movie “Man With Two Brains.” For a moment, I thought REALLY HARD about a different Steve Martin movie, “All Of Me.”

I thought specifically of the scene where one character says to the other, “Back in the bowl.” Or, if you want to know — this specific scene:

Let me be clear — I didn’t tell anyone this. I didn’t search for the scene anywhere. All I did was think about it really hard for a brief moment. Then the moment passed.

Would you believe that Tik-Tok pushed that very scene at me out of the blue just a moment ago? The moment I saw it, I had to think, “Well, if Tik-Tok can read our minds, then there’s yet more evidence to suggest that is the case.”

But I suppose it’s all algorithms, no any extremely advanced and hidden technology that would allow the Chinese government to read the minds of America’s young people. Right, that’s not possible, is it? Is it?

Yet More Eerie Tik-Tok Shenanigans

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, a few days ago, I watched at YouTube vide of Christy Brinkley on the Howard Stern show where she talked about why she was never nude on film. I didn’t think anything more about this until I started thinking about her daughter with Billy Joel, Alexa Ray Joel.

I thought about how she obviously has gotten a lot of work done, probably because she had a chip on her shoulder about the iconic nature of her mother’s beauty.

So, today, there I was obsessively using Tik-Tok when I was pushed a video that dealt with this specific issue. It was as if Tik-Tok peered directly into my mind, made note of my stray thought about Alexa Ray Joel’s changing appearance and decided to push me a video about that subject.

Now, I suppose the case could be made that Tik-Tok is extremely intrusive and it noticed that I saw the YouTube video and it was THAT, not any sort of mind reading that caused me to get pushed the video.

This would be the logical explanation, but for the fact that this type of shit happens all the time. In fact, there is sometimes a nuance to whatever potential mind reading might be going on.

But, I’m not prepared to say, for sure, that Tik-Tok or Big Tech for that matter, has the technology to read our minds. Definitely something to think about. Because the other option — that a combination of being very aggressive searching into my apps and algorithms gives Tik-Tok, a Chinese company, the ability to figure out what’s going on in my mind.

Tik-Tok Did It AGAIN

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now, this particular instance of Tik-Tok potentially…uh…reading my mind, is not nearly as clear cut as some others. But it’s still a very spooky co-incidence, regardless.

So, for some time now, I’ve been thinking about a weird incident that happened to me while I was working as an extra on the set of the movie Lincoln that shot in Richmond a few years ago. What happen was, my zipper broke in my costume and someone had to get way too personal with my junk to zip my zipper up. It was all very embarrassing because neither one of us wanted it to happen, but, lulz, it did.

I’ve been thinking hard about this incident the last few weeks for no particular reason other than I’m getting older and the past tends to linger in your mind more than it should.

Well, today I was flipping through Tik-Tok when what did I see but a video about — you guessed it — a person not only having a zipper stuck….but someone else helping them attempt to get it zipped up.

It’s all very random and weird. It’s extremely spooky, if nothing else.

Wait, What? Artists Can’t Release New Music Unless It Goes Viral On Tik-Tok?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

This is something that can’t be true, right? Pop stars are being told by their management that they can’t release new songs until they go viral on Tik-Tok. That is just crazy, crazy for real for real.

Just nuts.

I mean, who’s to say this or that song is going to go viral on Tik-Tok in the first place? It doesn’t seem to serve anyone. It’s a lose-lose situation. But here we are.

Tik-Tok May Have Read My Mind Again

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now, as I keep saying, I’m well aware that I sound completely bonkers when I suggest that Tik-Tok and Big Tech can read our minds. And I only keep suggesting this because Tik-Tok keeps pushing me videos which are so specific to me that I struggle to figure out how it could just be its “algorithms” being responsible.

What’s more, the videos pushed make reference to thinks that I’ve not told anyone about.

The latest example is this — I am reading novel Project Hail Mary and I’m at a portion of the book that deals with the issue of gravity in space. Well, what was I pushed just now? A video about that exact thing.

I’m sure I’m reading too much into this, but, still. It’s very spooky.

Apparently, Tik-Tok Thinks I’m A Lesbian


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have spent a lot of time speculating that Tik-Tok might have some not-so-limited ability to like, read our minds and stuff. And then it does something like this — it keeps pushing me videos that seem to imply I’m a lesbian.

It’s all very odd.

I don’t understand how this is happening, given that 80% of FYP is nearly-naked women running around, jiggling their bodies to the latest dance trend. But out of the last 20%, a good 5% is of very, very female-oriented information that makes my eyes pop out.

I mean, how many times can one man see an up close, graphic and personal diagram of the female reproductive system before you start to think Tik-Tok has you all wrong?

Anyway, no harm no foul. I can only assume something about what I like on Tik-Tok makes the “algorithm” go haywire.

Did Tik-Tok Just Come Of Age As A News Delivery Source?



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Last night, as we were all processing the leak about the overturn of Roe, I looked at Tik-Tok. And, at least for me relative to Tik-Tok, we’ve now reached a moment where when there is big breaking hard news that a lot of people will get that news from Tik-Tok rather than somewhere else.

But I’m not totally sure yet.

It could be that while it will happen eventually, this is just the precursor for a coming new age. I have long thought that we needed a video Twitter. And I think we have it — Tik-Tok.

It’s not exactly what I envisioned, but it’s something similar.

Or, put another way, I think news consumption is about to undergo a vibe shift of sorts. It could be that within a year, it will simply be assumed that rather than turning to Twitter to learn about the news, people — especially younger people, will turn to Tik-Tok instead.

We’ll see.

Tik-Tok Consistently Pushes Me Videos That Make Me Think It Can Read My Mind


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now, I’m the first to admit that the idea of Tik-Tok being able to read our minds is pretty fucking bonkers. It’s just not something the average person can process as a serious concept. If you broach such an idea, people are going to laugh at you or roll their eyes or think you’re nuts or all three.

And I honestly can’t say I blame them.

But, I don’t know, man. Some of the videos that Tik-Tok pushes me are very, very specific to me. And then happens all the time. The latest incident was when I got pushed a video about why it is that it’s easier to accidently fall asleep on the couch than to intentionally fall asleep in your bed. I sleep on the couch all the time and this is an eerie insight into my interior monologue.

In fact, just in the last few days, I’ve given the idea of sleeping in a proper bed a lot of thought. And, then, there you go, I get pushed a video about that very subject.

Spooky. Spooky. Spooky.

But I have no proof and there’s no reason to believe that all of this isn’t just co-incidence.

Why Is Tik-Tok So Addictive?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Tik-Tok has seemingly come out of nowhere to become one of the most popular social media apps in use. I have to confess I use it a great deal and I’m an Old. But Tik-Tok is curious because it’s not nearly as utilitarian as Twitter or Facebook.

It seems to exist solely for the purpose of flinging off memes at an alarming rate. Most of the time it’s mindless fun. And, even more interesting, at least in my experience, it’s something of a “safe space” for attractive young women. If nothing else, it’s a very female oriented app.

What’s more, there’s very limited room for any sort of discussion on Tik-Tok. To the point that it’s rather useless. Though, I have to admit that Tik-Tok’s comment sections are even worse than YouTube’s which is saying something.

But back to the question at hand — why is Tik-Tok so addictive? Some of it is the app really knows its users really well. To the point that I sometimes think it can read my mind, but that’s just bonkers. I will note, however, that there may come a point when it becomes a running gag that instead of wanting some alone time with their boyfriend’s phone, suspicious girlfriends will just want access to their boyfriend’s For Your Page.

It is interesting that apps have devolved to the point that there is zero thinking involved now. Once Tik-Tok figures you out, you see video after video that you, personally, will like. And I think that’s why it’s so addictive. Most of the time, any video you’re pushed by the service is something you’re honestly interested in to the point that you spend way too much time on it because there never comes a point when you say, “Yeah, this is not for me.”

Not that there isn’t the occasional hiccup. Occasionally, I’ll find myself looking at a video that I absolutely hate. But that’s reasonably rare on Tik-Tok.

The successful of mindless Tik-Tok does make one wonder what comes next. I guess it will be something connected to the metaverse.