Apparently, Tik-Tok Thinks I’m A Lesbian


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have spent a lot of time speculating that Tik-Tok might have some not-so-limited ability to like, read our minds and stuff. And then it does something like this — it keeps pushing me videos that seem to imply I’m a lesbian.

It’s all very odd.

I don’t understand how this is happening, given that 80% of FYP is nearly-naked women running around, jiggling their bodies to the latest dance trend. But out of the last 20%, a good 5% is of very, very female-oriented information that makes my eyes pop out.

I mean, how many times can one man see an up close, graphic and personal diagram of the female reproductive system before you start to think Tik-Tok has you all wrong?

Anyway, no harm no foul. I can only assume something about what I like on Tik-Tok makes the “algorithm” go haywire.

Did Tik-Tok Just Come Of Age As A News Delivery Source?



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Last night, as we were all processing the leak about the overturn of Roe, I looked at Tik-Tok. And, at least for me relative to Tik-Tok, we’ve now reached a moment where when there is big breaking hard news that a lot of people will get that news from Tik-Tok rather than somewhere else.

But I’m not totally sure yet.

It could be that while it will happen eventually, this is just the precursor for a coming new age. I have long thought that we needed a video Twitter. And I think we have it — Tik-Tok.

It’s not exactly what I envisioned, but it’s something similar.

Or, put another way, I think news consumption is about to undergo a vibe shift of sorts. It could be that within a year, it will simply be assumed that rather than turning to Twitter to learn about the news, people — especially younger people, will turn to Tik-Tok instead.

We’ll see.

Tik-Tok Consistently Pushes Me Videos That Make Me Think It Can Read My Mind


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now, I’m the first to admit that the idea of Tik-Tok being able to read our minds is pretty fucking bonkers. It’s just not something the average person can process as a serious concept. If you broach such an idea, people are going to laugh at you or roll their eyes or think you’re nuts or all three.

And I honestly can’t say I blame them.

But, I don’t know, man. Some of the videos that Tik-Tok pushes me are very, very specific to me. And then happens all the time. The latest incident was when I got pushed a video about why it is that it’s easier to accidently fall asleep on the couch than to intentionally fall asleep in your bed. I sleep on the couch all the time and this is an eerie insight into my interior monologue.

In fact, just in the last few days, I’ve given the idea of sleeping in a proper bed a lot of thought. And, then, there you go, I get pushed a video about that very subject.

Spooky. Spooky. Spooky.

But I have no proof and there’s no reason to believe that all of this isn’t just co-incidence.

Why Is Tik-Tok So Addictive?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Tik-Tok has seemingly come out of nowhere to become one of the most popular social media apps in use. I have to confess I use it a great deal and I’m an Old. But Tik-Tok is curious because it’s not nearly as utilitarian as Twitter or Facebook.

It seems to exist solely for the purpose of flinging off memes at an alarming rate. Most of the time it’s mindless fun. And, even more interesting, at least in my experience, it’s something of a “safe space” for attractive young women. If nothing else, it’s a very female oriented app.

What’s more, there’s very limited room for any sort of discussion on Tik-Tok. To the point that it’s rather useless. Though, I have to admit that Tik-Tok’s comment sections are even worse than YouTube’s which is saying something.

But back to the question at hand — why is Tik-Tok so addictive? Some of it is the app really knows its users really well. To the point that I sometimes think it can read my mind, but that’s just bonkers. I will note, however, that there may come a point when it becomes a running gag that instead of wanting some alone time with their boyfriend’s phone, suspicious girlfriends will just want access to their boyfriend’s For Your Page.

It is interesting that apps have devolved to the point that there is zero thinking involved now. Once Tik-Tok figures you out, you see video after video that you, personally, will like. And I think that’s why it’s so addictive. Most of the time, any video you’re pushed by the service is something you’re honestly interested in to the point that you spend way too much time on it because there never comes a point when you say, “Yeah, this is not for me.”

Not that there isn’t the occasional hiccup. Occasionally, I’ll find myself looking at a video that I absolutely hate. But that’s reasonably rare on Tik-Tok.

The successful of mindless Tik-Tok does make one wonder what comes next. I guess it will be something connected to the metaverse.

Of Tik-Tok, Big Tech & ‘Digital Telepathy’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m very well aware that any suggestion that Big Tech can read our minds is demonstrably bonkers. It’s just not something any reasonable person can take seriously. And the only reason why I even mention it or keep thinking about it in a very conspicuous manner is how often Tik-Tok pushes me videos that are very, very specific to me personally.

If there was any reasonable explanation for how their “algorithm” knew something specifically about me, then I would dismiss the idea that digital telepathy was possible just like any one else.

But consistently since I started using Tik-Tok, I have been pushed videos that seem to reference specific things that I’ve thought about — and told no one else about. I have not written about it. I have not tweeted about it. I have no spoken about it. It’s something that’s been exclusively a part of my internal monologue.

I guess it seems so ridiculous on the face of it because it’s just something the average person is unwilling or unable to believe is even possible. We would know about it if they were doing it, right? For Big Tech and Tik-Tok to read our minds, it would be such a big technological advancement that they would tell us about it, right? Right?

But Arthur C. Clarke said once that, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” If Tik-Tok can read our minds, this is what I think is happening — it’s not granular. They can’t turn off any specific element of what your thinking about, so you only notice what’s going on when it deals with issues surrounding your body.

It’s things to do with the body that your most likely not tell anyone else about and, as such, when you get pushed videos by Tik-Tok that reference such things, you notice that it’s something you haven’t told anyone about.

Now, of course, you could say that it’s similar to how Target got in trouble once for sending to a young woman’s home coupons for pregnancy related things, even though she had not told her family yet. It think figuring out that someone is pregnant through what they do online is a lot different that being pushed a specific video about this or that thing about your body that has exclusively been a part of your internal monologue.

Another thing that goes against the idea of digital telepathy is someone, somewhere, would know the technology exists and, as such, it would leak out and we would know about it. It’s well known that Facebook and others have been looking into digital telepathy, but Facebook recently made a big deal about how they were scrapping the project.

So, I don’t know. For the time being, I’m just going to have to accept that I sound bonkers for even mentioning the possibility that Big Tech can read my mind through my cellphone.

Tik-Tok As A Female ‘Safespace’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

One of the more curious developments in social media of late is how Tik-Tok of all things is now a female dominated social media service. Or, put another way, it’s either that or because Tik-Tok is actively reading my mind it knows I’m something of a male lesbian and as such I get a peek into what women are seeing on the app. (wink.)

Julia Fox, Tik-Tok lightening rod.

My “For You Page” is dominated by cats, some politics, a little bit of weird conspiracy theory, hot chicks and women talking about various aspects of being female. I’m very pleased that women, for once, can dominate a corner of the online world.

I just find it curious as to why this happened. I think some of it may be that one, younger women who have grown up with the Internet their entire lives are comfortable with being on camera and, even more importantly, because I’m male a sizable portion of the women I’m seeing are hot. They’re hot social media influencers who are already used to running around being salacious with not a lot of clothes on while on Instagram.

So, in a sense, Tik-Tik is a natural progression from what we’ve seen with photography for years on Instagram. Some of the very-female oriented content I’ve seen on my FYP has been rather eye-opening. Like, at one point, I kept seeing a video where a woman narrated a very detailed graphic illustrated depiction of the female genitalia. I’m all for such stuff, but it was rather unexpected on my FYP otherwise filled with the Green brother explaining this or that unknown part of the scientific world.

Anyway, this development with Tik-Tok is pleasant and unexpected. We’re so used to Incels attacking women for not having sex with them that it’s nice that women can do whatever the fuck they want on a social media planform and not feel like it’s a hostile environment for once.

A Bit Of Meaningless Daydreaming



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It’s really annoying to me that it’s pretty obvious there is a media niche that’s not being filled at the moment — a successor to Spy Magazine or Gawker. Now, some context.

Twitter has pretty much so absorbed the snark of Gawker that, lulz, it’s kind of pointless to try to start something that would be a solution to a problem that doesn’t exist. As I keep saying, blogs are dead. Apps are dead. I get all my news passively from my Twitter feed. If I wan’t snark, I got to Twitter.

So, lulz, this is all moot.

And, yet, come to think of it, it would be nice as an Old to have a blog that was completely obsessed with Tik-Tok pop culture. It would be something of a companion piece to it. With that in mind, here’s what I would with Julia Fox.

Julia Fox is “the moment” as they say, and it would be fun to run around New York City with her. Have her wear a GoPro or something. Something, anything to be weird and different and NOT BORING. And, in that context, do a really up close and personal personality profile of Ms. Fox.

Anyway, absolutely no one listens to me. No one cares. It’s just irritating that I can see there’s a need for a new media outlet and yet I am, in real terms, powerless to do anything about it.

Vibe Shift: A New Gawker For Generation Tik-Tok



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner


The Tik-Tok generation doesn’t really have a blog of its own. I’m old enough to see the progression from Late Night With David Letterman to Spy Magazine to Gawker to….uh…..nothing? And I use Tik-Tok a lot even though I’m an Old and it seem pretty obvious that Tik-Tok is Ground Zero for modern pop culture.

Julia Fox — Tik-Tok icon.

If you believe we’re in the midst of a “vibe shift” then it makes a lot of sense that the new vibe would have its own publication. It’s kind of sad that Gawker is now an undead husk of itself — even though the original version was fucking hateful and nasty before its demise.

Anyway, here’s what I would do. I would start a site that was ostensibly obsessed with Tik-Tok and the pop culture it flings off at an astonishing rate each day. But, I would also produce a lot of really interesting, serious commentary about other topics — politics, what have you. You get The Youngs hooked on this new blog by taking Tik-Tok deadly seriously, then prepare them for the Adult World by presenting them with hot takes on what’s going on in the broader world.

And, if I was involved, I would occasionally throw curve balls involving doing something silly with Julia Fox around New York City or whatever. Or maybe the occasional sexxy snap of this or that celebrity simply to be ornery. The issue is — do anything not to be meh. Not to be boring. The whole reason the blog would exist would be to provoke a response of some sort.

As best I can tell, Generation Tik-Tok doesn’t have its own Gawker at the moment. Of course, there is a risk that, lulz, by definition Generation Tik-Tok doesn’t want it’s own Gawker-like blog and fuck you.

But it is something to think about.

Jesus, Tik-Tok Is Up To Something (Digital Telepathy?)


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Let me be clear — I do not think Tik-Tok (and Big Tech) can read my mind. But there continue to be times when I struggle to understand how an algorithm would know something so fucking specific to what was going on in my mind.

In this case, I have something so specific that I can point to it and wonder. Now, obviously, you don’t know what’s really going on in my mind. And it’s possible that there is something I did without thinking about it (no pun intended) that tipped Tik-Tok off to what I was thinking about. But, either way, things are very Soft Singularity no matter how Tik-Tok figured something out about what is rolling around in my mind.

So, here we go. There’s a famous picture of man in a crowd of Nazis who is the only person not to do the Nazi salute. Here it is:

Ok, no big deal. Well, would you believe I was looking at my Webstats and I saw that someone had literally asked the question, “Why is there a circle in the picture?”

This question was at the forefront of my mind for some time. Then, just today, Tik-Tok pushed me a very, very specific video that answered that very question.

This is probably the most specific that Tik-Tok that has gotten when it comes to pushing me spooky content. I say this because the only because I simply can not think of any possible way that Tik-Tok would have any indication, any metric that I was interested in that specific picture unless it was reading my mind.

But it’s not. That’s crazy talk.

I Continue To Get Pushed Tik-Tok Videos That Are Difficult To Explain



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Repeatedly over the last few days, I’ve been pushed videos that so so specific to me as a person that I struggle to understand how nothing more than “algorithms” could be the cause.

Who knows.

Now, again, I’m not saying that Tik-Tok can read our minds. But I am saying that something is going on that is difficult for me explain to myself without at least entertaining that idea.

There is a lot to unpack with Tik-Tok because it’s not just that I’m pushed very specific videos that seem very specific to me, I also get videos that seem to be making weird editorial comments about what’s rolling around in my head. Specifically, I continue to get videos pushed to me of women who not only look like a type of girl I like, but also the type of personality I like.

And repeatedly in the last 48 hours, Tik-Tok has pushed me specific videos that seem to be addressing specific things I’ve been thinking about a lot. These videos are so specific that it goes beyond “spooky” into the eerie and surreal.

Then there are more nuanced — and equally weird — thinks I get pushed.

Take, for instance, two things that if you know my mind, would be connected. One is I am constantly pushed videos dealing with Emily Blunt. This is no big eal in itself until you that I had something of celebrity crush on another hot British brunette — Alexa Chung.

But, wait, there’s more.

I’ve recently started to get pushed videos of a woman that I know Ms. Chung is fond of, Jane Birkin. Very odd.

Now, those last two are pretty vague and there are plenty — plenty — of other explanations besides digital telepathy. But the net effect of what I’m being pushed by Tik-Tok these days is to spook me.

The only reason why I keep commenting on this is reality — and everyone agreeing upon what is real — is very, very important to me. I don’t like the idea that Tik-Tok (and Big Tech in general) may be pulling a fast one on us and I might be the only person with nothing left to lose and, as such, am willing rant about how I think my mind is being read.

But they obviously aren’t. There’s no way that is possible. I’m just imagining things. Right, right? Right?