Now, I’m the first to admit that the idea of Tik-Tok being able to read our minds is pretty fucking bonkers. It’s just not something the average person can process as a serious concept. If you broach such an idea, people are going to laugh at you or roll their eyes or think you’re nuts or all three.
And I honestly can’t say I blame them.
But, I don’t know, man. Some of the videos that Tik-Tok pushes me are very, very specific to me. And then happens all the time. The latest incident was when I got pushed a video about why it is that it’s easier to accidently fall asleep on the couch than to intentionally fall asleep in your bed. I sleep on the couch all the time and this is an eerie insight into my interior monologue.
In fact, just in the last few days, I’ve given the idea of sleeping in a proper bed a lot of thought. And, then, there you go, I get pushed a video about that very subject.
Spooky. Spooky. Spooky.
But I have no proof and there’s no reason to believe that all of this isn’t just co-incidence.
Tik-Tok has seemingly come out of nowhere to become one of the most popular social media apps in use. I have to confess I use it a great deal and I’m an Old. But Tik-Tok is curious because it’s not nearly as utilitarian as Twitter or Facebook.
It seems to exist solely for the purpose of flinging off memes at an alarming rate. Most of the time it’s mindless fun. And, even more interesting, at least in my experience, it’s something of a “safe space” for attractive young women. If nothing else, it’s a very female oriented app.
What’s more, there’s very limited room for any sort of discussion on Tik-Tok. To the point that it’s rather useless. Though, I have to admit that Tik-Tok’s comment sections are even worse than YouTube’s which is saying something.
But back to the question at hand — why is Tik-Tok so addictive? Some of it is the app really knows its users really well. To the point that I sometimes think it can read my mind, but that’s just bonkers. I will note, however, that there may come a point when it becomes a running gag that instead of wanting some alone time with their boyfriend’s phone, suspicious girlfriends will just want access to their boyfriend’s For Your Page.
It is interesting that apps have devolved to the point that there is zero thinking involved now. Once Tik-Tok figures you out, you see video after video that you, personally, will like. And I think that’s why it’s so addictive. Most of the time, any video you’re pushed by the service is something you’re honestly interested in to the point that you spend way too much time on it because there never comes a point when you say, “Yeah, this is not for me.”
Not that there isn’t the occasional hiccup. Occasionally, I’ll find myself looking at a video that I absolutely hate. But that’s reasonably rare on Tik-Tok.
The successful of mindless Tik-Tok does make one wonder what comes next. I guess it will be something connected to the metaverse.
I’m very well aware that any suggestion that Big Tech can read our minds is demonstrably bonkers. It’s just not something any reasonable person can take seriously. And the only reason why I even mention it or keep thinking about it in a very conspicuous manner is how often Tik-Tok pushes me videos that are very, very specific to me personally.
If there was any reasonable explanation for how their “algorithm” knew something specifically about me, then I would dismiss the idea that digital telepathy was possible just like any one else.
But consistently since I started using Tik-Tok, I have been pushed videos that seem to reference specific things that I’ve thought about — and told no one else about. I have not written about it. I have not tweeted about it. I have no spoken about it. It’s something that’s been exclusively a part of my internal monologue.
I guess it seems so ridiculous on the face of it because it’s just something the average person is unwilling or unable to believe is even possible. We would know about it if they were doing it, right? For Big Tech and Tik-Tok to read our minds, it would be such a big technological advancement that they would tell us about it, right? Right?
But Arthur C. Clarke said once that, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” If Tik-Tok can read our minds, this is what I think is happening — it’s not granular. They can’t turn off any specific element of what your thinking about, so you only notice what’s going on when it deals with issues surrounding your body.
It’s things to do with the body that your most likely not tell anyone else about and, as such, when you get pushed videos by Tik-Tok that reference such things, you notice that it’s something you haven’t told anyone about.
Now, of course, you could say that it’s similar to how Target got in trouble once for sending to a young woman’s home coupons for pregnancy related things, even though she had not told her family yet. It think figuring out that someone is pregnant through what they do online is a lot different that being pushed a specific video about this or that thing about your body that has exclusively been a part of your internal monologue.
Another thing that goes against the idea of digital telepathy is someone, somewhere, would know the technology exists and, as such, it would leak out and we would know about it. It’s well known that Facebook and others have been looking into digital telepathy, but Facebook recently made a big deal about how they were scrapping the project.
So, I don’t know. For the time being, I’m just going to have to accept that I sound bonkers for even mentioning the possibility that Big Tech can read my mind through my cellphone.
I’m feeling kind of sad about the state of modern online journalism. The late, great Gawker is undead. Buzzfeed continues to cut its news staff. Ugh. Everything sucks.
And, yet, there is a space in the media universe that isn’t being served — Generation Tik-Tok. So, what I would do is start a blog that was a fusion of Buzzfeed, the old Gawker and a site obsessed with Tik-Tok. You generate buzz by really taking seriously the pop culture that Tik-Tok generates on a near moment by moment basis.
Now, there are obviously some problems with this idea. First of all, blogs are demonstrably dead. So, too, are apps. They’re both mature mediums. As such, it’s difficult to establish a new site or app these days without a lot — and I mean A LOT — of investment.
And, given that the metaverse is just around the corner, it’s simply impossible to get the investment necessary to successfully start something as antiquated and gauche as blog.
Nonetheless, I find the concept of such a blog intriguing. It would be fun to have a pop culture obsessed blog that was good enough that I went out of my way to read it instead of just passively learning about its coverage via Twitter. But, I don’t know — am I just being my usual delusional self to think such a thing is possible?
Probably yes.
And, really, I think what’s going on is I’m old and am being nostalgic for things that made me happy when I was a lot more younger. So, lulz. I suppose the era of both blogs and apps is over.
Now, we just wait for Silicon Valley to get around to rolling out the metaverse.
One of the more curious developments in social media of late is how Tik-Tok of all things is now a female dominated social media service. Or, put another way, it’s either that or because Tik-Tok is actively reading my mind it knows I’m something of a male lesbian and as such I get a peek into what women are seeing on the app. (wink.)
Julia Fox, Tik-Tok lightening rod.
My “For You Page” is dominated by cats, some politics, a little bit of weird conspiracy theory, hot chicks and women talking about various aspects of being female. I’m very pleased that women, for once, can dominate a corner of the online world.
I just find it curious as to why this happened. I think some of it may be that one, younger women who have grown up with the Internet their entire lives are comfortable with being on camera and, even more importantly, because I’m male a sizable portion of the women I’m seeing are hot. They’re hot social media influencers who are already used to running around being salacious with not a lot of clothes on while on Instagram.
So, in a sense, Tik-Tik is a natural progression from what we’ve seen with photography for years on Instagram. Some of the very-female oriented content I’ve seen on my FYP has been rather eye-opening. Like, at one point, I kept seeing a video where a woman narrated a very detailed graphic illustrated depiction of the female genitalia. I’m all for such stuff, but it was rather unexpected on my FYP otherwise filled with the Green brother explaining this or that unknown part of the scientific world.
Anyway, this development with Tik-Tok is pleasant and unexpected. We’re so used to Incels attacking women for not having sex with them that it’s nice that women can do whatever the fuck they want on a social media planform and not feel like it’s a hostile environment for once.
Let me be clear — I do not think Tik-Tok (and Big Tech) can read my mind. But there continue to be times when I struggle to understand how an algorithm would know something so fucking specific to what was going on in my mind.
In this case, I have something so specific that I can point to it and wonder. Now, obviously, you don’t know what’s really going on in my mind. And it’s possible that there is something I did without thinking about it (no pun intended) that tipped Tik-Tok off to what I was thinking about. But, either way, things are very Soft Singularity no matter how Tik-Tok figured something out about what is rolling around in my mind.
So, here we go. There’s a famous picture of man in a crowd of Nazis who is the only person not to do the Nazi salute. Here it is:
Ok, no big deal. Well, would you believe I was looking at my Webstats and I saw that someone had literally asked the question, “Why is there a circle in the picture?”
This question was at the forefront of my mind for some time. Then, just today, Tik-Tok pushed me a very, very specific video that answered that very question.
This is probably the most specific that Tik-Tok that has gotten when it comes to pushing me spooky content. I say this because the only because I simply can not think of any possible way that Tik-Tok would have any indication, any metric that I was interested in that specific picture unless it was reading my mind.
Repeatedly over the last few days, I’ve been pushed videos that so so specific to me as a person that I struggle to understand how nothing more than “algorithms” could be the cause.
Who knows.
Now, again, I’m not saying that Tik-Tok can read our minds. But I am saying that something is going on that is difficult for me explain to myself without at least entertaining that idea.
There is a lot to unpack with Tik-Tok because it’s not just that I’m pushed very specific videos that seem very specific to me, I also get videos that seem to be making weird editorial comments about what’s rolling around in my head. Specifically, I continue to get videos pushed to me of women who not only look like a type of girl I like, but also the type of personality I like.
And repeatedly in the last 48 hours, Tik-Tok has pushed me specific videos that seem to be addressing specific things I’ve been thinking about a lot. These videos are so specific that it goes beyond “spooky” into the eerie and surreal.
Then there are more nuanced — and equally weird — thinks I get pushed.
Take, for instance, two things that if you know my mind, would be connected. One is I am constantly pushed videos dealing with Emily Blunt. This is no big eal in itself until you that I had something of celebrity crush on another hot British brunette — Alexa Chung.
But, wait, there’s more.
I’ve recently started to get pushed videos of a woman that I know Ms. Chung is fond of, Jane Birkin. Very odd.
Now, those last two are pretty vague and there are plenty — plenty — of other explanations besides digital telepathy. But the net effect of what I’m being pushed by Tik-Tok these days is to spook me.
The only reason why I keep commenting on this is reality — and everyone agreeing upon what is real — is very, very important to me. I don’t like the idea that Tik-Tok (and Big Tech in general) may be pulling a fast one on us and I might be the only person with nothing left to lose and, as such, am willing rant about how I think my mind is being read.
But they obviously aren’t. There’s no way that is possible. I’m just imagining things. Right, right? Right?
Now, before I continue, let me be clear that I don’t think Tik-Tok can read my mind. But it IS entertaining to think about various aspects of a scenario whereby it is. Also, let me also be clear — the vast majority of how Tik-Tok has me (and everyone else) figured out is using the FYP really is algorithms. They really do have the ability to figure me out using nothing more than algorithms. What I’m going to talk about is those few times when Tik-Tok has pushed me something that is so specific to me that I struggle to understand how it’s possible that nothing more than scanning all my Internet use, etc. would explain things.
Ok. Here’s what I’ve managed to glean from my study of Tik-Tok which is totally not reading my mind.
Tik-Tok gets itself in trouble when it seems to latch on to something that has flashed through my mind for a moment or two with intensity. So, I futz with my headphones, thinking really intensely about my headphones and their different features.
Then, next thing you know, I get pushed a video on Tik-Tok about, you guessed — headphones.
I suppose you could say that in that specific situation Tik-Tok is so deep even into my computer usage that they somehow figured that out. I’ll give you that one.
But, then again, how do you explain the “But I’m A Cheerleader” incident I mentioned a bit ago. That is something was exclusive to my mind. That’s just eerie. And, as I keep saying, I’m totally willing to accept that all of what I’m noticing can be explained via algorithms.
I guess, I’d just like someone with the technological know-how to explain things that are very specific to my mind that Tik-Tok has decided to push me videos about.
Even though I KNOW that Tik-Tok isn’t reading my mind — that’s just crazy talk, right — I continue to be at a loss as to how it figures out the phenotypes of girls I like or even more weird, their personalities.
Then I start to think about if Tik-Tok has even the slightest practical ability to read my mind and use that information to push me information, who else has it and what are they doing with it?
I’ve already had once instance where I fucking swear Tik-Tok pulled a fast on me by nudging me into what it felt was the best “second track” creative option for me — photography. That starts to make you think maybe we’re not just talking about digital telepathy but some combination of digital telepathy hooked up to AI.
That’s enough to make you stop cold in your tracks.
You know if Tik-Tok has such ability then Big Tech in America damn well has similar technology that’s probably far more advanced. Then there’s the NSA and CIA that probably has something far more advanced than even that. I’ve often idly wondered if maybe “Havana Syndrome” is some sort of extreme form of digital telepathy whereby the attack is about “downloading” as much of someone’s mind as possible.
That’s extremely fantastical and bonkers, but, again, I’m just running a scenario.
Anyway. All of this has got to be bullshit. There’s no way the technology exists to read our minds exists. We would know if it existed. Right? Right?
Maybe it’s because it’s a song-and-dance app, but I’ve seen a lot of disco-themed dancing on Tik-Tok of late. I generally fucking hate most disco because I’m more of a dance pop rock person. I like at least a bit of edge to what I listen — or dance — to. I’m well aware of the meta-social-gender aspect of how great and wonderful the Age of Disco was because the patriarchy was slayed and everyone was free to be gay and do coke off a twink’s ass.
Ok, I get it. And that’s a valid argument –I still fucking hate most disco.
I want music that’s got a beat and you can dance to it — but of the pop rock variety. We’ve had almost 20 years of shitty music that inhabits a vague space known as “Adult Contemporary.” It’s bland, corporate and non-threatening. And, yet, oddly enough, in just the last few years, it’s clear that a number of huge artists are hot on the trail of The New Sound.
For instance, Miley Cyrus keeps covering old rock and New Wave chestnuts as if she knows what she wants to sing — but she can’t find it in modern music. Her latest album is soooo close to what I imagine Rona Rock, the New Sound, would be like.
Meanwhile, Olivia Rodrigo is doing something similar. Her debut album has a lot of wink and nod references to New Wave music. And, yet, it’s still a pretty safe album. It’s pretty much just a pop album full of songs that could be safely played next to an Ariana Grande song on existing Top 40 radio.
It’s Chvrches’ “Screen Violence” album that is exactly what I’ve been looking for. It’s an album that is essentially a throwback to the good old days of dance pop rock by way of Chvrches synth stylings.
More of this!
But the point is — all I would need is the first 10 seconds of “How Not To Drown” and I would play it at Nori in Seoul on a Friday night in late 2006. (Another song from that album, “Nightmares” is a banger, too.) And I think if Miley Cyrus and Olivia Rodrigo swerved in that direction with their next albums that it would be a two-fer: old farts like me would love and the youngins who know jackshit about music produced before cellphones would also sit up an take notice.
I’ve stopped thinking Tik-Tok can read my mind. It can’t. But I will note another EXTREMELY SPOOKY co-incidence that took place recently. As part of writing in long-hand scene summaries for the four novels I’m working on, there’s a word (it’s inciting, if you must know) that I write so sloppily that it looks like another word, a word that evokes alarm in my mind.
Tik-Tok is not reading my mind!
Occasionally in the last few months, Tik-Tok has pushed me some very alarming videos purporting from the product of that alarming word. I was aghast that I would be pushed that type of video for any reason and began to question why Tik-Tok’s fucking algorithms would be pushing me such alarming content.
Then it hit me — in my mind, I’m thinking “OH MY GOD…oh, I just wrote inciting…” If you wanted to believe that Tik-Tok had the ability to read my mind, you would say that what was happening was is the reason I was getting such weird videos pushed to me was the alarm in my mind that initial confusion generates within me.
But this is just crazy talk. Tik-Tok can’t read my mind.
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