Like A Bad Penny, Keith Davidson Pops Up Again, This Time In The Cohen Tapes

By Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Let me be clear — just because there may be tapes of Keith Davidson talking to Michael Cohen doesn’t mean Shera Bechard will get roped into any controversy associated with the Cohen Tapes that allegedly exist. From what I gather, the tapes might have Cohen and Davidson talking about the Stormy Daniels situation, not anything to do with Bechard.

Or, put another way, there’s nearly zero possibility that there will, at last, be some big revel that indicates it was Trump, not Broidy who got Shera Bechard pregnant. It’s just not going to happen. We may hear Cohen and Davidson talking about something that could be interpreted as a violation of campaign finance law, but there won’t be any bombshell where they talk about the “truth” of what happened.

We know the actual truth, Elliot Broidy got Shera Bechard pregnant, end of story.

I will go so far as to say, even if there’s a tape of Michael Cohen and Keith Davidson going into explicit detail of how they’re going to pressure Bechard to have an abortion in exchange for $1.6 million, if Broidy’s the father, it will barely make a blip in today’s modern media landscape.

If it’s Trump, Trump’s got an enormous problem on his hands, but it’s not Trump so we’re just going to have to accept we’re ruled by a vile, mad tyrant for the foreseeable future.

‘Owning The Libs’ — #Lyrics To A Rock Song

Just like telling stories in verse. These lyrics are just a rough draft, but it’s relaxing. No one ever listens to me, but I enjoy venting about how shitty Trump and his followers are in verse.

Owning The Libs
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
Please give credit if you produce or perform

blow your hand off with a grin
anything you can do to own the libs
it’s all you want to do

owning the libs
is your goal
owning the libs
is your goal
owning the libs
why do you do this shit

burn the nation to the ground
run around hoping for the end
turn the keys over to the Reds
hoping they’ll get rid of the libs

why are you so sure the libs are bad
do you have any idea how you’ve been had
lies are all around you I’m afraid
your master implants them in your brain

owning the libs
is your goal
owning the libs
is your goal
owning the libs
why do you do this shit

[bridge]
the truth will set you free
that’s the way it’s meant to be
why are you so afraid of the facts
your desire to own the libs
is absolute

owning the libs
is your goal
owning the libs
is your goal
owning the libs
why do you do this shit

‘Carter Page’ — #Lyrics To A Punk Song

I know nothing about music, but this is meant to have a punk beat to it. I’m just writing stories in verse. Someone else will have to do something with them.

Carter Page
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

a FISA warrant was issues for him
but he don’t mind
he’s got a big old grin on his face
we all know he’s an agent of a forign power
but he just wants us to know his name

Carter Page
Carter Page
that’s his name
Carter Page
being an agent
is his claim to fame

don’t you fret
don’t you worry one bit
Carter Page doesn’t give a shit
his shit eating grin is on CNN
it seems like every minute

he knows all the secrets
knows all the lies
one day it’ll all come crashing down
but you’ll know his name
his name is Carter Page

Carter Page
Carter Page
that’s his name
Carter Page
being an agent
is his claim to fame

[bridge]
Carter Page
just wants his moment in the sun
feeling the spotlight on his face
is its lone saving grace

Carter Page
Carter Page
that’s his name
Carter Page
being an agent
is his claim to fame

‘The Legend Of The Swamp Monster’ — #Lyrics To A Country Folk Pop Song

Just trying to tell a story in verse. Don’t know how successful I was. This is meant to be one of those songs that The Charlie Daniels Band you to do that told a story. Don’t know how successful I was.

The Legend Of The Swamp Monster
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

he came to town saying he’d drain the swamp
but I’m here to tell you the truth
he’s a swamp monster that’s for sure

swamp monster what’s your deal
swamp monster why do you act so weird
swamp monster one day you’ll be gone

every morning we awake to tweets
telling us of the deep state
when will it end is all I wanna know

the swamp monster scares the children
makes it so they can’t sleep
’cause they’re thinking of their fate
hope one day things will be better

we’re all just going to have to deal
until the Blue Wave makes the old swamp monster squeal
but if the swam monster has his way
the Russians will return to the scene of the crime

he came to town saying he’d drain the swamp
but I’m here to tell you the truth
he’s a swamp monster that’s for sure

swamp monster what’s your deal
swamp monster why do you act so weird
swamp monster one day you’ll be gone

[bridge]
I believe we’ll be free one day
but what do I know
we’re going to have to make the change
be the power we strive for

he came to town saying he’d drain the swamp
but I’m here to tell you the truth
he’s a swamp monster that’s for sure

swamp monster what’s your deal
swamp monster why do you act so weird
swamp monster one day you’ll be gone

‘Profit’ — #Lyrics To A Folk Rock Song

This is just me screwing around. I feel like writing lyrics, so I’m trying to tell a story in verse. This is supposed to be about Trump making money off of being president.

Profit
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

well the Constitution tells us what to do
but these days it seems we’ve gone stray
people are making profit off of their position

profit from position
profit from position
profit from position
is what you’re doing

the liar in chief wants me to believe
the deep state is out to get him
that they’re making a profit off their clearence

yet we all know he’s full of it
he’s making a killing off his position
all he does is lie, lie, lie

profit from position
profit from position
profit from position
is what you’re doing

[bridge]
we’re all going to be broke
once this is over that’s the truth
but we still have a chance
just fight

when will we get the truth I wanna know
is it so hard to side with the facts
or is everything just a gass

‘Security Clearance’ — #Lyrics To A Pop-Rock Song

This is structured like Radiohead’s Man Of War, so take it for with it is. I just enjoy telling stories in verse, so you get this. It doesn’t mean anything, but it’s fun to do. It’s relaxing.

Security Clearance 
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

tell me your secrets I’m all ears
but that won’t stop me
from my pursuit of the truth
it’s all coming to fruition now

people lie all the time
won’t just tell the truth
but I have the keys to the facts

security clearance
security clearance
security clearance
is what I got
that’s all I need

don’t you worry one bit
I’ll have the facts
before it’s over with

security clearance
security clearance
security clearance
is what I got
that’s all I need

Even More Mulling Shera Bechard In The Context Of The Cohen Tapes

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Don’t get your hopes up, folks. If there are 12 audio recording of Cohen talking to Trump specifically, there is almost zero chance that they talk about Shera Bechard. Now, if there was a tape of Michael Cohen talking to Keith Davidson about Shera Bechard’s abortion that might be news.

But given what I know about what’s going on, that’s not going to happen.

So, I will literally black out in shock if any of those tapes has anything to do with Ms. Bechard.

Move along, nothing to see here.

Pondering The Possibility Of WWII With Trump Attacking Iran & Putin Attacking Ukraine

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I have for a long time said that Trump will wag the dog ASAP in an effort to prevent a “Blue Wave” from happening in the fall. But I always thought it was going to be the DPRK that would be the source of the war that would have people in the States humming Lee Greenwood’s greatest hits on their way to the polls in November.

But from all appearances, if there is going to be a World War III type event any time soon, it’s going to be something like this: while the States is buy attacking Iran, Russian will attack Ukraine. The States will be so busy having a patriotic circle jerk as we invade Iran that we won’t notice the enormous land grab in Ukraine on the part of the Russians.

Now, there are some enormous problems with Trump doing such a thing. It’s very possible that Iran and the DPRK might form some sort of secret Axis against us. They might say, “If we’re going down, we’re going down together.” It would be difficult for the United States to fight a war with both Iran and the DPRK. We’d win, of course, but with significant loss of life. Or, put another way, if Trump really wanted to go after Iran, Iran would have every reason to align itself directly with the DPRK in an effort to wave the States off any decision to attack.

How, exactly, that would go down is anyone’s guess. At this point, I honestly have no idea what is going to happen. But Trump is so batshit insane that it seems as though anything is, in fact, possible.

A Call To Arms, Redux: We Need A Twitter Killer App To Mobilize & Organize The Resistance

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

First, let me stress that I am only idly mentioning this. I have no money, can’t code and don’t want to learn. But eventually, I believe, someone is going to realize that not only does The Resistance need an app, but that same app could help kill Twitter. All you need to do is use the app initially to mobilize and organize The Resistance and then leverage it into an actual Twitter killer.

Among the things I could see this app doing are: 1) helping people register to vote 2) being a one-stop-shop for various GOTV efforts and general mobilization 3) general helping with organization of The Resistance 4) having several urgently needed features that Twitter currently doesn’t have.

If you made the on-boarding of the app really intuitive and made it so people felt connected to The Resistance on a personal, individual level, I think that would be very helpful. It’s just matter of someone doing it. I doubt it would cost all that much to develop to begin with. If you can get $50,000 together to help there being daily protests in front of the White House, you can at least get that much to develop a basic app to help The Resistance.

But, whatever, this is just fun to think about.

‘Tell Me What You Know’ — #Lyrics To A Pop-Rock Song

I felt inspired. I have no beat, just lyrics.

Tell Me What You Know
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

tell me what you know
that’s what I need
tell me what you know
that’s how I’ll deal

you’re running through the streets
gun in hand
screaming at the top of your lungs
as if you have a plan
tell me what you know

I’ll be the first to admit
that you don’t seem to fit
the narrative is out of control
we’re all on a roll

tell me what you know
that’s what I need
tell me what you know
that’s how I’ll deal

[bridge]
we’ll know soon enough
that’s what I know
we’ll all be free of this
ready to roll
ready to roll
ready to roll

tell me what you know
that’s what I need
tell me what you know
that’s how I’ll deal