Daydreaming About A Trip To LA

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve only been to LA once and that was about 20 years ago on my way to South Korea. But, now, just about 20 years later, I find myself pondering a return to LA once I finish my novel.

Now, obviously, instead of one novel, I should have three solid scripts finished before I head to LA. But, lulz, I never do what you’re supposed to and I’m very, very, very delusional. What’s more, it could be years before I can afford to get anywhere near LA and I will be even more fucking old than I already am.

It’s all very depressing.

But if I did go to LA, I would have to figure out where I would stay and for how long. I would also have to figure out how I would get around since I wouldn’t have a car and I wouldn’t feel like renting a car to drive in the horrific LA traffic. That is one reason why I love NYC so much more than LA — you can walk anywhere you need to go in NYC — or take the subway.

Anyway, the reason why LA is so enticing is I know I’m a good schmoozer. I know that, through sheer force of will, it’s at least possible that I might be able to talk my way into a cocktail party and have a loud, interesting conversation that catches the attention of some mover and shaker.

Again, did I mention how delusional I am?

And, like I said, this is all potentially years in the future. And a lot could happen in just the next 18 months that will….uhhh…complicate any such plans. It’s difficult to travel anyway, much less LA if the United States is bombing itself to rubble because of a revolution / civil war.

And if we turn into an autocracy, I could be dying in a Trump-branded concentration camp, rather than looking for opportunity in LA.

My Obsession With My Webstats Is Why I’m A Big Old Loser


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have always been obsessed with Webstats. I can remember 20 odd years ago, obsessing about the same damn thing I obsess about now — who is looking at what I write online.

I have no idea why they are looking at my writing. And I have no idea who, specifically, is looking at my writing. But I can get a sense of how interesting the person is from their domain name.

For instance — if someone is from Montana, they’re probably a very powerful, or wealthy or famous person. Lots of the Uber-Rich have vast estates in ND, SD and MT. Also, if I get a ping from Seychelle Islands, I know that person is probably extremely wealthy, powerful, or both.

The weirdest pings come from people who have taken the trouble to hide even their URL or what they’re looking at. While VPN’s are growing in popularity, oftentimes if I can’t see someone’s domain name they specifically don’t me — or someone like me — to do the exact thing I am doing: trying to figure out why they are looking at such a low-traffic website.

Today I got two people using Google Proxy in the US in my Webstats. I wonder who they are.