Tag: literary agents

Pondering The Querying Process

Contemplating The Looming Querying Process

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

While I still have the entire second half of the latest iteration of the third draft to make a pass through, it is beginning to sink in that I’ve just about entered the post-production part of my journey towards publication.

The fact that many, many, many people languish in the querying process for years and years gives me pause for thought. I’m not getting any younger and it could be that either I drop dead before I get published or I’m so old that it’s just kind of poignant and sad. I keep searching my mind for ways I could potentially make the novel better. But at this point, the issue is simply rewriting scenes that maybe haven’t been updated in ages.

At the forefront of my mind is how “spicy” the novel is. This element of the novel comes about in large part because of one plot point — my heroine is a partime sex worker (stripper) during course of the novel. She owns a strip club and on someting of a lark, decides to go back to stripping for the holidays.

I hope that I have written a novel that is as popular and an accessible as Stieg Larsson’s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

This really helps the novel be better — at least in my opinion — because it makes it edgy, and interesting in an unexpected way. I’ve never seen stripping depicted in the way I do in popular fiction.

But.

There is a problem of the “woke cancel culture mob” that hates heterosexual sex (apparently) and hates CIS white men doing anything — especially writing from a female POV. (I’m being rather droll in even mentioning this.) There are no easy solutions to this particular problem — I have realized what my vision is for this novel is and that’s what I’m going with.

It doesn’t help — I say this with a wink — that many literary agents are white liberal women. I have nothing against white liberal women, I just think the phrase is amusing and I can’t help myself and bring it up a lot as something of a running gag. (Of course, my use of the term isn’t going to help me any when literary agents start to do due diligence on me.)

What I need is an honest third party evaluation of the novel to get some sense of how the sex worker angle of the novel will play with an audience. I have no friends and no one likes me, so my ability to get that kind of input is limited or nonexistent — at least for free.

All my regular readers know me personally. I need someone who reads a lot who is willing to be firm — but fair — about what I’ve come up with. I suppose what I’m saying is I need a manuscript editor of some sort. But those don’t come cheap.

But I even I have to admit that I’ve pretty much reached the goal I started towards several years ago — writing a novel that doesn’t embarrass me. What happens next is anyone’s guess.

These Novel Writing Projects Are Existential

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It is becoming more and more clear to me that I could be nearly 60 years old before I become a published author — if that even ever happens. What’s more, it’s also clear that there is a pretty good chance that if the Petite Singularity doesn’t make all my hard work moot, that some sort of severe political crisis starting in late 2024, early 2025 might just do the trick.

My dream is that my “passion project” main novel is as accessible and popular as Stieg Larsson’s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

And, yet, here I am determined to keep going with two different novels that I’m working on.

The key thing is that I manage my expectations. I’ve decided on an existential basis that I’m willing to use what little time I have left on this planet to at least TRY to become a published author, problems and obstacles be damned. I have a huge chip on my shoulder about my writing ability and I want to the validation of getting the approval of literary gatekeepers.

Having said all that, I am really working on my backup scifi novel. The main novel, the “passion project” has problems because its heroine is a part time stripper at club that she owns. I am WELL AWARE of how problematic this may be to younger people — especially women — but I really like how unique and unexpected this part of my heroine’s personality is and so, lulz, fuck it.

Meanwhile, the backup scifi novel is built from the ground up to be as marketable as possible. That’s the goal, at least.

In an ideal world, one of the two novels will sell and I could use the popularity of one novel to get the other novel published. But I have my doubts about if such a cross-pollination of success is possible, given that the two novels are of such different genres.

Anyway. I am pleased with what I’ve come up with and the goal is to wrap up a final third draft of the “passion project” novel no later that around July 22.

Video: Idle Rambling About The State Of The Third Draft Of My First Novel

Pondering The Querying Process For My First Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

There are some basic things I just don’t know about my novel yet, one of them being how long it is. The metric I use for the length of the novel is scenes, rather than word count, so it’s not until the very end of the process that I really know how long the novel is.

The heroine of my novel has a sleeve tattoo similar to the one Megan Fox now sports, even though I thought of it first.

The last time I did this, with the Beta Draft, I undershot my goal of 100,000 words by 20,000 words. Now, however, I have a pretty good sense that once the entire process is complete and I have a Beta Draft of the Third Draft of the novel that I’m going to come in closer to about 140,000 words, which is way, way too long.

But I don’t know yet. It’s possible that I will totally misjudge things again and the story will be closer to 100,000 words, which would be great! I just don’t know right now. I probably should think about adding up my words now as I approach wrapping up alpha release of the third draft, but I don’t wanna.

One thing I’m really concerned about is how the “woke cancel culture mob” is going to react to some of the elements of this novel. I mean, I am a smelly CIS white male writing about a same-sex relationship between two women and that’s just not supposed to happen. And my heroine occasionally strips, which is also going to freak them out.

Corrie Yee has the phenotype of my heroine.

I am well aware that “the demographics aren’t on my side,” as someone recently told me. But, lulz, so what. I know I have a great story on my hands and it’s just a matter of finishing it as soon as possible.

It definitely will be interesting to see if the liberal white women who make up most the vast majority of literary agents will blanch at all of this non-woke behavior on my part in my writing. But I can’t help what I’ve gotten myself into at this point.

I do, however, have a scifi novel rolling around in my mind. It would be one that better fits the expectations of the modern fiction world.

Of course, all of this is happening the context of the rise of AI and the potential Fourth Turning. So, I dunno. Wish me luck, I guess?

Should I Be Worried?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Someone from Sweden is interested in my novel — I see them in my Webstats. Now, only because I’m delusional, I automatically fear it’s someone from the estate of Stieg Larsson checking up on me. As far as I know, even though my novel is definitely an obvious homage to Larsson’s work there’s no reason for either one of us to be worried about it.

The heroine of my novel looks like Morena Baccarin.

There are some obvious, clear cut influences between my novel and The Girl Who Played With Fire, but most, if not all, of it is an issue of Form Follows Function and the fact that I used TGWPWF as my “textbook.”

I just am worried that people connected to the late Larsson see me as some sort of threat — but why? — and they’re keeping an eye on me.

My heroine sports a sleeve tattoo similar to that now worn by Megan Fox — even though I thought of the idea first!

Anyway, my novel is on a micro basis is very, very, very different than anything Larsson wrote. And the first novel isn’t even a mystery thriller, but rather about a power struggle over a community newspaper. So, lulz?

But I am VERY PLEASED with what I’ve managed to come up with for my first novel. Things are flowing really well now that I understand what the novel is about. It’s not a traditional murder-mystery, but, rather a character-driven novel that sets up a universe that I hope readers will want to hang out in for a number of novels — as many as seven.

I’m At A Loss As To What I’m Going To Do About Querying My First Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m well on my way to finishing the third draft of my first novel. The novel will tell a coherent, cohesive story. It’s not the story I thought I was going to tell when I started this process a few years ago — but it tells a story. And, what’s more, it ques up a number of successor novels in the same universe that will be really compelling.

The heroine of my novel looks like Morena Baccarin.

At least, that’s what I believe.

I am soon going to wrap up the “actively delusional” part of this journey and enter the world of reality where I have to convince liberal white women who make up the majority of literary agents that I can tell a good story about a part-time sex worker who is trying to buy a community newspaper.

At least I can explain the story a lot easier than before. It used to be that the story was a lot more muddled and difficult to explain. Now, I understand what the story is about.

But there are A LOT of problems.

Like, what novel do I “comp” this novel to? What genre is this novel, since the murder doesn’t happen until well into the second half of the story. I just don’t know. And, when you add how bitter people seem to become whenever they enter into the land of querying, well, lulz, oh boy.

My heroine sports a sleeve tattoo similar to the one that Megan Fox now has, even though I came up with the idea first.

I’m going to have to shift gears bigtime once I finish the novel and start to query seriously. So much so, that I don’t even know if I can continue to write, even though I know I have to. Querying is a job and struggle unto itself, it seems.

But I do have a number of other stories I want to work on while I query the first novel. And I hope to have the second novel in the series I’m working on — one that is a traditional murder-mystery-thriller done pretty soon as well. It will have most of all of the same characters as the first novel and a few new ones.

It will definitely be interesting to see how things work out. I’m sure I’m going to make many, many, many, many mistakes and probably have already made a lot by just being me.

I’m Nervous The Liberal White Women That Make Up A Big Chunk Of Literary Agents Will Not Like What They Find When They Do Due Diligence On Me

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Oh boy. I can’t change who I am. I can’t change what I’ve done — or not done — with my life over the years. I’ve always been a kook. I’ve always been a late bloomer.

So, there’s every reason to believe that if literary agents — many of whom will be liberal white women — can get past my age and dissipated life, that they may not be thrilled at what a kook I’ve been my entire life.

I’ve already had a problem with some snooty literary types not being willing to work with me because…I don’t honestly know. They’re snobs? They’re arrogant? But the key issue is I have to stop being so delusional. The moment I start to query my first two novels (if I can finish them both by July 22 like I hope) I have to leave delusion behind.

I have to start to deal with the cold hard facts of life.

I’m a middle aged man who can tell a good story. But that, alas, is all I got. I’m broke. I’m a smelly CIS white male. As one person told me recently, “the demographics aren’t on your side.” Ugh.

But I refuse to give up. I am going to keep going forward. I’ve decided to give myself five years from the moment I start querying before I will “give up” and self-publish.

By that point, if I’m not a published author — or close to being one — I will be about 56 and I might as well just self-publish to get it out of my system. And, yet, I’m not so sure I’ll actually do that. I have a huge fucking chip on my shoulder and I want the validation of getting past the gatekeepers so I can rub it in the face of people who have told me my writing sucks my entire life.

Fuck those people. I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and I *can* get published traditionally.

Am Querying (Eventually): Not Dead Yet

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Sometimes, I feel like I should just lie in my bed, twiddle my thumbs and wait to die. I’m old and I’ve wasted way too much of my life grieving over a dumb zine in Seoul. But every time I get into this mood, I immediately think, “Well, once more unto the breach.”

I hope that the heroine I’ve come up with is as interesting as Lisbeth Salander.

It’s just not my nature to give up, even though that’s exactly what I should probably do — give the fuck up.

So, I’m going to keep going with this novel as well as a back up novel. All I can say in my defense is I’m an eccentric and, as such, I willing to throw myself into something which objectively will never happen successfully — querying my first novel.

But I just refuse to self-publish, no matter what. I would rather fail on a spectacular level than self-publish because to me self-publishing is a huge co-out. I need and crave the validation of a third party — in this case a literary agent — so I can turn to people who have told me I suck as a writer all these years.

I can turn to them and tell them to fuck off.

I can prove them wrong.

So, I keep moving forward.

Uh Oh

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, I was in Richmond yesterday, finding random people to hand out a draft of the first three chapters of the novel to when something happened that stopped me cold. I told a young woman who was obviously a liberal white woman the more “edgy” elements of the novel — that my heroine owned a strip club — and she immediately shut down.

This does not bode well for how the liberal white women that I imagine make up the majority of literary agents will respond to that same “edgy” part of the story. I was talking to the young woman in question, having a friendly conversation about the novel, but the moment I told her about the strip club part of the story — she shut down and wandered off.

My reaction to this is multifold.

On one hand, it definitely is a tap on the shoulder to have a back up plan of some sort. I really need to work on a back up novel. I have three solid scifi concepts I can work on.

The heroine of my novel, in my imagination, looks a lot like Corrie Yee.

My other reaction is, fuck it, we’ll do it live. If “Barry” can be produced to success, then my weird little story can potentially be a success, too. I just have to buckle down and get this thing done.

I continue to be concerned about word count, however. I really need to be prepared for the novel to be in the 140,000 – 160,000 range which is just way too fucking long. That gives me another reason to pause and work on a backup plan