NARAlago Conspiracy Theories: What’s Buried With Ivana Trump?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I just do not believe in conspiracy theories. They’re just not my thing. I generally believe that most real conspiracies are already known or they’re just a bunch of bullshit in the form of being the last refuge of the intellectually dishonest. But, just for the sake of argument, let’s think about some of the NARAlago conspiracies theories that have sprung up since the FBI snatched back a bunch of Top Secret files that Trump stole.

The first issue to remember is, of course, that Trump is above the law and there’s just no law he can possibly break at this point that would see him in front of a judge. Any damage he might suffer is going to be political in nature and even then, it will be on the edges. The number of people who have any sort of open mind about Trump at this point is so low as to be negligible.

Trump being a lecherous lying racist traitor is so baked into the cake that, lulz, he’s probably going to become president again — even without cheating. Though, of course, he will anyway because it’s his nature.

So, with that in mind, let’s go through some conspiracy theories.

Trump used the LIV golf tournament as a cover to give the Saudi’s secrets
At least there is some logic to this one. It seems within reason that there were a number of quid pro quos between Team Trump and the Saudis such that they might somehow get access to American secrets via Trump. Not only did Jared get $2 billion from the Saudis, Trump also held the very controversial LIV golf tournament at Bedminster. This grows in importance now that we know the FBI has been asking people if they know anything about Trump…having Top Secret documents at Bedminster. So we have a situation where Trump has the means, motive and opportunity to sell American secrets to the Saudis. And, yet, time and again, Trump has been proven to be craven…but very, very lazy and dumb. So while it’s definitely POSSIBLE this type of skullduggery might have happened….I dunno. Trump can’t keep a secret. He would somehow blab about what a great deal he made with the Saudis before it was over with. But remember — some of the Top Secret documents Trump had were devoted to another nation’s nuclear arms program. I’m sure the Saudis would be interested in what America knows of the Israelis ‘ secret nuclear bomb program.

Trump buried his ex-wife with Top Secrets
This one doesn’t make any sense. Just because it’s weird that Trump buried Ivana Trump on a golf course, doesn’t mean he’s up to no good. The man is very, very strange and completely devoid of any empathy. And why would he bury Top Secrets in a grave? Why hide them there? The reason why he’s in trouble is his complete indifference to keeping Top Secret documents, well, safe. So…no. I would have have some sort of evidence to believe Trump buried Ivana with secrets.

My Hot Take On The NARALago Photo

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Team Trump is caterwauling about a photo taken of Top Secret documents at Mar-a-Lago by the FBI. The reason is, of course, is it really hits home what was going on. And given that how much MAGA is freaking out about the picture, it’s obvious that MAGA “thought leaders” feel the photo is hurting them politically.

The big issue that they have with the photo is that is makes like they discovered the documents that way. But, if you look carefully at the photo, the box that the documents (not in this photo, but in another photo) were being stored is right there. So, the real reason why MAGA is freaking out is the photo tells the story of what was going on.

It’s a simple to understand of element of an abstract scandal. Which is exactly why MAGA hates it so much. And given the how potent the picture has been, I think maybe Trump shouldn’t release the CCTV footage of the FBI raid. That would, too, give the average person some sense, in concrete terms, the scope of what was going on at Mar-a-Lago.

Anyway, I think we need to accept that Trump continues to be above the law and he is bending both our political and criminal systems. And there comes a point when we have to put up or shut up about the existential crisis we face of autocracy or civil war.

We’re in the danger zone. We’re past the event horizon for some pretty fucked up things happening in the United States one way or another.