Month: May 2018

‘The Long Con:’ #Lyrics To A Woke Pop Rock Song

This just me screwing around, trying to tell a story in verse. That’s all. Nothing more. I just find writing lyrics relaxing even if no one cares that I’m writing them. These lyrics are about how Trump supporters have been duped by the long con of Trump.

The Long Con
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

he comes in on a horse
telling them what they want to know
they flock to his side
they don’t care what he has to say
as long as he makes them feel great

the long con is the term
it’s enough to make them squirm
the long con is the phrase
that explains, explains, explains

we’re all having a fright
from which they get great delight
knowing they own the night
they have control of the nation
so they allow him to abuse his station

the long con is the term
it’s enough to make them squirm
the long con is the phrase
that explains, explains, explains

[bridge]
in the end
they’ll regreat
what they’ve done
don’t you fret

for the time being
we have to wait
for them to catch up with fate
will it ever happen
that’s the question
we’re just going to have to see
which way goes the breeze

‘Melania:’ #Lyrics To A Woke Pop Rock Song

I am very ambivalent about Melania Trump. She kinda got herself into this situation and so I can only be so sympathetic to her plight. But I’m feeling inspired, so here are some lyrics about her to the general beat of Elvis Costello’s “Veronica.” I only listen to the song to get some sort of beat going on in my head. If someone were to actually do something with these lyrics, they might be able to find a different beat. This is just a ham handed first draft.

Melania
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

she’s got the world under her thumb
but she’s not dumb
her man is a con and she knows
she may be complicit in his deeds
yet she tries her best

Melania
hiding behind your hats
Melania
we all know where your mind is at
Melania

so when will the truth come out
when will things burst into the light
are you ever going to leave Don
be the hero we know you can be
when, honey, are you going to flee

Melania
hiding behind your hats
Melania
we all know where your mind is at
Melania

[bridge]
we’re no fools
we know you can stand his drool
but you’ve made your bed
and now you lie within in
crying yourself to sleep

we’re all now wondering how it ends
when are you going to get tired of the sin
the lies and the saddness
but it won’t end any time soon
that wouldn’t make any sense
we sigh

2022: The Year Of Peak Trump: We’re In For An “Extreme” Iran-Contra Endgame

by Shelton bumgarner
@bumgarls

It seems to me that we’re in for an “extreme” version of Iran-contra. What’s going to happen is everyone will know Trump should be impeached and convicted for this or that scandal, but nothing will happen because the base of the Republican Party loves him so much.

I fear that about 2022, Trump will do something so extreme, so insane that he will force all of us as Americans to debate what exactly it all means. The only way I could see maybe this not being the case is if the economy were to start to have trouble. Otherwise, though, Trump is going to be fine no matter what he does.

And that’s just sad.

Idle Rambling About A ‘Twitter Killer’ From A #UX #UI Standpoint

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Below are some examples of later stage Usenet readers that inspire my vision for a Twitter “killer.” It just makes too much sense. If you used these Usenet clients’ designs as a stepping off point for a Website, I think you could actually get some traction. As you can tell, they don’t look anything like Reddit and I think if you gave it some thought, you could do something really cool.

As you can tell, there’s a lot you could use. If you updated this client design into something that was UX of a Website designed to “kill” Twitter and disrupt the online content distribution industry, I think something really cool could happen.

But as I keep saying, I have no money, can’t code and don’t want to learn.


‘Crossfire Hurricane:’ #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Country Song

In honor of the beautiful and talented Kacey Musgraves, here is my attempt at talking about Trump collusion with the Russians. It’s hopefully garbled enough that someone, somewhere might find it at least interesting. Enjoy.

Crossfire Hurricane
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

you and your plausible bullshit
think you can get away with it
you drink white Russians with abandon
have them visit you in your home
when you’re not alone boning storms

crossfire hurricane
that’s the life you live
crossfire hurricane
when are you going to give it up

they say where there’s smoke there’s fire
you live your life without a care
you’d trash the nation for a buck
but you’re not nearly as tough as you think
when the truth comes out your lies will end

crossfire hurricane
that’s the life you live
crossfire hurricane
when are you going to give it up

[bridge]
when all comes to light
you’re going to serve things out right
the bars will be cold
just like your soul

we’re all just waiting for the day
when this will have passed away
but nothing will change until we fight for it
this storm is only the beginning
we’re begging for some winning

‘Trump Tower:’ #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Rock-Rap Song

I make no claims to be as good writer as Kanye West or Donald Glover, but I am at least inspired to write lyrics about the dumb shenanigans that took place in Trump Tower. As always, this is just me enjoying writing for fun. This is just a ham-handed first draft. The beat would be fast like West’s “Monster.”

Trump Tower
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

living on the 66th floor
life is such a bore
living on the 66th floor

the Russians are in the tower
looking for weakness in the wall
they have the gall to try to explain it away
say something lame, lame, lame
but we all know that Trump knows
he’s selling the country out without a doubt
the leaks are all about making me want to shout
the people are on their way to claim the 66th floor
with a roar

you’ll be able to hear
all the way on the 66th floor
the roar of the people down below
the roar of the people down below

you’ll look down from your redoubt
wondering what all the fuss is about
why are the people so upset
Trump Tower is the center of the traitorous action
you’re catching flack for the attack on our democracy
but there’s nothing much we can do
rush the door of Trump Tower with a roar
but how far we’re going to get
is anyone’s bet

I wish we could burn FOX News to the ground
America would be better for it
but there’s no doubt it’d spring back up
to spread its lies yet again
I wish there was a simple cure
maybe if we rush the tower

you’ll be able to hear
all the way on the 66th floor
the roar of the people down below
the roar of the people down below

[bridge]
there’s nothing more to say
they tell us to just enjoy the humming economy
sit back and get laid
you’ll enjoy it too

but I beg to disagree
party over country is no way to go
this isn’t Vichy France
I’m tired of the easy questions lobbed
I want to cut this boil with a lance
I hope it doesn’t come to a rush on the door
but if it does

you’ll be able to hear
all the way on the 66th floor
the roar of the people down below
the roar of the people down below

Thinking About Applying For A Job At Crooked Media

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I’m really old to do this, but I need a new job desperately and for the time being a part-time job would do perfectly, so I’m going to at least attempt to apply for a job at Crooked Media. But we’ll see. It’s more about me needing to just psych myself up for looking for a job more than anything else.

‘Mercenary’: #Lyrics To A Woke Pop-Rock Song

Now, let me again be clear — I only write lyrics because I like telling stories in verse. And rather than writing a poem, I feel like at least attempting to use the structure of song lyrics. Anyway, these lyrics are told from the point of view of a woman who lives in that murky gray area between high-class call girl and someone who just has a lot of sugar daddies. There are some pointed allusions that one might draw some conclusions from. But all of this means nothing. No one cares and I’m just relaxing. As always, this is just a crude first draft. I know nothing about music so take that into consideration. The beat for this would be really fast and pop rock like Womanizer.

Mercenary
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

all the boys see walking down the street
but I only care about those who make ends meet
if you want to make me miss a beat
you’re going to have to do more than beat your meat
I’m the kind of gal who will blow your mind
but you’ve got to have the cash to get this piece of ass

they call me a mercenary
a fucking mercenary
they call me a mercenary
a fucking mercenary

I’ve had all the men I want and more
had a few take the fall for me
just so they can get access to power
but I’m not wilting flower
I didn’t fall for Don the Con
I squeezed him for what he was worth
’cause I’m the one who has all the dirt

they call me a mercenary
a fucking mercenary
they call me a mercenary
a fucking mercenary

[bridge]
we’re all the same
we all feel the same pain
but I’m the one with the fame
want to know more
I can’t explain

don’t call me a victim
I’m far from it
I’m a stunner waiting for my next pray
whomever is willing to pay, pay, pay
is the one who’ll make my day

they call me a mercenary
a fucking mercenary
they call me a mercenary
a fucking mercenary

V-Log: Remembering Seoul’s Johnny Red

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

So Johnny Red died. I talk for about 10 minutes about him and associated things in this v-log. Red was an influential player in the Seoul expat scene and he definitely had an influence on my life.

V-Log: Of Celebrity Crushes — The Web Is No Fun Anymore, Redux

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I feel like making a point, and that point is — you simply can’t talk about any celebrity online without them automatically assuming you’re kind of some sort of freaky stalker weirdo. If I did it, it would be only out of pique. I just hate the idea that you can no longer just have a celebrity crush anymore.