Month: June 2018

‘Never Trend’ — #Lyrics To A Dance Pop Song

I have no beat, but in my imagination this would be a dance pop song where you clearly heard the lyrics.

Never Trend
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

never trend
in the end my friend
let me tell you
never trend
never trend
never trend

so you want to be famous
you say yes
scream and shout that’s
what it’s all about
want to see your name in lights
people know your name
but that’s a shame ’cause

never trend
in the end my friend
let me tell you
never trend
never trend
never trend

people spend all their lives
fighting for a chance at spotlight
starlight on their face is all they want
right now they cry
they live in anticipation
there wish will come true
but what can you do
’cause you’ll rue the day
you trend I’m afraid

never trend
in the end my friend
let me tell you
never trend
never trend
never trend

[bridge]
the Twitter box
is full of glitter
tweeting away with the deets
but you’ll regret it in thend
when you trend

but don’t listen to me
you’ll love it I bet when
everything comes crashing down
the moment you trend
and you’re on the run

never trend
in the end my friend
let me tell you
never trend
never trend
never trend

V-Log: Weighing Ilana Glazer & Phoebe Waller-Bridge As The Next Bond Girl

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Just some idle rambling.

V-Log: Some Thoughts On Brooklyn

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Idle rambling about Brooklyn compared to Haebangchon in Seoul.

‘Married To Myself’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Song About Julia Allison

Julia Allison famously married herself at Burning Man one year. No one reads this blog and no definitely no one will ever produce any of my lyrics, but it’s relaxing to tell a story in verse.

Married To Myself
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

fires of Burning Man
shine off my eyes
’cause I’m married to myself
can’t find a man for my life
so I ditched them all
to be very alone
I’m married to myself

the cold streets of New York City
burn my soles as I walk with my bride
the world revolves around me
the sun won’t set unless I’m undressed
I get no rest making clocks run
’cause I’m married to myself

married to myself
don’t you fret
get all the sex I need
married to myself
married to myself

what more can a girl expect
being married to herself
we’re all alone in this world
except for me baby
’cause I’m married to myself

just let me wear white
’cause I’m out of sight
you can joke all you like
I’m a wonderful wife
’cause I’m married to myself

married to myself
don’t you fret
get all the sex I need
married to myself
married to myself

[bridge]
how it’d be great
to find a date
but I spend all my time
alone in my mind
married to myself

boys may catch my eyes
make me quiver with delight
but late at night when I’m with my bride
I just sigh
married to myself
married to myself
married to myself

Watch Me Be A Hater

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I am not, by nature a hater. I am of an age that I have a very live-and-let-live worldview. But, occasionally, I can’t help myself. It doesn’t happen very often, but sometimes it just pops out and even I don’t understand why. When I was much younger and before my involvement in ROKon Magazine gave me a brain transplant, I kind of hated on Jennifer 8. Lee, only to eventually meet her in Seoul.

Go figure.

But let me take a moment to hate on Eve Peyser. I only hate on Peyser because she’s a young, smart, attractive woman working at a reasonably good media outlet writing about politics…and….nothing. She’s not doing anything of note that I can think of besides using Instagram Stories a lot and randomly doing scratch-offs for 69 days in a row. Is that envy? Do I hate on her because she’s got a plumb job that I think I could do better or what?

She has such an acerbic wit that I’m sure she could put me in my place if she saw me hating on her. In the interests of full disclosure, I have written song lyrics about her in the past for no other reason than I was bored and she’s interesting. But that’s it.

I say we all go back to hating on Julia Allison.

Talk To Me Internet: I Thought America Was Different

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Stick a fork in us, folks. We’re done.

V-Log: A Brief Chat About Julia Allison & Snark

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

This is an interesting chat.

‘Alternative Theories’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Ballad

This one is pretty good. Enjoy

Alternative Theories
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

don’t know what I know
’cause you tell me it’s so
you let me down nice
tell me to sit tight
the truth will come out
I’ll know without doubt

we looked into it
and it just ain’t so

alternative theories
alternative theories
alternative theories

now don’t be sad
you’ve just been had
we’re glad you contact us
took you serious we swear
but it’s all in your head

we looked into it
and it just ain’t so

alternative theories
alternative theories
alternative theories

[bridge]
we might have found the truth
but you’ll be in dark to boot
won’t hurt you one bit
we promise we don’t think you’re shit

now just you scoot
go back to the dirt
regret won’t hurt one bit
we’re read all over
you’re just a jerk

Movie Concept: ‘Dead Presidents’

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

If you really wanted to get extremely bonkers with a movie concept, I got one for you.

It’s the near future and everything has gone to hell in a handbasket. We learn a super secret government agency has managed to clone several presidents — Washington, Lincoln, FDR, maybe even Kennedy. Anyway, they’re young men now and they live relatively anonymous lives. But they abruptly get a call from the Deep State — they have a secret mission for them.

What that mission might be, I’ll leave to your imagination.

🙂