by Shelt Garner
I find myself wondering if this novel is simply me having a mid-life crisis. I’m too poor to buy a vett, so I’m writing a novel instead? This reminds me of this guy I once knew who was about my age now when he wrote a Wonder Woman screenplay — and got the hair on his back removed.
He swore to me that a Hollywood producer had his screenplay on his desk and was going to produce it at any moment. I fear the movie that was ultimately produced was NOT done off that guy’s script.
I have repeatedly said I’m allowing myself to be completely delusional with this novel, at least for the time being. So, while in a sense this novel may be my mid-life crisis, I feel I do, in fact, have the actual ability to tell a decent story as well.
I’m well aware that should I somehow win the showbiz lottery and actually write a breakout first novel, that my age will be a part of the story. It will be the angle that people use to talk about it. In general, if you don’t have a career in showbiz by the time you’re in your early 30s, then, lulz, your age becomes part of any success you have.
And I should I attain any type of success via this novel, or, say, a screenplay I might write afterwards, it’s not like all my dreams will come true and all my problems will be solved. Showbiz is tough for even people who do it the “right” way and I have a feeling I’m going to be quite let down should I actually sell this novel.
Yes, I might stop being a pauper, but it’s not like I can go back in time and be 25 again. I’m going to be middle-aged and have the experience that such an age brings with it. In a sense, given how much of my personal history I’m throwing into this novel, I guess maybe on some level I think I can regain my lost youth via it as well.
Sadly, that is not going to happen.
But all of that is really me just being extremely delusional. I’m probably just going to self-publish the two novels of the story in the end and turn my attention to a screenplay.