by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
I only write this because I’m listening to Tay-Tay this afternoon and I’m growing very fucking frustrated. Tay-Tay is pop music’s Trump when it comes to sucking up to the base. Her lyrics, however well written, are like Fat Monica saying “your softness” when trying to talk dirty.
I know I’m never going to get a Tay-Tay cover of WAP, but she’s a grown woman. She’s had sex, right? Why not, I don’t know, have a one night stand with Miley Cyrus to get some inspiration. Something, anything, to spice up her music.
She’s going to be the Bob Hope of pop music the way things are going. She’s just…warm milk on a creative level. She’s comfort food for women who are going to grow up to have a lot of cats, drink a lot of wine and think COVID19 can be cure with essential oils.
It’s all very frustrating.
But, I’m well aware that I’m not her audience at this point. And, yet, the case could be made that with Olivia Rodrigo coming on strong from behind being, like a normal human being — even at 18 — that there may come a point when Tay-Tay beings to feel a bit more frisky than she does at the moment.
Then she’ll be too old and no one will care.
And, yet, she’s very successful and will probably have a 30 year career. I’m — at the moment — just an anonymous loser in the middle of nowhere.
Lulz.
