Querying My First Novel Will Be Brutal

by Shelt Garner

Tomorrow, the day after my birthday, is kind of my January 1st. I have vowed to myself that this will mark a new era in my life where not only do I lay of drinking so much, but I also really buckle down with the novel.

I’m watching House of Cards a decade after everyone else.

I have something of an idyllic situation on my hands when it comes to developing and writing a novel and it could change literally at any moment. Then I’m going to look back at this moment in my life and be smarting that I didn’t take more advantage of it when I had the opportunity.

And, yet, having said all that, I know, just know, that once I transition from the delusional la-la land of developing and writing a novel into the cold, hard reality of querying that I have to prepare myself for A LOT of disappointment. I’m already preparing myself to piviot to a few scifi concepts while I query.

The biggest problem I can sense about this novel is it’s just not dark enough. Not enough fucked up, twisted things happen. But, having said that, I have come up with more than one reason for people to keep reading during the really long first act — there’s intrigue and lots of sex — some of it kinky, if consensual.

My heroine has a sleeve tattoo similar to this one on Megan Fox, even though I thought of the idea before I saw this.

I like the idea of talking about kinkier sex in a mater-of-fact, consensual way, even though it’s easy for it to be all rather funny. But, I can’t help myself. That’s just my nature — to be kind of droll instead of dark, twisted and scary.

Author: Shelton Bumgarner

I am the Editor & Publisher of The Trumplandia Report

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