Category: From The Editor

V-Log: A Brief Chat About Julia Allison & Snark

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

This is an interesting chat.

‘Alternative Theories’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Ballad

This one is pretty good. Enjoy

Alternative Theories
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

don’t know what I know
’cause you tell me it’s so
you let me down nice
tell me to sit tight
the truth will come out
I’ll know without doubt

we looked into it
and it just ain’t so

alternative theories
alternative theories
alternative theories

now don’t be sad
you’ve just been had
we’re glad you contact us
took you serious we swear
but it’s all in your head

we looked into it
and it just ain’t so

alternative theories
alternative theories
alternative theories

[bridge]
we might have found the truth
but you’ll be in dark to boot
won’t hurt you one bit
we promise we don’t think you’re shit

now just you scoot
go back to the dirt
regret won’t hurt one bit
we’re read all over
you’re just a jerk

Movie Concept: ‘Dead Presidents’

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

If you really wanted to get extremely bonkers with a movie concept, I got one for you.

It’s the near future and everything has gone to hell in a handbasket. We learn a super secret government agency has managed to clone several presidents — Washington, Lincoln, FDR, maybe even Kennedy. Anyway, they’re young men now and they live relatively anonymous lives. But they abruptly get a call from the Deep State — they have a secret mission for them.

What that mission might be, I’ll leave to your imagination.

🙂

Someone Check On Taylor Swift, Something Weird Is Going On

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I’m not breaking any new ground here and really this just me idly rambling for no other reason than I have nothing to write about, but I’m watching a lot of Taylor Swift videos these days and something is really fucked up about that girl. Take the video for “Delicate.”

She gets to fulfill her wish of being invisible. If she got to be invisible for a moment what would she do? Bounce around dancing weird. Add to this that she has the worst luck with guys and it makes you wonder. She’s a gorgeous woman at the height of her creative powers and all she wants to do is be invisible.

Artists are notorious for psychologically streaking in the most conspicuous manner possible. Michael Jackson is a prime example of this. Prince also on occasion would do something weird that would make you think. But Ms. Swift seems like the only thing stopping her from going the full Britney Spears 2007 is her mental and emotional bolts are significantly tighter.

Meh.

Movie Concept: ‘Afterglow’

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I’m a concept guy. I have a real problem with plots. I can think up the scenario, but when it comes to populating them and having characters bang up against each other, I got nothing.

One concept that’s stuck with me for years now is something called “Afterglow.” In this movie, we see the life of a couple, maybe, through a series of vignette that open and close with that short moment of afterglow after sex. It would kind of 500 Days of Summer meets 13 Conversations About One Thing.

You could get kind of dark with this concept, or you could keep it wistful like The Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. Anyway. No one listens to me anyway.

Dreaming

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Last night I had a dream I was suddenly famous and a famous person was mad at me for some reason.

Now, since no one reads this blog besides the odd person here or there who either knows me or is interested in my crackpot life, I feel comfortable idly remembering something of note. Right before I went to Korea, I had a dream that I hung out with Rudy in New York City. It was weird. It was a weird feeling of thinking something was so absolutely true, only to wake up and discover I was living my usual crappy life.

It doesn’t mean anything. Just a stray dream.

How Much Do You Trust The New York Times

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I love the New York Times.

It’s a great paper with a great tradition of quality journalism. When The Times tells me something, I believe it. No questions asked.

I do wonder, however, what their policies are on extreme cases. But why am I even thinking about this. If the New York Times tells you something, it’s right. That’s what I have to believe. I was told by the New York Times that the sky was blue and it’s blue. Doesn’t matter that I know damn well it’s sunset and it’s got a orange hue to it.

The New York Times knows what it’s talking about. That’s it.

He was rich.
She was pregnant.
End of story.

Continue reading “How Much Do You Trust The New York Times”

White Flag — The Parable Of Stoplight

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I’m wrong. He was rich. She was pregnant. End of story. I get it. I’ve embarrassed myself and I really need to move on. I think I’m going to start working on my novel again today. That’s it. Go for a walk, accept that I’m wrong and move on. I tried my best. But everyone who seems to look into this either flatly states there’s no there there or can’t find anything of note. So, that’s it. All of this is silly.

One of the key political events of my young life was my dad got mad over a stoplight that made it so people couldn’t make a u-turn. It really hurt his business and he fought authority and he won.

Continue reading “White Flag — The Parable Of Stoplight”