Tag: Asia

At Least In South Korea People Cared About Me

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

At lot — a LOT — of pretty dramatic and shitty stuff happened to me while I was in South Korea. Horrific stuff on an emotional basis. But as I continue to have lingering grief over all that bullshit, one thing remains — at least people cared about me back then.

Now, not so much.

I sometimes fear I that my time in Asia is kind of it. The highpoint of my life, period.

I have a lingering desire to return to South Korea one last time. Just to walk around my old haunts.

And, yet, I also know that, lulz, everything will have changed if I go back. To the point that it will be all — on an emotional basis — moot. Only a few South Koreans might remember me and that’s about it.

I still idly daydream about going back, though. And, sometimes, on occasion, I have a hunch that someone in South Korea is thinking about me really hard. And, what’s more, occasionally, someone from from South Korea pings this blog.

It doesn’t happen as often as it used to, of course.

Now, I just think about how all that craziness was a long time ago and nobody cares anymore.

I Really Need To Go Back To Seoul Eventually

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ho hum.

For some reason, I find myself thinking of Seoul AGAIN. I keep thinking about all the adventures I had while I was in Asia and how nice it would be to go back and have people actually…care. That was probably the biggest difference between now and then — back in my Seoul days, people actually gave a shit about me.

Now…lulz.

I am well aware that if I went back that it would be a very harsh reality. Everyone I knew from way back when are long gone. It probably would seem very, very boring. There might be a few Koreans who remember me, but, I don’t know, I just would have to manage my expectations.

And, what’s more, I’m not going back to Asia anytime soon. It could be years and I’ll be even older than I am now. It’s all just kind of sad. I could be dating a robot by the time I have the funds to go back to Asia.

Sigh.

Daydreaming About A Return To Asia One Day…Eventually

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The way things are going, I’m just not going to return to Seoul anytime soon. But that doesn’t stop me from daydreaming about where I might go if I did. Of course, whenever I did return to Seoul I’ll be so old that it’ll be difficult to have any fun.

But here are some places I’d like to see again.

Haebangchon
This was the neighborhood that changed my life. I have a lot of fond memories and lot of bad memories from all my carousing there. I think returning there will be a huge let down because I’m not as cute as I used to be and I won’t be able to chase women like I used to. Sigh.

Nori Bar
I don’t even know if Nori is still open. But I’d at least like to swing by and see. I may be too old for them to let me in (Seoul clubs sometimes do that.) Who knows.

Anyway, it will be years before I can return to Asia. I still have a downlow, lingering desire to backpack around Southeast Asia. But, again, I’m so old. So very, very old, relative to my time in Seoul. Sigh.

I Think If I Fall Into Some Money Before I Croke I’ll Backpack Across Southeast Asia

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m demonstrably bonkers, so this is something of a daydream, but I do idly like the idea of backpacking across Southeast Asia at some point. There are many — MANY — reasons why I just will never be able to this. But, that doesn’t stop me, on a conceptual basis, gaming out how I might do it.

I first became away of the idea of backpacking across Southeast Asia from the woman who told me about teaching in South Korea for the first time. It wasn’t until just recently — about 20 years after the fact — that it occurred to me how cool it would be to do it.

I like the idea because there would just be so many different things to think through. How much money I would need. What to put in my backpack. Where to start and end, all that type of stuff is fun.

Of course, I’m old now and even if sell a breakout hit novel, I could be about 60 before I would have the funds to do such a thing. And that doesn’t take into account that I’m totally bonkers and there would be a lot of risks involved with a crazy person like me walking across the vast landscape of Southeast Asia by my self.

So, for now, it’s just an idle daydream.

I Half-Think I’d Get A Job At Samsung Training AIs If I Went Back To South Korea

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I occasionally muse about what might happen if I went back to South Korea for a visit. I had a lot of “rizz” as the kids say when I was in South Korea and I’m sure there are a few South Koreans who remember me quite well.

I can just see me walking around the street in Seoul if I went back any time soon and some random Korean from my years there who remembered me popping out of the woodwork and saying, “Hey, man, there’s this perfect job for you at Samsung I know about…”

But there are a lot of problems with such a scenario.

It’s not like I’m going back to Seoul anytime soon — if ever. I could be nearly 60 years old — or older — by the time my lot in life changes to the point that I can even think about a return to Asia.

There are some other issues, but lulz, I don’t feel like talking about it.

Yet More Daydreaming About A Return To Seoul

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have no plans to return to Seoul anytime soon. In fact, the way things are going, I could be in my mid to late 50s before I have anywhere near the funds to do such a thing. And, even if it did happen today — I’ve waited too long.

It just won’t be as much fun.

I’m too old.

And, yet, there is a little part of me that still wants to return to Asia again just to see how my old stomping grounds are doing. I would like to see Nori Bar and Haebangchon and Itaewon again.

But I know that given how fast things move in South Korea that everything would be different in the extreme, to the point that it would all be a lulz and a huge fucking letdown.

The fact that I’m just too old to enjoy any return trek to Asia weighs heavily on my mind. It’s one of those things you just don’t really think about — that there are things you have access to in your 30s that you don’t when you’re in your 50s.

Ugh. Talk about sick sad world, huh.

I Sense Someone In South Korea Is Thinking About Me Really Hard (Ha!)

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I don’t really believe in New Age bullshit, but sometimes I do find myself having a curious sensation — that someone, somewhere in South Korea (or connected to it) is thinking about me really hard.

Me, (right) in South Korea around 2004.

I know this is fantastical, but in the past, at least, around the time I have such feelings, someone will swoop in and look at this blog. It hasn’t happened — yet — but someone did download “Somehow” my 30,000 word screed about the crazy days and nights I “enjoyed” between 2006 and 2008 in connection to ROKon Magazine, Nori Bar and the late Annie Shapiro.

I dunno. I just don’t know what to tell you, folks. It’s probably nothing. It’s been about 13 years since I was in South Korea and there’s no reason to believe anyone in South Korea — even a Korean — thinks about me at all these days.

But it is all very….spooky. It does, yet again, make me want to return to South Korea (and Asia in general) one last time to see what’s up. I know South Korea well enough to know that there’s a 50 / 50 chance that if I went back to Seoul anytime soon I’d find myself with a job at Samsung training an AI.

If I Ever Returned To Asia, I Wonder What Would Greet Meet

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

This summer marks the 20th anniversary of my first journey to Asia. There is a Before Asia me and an an After Asia me, for better or worse. Now, at the moment, the likelihood of me EVER returning to Asia — or even leaving the country — is quite remote.

Me, with my students in the summer of 2004.

I’m very, very, very, very poor.

But things are known to change in a heartbeat and, who knows, I might find myself with a little extra money at some point before I die and, as such, I could journey back to Asia for a visit. At this point, I think I would probably go to Japan, then South Korea, then Southeast Asia then come home.

The entire trip would be no more than maybe three weeks.

My biggest concern will be, of course, that I’ll be walking around, say, Seoul, and some Korean who remembers me from back in the day will all but demand I stay in country to, I don’t know, train LLMs for Samsung or something. That’s how things work in South Korea as an expat.

I don’t know what I would do in such a situation.

A lot would depend on HOW I got the money to return to Asia. If I blew up with my novel money, then I think I would politely just move on along. But if, say, something like the North Korean had collapsed and I was on my way to teach ESL there, then, yeah, I might stop in Seoul instead of finishing my journey to the former DPRK.

Anyway, all of this is just a bunch of daydreaming at the moment. There’s no reason to think I will sell my novel — even if I stick the landing — anytime soon. I could be in my mid-to-late 50s by the time I’m a published author, the way things are going.

But I have to admit that I continue to, on occasion, idly daydream about a return to Asia.

I Really Want To Return To Asia For A Little Lookie-Loo

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Barring something I simply can not predict at the moment, I’m not going to South Korea or Asia anytime soon. But that doesn’t stop me from really wanting to return for a few weeks.

Me, (background), in the bad old day of Seoul.

I think, in all honesty, what’s going on is I just want to visit A Real City and I’m either too broke (NYC) or it’s too far away AND I’m broke (LA). So, I idly muse about going to Asia again.

It’s been so long since I was in Asia that I think the whole thing would be a rather meh experience. There are a few people in Asia that if I specifically tracked them down there would be drama…but it’s just not worth it. I just want to swoop in for a few weeks, see some of my old stomping grounds then head home.

That’s it.

There is, of course, always a risk that some people will demand that I absolutely stay for this or that great job opportunity they would love for me to fill. That would be…existential…for more reasons than one.

But that’s a serious amount of hopeful daydreaming on my part. I think I could probably sneak into Seoul and leave without too much drama. Of course, there would probably be at least one Korean who would stop cold in their tracks if they saw me and freak the fuck out.

Anyway.

That’s not happening anytime soon.

I Really Miss Living In Asia

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The thing they don’t tell you about living in South Korea is there is something of a time limit. But the time limit is different for everyone and you can reach it without any notice. This is definitely what happened to me.

But as 2024 rolls around, I find myself thinking of my first journey to South Korea in the summer of 2004. Living in Asia totally, totally changed my life and world view. There is a before and after, especially once the whole ROKon Magazine catastrophe took place.

The issue is that ROKon Magazine kind of kneecapped me on an emotional basis because once I got home, a combination of grief and not knowing what I wanted to do with my life put me in neutral for about a decade. I had ambition but no motivation.

I wanted to either go back to Asia or move to somewhere like New York City, but I just did not have the emotional strength to pull it off. So, I did nothing. Now, of course, I have both ambition and motivation when it comes to the novel I’m working on.

The problem is, of course, that if I should blow up with my DJ (novel money) and suddenly have the resources to get married and have kids…I will be about 20 years late relative to my peers. And all my female peers would be in their 50s and, as such, unable to have kids.

Everything would be far more complicated than I thought, even if I finally achieved the success by living up to the “potential” that the late Annie Shapiro told me I had all those years ago.

I still want to return to Asia, though. And, yet, if I did sell my first novel and had the means to return to Asia in some capacity, even that context would be different. My time in South Korea was sooooo long ago that only a few Koreans might remember who I am. (Which, given how crazy I was in South Korea, is probably a good thing.)

It’s all very muddled because in my mind, I’m 20 years younger but I’m now reminded on a daily basis that I definitely am NOT that young anymore. At least I’m alive and (reasonably) healthy.

That’s all I’ve got going for me at the moment.