Tag: Burn Hollywood Burn

I Think About Women Readers A Lot As I Write This Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I do not purport to have any special insight into the female mind, but I do, at least, try to cater to that segment of the reading audience as I write this novel. I do this especially given the edgy, loaded nature of the novel.

I hope to write a novel that is as accessible as The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

It’s not every day that your heroine is a part-time stripper.

Now, of course, if I was, say a transgender women writing this type of novel, then I probably be hailed as the second coming of Jesus Christ. But, alas, I’m just a smelly CIS white male — a middle aged one at that! — and, as such, slings and arrows and all that.

I have a vision for this novel and, as such, I’m prepared to take shit for what, of course, will be reduced down to “stripper solves a murder mystery.”

Ugh!

That’s not what’s going on! But no one is going to listen to me. Anything to do with sex and women — especially something out of the ordinary — is the thing that people will focus on. And that doesn’t even begin to address the issue of how Hollywood would market any adaptation of the novel should that miraculous thing somehow happen.

Anyway.

I’m really self conscious about how women readers might react to this novel to a fault. I have a few women “advisers” that help me when I feel a little bit nervous about this or that thing that I might broach in the novel while writing from a female POV.

But, like I said, I can only do so much. I’m a smelly CIS white middle aged male and a vocal minority of the reading audience will dismiss the novel the moment they see what I look like.

Write, Write, Write

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I wrote a great deal this afternoon wasted as fuck. I realize that is not exactly the greatest writing philosophy, so I need to kind of chill out on that front. But this novel is getting really, really good.

I’m very pleased with what I’ve managed to come up with.

But there is one issue — I’ve kind of forked the novel AGAIN. The novel is getting a lot better, but now that it’s forked, I can’t just go through an edit things. I’m going to have to tinker and rewrite and restructure things, which will force me to slow down a great deal.

Which, of course, sucks.

I’m trying to speed through things as quickly as possible and all this fucking forking isn’t going to get me to my goal of finishing the third draft by April. I just don’t know what to tell you — I’m trying to make this novel as quickly as possible but it’s just one of those things.

I hate to admit it, but I’ve felt a lot more creative drunk.

Ok, I Get It, Emma Stone

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

In an effort to expose myself to some creativity, I went to see “Poor Things.” Or, should I say, I TRIED to see the movie. I left after a few minutes because it was just not very entertaining to me.

Or, put it another way, the moment I realized what was going on with the movie, I bounced. Rather than tell a story that was actually engaging, the movie was Oscar bait for Emma Stone. Also, I understood why (apparently) there’s so much T&A in the movie — the movie is obviously a passion project for Stone and she felt that the only way to get the movie produced was to get nekkid so people would go specifically to see her T&A.

This. Happens. All. The. Time. In. Hollywood.

Especially with older actresses.

The movie was fine, for what it was, but the moment I had the meta elements of the movie figured out, I had better things to do — like work on my novel.

I Might Do A Few Movie Treatments

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have a few ideas that are interesting movie ideas, but I don’t know how well they would do as novels. So, I think, if I can summon the energy to do so, I’m going to write a few treatments.

There is one currently semi-funny idea that if I could find a collaborator would be something akin to The Wedding Crashers.

And, yet, lulz, absolutely no one cares what I say or do. I could walk off the face of the earth right now and it would take a few weeks for anyone to notice what had happened.

But I do feel like forcing myself to go outside my comfort zone by writing and developing something other than this one story I’ve been working on for years.

Well, *I* Think This Novel Is Getting Pretty Damn Good

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m in full swing editing and rewriting the first act of this novel as I prepare to get into the second act and things are going surprisingly well. Thinking about what I know about this novel in my mind, the big takeaway is it’s just not scary or twisted enough to be directly compared to, say, Gillian Flynn’s “Gone Girl” or Stieg Larsson’s “The Girl With Dragon Tattoo.”

But, even I, who have EXTREMELY HIGH expectations for any story, have to admit that this is shaping up to be, if nothing else, a really entertaining yarn. It’s the kind of story that will suck the reader in pretty fast just because they will want to see how I have a part-time sex-worker solve a murder mystery, if nothing else.

And, yet, I am so blasé and matter-of-fact about that element of the story, that I’d like to think it will be a unique twist to what people will compare it to — the “hooker with a heart of gold” and “sexxy, slutty assassin” tropes.

But there’s one thing I know — you just can’t win. If you take any risks, you are BOUND to somehow, someway offend a small, vocal minority of the audience who will be mad specifically because a smelly CIS white male dared to do anything other than stare at the ceiling and twiddle their thumbs.

So, I press forward.

I still need to work on a backup novel or two. But it’s tough. It’s really tough.

A Downlow Fear About This Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It’s a lot easier to build out nuance when it comes to something like “part-time stripper solves a murder mystery” than it is in a movie.

My fear, of course, is, that if I actually manage to sell this novel and it becomes a success enough to catch Hollywood’s interest, that any movie would focus way too much on the stripper side of things and not that fact that my heroine is the owner of both a strip club and an alternative weekly.

But I think I’m overthinking things. I think all I should worry about is writing the best novel I can. Any thoughts of this novel becoming a movie are way, way, way, way, way, way too early.

I need to just keep my head down and write.

Welp, A New Beginning For The Third Draft — AGAIN

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Within moments of looking over the beginning of the third draft of the novel, I came up with a new, better (?) beginning. The key thing is I really get right into the part-time sex worker (stripper) element of the story.

I never know how much of these changes will stick and how much is just part of the “breathing” process of the novel where everything moves around for months and months until I FINALLY reach something I kinda, sorta like.

But I think if I’m going to do this editing and rewriting right, I need to calm down some. I need to be more methodical because otherwise, I’m just going to spin my wheels for months and months and lulz, nothing will ever get done.

Part of that is to be more active with my setting and descriptions. In past drafts, I’ve kind of been lack about shit like that because the point was to get something, anything down.

Now that I’m on the third draft, I think I need to give a lot more consideration to describing things. I have a feeling I’m doing all of this wrong, but lulz, I’m doing it in a vacuum and have no one to tell me “no.”

I Have No Idea What I’m Doing With This Novel, Redux

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

While things feel like they’re doing pretty well, I honestly have no idea what I’m doing with this novel. But I continue to press forward. I also continue to think about how I need to give my life some structure.

Maybe my novel will be adapted into a movie one day.

I’m very grateful for this peculiar situation I find myself in that affords me the ability to — essentially — be a professional aspiring novelist, even if I have to live in poverty to do it. Of course this particular situation won’t last forever and any number of things that could happen that will, if nothing else, dramatically change the context of what’s going on in my life.

And I continue to grow unnerved with political events that are totally out of my control. Way too many people believe that if only we can defeat Trump at the polls that magically that will be enough to end the threat of MAGA.

My heroine looks a lot like this woman in my mind.

The events of January 6th, tend to make me believe that Trump could very well demand a National Divorce, and as such, prompt a civil war even if we defeat him at the polls fair and square.

As all of these thoughts fill my mind, I also worry about the possibility that AI will make all my hard work…moot…just as I’m preparing to query in late 2024, early 2025. But there would be something poetic if, rather than querying my novel, I’m dodging bullets from MAGA fascists.

But, who knows. It could go a lot of different ways. And, as such, I need to buckle down and work hard. Or, at least, a lot harder than I am at the moment.

I’m Too Old For Mischief

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

If I was younger, I would pick a random celebrity and write a lot about them on this blog, just to see if any of their “people” noticed. But, you know, I’m just too old.

While, on paper, it would be a fun experiment, it also would be too easy for said “people” to take one look at this blog and think I’m some insane stalker. So, meh. I have better things to do with my time.

In The End, Not Even Comedy Will Be Safe From AIGM

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Well, apparently, there’s some sort of AI generated George Carlin special floating around. Such AI Generated Media (AIGM, pronounced Ayee-Gym,) is a sign of things to come.


What gets me is that it’s also a sign that we need to re-calibrate what we expect for AI going forward in regards to the arts. It definitely SEEMS as though within about 18 months….that human Hollywood…just might not exist as we think of it. AIGM will totally consume Human Generated Media (HGM) and…that will be that.

It might be a bit longer than that, given the US could collapse into civil war / revolution in late 2024, early 2025, but, still…the times, they are a changing.