Tag: Burn Hollywood Burn

A Butterfly Effect?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I am always looking for weird ways that changes in society can change other aspects and I think it’s at least possible that all these laws regulating porn online might cause some unexpected changes.

For instance, is it possible that if it’s a lot more difficult for young people to see porn online, that we might have an uptick in raunchy movies? Or even maybe Playboy might increase in cultural relevancy? Or something like that? Something whereby some of the shitty developments in our culture might be fixed because there’s not a constant stream of easily-accessible porn online?

Or not.

Maybe I’m overthinking this too much. Maybe what I’m noticing says more about me being an old man than something that is easily fixable by the butterfly effect. But it would be nice if maybe some of the fun of pop culture that has been drained out of it because of the “woke mind virus” came back.

I don’t blame the rise of “woke” culture for the lack of T&A and general fun in pop culture, but I’m kind of desperate. It would be nice to have the joy that was found in 80s and 90s American pop culture come back in a big way.

But, like I said, maybe this is it. Maybe we’re in a real life Black Mirror episode where we can never have any T&A in raunchy movies and we’ll just drift into a future where all of our movies are either superhero movies or the occasional low budget horror movie.

SAG-AFTRA & WGA Need To Hold The Line Against A.I.

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

While the DGA may have folded, the SGA-AFTRA and WGA need to hold the line when it comes to the studios and the use of AI. If they don’t get concrete, specific carveouts for humans in the recorded arts….that’s all she wrote. Hollywood as we know it will burn to the ground and if you want any form of human-generated entertainment, you’re going to have to go to Broadway.

You would have to be a clueless, shortsighted fool not to see where AI is going at the moment. MidJourney already is very close to crossing the uncanny valley. Turn those still images into video and use ChatGPT6 (or whatever) to make an totally digital movie and there won’t be any need for humans in the recorded arts at all.

The only humans making a living from recorded entertainment will be, well, the suits. They will hire AI programmers and that’s it. And, in the end, there’s a chance that video games and Hollywood will fuse into “immersive personal media” where everyone “plays” their recorded entertainment using an Apple Vision Pro.

That definitely seems to be our future at the moment — unless, of course, SAG and WGA hold the line and cause real pain for the Hollywood studios. Of course, there is a real risk that Hollywood studios have the high ground and all they have to do is just wait until AI technology reaches the point until no humans are needed.

It could happen within 18 months.

It will be interesting to see how things work out. If nothing else, Broadway stars might become what Hollywood stars are today — talk about a black mirror episode!

Overthinking Dua Lipa’s ‘Naked Dress’ & Her Desire To Be A Hollywood Actress

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Any rumination on Dua Lipa’s “naked dress” has to put it in context. For all the buzz around the dress, it’s not THAT naked. Don’t get me wrong, it’s rather revealing — and gorgeous just like Lipa herself — but other women, like Kate Moss and Rihanna, have shown more sheer skin in public in real terms.

To me, the point of the dress is to generate buzz….in Hollywood. Lipa is telling Hollywood directors that she’s ready for her closeup because she’s not afraid of showing T&A on the big screen. Which, of course, reminds me of how Tay-Tay will probably never get her EGOT because if she showed ANY T&A, her fan base of liberal white women would grow so enraged that that would break the Internet.

Dipa has perfected the art of being sexxy in a way where she doesn’t actually show what people think she’s showing. If she’s not wearing a skin-tight Mugler one-piece that has some skin tone stripes to it, she’s grinding on a mic stand in a very covering faux mini-skirt.

And, in real terms, she’s barely showing areola and it’s very clear that she’s wearing a very-wide thong under the dress. If she was really in a naked dress, all there would be in covering of her mons pubis would be a lot of strategic dress sparkles.

So, like I said, to me, this naked dress’ true audience is Hollywood, not us nerds. She’s trying to take her career to the next level by being an actress. She’s already in the Barbie movie, so it would make a lot of sense for her to push with all her might fully into being a full-blown movie star.

The Misogyny Directed Against Phoebe Waller-Bridge For Her Role In ‘Dial of Destiny’ is Shocking

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I found Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s role in Dial of Destiny to be one that established her as a Hollywood star. And, yet, from the way some commenters talk, you would think that not only did she suck, but that she took over the movie in a “woke” attempt to hand the Indy franchise over to her.

Now, here’s the context — there was a massive amount of bonkers chatter on YouTube that the time travel element of the movie was originially meant to be a way to turn Waller-Bridge into Indiana Jones by erasing Harrison Ford’s version from time altogether. They really got themselves worked out into an anti-woke Hollywood lather about this possibility.

And…then…it didn’t happen.

They claimed “victory” over the evil forces of Woke Hollywood, but I have my doubts. While I understand the fears — that definitely does sound like something Kathleen Kennedy would do to Indiana Jones — I just am not prepared to believe that was ever seriously considered, much less shot.

But, who knows.

The key thing to remember is I think, ultimately, the issue of who to turn the Indy franchise over to will be mooted because of technology. Soon enough, our digital assistant will scan our face, determine our mood and give us a very specific Indy movie that is completely different anything anyone else is watching at that particular moment.

It seems a foregone conclusion at this point.

I do wish, however, that Waller-Bridge could get her own franchise playing Dr. Susan Calvin of the I, Robot short stories. That would be great!

Video: A Hot Take On #AI & #Hollywood

Video: A Hot Take On ‘Dial Of Destiny’ & Other Things

Of ‘Asteroid City’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The thing about Asteroid City is it’s beautiful to look at. But, otherwise, it can sometimes come across as shrill and overwrought. I will try not to spoil it for you, but, let’s just say it has an….interesting…framing device that is rather convoluted.

But it was interesting. In fact, I never once felt like walking out, which is something I do all the time with movies because I’ve become something of a storytelling snob of late. The more I think about it, the more the movie reminds me of weird movies of the 1990s that I used to see with my girlfriend of the time. They were weird, thought-provoking movies that lingered in your mind.

Of note — the movie was not in any way “woke.” It just told a story that was interesting and thought-provoking. That’s it. It didn’t browbeat you with some sort of overarching Leftist political message. It was not until I had had time to marinate on the movie that this just occurred to me.

Anyway, I liked Asteroid City…I guess? There were elements of it that could easily enrage someone who might not be into the art-house aesthetic. But, lulz, it was nice to see an interesting movie that was Just A Movie, not some sort of political manifesto about how we need to slay the patriarchy.

The Rise of ‘Personal Media’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It definitely seems as though soon enough there will be no more mass media, no more shared reality. If we reached the “Her” future, then rather than any form of mass media, we’ll have media that is designed specifically for us by an AI.

When this happens, Hollywood will pretty much no longer exist as we think of it at the moment. All that will exist is producers and software programmers who tinker behind the scenes behind the with AI. All the writers, directors and actors will no longer exist in any real sense.

Hollywood will be burned to the ground and everyone will will have a very specific media to the point that the idea of everyone watching the same thing with the same plot will be seen as rather “quaint.”

I just don’t think people appricate how perilous the future of Hollywood writers are. I just don’t see the shelf life of Hollywood writers being all that long — maybe five years? And there is always the chance that a lot sooner than we might see is the eternal “now” whereby Hollywood stars just never age and they are able to churn out movie after movie after movie with long-dead actors.

What’s more, the idea of “immersive” media should be take into consideration. Immersive mult-player media is pretty much the only thing that VR will be used for. You will essentially “play” your entertainment with a crowd of people in the metaverse.

Remember, of course, that I’m always wrong and, what’s more, no one listens to me.

Keep An Eye On Millie Bobby Brown

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve already done a Twitter video on this, but lulz, here goes. The thing that getting older gives you is perspective. And I definitely can remember how strange it seemed to me in the 1990s when all these “older” women were in Playboy. But now, as someone in my early 50s, it makes total sense.

It’s a prime example of how you can get what you want after you really don’t want it anymore. I mean, if someone like Britney Spears was in Playboy, I would totally buy it. She was always rather elusive when I was younger and seeing her Playboy would be pretty hot.

Anyway, the point is — for a lot of younger people, Millie Bobby Brown is a cultural touchstone because they were going through adolescence when they first encountered her. So, the idea that Brown might let slip a little T&A (or more!) for the sake of her career would be A Big Deal for them.

I’ve seen a number of signs that she’s about to break out the nudity pretty soon. Remember, I’m saying this not as a Creepy Old Man, but as someone who knows what it’s like to be young and then get older.

I will note that young people are so fucking prudish compared to earlier generations. They have all this access to hard-core porn…and they are shocked SHOCKED by a little T&A in their mainstream movies.

Ugh. It’s so fucking annoying.

While we’re talking about such things, there is one person who would break the Internet if she did ANY form of T&A — Taylor Swift. It would be jaw dropping if she decided to change her image just a little bit and be a normal human being to the public by showing a little T&A here or there. She’s done faux nudity in a video, but, really, she’s been very chaste.

She’s managed to get away with it because her audience is mostly liberal white women. BUT there will come a point when she kind of reaches a fork in the road if she wants to EGOT. If she wants an Oscar, she’s going to have to gift us some T&A in some way. And that doesn’t even begin to address the issue of her needed / wanting to get married and have a baby or two.

Her base is growing older and doing fucking normal things like settling down, there’s going to come a point where Tay-Tay is going to have to figure out if she’s going to follow suit or not.