Tag: pop rock

Miley Cyrus, Please Cover These Songs


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m really digging Miley Cyrus’ latest album. Even though absolutely no one listens to me, here are songs for her to cover for her next hopefully even-more-rock album.

The above song is duh. I keep suggesting different modern female vocalists cover it and nothing happens. Anyway, this song is perfect for Ms. Cyrus because she could scream at the top of her lungs and it would make total sense. It would make a lot of sense for this cover’s rock guitar to come from St. Vincent’s Annie Clark.

This is another great song for Ms. Cyrus because she could scream all she wanted to and it would work with the song, something that can not be said for her cover of Blondie’s “Heart of Glass” which simply made no sense for it.

The above is another great scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs song that Ms. Cyrus might do a good-to-great job with.

Given how — apparently? — Ms. Cyrus is a big old mo as they say, it might be fun for her to sing the Meatloaf side of the above duet. The more I think about it, that would be pretty great. Maybe get Ariana Grande to sing the traditionally female part?

Anyway. No one listens to me.

‘Rona Rock:’ Miley Cyrus Is Making The Best Pop-Rock Music Out Today


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m shocked how great the music Miley Cyrus is producing right now is. It blows my mind. It’s actual…gasp…pop rock! She seems to have finally figured out how to use her particular vocal style in the pop rock genre. I call this New Sound, “Rona Rock” but that’s just me.

In particular, I really like her duet with Dua Lipa “Prisoner.” That’s what I’m talking about. That’s a pretty traditional pop rock banger. It’s got a beat and you can dance to it, as they say. Keep doing that! Go that direction!

I could do without the allusion to period cunnilingus in the video. Jesus Christ, ladies. But the song itself is great. I love it. I’m probably going to listen to it a zillian times over the next few weeks.

The question, of course, is this just a blip or a trend? I continue to be astonished by the cultural ignorance younger people. It’s like they barely know any music outside of The Beatles that’s older than 30 years old. It makes you wonder what happens if they suddenly discover the entirety of The British Invasion. Or punk. Or whatever. Good music.

Anyway. Keep up the good work Miley!

‘ATM’ — A Gift For Ariana Grande #Lyrics


Ariana Grande loves, loves, LOVES dirty songs. From “Side to Side” to her latest jam which is about 69ing, there’s no sexual position or activity she wants to avoid talking about in no-so-subtle ways. So, here’s the stepping off point for a new dirty song for her. I used Janelle Monae’s duet with Miguel “Primetime” to give me some sort of beat structure. Please ignore if you’re a producer and can think of something better. But I thought of this concept and couldn’t stop thinking about it. And, in all honesty, I only write lyrics like this to see if anyone with a cool domain name pops up in my Webstats.

ATM
Lyrics By Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

being in line with you is sublime
waiting for you make change
gotta go to the ATM
see if you’ll smile
when I’m around the corner

ATM is what I’m talking about
when you need to make a dash
for some extra cash
just go to the
ATM ATM ATM

not everyone knows your PIN
but when I’m touching you
I’m always a star
your sun shines bright
even when it’s bleached white’

ATM is what I’m talking about
when you need to make a dash
for some extra cash
just go to the
ATM ATM ATM

(bridge)
the ATM may closed
but my fingers know the score
when I hit the spot
I lick until you’re a rock

ATM is what I’m talking about
when you need to make a dash
for some extra cash
just go to the
ATM ATM ATM

‘Don’t Block The Box’ — A Song Proposal For A ‘Rona Rock’ ‘New Sound’ Song


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

First, no one listens to me. Absolutely no one listens to me. So, really, I’m just rambling into the darkness of the aether right now. But while I was in Atlanta on my personal Writer’s Retreat, I saw a sign that said, “Don’t Block The Box.”

I found that phrase catchy and, in the right context, kind of suggestive. Like the female equviolent of “Don’t cockblock me.” There are a few women I could see being interesting such a song — Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry and Ariana Grande being among them.

But, here’s the deal — I would want this song to be more like the songs found on Nelly Furtado’s “Loose” album than the shit we have to listen to now. So, what you might do is something like this:

Start with this song:

I say this because “Kickstart my heart” has the same beat structure as “Don’t block the box.”And, I want this to be a fast pop-rock song. Something you can really dance to. It has a real guitar and real fucking drums.

Then what you do is, update the above song by giving it some modern influence — this song.

So, what I was thinking is — you get Katy Perry to sing the main part of the song, then throw in a rap aspect to the song, maybe like this song:

If you think about it, rock and rap go together far better than rap and the fucking shit of Adult Contemporary. Rap being co-oped by Adult Contemporary is a modern crime against music.

I guess what I’m saying is I want an actual good song that doesn’t insult your musical palet to be produced using the title “Don’t Block The Box.”

I would try to write the lyrics myself but the more I work on the novel the more I realize there’s absolutely no point to do that unless I’m willing to do it right. Writing usable song lyrics is tough and requires at least a basic knowledge of music.

So, I’ve decided just to simply explain the concepts of songs rather than try to write the lyrics. Though I find writing lyrics so relaxing I might do it just for the sheer enjoyment of it.

The finished product, I guess, in my fevered “delusional and stupid” mind would sound like more pop version of this song with a rap aside, while keeping the speed and traditional rock “wall of sound.”

Save Us, Miley Cyrus, From Adult Contemporary’s Tyranny


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I don’t know what what’s going on with Miley Cyrus. Even though she wants to scream her songs for some reason, she is obviously searching around for a “new sound.” What’s so weird is she wants to do this within the context of the dreaded Adult Contemporary.

Why can’t we have nice things in music anymore, like regular old pop rock? You can update it anyway you want to, but give me a rock sound that’s got a beat and you can dance to. Here are a few songs that I think, if you modernized them, would serve as a great source for the “New Sound.”

Now, let me point something out. There is plenty of rock music out there, I know, but it’s not pop rock and it’s not Top 40. I want that vibe we used to have of a pop rock Top 40 hit. It makes you wonder if the death of rock is existential or if it’s just that our new Lennon is only 13 and hasn’t gotten his heart broken yet.

Or, it could be that I’m just old and all this talk of a “New Sound” is really just my way of telling Zoomers to get off my musical yard. But I will note that it is…odd…that we’ve suffered under the jackboot of Adult Contemporary for so very fucking long.

I wish Miley Cyrus — of all people — would hook up with Butch Vig and come out with a Garbage-like sound. That would be sooooo cool.

Constructing The ‘New Sound’ Of Rona Rock


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Absolutely no one listens to me. But I do have an ear for music — and an obsessive personality — so I’m going to rant about this for a little bit until I get this out of my system.

Ok, so, here we are. We have suffered through about 15 years of Modern Adult Contemporary as absolutely dominating pop music. Rock music is dead. It’s relegated to a small corner of the musical world. No longer is rock pop music and pop music, rock. But we are overdue for a change.

We’re overdue for a “New Sound.”

Here’s how I would construct it.

First, you think up a way to make this type of song by The Talking Heads sound more modern.

Then, there are three songs on U2’s Achtung Baby to use as a frame of reference.

These songs are pretty much juiced up Adult Contemporary songs. They’re songs that kind of oldies (ugh) but still modern enough that they fit the conventions of modern music. Next, you throw in the Butch Vig sound that can be found in this song.

And then here’s the crucial aspect of this New Sound. What what I just let you listen to in your mind, draw out what is obviously a “New Sound” in this song to make an entire genre — Rona Rock.

I know that this “New Sound” I’m hearing is simply a producer referencing mid-80s rock. Ok, I get it. But the song does sound very modern to my ears. It’s like I hear something different. I hear potential. Go that way! I wouldn’t mind top 40 music sounding like warmed over Talking Heads. That would be pretty cool, in fact.

And, remember, if the history of pop music is any indication, once you get a New Sound, that changes the dynamic of things so much that some interesting things could happen, like, say….rock n roll? Maybe Rona Rock would be actual rock before it was all over with.

But that’s being delusional.

At best, we we’ll probably just simply Adult Contemporary with a little bit of mid-80s influence.

‘Thighland’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Rock Song


I don’t know anything about music, but I do enjoy writing. So, here you go. Maybe someone might see it as a stepping off point. I would like credit for it, though.

Thighland
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

land of a thousand smiles
she might tap you on the shoulder
telling you to go
lies come and roll
but there’s no place like

thighland
always warm
always welcoming to your love
even if it’s just a tug
thighland
always warm
always welcoming to your love
even if it’s just a tug

we’re all happy in this land
never have to worry about the rain
it’s never in vain
lately it’s been dull but it’s just a lul
wait until the night and it’ll change
here in

thighland
always warm
always welcoming to your love
even if it’s just a tug
thighland
always warm
always welcoming to your love
even if it’s just a tug

(bridge)
close the gate
if you’re too late
rub your muff if you get enough
of your time in the land of honey
it’s all too sweet in
thighland
thighland
thighland

thighland
always warm
always welcoming to your love
even if it’s just a tug
thighland
always warm
always welcoming to your love
even if it’s just a tug

‘Little Green Men’ — #Lyrics to a Pop-Rock Song


The point of these lyrics — even though I know nothing about music — is my delusional hope that maybe someone who DOES know something about music my use them as the basis of an actual song. Wake up, people, we need protest songs, stat.

Little Green Men
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

we’re coming to your city, yeah
coming to snatch you off the street
put you in a van before you can flee
gunna break your head wide open
even if you’re a mom
your freedom will be gone, gone, gone

Little Green Men
Little Green Men
coming for yah
coming for yah
with a roar
from Russia with love
from Russia with love
love, love, love

your freedoms don’t mean nuthing now
all that matters is that we’re great
don’t worry one bit will let you go
but not before we have a row
gunna remind you who’s in charge
when people take notice, it’ll be too late

keep your mouth shut and you’ll be fine
we’ll let you go after awhile
but if you won’t shut up
we’ll take you to a camp
you little scamp

(bridge)
freedom’s not free as you can see
you gave it all up for a moron
who rules you as a king
just smile and take it
that’s the key

Little Green Men
Little Green Men
coming for yah
coming for yah
with a roar
from Russia with love
from Russia with love
love, love, love

‘The Trumpty Dance’ An Anti-Trump Old School #Rap

This is embarrassingly bad, but it gives you some sense of what I wanted to do with it.


The Trumpty Dance
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform
(With apologies to The Digital Underground)

lie to me baby
lie to me baby
lie to me baby

you thought I was a fooling you
but here I am ruling you
so let me introduce myself
my name is Trump
sure I’m a litte dumpty
but I’m still getting grabbing pussy
and I’ve got a new dance
if you don’t do it you’re a wussy

the Trumpty Dance is gas
the Trumpty Dance is at first glance
just a bunch of crap

I got a foreign wife
while I try with all my might
to tell you immigrants are a blight
but you’ll buy my crap
you think it smells so nice
as long as I get my wall
it’s my call

Nazis do the Trumpty-Trump!
Rich people do the Trumpty-Trump!
Gun-nuts do the Trumpty-Trump!

‘Don’t Touch Your Face’ #Lyrics To A #COVID19 #Pop R&B Song

Shelton Bumgarner

I don’t know anything about music, but I do like to write. So, here’s my attempt at a COVID19-themed pop song. It’s just a quick sketch. I could see this as one of those great pop R&B songs that Rihanna is so well known for.

Don’t Touch Your Face
Lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

passion brings us together
until death do we part
so I look into your eyes and say
baby, I feel your pain
we all have to be strong

water flows from the sky
down unto your eyes
I look at your beauty and sigh
then say

no matter what else you do
don’t touch your face
don’t touch your face
don’t touch your face

wash your body and your soul
this world we live in is so cold
people come and people go
but I know you’ll always be my side
I want to keep you safe and sound
so I might say outloud

water flows from the sky
down unto your eyes
I look at your beauty and sigh
then say

no matter what else you do
don’t touch your face
don’t touch your face
don’t touch your face

don’t let fear dry you out
I saw with a shout
no need to fear
I’ll always been near

don’t touch your face
don’t touch your face
don’t touch your face