Tag: ROKon Magazine

Let’s Play, ‘Why The Fuck Was Someone Interested In Me & ROKon Magazine?’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

What happened with ROKon Magazine was so long ago that not even I, the keeper of its memory, care anymore other than drawing upon its legacy to write a novel. I know how great a story it is and what could be done with it under the right conditions, but, lulz, absolutely no one else will care or listen to me.

The late Annie Shapiro and me back in our ROKon Magazine days when I was still cute.

But today, out of the blue, someone came to this site through Instagram and made a beeline to what they could find about ROKon Magazine. I am WELL AWARE of how one could perceive my obsession with my Webstats as…creepy…but…lulz, my life is so devoid of anything interesting these days, please give me this one thing.

Here’s what I think happened — someone got wind of me and ROKon Magazine and did a search for me. My Instagram account was the first link they found, then they went from there to this site. Why anyone would give a shit about ROKon Magazine at this point without me prompting them is…intriguing.

My favorite cover of ROKon Magazine.

I am working with some people on a new online literary zine, so maybe someone was curious about me through that? But how they would know about ROKon Magazine specifically if that was the case is a mystery.

But I find the whole thing — while intriguing — a lulz. I’m so old at this point that I only keep breathing out of spite. Sigh.

I Can’t Help Who I Am

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Every time someone who clearly knows me from my time in Asia looks at my LinkedIn profile I don’t quite know what to do. I am who I am. I try to be the best person I can be.

What’s more, I’ve changed a great deal from who I was in Asia. It’s like I’ve had a brain transplant. I now have a great deal of humility that I did not have back in the day. I look at old pictures of myself and there’s definitely a Before ROKon Magazine and an After ROKon Magazine element to my appearance.

I was a very….colorful…person during my time in Asia. There’s something unnerving about people who knew me way back when — now almost 20 years ago! — still being interested enough in me to look me up on LinkedIn.

All they learn is I haven’t done much with my life since I left Asia. In fact, the only thing of note that I’ve done is work on a novel for years and years. But, at the moment at least, I’m pretty (outwardly) a loser.

No one believes in me, but me. I still believe that I have at least one more hattrick in me. I really believe this novel has a lot of potential. I really believe — in fact I know in my heart — that I am going to sell this novel and it will have some measure of success.

We Need A Media Outlet To Believe In

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The potency of The New York Times comes from how many people believe in it. And, in its own way, that’s what made Gawker Media so potent at one point — it was easy to believe in it. Until it wasn’t because it was icky.

I have a tendency to draw attention to myself.

But I do believe that there is a market — and audience — for a media outlet that leans into the spirit of the old Gawker’s early days when it was a fun, snarky blog that rallied the troops every day with its call for droll common sense.

Of course, the obvious venue for this would be a podcasting network of some sort. And, yet, I think even podcasting is so mature these days that, lulz, why are we even talking about this.

This all makes me think about how if I somehow magically lived in New York City that I would start an old fashion zine that covered whatever borough I lived in. I really enjoy zines — obviously — and if I did a good enough job with the zine, I think people of note would take interest in it.

Put me in, coach.

Of course I would hand the thing out in person in front of offices of The New York Times in an effort to catch media attention for it. Even though I’m old as hell, if I was living in either NYC or LA for any duration of time, I could still draw a lot of attention to myself just by…being myself.

And, yet, lulz.

Anyway, there definitely seems to be something of a vacuum in modern media at the moment. Or maybe everything is so scattered and defuse at this point that since there’s no “center” anymore that it’s just not possible for there to be an alternative to it.

Oh well.

I Really Want To Return To Asia For A Little Lookie-Loo

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Barring something I simply can not predict at the moment, I’m not going to South Korea or Asia anytime soon. But that doesn’t stop me from really wanting to return for a few weeks.

Me, (background), in the bad old day of Seoul.

I think, in all honesty, what’s going on is I just want to visit A Real City and I’m either too broke (NYC) or it’s too far away AND I’m broke (LA). So, I idly muse about going to Asia again.

It’s been so long since I was in Asia that I think the whole thing would be a rather meh experience. There are a few people in Asia that if I specifically tracked them down there would be drama…but it’s just not worth it. I just want to swoop in for a few weeks, see some of my old stomping grounds then head home.

That’s it.

There is, of course, always a risk that some people will demand that I absolutely stay for this or that great job opportunity they would love for me to fill. That would be…existential…for more reasons than one.

But that’s a serious amount of hopeful daydreaming on my part. I think I could probably sneak into Seoul and leave without too much drama. Of course, there would probably be at least one Korean who would stop cold in their tracks if they saw me and freak the fuck out.

Anyway.

That’s not happening anytime soon.

Man, Was I Crazy Back In The Day

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Me (background) with an acquaintance back int my crazy days in Seoul.

At some point in late 2006, everything changed in my life. I met the now late Annie Shapiro and she changed my life. A whole lot of crazy things happened that culminated in A VERY CRAZY THIING happening around my 35 birthday.

But I try not to think about that now, many moons later.

I’m a far more sedate, introspective person now. It’s like I’ve had a brain transplant. And, really, all I want now is the opportunity to finish and query my first novel with hopes of it being a break out hit success.

To this day, I think someone could write a screenplay based on what happend between Annie Shapiro and me back in the day. That was all very, very crazy.

You’d Think I Was Napoleon Escaping Elba When It Comes To A Return To South Korea

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The key thing is — as of right now, there is zero chance of me ever returning to South Korea. I just have the idea of one day returning on the brain at the moment since I’m not getting any younger. And, really, the world is so big that who knows, maybe I might have the means to return to South Korea, only to get distracted and go to Europe instead.

Back when I was a DJ at Nori bar.

At the moment, I just don’t know.

I only bring all of this up because something mysterious happened in my Webstats — someone went specifically to the post I did of me dwelling on what I would do if I went back to South Korea for a little trip. I have no idea what that means. They were in Canada, so it could very well be someone who knows me and is interested in any plans I might have to return to the Land of the Morning Calm.

The thing about me ever returning to South Korea is I would go back without knowing the context of my return.

It could be that it will be a nostalgic, uneventful little journey and I will return home to go on my next adventure somewhere else. OR, it could be a massive clusterfuck with all these people who remember the Bad Old Me giving me jump scares as they “accidently” run into me and confront me for all the crazy shit I did between late 2006 to early 2008.

The late Annie Shapiro and me, back when I was cute.

But I haven’t been in South Korea for a very long time. While I know I was really fucking weird at times while I was in South Korea the first few times….I’ve changed. I really have. All I’ve done the last decade or so is dwell on what went wrong with ROKon Magazine and how I could have done things differently.

And, what’s more, the person at the center of most of my fucked up behavior — Annie Shapiro — has shuffled off this mortal coil. So, really, everyone should just move on and let me visit my old stomping grounds in South Korea without giving me any grief.

I am very curious if Nori Bar is still open. I’m sure everything has changed if it is. It’s not like I could DJ there again for a night like I used to. I’m sure they just use something like Spotify to pick music, no need for a DJ. I had a lot of good times at that bar, I have to say.

Did I See A Ghost?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I was leaving the grocery store the other day when I saw a ghost. Or, at least, I saw a doppelgänger for the late Annie Shapiro. As I approached the woman, my mind was in something of a panic: is that Annie?

The late Annie Shapiro

While Annie Shapiro is the only person I know who could successfully fake her own death, I think I have to accept that she is, in fact, tragically dead. But it was surreal seeing someone who looked so much like her.

Annie was probably one of the weirdest individuals I’ve ever met, and this is saying something given how fucking weird I AM. But, who knows.

The crux of how I think about Annie now that she’s dead is that we never had a chance to reconcile. And, yet, lulz, it was a long time ago and nobody cares anymore.

But I continue to think what happened between Annie Shapiro and myself and what a great novel or movie it might make. It was really, really fucked up.

It Was A Long Time Ago & Nobody Cares Anymore

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The events of ROKon Magazine are pretty crazy. It once took a third party 30 minutes to explain the drama surrounding the magazine. It was then that I realized that the story of that failed magazine was pretty….great.

Anyway. I have Romanized what happened all those years ago a great deal, to an absurd degree. And, really, it’s been so long ago that no body — NO BODY — cares anymore.

But I do think that in a world where Saltburn is a hit, that the bonkers story of what happened with ROKon Magazine seems viable. And, yet, I really digging into what happened with the magazine to write a six novel project that is a downlow screed against extremism in general and MAGA specifically.

That doesn’t stop me from thinking about how someone, somewhere might want to tell the ROKon Magazine story something akin to literally. It’s got everything — sex, drugs, rock and people going crazy in Asia.

I think I need to just be content with the novels I’m writing, though. Absolutely no one cares at this point.

I Really Miss Living In Asia

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The thing they don’t tell you about living in South Korea is there is something of a time limit. But the time limit is different for everyone and you can reach it without any notice. This is definitely what happened to me.

But as 2024 rolls around, I find myself thinking of my first journey to South Korea in the summer of 2004. Living in Asia totally, totally changed my life and world view. There is a before and after, especially once the whole ROKon Magazine catastrophe took place.

The issue is that ROKon Magazine kind of kneecapped me on an emotional basis because once I got home, a combination of grief and not knowing what I wanted to do with my life put me in neutral for about a decade. I had ambition but no motivation.

I wanted to either go back to Asia or move to somewhere like New York City, but I just did not have the emotional strength to pull it off. So, I did nothing. Now, of course, I have both ambition and motivation when it comes to the novel I’m working on.

The problem is, of course, that if I should blow up with my DJ (novel money) and suddenly have the resources to get married and have kids…I will be about 20 years late relative to my peers. And all my female peers would be in their 50s and, as such, unable to have kids.

Everything would be far more complicated than I thought, even if I finally achieved the success by living up to the “potential” that the late Annie Shapiro told me I had all those years ago.

I still want to return to Asia, though. And, yet, if I did sell my first novel and had the means to return to Asia in some capacity, even that context would be different. My time in South Korea was sooooo long ago that only a few Koreans might remember who I am. (Which, given how crazy I was in South Korea, is probably a good thing.)

It’s all very muddled because in my mind, I’m 20 years younger but I’m now reminded on a daily basis that I definitely am NOT that young anymore. At least I’m alive and (reasonably) healthy.

That’s all I’ve got going for me at the moment.

The State Of The Novel As Of December 4th, 2023