Month: October 2018

‘Blood Test’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Song

Just screwing around. I like this title.

Blood Test
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

when we fell in love we swore a blood oath
we’d be together no matter what
times change as they always do
now it’s just me and you
an open door with your name on it
will you keep your vow
or will you break fail your

blood test
tell me the truth
blood test
wanna know your answer to the
blood test

love shouldn’t be a battle
but everyone is keeping score
is this a test we can handle
what’s the truth I want to know
do you have your sharpened pencil
’cause we have a test to take
a blood test

blood test
tell me the truth
blood test
wanna know your answer to the
blood test

[bridge]
when this is done
we’ll be together again
we’ll count the cost
know it was worth it
(maybe)

blood test
tell me the truth
blood test
wanna know your answer to the
blood test

blood test
blood test
blood test
blood test

V-Log: Was Michael Cohen In Prague Talking To The Russians In Summer 2016?

by Shelton Bumgarner
@sheltbumgarner

Just me randomly musing out loud about the chatter on Twitter that there might be proof of, well, collusion.

If There’s A ‘Blue Wave,’ Trump Will Claim It Was Chinese Hacking

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

There’s a very good chance that if there is some sort of Blue Wave — which I refuse to believe is going to happen until a Democratic House (at least) is sworn in in January — that Trump will actively attempt to put doubt in his follower’s minds as to its legitimacy.

One reason why I think there isn’t going to be a Blue Wave is Trump dangled this idea out there for a day then dropped it just as suddenly as he introduced it. That leads me to believe his internal polling is showing things are fine for Republicans since the SCOTUS problem and he has nothing to worry about.

The end game to challenging the legitimacy of any possible Blue Wave is should he be impeached, Trump can scream bloody murder about how Congress has no right to do anything to him because of Chinese hacking. What’s more, in the extremely unlikely event that Trump is not only impeached but convicted, he will give himself every reason to simply ignore the Senate’s conviction. Or he’ll rally the MAGA base to come defend him at the White House.

Though one thing I think we’re underestimating: simply because you impeach a president, doesn’t mean you convict him. And given what a wily politician Trump is, I have ever reason to believe he’s going to be more Reagan and less Nixon in the sense the center of gravity for the American political system is lurching to the Right in a big way and there’s no going back. It’s going to be 20 to 30 years before the “browning of America” slowly begins to wear away at the damage Nixon — > Reagan — > Trump have done to the United States over the last 50 years.

‘Believe Her’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Ballad

Oh, this one is ok, I guess. I really need a co-writer and a composer / producer. But this would be, in my imagination, a sad pop ballad. It’s probably a little bit too bit earnest as it stands.

Believe Her
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@sheltbumgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

doesn’t matter when it was
or where it was the fact remains
believe her, believer her, believe her
indelible in the Hippocampus is the laughter
she says struggling to contain her tears

believe her
for once I say
believe her
for once, I plead
believe her
believe her
believe her

the old man shift in their seats
not knowing what to say
they have a job to do for their leader
who’s looking intently across the screen
the decision is already made sad to say

believe her
for once I say
believe her
for once, I plead
believe her
believe her
believe her

[bridge]
if we only would believe her
maybe things would change
women wouldn’t feel afraid
they wouldn’t be in a quiet hell

but we all know this won’t happen
nothing is going to be different
it’s a plight for the ages
all because we won’t

believe her
believe her
believe her
believe her

‘Love You The Most’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Ballad

Now, again, I have no beats, so I just use existing ones to give me some sense of the mood I’m using. In this case, I’m using Blur’s Tender. So, remember, this is definitely a first draft that barely is even what you might think of as lyrics because I simply don’t know anything about music. I just like writing stories in verse. This is also something my mom used to tell my dad whenever he left her in the mornings, so this has a special sentimental affinity for me.

Love You The Most
@sheltbumgarner
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

when we leave each other’s side in the morning
I whisper quietly as I can
how I feel for you
what more can I say my love but

love you this most

love you the most
baby
love you the most
baby
can’t live with you
love you the most

the day is long but I must strive
it’s a struggle to survive
I drive to work thinking of you
all that keeps me alive in your memory
and knowing you’ll be by my side soon
what else can I do

day turns into night
I find the will to be alive knowing return
soon we’ll be together it’s true
on the drive home I quietly weep
thinking of you my sweet

love you the most
baby
love you the most
baby
can’t live with you
love you the most

[bridge]
when we finally get back together
it is such a joy
we finally are as it should be
together at last
until the night becomes the day
and you leave my side again
only for me to say in a warm whisper

love you the most
love you the most
love you the most
love you the most

…..One Last Idle Musing About Kavanaugh & Usenet

by Shelton Bumgarner
@shelbumgarner

…….this is just a very, very casual mulling of something….interesting….going on with my Webstats……why is someone from New York City looking at this Website repeatedly today?

…..it could be anything….maybe they like my lyrics (ha!)…..or….dare I even speculate that….maybe…..just….maybe….something might be up on the Kavanaugh-Usenet front?

I’m 99.9% sure this isn’t the case and it’s probably something much more prosaic than that…..it’s just…if you could dig up (even at this late date) Usenet posts from Kavanaugh at Yale, that would be significant.

but….who am I kidding. I’m just spinning dumb tales as I always do.

it’s just interesting. very interesting. what does it mean?

‘25% Less’ — #Lyrics To An R&B-Pop Song

I’m just screwing around. Trump keeps producing song titles and lyrics at an alarming rate, so much so it’s kind of surreal. This title comes from him saying he likes Taylor Swift “25% Less.” Sounds like two lovers arguing to me. Hence, these lyrics. These lyrics are ok. Definitely a first draft. But, remember, I just like writing lyrics. It’s relaxing.

25% Less
Lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@sheltbumgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

you slam the door in my face
hoping I’ll roar in disgrace
but I see you nude tip-toe on the lamb
coming back my way in the dark
your anger has faded
you’re so easy to be persuaded
ask me if I love you still
touch your nose softly and smile as I say

25% less
out of infinity
25% less
taken from the end of time
25% less
25% less
25% less

I’m always going to be by your side
slide into bed late at night
know you’ll always own my heart
with a body like that and a mind that won’t quit
how am I supposed to compete
I’ve love you 100% more till the end of time

25% less
out of infinity
25% less
taken from the end of time
25% less
25% less
25% less

[bridge]
I’ll top you off with my love
give you my all and then some
you only deserve the best I believe
no matter how much I want to take from you
I’ll give you my 100%

25% less
out of infinity
25% less
taken from the end of time
25% less
25% less
25% less

‘Vortex’ — #Lyrics To A Dance Pop Song

I love this title for a song. It’s perfect. It’s a strong word and, like “Toxic,” it’s two syllables. And, I like the context of it being about something — or someone — being crazy and causing a lot of trouble. I have tried over and over again to write lyrics to a song with this title and nothing has been of note. But here’s another attempt. I don’t have any beats, but imagine it’s really fast and dance-pop like Toxic. If it has that internal beat structure built into it in too obvious a manner, remember I need a co-writer and a composer (someone who knows something about music) to make this into actual lyrics. I just like writing stories in verse.

Vortex
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls
please give credit if you produce or perform

spin things off of me like a hurricane
got no name don’t blame me it’s my game
touch my thigh just right
might let you ride my vortex eye by midnight
once you make me leer
I’ll take it straight from here

[pre-chorus]
want you in my center
I’m a real spinner
sin is my game

[chorus]
things are getting crazy
no one’s ever called me lazy
bring me to your place
I’ll make a mess with my vortex
don’t forget to lock the door
I’ll make a mess with my vortex

don’t you fret my pet
the best is on its way
if you can handle it

[pre-chorus]
I’ll keep you steady
as the wind begins to whip
what are you willing to get it

[chorus]
don’t complain not one bit
this vortex is going to be lit
my eye is in your path
it’s the strongest vortex yet
I’ll rip your tree from its roots
my vortex will leave you shaking in your boots
my vortex will leave you shaking in your boots
my vortex will leave you shaking in your boots

‘Burner Account’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Rock Song

This is just ridiculousness. Just feel like writing lyrics. It’s relaxing. I see this is more of a Chemical Brothers type song, but whatever. Just enjoy writing lyrics, regardless.

Burner Account
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@sheltbumgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

when you’re a star
don’t want to be caught
(burner account)
things won’t go far
when they don’t know who you are
(burner account)
we’re all alone in this galaxy of dust
if you’re not in the know
you can have all the fun
(burner account)

burner account
that’s where’s at
you can talk all the shit you like
when you hide behind a
burner account
burner account
burner account

nothing is as it seems
when you don’t use your real name
(burner account)
who is that you see talking
about the latest hit
(burner account)
don’t you worry one bit
you won’t understand the truth
(burner account)

burner account
that’s where’s at
you can talk all the shit you like
when you hide behind a
burner account
burner account
burner account

[bridge]
it’s just for fun
to tell you the truth
want to see how the other half lives
it’s not a sin
(or is it?)

burner account
burner account
burner account

‘Swift Approval’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Rock Song About Taylor Swift’s Politics

I just think the fact that the Right was so eager to assume Taylor Swift was one of them is rather amusing. Even though none of my lyrics will ever be produced, I couldn’t help myself with this one.

Swift Approval
lyrics by Shelton Bumgarner
@sheltbumgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

the Right wants to know how you think
if you slink their way
they’re ready to make hay every which way
but when news of your views arrives
there’s anything but swift approval

swift approval
she’s with The Resistance
swift approval
America’s already great
swift approval
swift approval
swift approval

never you fear
the blonde ambition is in the air
we’ll all fair quite well I believe
when her political views are laid bare
don’t get me wrong I understand their views
they dig her looks and songs

swift approval
she’s with The Resistance
swift approval
America’s already great
swift approval
swift approval
swift approval

[bridge]
Pepe had it all wrong
had his troll face out for a beer
to celebrate but he was too late
swift approval turned out to be left
when they expected a right

swift approval
she’s with The Resistance
swift approval
America’s already great
swift approval
swift approval
swift approval