by Shelt Garner
I can tell from my Webstats that growing numbers of Southerns hear the siren call of “the Lost Cause” and are stroking one out to all my ranting about a possible Second American Civil War. I’m Southern, so I’m well versed in the lingering nationalism found in Dixie. It’s so much a part of the world Southerners live in that we don’t even realize how deep the longing for the “South to rise again” really is.
Now excuse me while I shit on all that.
First of all, my dear fellow Southerners, if you really are a Neo-Confederate, you are conflating two different things. You’re mixing up what you’ve been able to get via politics with what you THINK you can get by running around murdering people. The dynamics of these two situations are very, very different. The moment a center-Right-but-not-MAGA family in the exurbs of, say, Nashville, wake up and realize they have to make an existential decision about their personal fate because fucking Neo-Confederates have forced the country to implode, the decisions they make next may surprise you.
And that’s just how you should simply be patient and at least give people a false sense of living in a free country by, maybe, just maybe, not being so fucking bloodthirsty about keeping Trump in power no matter what. You’re in a fucking personality death cult and you’re blinded by the massive self-own you’re setting yourself up for.
Now, let’s get to an even bigger problem of Neo-Confederates — your war aims. You want, in a sense, your romanticised antebellum dreams to come true. It’s not too much of a stretch to imagine MAGA-Qanon taking that to its logical conclusion and attempting to murder millions of African Americans across the South. Or, put another way — do you really think Southern blacks are going to sit back and lulz being put under the White jackboot so you can stroke one out to “Song of the South?”
The issue of race is so existential to any notion of using Dixie as the cornerstone of Trumplandia that you really, really need to slow your roll. You’re risking destroying the South AGAIN because of, what, cancel culture? Is that all you got?
And another thing — you may have a contiguous states and a lot of land, but you don’t really have the advantaged of concentrated population that Blue States have. You’re going to have to write off Red States in the Midwest and hunker down with deep Red States in the Deep South as your core. And even that will be unstable because of the race issue.
All I’m saying is — if the Neo-Confederates grow to extreme and greedy, it won’t be a civil war we’re talking about, it’s going to be a revolution in the sense that no institution — not even the Federal government — will escape the forces of creative destruction.
So, please, let’s play nice and let Biden get sworn into office peacefully if he wins. Ok? Thanks.