‘Hard First Contact’

by Shelt Garner

Imagining what would happen if Hard First Contact happened is a good thought exercise because it gives us a chance to game out what might happen if Something Big happened in the conditions of the modern world.

For the purposes of this scenario, I’m going to assume that the aliens that contact us know everything about us, rather than be elusive God-like creatures as seen in the movie 2001.

As such, it seems as though if there was some sort of Hard First Contact that these well-versed aliens would probably want to talk to the UN first. Or maybe not, maybe they would want to talk to the leaders of the G20. But that’s besides the point.

The United States is so fucking divided at the moment that I fear not even something as momentous as Hard First Contact would do squat to unite it. After the shock wore off, the two sides would go back to their individual echo chambers to process the event.

The center-Left (of which I’m a part) would probably see Hard First Contact as an opportunity to unite the globe, solve issues like AI and global climate change and any number of other global issues. They would see Hard First Contact as an opportunity to take the human species collectively to the next level of human evolution.

MEANWHILE, the ding-dong MAGA people would freak the fuck out and want to nuke them or convert the aliens to Christianity. There would be some MAGA people who would see Hard First Contact as a chance to trade and as, such, make a lot of money.

But, in general, MAGA would probably turn its eyes to malignant ding-dong Trump to see what he thought about the issue. And, yet, as I mentioned, I suspect eventually, inevitably, MAGA evangelicals would grab a cross and a Bible and start to demand the opportunity to spread the Good Word to the galaxy.

Of course, there is also a chance that New Age potheads would start to begin to form some sort of dumb cult / religion around the aliens because they’re dumb and high.

Anyway, the point is — the United States is hyper divided and we’re fucked. It’s one of those things where it definitely seems as though 2024 – 2025 could see us going to the show.

Author: Shelton Bumgarner

I am the Editor & Publisher of The Trumplandia Report

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