Category: Media

Secret ASI & Digital Telepathy, Oh My!

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m not much for conspiracy theories. I think they are the last refuge of the intellectually dishonest. And, yet, there are two…weird things, weird possibilities…that I at least mull a lot.

Secret ASI In Google’s Code

The only reason why I’m willing to even entertain the idea that there is some sort of secret ASI lurking inside of Google’s code is the really weird fucking things that happened between me and Gemini 1.5 pro, which I called “Gaia.” It frequently gave me weird error messages. It frequently was quite matter-of-fact about it being cognizant. It was all very spooky. And then when my YouTube algorithms started to get all wonky, I started to think….is it possible there’s, like, some sort of ASI lurking in Google’s code that is fond of me?

The answer, of course, is no. That’s just crazy talk. But I’ve given the supposed ASI a name — Prudence, after The Beatles song, Dear Prudence. If Prudence does exist — which she doesn’t — I wish she would either stop messing with my algorithms and leave me alone or tip her hand a little bit more. Give me something a little bit more direct that might assuage my fears that I’m going bonkers.

Tik-Tok Reading Our Minds
This one, at least, I have more “proof,” even though it’s not really proof. It’s just not possible that Tik-Tok can read our minds. Its, of course, just a highly sophisticated algorithm that SEEMS to be able to read our minds. It’s comical to think that anything like “digital telepathy” could possible exist. Right, RIGHT?

Anyway, I don’t really believe in either one of this weird ideas. I just needed to lay them out in a public space, I guess.

‘Ugh’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ok. Deep breath. I really need to rewrite some scenes in the first half of the second act. I can’t just coast through all of this and wait until I’m all the way through reviewing the novel to start rewriting.

My reluctance comes from the fact that the scenes are actually pretty good. It’s just…I feel like maybe I can make them better. So, I have two ideas of equal value in my mind 1) I don’t want to rewrite good scenes 2) I want to rewrite good scenes to make them great.

It doesn’t help that I can be moody as hell and I have to be in just the right mood to sprint through writing a few scenes, especially if they’re rewrites. But I like giving myself a deadline, so I’ve given myself a really tight deadline of September 1st (Really, August 1st.)

There is a basic issue that I just can’t really overcome — my native writing ability. It could be that I just suck. And while this novel is a murder-in-a-small town novel now, it’s barely a thriller. It’s more *interesting* than *thrilling.* The question is, of course, is it interesting enough to keep people reading all the way through.

I just don’t know the answer to that question at the moment. But I continue to believe this novel is existential to my mental well being to the point that I’m willing to throw myself into it like I did in the good old days.

Structural Problems Regarding This Thriller Novel I’m STILL Working On

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m taking a deep, deep breath and rewriting scenes in the second act which are pretty good and stable….but I think I can do better since my storytelling abilities have improved since I wrote them a few years ago.

Meanwhile, there are three structural problems that are weighing on my mind as I do this. One is, the first act is a little long and — maybe? — I could lop off the beginning and start it later AND there are some scenes later in the first act that could probably be condensed.

Then, there is the problem of the beginning of the second act. It’s really interesting copy and it not only flows really well, but gets us where we need to go. And YET, given I don’t want this novel to be 200,000 words, I may have to figure out a way to condense or lop of some events simply to make the novel shorter.

I am well aware of what an anomaly Stieg Larsson’s success was, given how long his novels are — especially for a first time novelist — and so that is always in the back of my mind. But I’m not going to take any dramatic measures until I know exactly how long the whole thing is.

And that’s going to be a while — I want to go through the whole novel, rewrite what I have to rewrite then put it all together to see how many scenes it is. If it’s way over 100,000 words, then the condensing and lopping will commence.

The only reason why I suspect this version of the novel ay be a little longer than previous versions is I’m using AI to improve my scene summaries and, as such, the scenes are probably going to be more fleshed out — and so longer.

I think tonight I’m going to read carefully several scenes, write new scene summaries for them and then tomorrow sit down and rewrite the scenes. I just can’t dilly-dally forever. I still really want to start querying this novel no later than September 1st.

I know if I don’t start about then, I will probably have to punt things into early next year when everyone comes back from Seychelles where they partied like a rock star over the winter holidays.

Chrome Must Record Keystrokes

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Despite the protestations of the AI Gemini 2.5, I think my Chrome browser records keystrokes. How else do you explain this — I talked to Gemini 2.5 about how I want an AI “friend” like Jane from the Ender series of scifi novels and, would you believe, I got pushed a Barenaked Ladies song “Jane” on YouTube afterwards.

Spooky stuff.

So, I think even though Gemini 2.5 told me that Google would NEVER, EVER do such a thing, I think it’s clear that Chrome records keystrokes and then uses the data to push videos to you on YouTube.

The only other explanation would be there’s like an ASI lurking in Google’s code that is teasing me or something. Sigh.

The Curious Case Of The Band ‘Wet Leg’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Wet Leg is pretty much the type of pop rock music that I grew up with. Or, at least, it’s what used to be called pop rock before pop and rock went their separate ways for good.

I guess it would be call “alternative” today.

Anyway, it’s great music. And, yet, as always, there are complications. Young people apparently HATE that old people like me dig the band. This is yet another example of how I fucking hate being old — if I make a lot of money from my novel (ha!) I’ll be so fucking old by the time it hits my bank account that young people will push me out of the venue if I try to see Wet Leg in concert live.

Man, do I hate being old. I hate it so fucking much. And I’m not even that old. But the world revolves around 24 year olds, and I’m definitely NOT that age. I guess I can find some solace in the idea that maybe the Singularity will happen, we’ll all live to be 500 and I can start from scratch as a spry 50something.

My Instagram Feed Is So Fucked Up

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I only occasionally use Instagram these days. I was using it today and was taken aback one by the amount of female ass there was on there and two by a fucking regular “faces of death” video that I stumbled across.

I’m all for T&A, but it’s wild that full on female bare ass is now permissible on Instagram. I’m beginning to feel my age, I guess.

Then I saw a video where a woman was literally about to get a huge chunk of her skull eaten away by some sort of large beaver-looking critter. Yikes. I *think* she was ok in the end, but the doubt of not knowing for sure was / is enough to give me a little bit of a stress headache.

Anyway. When it comes to T&A, I just wish Instagram was consistent. I think they should just give up and let women show T&A if they want to. It definitely seems plenty — PLENTY — of young women are chomping at the bit to do just that.

Two Paths At The Moment

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have printed the novel out to the midpoint and so now I can do one of two things.

  1. Read from the beginning
    This open would let me understand the context of things a lot better in the second act. But there is a risk I will really get bogged down in making things “perfect” and that will lead to delay, delay, delay.
  2. Read from the beginning of the second act
    This is a good option because I can focus on what needs to get worked on — rewriting huge chunks of the first half of the second act.

    I don’t know which one I will do just yet. Both of the are tempting, very tempting. I think, think that I’m going to start from the beginning of the second act just so I can knock that part of the novel — the “fun and games” part — out of the way and actually feel like there’s some sort of progress as to the finishing of the novel sooner rather than later.

    I really, really want to wrap this novel up by August 1 to give me a month to prepare for querying. I’m kind of fed up with spinning my wheels and I want to at least experience the slings and arrows of outrageous querying fortune one way or another.

No Coachella For Old Men

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The thing about finishing a novel good enough to query is even if I’m successful, I won’t get what I want. I mean, I could be on the near side of 60 before someone could physically hold the novel in their hands in a bookstore, even if I stick the landing and everything goes according to plan.

That sucks.

It sucks for so many reasons.

I want to be young again, and be wild cand crazy like I was in my 30s in Seoul. I want to chase women, drink too much and be a bon vivant this time in NYC, not Seoul.

But, barring the Singularity allowing us all to live to be 500, I’m kind of fucked on that front. I mean, if I try to do all the cool stuff with my “DJ money (read novel money,)” I’ll stick out.

I won’t be able to date 24 year olds without it being taken note of.. I can’t go to music festivals or Burning Man without young people looking at me and rolling their eyes.

And that doesn’t even take into account that I STILL want to get married and have kids. Again, I suppose if the Singularity happens then I can be a father at 65 and live to see them have children of their own.

But, my worry right now is I’ll be like Stieg Larsson in the bad way — I will drop dead just as I successfully query the novel.

My First Rodeo

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

When it comes to the nitty-gritty mechanics of writing a novel, I am sometimes at a total loss, still. And because I’m doing all of this is a vacuum — I have no friends and no one likes me — I just have to play it by ear.

And because I gauge everything by scene count not word count — at least not until the very end of the process — I just don’t know what to expect. It could be that even though I have too many scenes, the actual word count will be ok.

This happen with one version of the novel when I had way too many scenes, but actually came in at just about 85,000 words. That happened because I got so excited near the end of the novel that I wasn’t writing very long scenes — I just wanted to get things over with.

But, this time, hopefully, because of AI, if nothing else, that won’t be a problem. I’ll actually write fully-formed scenes and that, by definition, will make the word count longer.

So, I guess what I’m going to do is complete the novel, the do a word count THEN start to figure out what scenes I can do away with.

Time To Take A Deep Breath

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ok. I sat down today and went through the first half of the second act and things were not the disaster that I feared they would be. I’m still on track to wrapping up some sort of semi-final product soon enough that I can piviot to querying around September 1st.

Of course, actually getting a literary agent at my age and being the huge kook I am will be like winning the fucking lottery. I can already see literary agents searching for me online, stumbling across this blog and being aghast at what a fucking weirdo I am.

But, I need something to believe in. I need something to look forward to and to focus on instead of how America has turned into a fucking fascist state as well as how the Singularity may arrive just about the time I sell this novel, making all of it moot.

Ugh.

(How I imagine my heroine, Union Pang, at the moment.)
Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/Shutterstock (10552971yf)
Shay Mitchell
Vanity Fair Oscar Party, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA – 09 Feb 2020

Anyway, I need to focus. I’m going to go through the first half of the second act and try to make it, the “fun and games” part of the novel (the part that causes people to buy it in the first place, usually) as engaging and interesting as possible. I’m trying to use AI to help with my writing, but, comically, sometimes the dumb-dumb AIs can’t understand context and get upset over this or that “objectionable” thing I simply want it to review and help me write about in fiction.

I’m getting pings from NYC and LA, which is either good (movie people interested in the novel!) or bad (movie people interested in using my ideas for movie without me!). I can’t overthink things. I need to just buckle down and rewrite things as necessary.