Life In The Time Of Garbage ‘Hot Takes’ From Republican ‘Thought Leaders’ On Twitter

Indeed.
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Wow, we wow wow. The hills are alive with some fucking garbage hot takes on the part of Republican “thought leaders” on Twitter. The wild thing about it is, these people constantly bitch and moan about being “shadowbanned,” only for me to constantly see their fucking garbage hot takes on impeachment. So many garbage hot takes are being vomited by these so-called conservative “thought leaders” that it’s difficult to keep up with them.

Erick Erickson who apparently is tight as fuck with God and Jesus — at least he keeps acting like he has them on speed dial — constantly tweet the most asinine observations about House Trump, even though he has yet — as far as I know — to say he won’t vote for Trump next year.

Meanwhile, Brit Hume has totally lost his fucking mind. He’s no longer a journalist, he’s a brazen apologist for any thing Trump does. The only difference between Hume and Sean Hannity is Hume at least pretends to be a journalist, or something. Hume’s latest garbage hot take is that because the Trump quid pro quo did not actually happen, that somehow magically absolves him any punishment because impeachment would be the “ultimate punishment.”

What the what?

There are a few other fucking insane Republican fucktards on Twitter I don’t feel like talking about their so idiotic. I look forward to them somehow defending Trump indirectly leading to anti-impeachment violence. Good times, good times.

Ugh.

Don’t Sleep On Bill Barr

Bill Barr right now.
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Bill Barr continues to be very, very quiet. I can only assume he’s going to wait until just the right moment to hand down a slew of criminal referrals that “prove” Trump’s fucking batshit insane Ukraine-Democrat conspiracy theory as the “real” origin of the Mueller investigation.

Trump’s obsession with this fucking bonkers conspiracy theory is yet another reason why we have to begin to accept that while Trump may not be an actual Russian agent, he sure is damn close to one. All I got is his needs and the needs of the Russian government overlap so well — and he’s a very dumb and greedy fucktard — that he really, really wants an excuse to pardon both Manafort and Flynn. What he would get out of this, I don’t know.

The real issue is — how successful would Barr doing this be? Probably initially, it would do exactly House Trump wants it to do — change the media narrative. But after about 24 hours of Maggie Haberman cooing about the political genius of House Trump, it would begin to sink in what an astonishing abuse of power this is.

I say this only because I’m slowly beginning to believe the impeachment train has left the station. I say this in the sense that this isn’t going down like the Mueller Report. We have Trump dead-t0-rights on impeachable behavior. So all the road blocks Trump threw in the path of the impeachment process would not likely work as well as House Trump might believe.

Growing numbers of people are so angry at Trump that the momentum is there to at least impeach him. I still think strictly on a political level, he’s going to be acquitted. But we’ve just started this process. Things are likely to grow extremely surreal on any number of levels before we finally find out Trump’s fate.

But I don’t know what’s going to happen. I still can’t get a handle on the endgame in any meaningful manner. It’s anybody’s ballgame at this point.

Some Ridiculously Nightmarish Trump Impeachment Endgame Scenarios

Uh oh.
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

I love to wallow in the absolute worst case scenario. My mom was the same way. I used to call this “opposite-positive thinking” when I was a kid — you think off the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen and when it didn’t happen, you felt better than you might otherwise.

Let’s go through some of the absolutely bonkers — and dark — Trump impeachment scenarios.

‘Trump Bit Bonkers”
Trump becomes completely unhinged. He goes transactional in his Twitter offense. He outs the Whistleblower while doxxing him. He incites anti-impeachment violence. This is the ultimate cause of his downfall, not anything he did on a political level. Trump is sane enough, however, to campaign for his hand-picked successor.

The Thousand Year Trump
Trump is acquitted, turns around and does the exact same thing again and wins. His second terms focused on calling a Constitutional Convention to “pass a balanced budget amendment.” It immediately goes rouge and codifies American Carnage in the Constitution. Darkness falls and I die in an ICE Concentration Camp.

Princess President Ivanka
Trump is somehow forced out of office. Somehow Pence is, too. But Ivanka is named Pence’s replacement at lightening speed. She becomes president and does such a bad job — topping even her father — that the conventional wisdom is we’ll never have a woman president.

Sometimes, They Come Back
Trump is convicted in the Senate, but only on the condition that he can run for president again. He promptly does so and either wins, refuses to concede or brazenly meddles in the election with the Russians, et al, and the 2020 Election is American Brexit in the sheer scope of its clusterfuckness.

Barr’s Big Day Out
The other shoe drops, Barr does sweeping criminal referrals as the impeachment process progresses. This is enough of a change in the media narrative that Trump survives and thrives.

President Pelosi Pandemonium
Somehow, magically, both Trump and Pence are force out of office politically with such speed that we get President Pelosi. Unfortunately, the economy tanks, Democrats are blamed and President Kris Kobach is sworn in on Jan. 20, 2021.

Endgame Endgame
As it becomes obvious that Trump will be convicted in the Senate, he lashes out and starts a war with the DPRK. It goes nuclear. Millions of Koreans and Americans die. What happens after that is anyone’s guess.

V-Log: The Perplexing Pause In The Whistleblower Name Outing Saga & The State of The #Novel I’m #Writing

Some thoughts.

The Curious Pause Before Our Impending Trump Whistleblower Apocalyptic Political Rock Fight

Mood Af.
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

This is curious. Apparently the Real Clear Investigation outing of the Whistleblower is far closer to the surface than I realized. Sen. Rand Paul tweeted out a link to the outing earlier today. Fox News has yet to take the bait as best I can tell.

We’re still fairly early on the process so there are weeks for fascist Republican shithead operatives to do oppo research on the Whistlebower so they can strike as just the right moment. They want the media narrative to go from “Holy shit, Trump did WHAT?” to “Holy shit, the Whistleblower did WHAT?” The thing you have to keep in mind is Republicans lulz the rule of law and are fully prepared to incite some wank job with an AR-15 to murder the Whistleblower in cold blood so they can clutched their pearls and say we have to end the impeachment process because people are getting killed. Lulz!

They want the Whistleblower to be what everyone is talking about, not Trump. They don’t care what laws they have to break to do it, either. They only care about law if they can use it to either enrich themselves, regulate women’s bodies or punish people they don’t like.

I can only suppose that we’re one Trump twitter tirade away from the poor Whistleblower being outed, doxed and murdered. Or, at least, being called in front of Senate Committee so Graham can do to him what he felt was done to Kavanaugh. Graham has been pretty fucking conspicuous with his absolute desire to reverse the quasi-successful Kavanaugh strategy against a Democrat. In Republican eyes, this would be heaven. If 35% of the population buys into the Big Lie that somehow Biden’s point-man on Ukraine conspired to bring down Trump, even though Trump did, in fact, break the fucking law on a massive scale, then, well, lulz.

Anyone who thinks Republicans give a shit about anything other than greed and power are fools. Republicans are fascists. Long-term trends are in their favor. At this point, it’s just a matter of the exact chronically. If we somehow managed to defeat Trump by convicting him in the Senate, we have — at best — one presidential cycle before President Kobach, or President Cotton or President Don Jr. finishes the job Trump started.

The only way this doesn’t happen is if Republicans really, really, really misjudge the situation and there’s a tragedy that is not only their fault, but they can’t spin. I don’t even know what that could possibly be — any major terrorist attack they would simply use as an excuse to abolish the Constitution or something.

Lulz?

My Personal Explanation For MAGA’s Overheated, Overwrought Impeachment Rhetoric

Welcome To Impeachment
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

We live in interesting times. One of the two major political parties in the United State has completely, totally lost its fucking mind. It no longer believes in liberal democracy, it no longer cares about civil society and its entire existence serves to enable the whims of one man — Donald J. Fucking Trump.

There’s a lot to unpack here, to say the least.

It used to be that go-to crazytrain thing to say was this or that Obama “scandal” was “bigger than Watergate.” This was useful in two ways. One ti signaled to the base that this was, to their thought leaders, important. Second, it made it so when people like, say, ME, started talking about something being “bigger than Watergate” on the Republican side, the average Fox News Boomer Viewer would lulz it.

Now, we have the impeachment clusterfuck. Trump did Big Boy crimes. A lot of MAGA people willfully conflate a general lack of political will to do anything about Trump’s many, many, many crimes with some sort of “innocence” on his part. At least, that’s what they say to themselves to let them sleep at night.

Republican thought leaders have a new tactic. They try to impress upon the base how absolutely serious this situation is by ranting about “civil war,”and “a coup.” This is a multi-layered strategy. On one hand it conveys how serious this is and makes old people take notice. It also is kind of FUD against the opposition — if you don’t stop fucking with Der Fuhrer, we’re going to start killing people. It also, in a down low way, opens the door to actual violence that they can both dismiss as just a crazy person’s mental instability and use as a potential messaging bludgeon to end the impeachment process full stop.

I generally feel this is a very dangerous game to play. It might make them feel good to “own the libs” this way, but when actual human beings die because of insane Republican talking points, the reaction on the part of the otherwise apathetic American populace may not be optimal for Trump’s long-term political future.

The sooner we understand that Republicans are old-school fascists and treat them as such, the sooner we take the stakes of the impeachment process as serious as they deserve. The long term prospects for liberal democracy in America are pretty dark. But for the sake of history, I’d at least like us to go down fighting on a political level.

About 240 years of freedom at least deserve that much.

As a precaution in case this site miraculously gets a lot of traffic, I’m going to start posting some of these posts to Medium.com as well.

So What’s The Delay On MAGA Shitheads Outing The Trump Whistleblower?

Can’t impeach Trump if you’re talking about the whistleblower, now can you?
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

When last we saw the rabid racist misogynist mob that is MAGA, they were teeheeing about learning the identity of the Trump whistle blower. As is my nature, I assumed the absolute worst-case scenario. And, as is also often the case, that worst-case scenario did not happen.

For the moment, outside of bullshit echo-chamber of the extreme Far Right, the Whistleblower continues to enjoy a measure of “practical obscurity.” This likely to change at any moment, however. I suspect what may be happening is two things. One, for the moment cooler heads have prevailed given that it’s like, a Federal crime and stuff, to out someone like the so-called Orange Crush. But I suspect I’m giving the shit head Republican leadership way, way, way too much credit. They’re probably doing extensive oppo on the guy was we speak.

They already have a few days worth of talking points built-in. Apparently the guy has some job-related connection to both Joe Biden and….gasp…Susan Rice. Republicans just babbling about that at the top of their lungs at every opportunity would cause Maggie Haberman of The New York Times to ever-so-seriously tell hayseed rubes like me in fly overstates that OBVIOUSLY Republicans are winning the impeachment messaging battle and Trump’s political genius shines through yet the fuck again. And, besides, you didn’t even read the link, did you, dipshit.

And that, in itself, may be true to a certain extent. But the issue of how, exactly, the poor guy’s name will be pushed into the mainstream is, in itself, a significant issue. I still think Trump, who has the willpower of a 2-year-old will blurt the name on Twitter one morning and “joke” that MAGA should teach the guy a lesson about crossing House Trump. (Or some sort of bullshit dog whistle nonsense.)

There’s a good chance the guy will be murdered in cold blood by a over zealous MAGA asshole with an AR-15 and then Republicans will have to, at long last, defend Trump murdering someone (indirectly.) They will say that Trump was joking and that he can’t be held responsible for the actions of someone who is obviously mentally unstable. But they will also babble on about how OBVIOUSLY we can’t continue the impeachment proceedings because people are getting hurt.

I would like to think this messaging won’t work but for maybe about 24 hours. As it sinks in what has just happened, you might see that only base-concentric political strategy come back to bite Trump and his sycophantic Republicans in the ass. What good is a cult base if the entire non-cult electorate hates you on an visceral level. I guess Republican Senators will believe that as long as they can get past the primary they still have a good shot in the general. And, of course, they must at least have some hope that a politically pardoned Trump will AGAIN directly meddle in the 2020 election and save their ass that way.

Remember, the moment Trump is acquitted, he’s going to become extremely brazen. He will bribe Electors. He will pardon anyone he wants to pardon. He will indict Joe Biden (or whomever). He will at last be free of any semblance of political restraint. The ICE Camps will be weaponized and he will began to rant about the need for a new Constitutional Convention to “balance the budget.”

I guess the point is, the stakes could not be higher when it comes to impeachment. The Republicans are so craven that they simply will not be able to control themselves now that they now the Whistleblower’s name. It’s just a matter of how and when at this point. They crave the opportunity to “kavanaugh” him to such an extent that Maggie Haberman is writing story after story about the poor guy’s character flaws since birth. The risk is, of course, that things will get out of control because, well, Donald Fucking Trump is a ranting lunatic.

The clock is ticking.

I welcome feedback. If you ain’t got haters, you ain’t poppin.

migukin (at) gmail (dot) com.

Fuck MAGA. Fuck Trump.

Trump Whistleblower Pandamonium Cheat Sheet

Truth.
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Right now, deep in the dark bowls of the fascist Republican Party, an army of oppo men are digging through the bio of the Trump whistleblower. They know they have a deadline — when the House has its first serious impeachment vote.

There goal is to end stop the vote altogether or to blunt its impact in the eyes of the base.

So, here’s what to look for today.

Does Trump just…tweet it out?
Does he get really excited and simply start ranting about the poor guy the moment he finds out who it is? He doesn’t care that it’s against the law to do so, he may simply start ranting about it without even thinking about it. Remember, all that matters is power for power’s sake and messaging the base. Everyone, and everything, else can fuck off.

How cocky are House Republicans today?
The reason why I think the name is going to pop out far sooner today than we realize is it gives House Republicans something to pivot to whenever they’re asked about Trump’s many, many, MANY crimes. So, they’re going to either be really cocky or they’re going to be chomping at the bit to talk about the guy…which is why I think Trump’s going to make it easy for them to do it. Things may grow extremely surreal when what Republicans think is going to happen — that impeachment comes to a grinding halt — does not, in fact, happen.

The public’s reaction
Usually, it takes 24 hours for us to be able to gauge the public’s reaction. There’s a chance that Nancy Pelosi may sense some nervousness in her caucus and delay the vote — and maybe never even hold it. It will be just like after the “bad optics” of Mueller’s testimony . We’ll know Trump’s a criminal but there simply won’t be the political will to do anything about it….AGAIN. It may be she chokes for no other reason than she needs time to whip her caucus to keep going.

And, just for the record, if you’re some sort of dipshit fuck face MAGA person reading this gleefully — fuck you, you fucking piece of shit.

Bonfire Of The Vanities — The Trump Whistleblower’s Name As 2019’s ‘Blue Dress’

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

So how does it happen? How does this poor guy’s name bounce into the mainstream media? The only reason why I think it’s going to happen within 24 hours is Republicans want to be able to rant about it as the House does its first serious impeachment vote.

The closest approximation in the past to what’s going on is the window between when Matt Drudge reported the Blue Dress and when it bounced into the mainstream press. The Blue Dress was the first time when there was a pretty big difference between what “normal” people knew and what people with Internet access knew. In fact, I think this is a prime example of how history doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

There are likely too endgames. Either Trump doxes the guy tomorrow in a manic tweet storm, or it slowly builds to a boil during the course of the day. Just about the time the actual vote happens, the guy’s name will be widely known enough that Republicans will scream at the top of the lungs that it’s all a Deep State plot on the part of Joe Biden and why isn’t Hunter Biden in jail yet?

This is where things may get interesting. About 35% of the electorate will think that impeachment is over. We know the whistleblower is just a partisan hack and so that means Trump’s politically pardoned AGAIN, right? He can get on the phone with MBS in Saudi Arabia, Little Rock Man in North Korea or Putin in Russia and have them directly hack into our election systems without anyone caring, right? Meanwhile the rest of the electorate will, after about 24 hours of processing this bullshit, be ready to rock and roll.

This will be a very tragic and surreal moment in our nation’s political history because when what 35% of the electorate thinks should happen, doesn’t happen, they’re going to freak out. And the one person likely to freak out the most is Trump himself. That’s why I think he will get so worked out about who the whistleblower is, that he may say what to him is a throwaway line, but to some crazed MAGA person is a, “Hey, go kill that guy for me, ok?”

I honestly don’t know what is going to happen. While messaging to the base for fascist Republicans is far, far, easier now, the average non-MAGA person is not going to follow their weird logic whereby if someone is connected to your political enemy, you somehow are granted immunity to whatever crime you commited.

I guess theoretically it could go either way. But, I don’t know. I think even Chris Wallace MIGHT have a tough time giving Trump a political pardon on this one. And, yet, maybe not. Maybe I’m so wrapped up in the anti-Trump mob mentality of Twitter I’m missing something obvious about Nancy Pelosi’s political calculations.

Maybe Trump will be on the phone with Putin Friday afternoon, bragging about how he bested Nancy Pelosi yet again and how he is looking forward to Putin hacking into our election system….again.

Wargaming The Coming Trump Whistleblower Clusterfuck

This is America.
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelton Bumgarner
@bumgarls

Some observations.

This news broke the night before the first serious impeachment vote. This gives all House Republicans more than enough cover to vote against it.

Republicans may have learned the wrong lesson from the Mueller Report. They think this will drain support for impeachment. They think everything will go back to normal and Trump will be politically pardoned AGAIN so he can turn around and to exactly the same shit by Friday afternoon. While this is — I guess – at least a possibility, it seems at least from what I can tell that the impeachment train has, in fact, left the station.

There’s a real danger Trump is both so stupid and so craven that he will tweet out a 21 Century version of, “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?” He will “accidently” dox the poor guy and he ends up dead. The Republican talking points will be three fold. Trump was “joking,” he can’t be held responsible for the actions of a mentally ill person, and we have to end the impeachment process because people are starting to die.

This may work with The New York Times‘ Maggie Haberman for about 24 hours. But I suspect that this won’t hold much water with the average person who is isn’t on Twitter and is too busy paying their mortgage to care about impeachment. Should there be any type of impeachment-related violence then guess who most people will hold responsible — it’s not going to be Nancy Pelosi. Though you know that’s exactly what every Republican is going to scream at the top of their lungs. I guess it might work? But I have at least a modicum of faith in my fellow Americans not to fall for that bullshit.

But, really, the battle lines are now drawn. Either you are so partisan that you think it’s “game over” for impeachment because the whistleblower worked with Joe Biden and Susan Rice as part of his job, or you don’t. Either you believe in the rule of law, or your a Republican MAGA fascist.

We’re entering the political equivalent of Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s Two Tribes video. This is now a political war for the ages. I still suspect that Trump is going to completely lose his fucking mind in a rather spectacular fashion before all of this is over. But I could be wrong.

Buckle up.