The Anna Marie Tendler – Kacey Musgraves – Olivia Munn Imbroglio Plot Thickens


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

At the moment, I’m kind of living my life in oblivion. I could walk off the face of the earth right now and it would take a few days for anyone to notice what had happened — this is actually quite literal at the moment. Anyway, because of this, it’s the little things that make me sit up and take notice.

And one of those little things is a serious uptick in people interested in my brief post about the connection between Anna Marie Tendler and Kacey Musgraves. And by connection, I mean Olivia Munn. I really like all the women involved in this clusterfuck and I struggle to understand exactly what happened.

But what I do know is Kacey Musgraves’ latest album, “star-crossed” is about her divorce to Ruston Kelly who was banging Olivia Munn at just about the same time Musgraves’ heart wrenching album was being produced. So, there is a direct link between the two women — Olivia Munn.

The thing about Munn is — I have no idea how much of a homewrecker she is and how much of an opportunist she is. Did John Mulaney cheat with Munn while he was with Tendler, or was it more everything was falling apart by that point and Munn was nothing more than an opportunist?

That’s something that’s something that has yet to be determined.

Anyway, the rest why I’m getting an uptick in traffic — I think — is Musgraves commented on Tendler’s latest Instagram post and people are searching the Internet curious about why this happened.

I think that’s what’s going on.

It’s all very interesting, to say the least.

‘Rooms in the First House’ #Pop #Rock #Lyrics Inspired By The Name Of Anna Marie Tendler’s Art Showing



I’m just letting off some steam when it comes to this. I need to buy a guitar and actually try to see if I can write lyrics that might, in some way actually be preformed. But I want to buy a nice Nikon camera instead, so, this is just me screwing around. It’s a quick creative fix.

Rooms in the First House
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

this home was once my heart
now I just don’t know where to start
I dart from room to room
the rooms in the first house
the rooms in the first house
the rooms in the first house

I feel lost
and cast about in these rooms
thinking of how we used to laugh
and how all I can do now is cry
at all the lies I was told
they’re a sight to behold

the rooms in the first house
bloom with my tears now
when will it all end I cry
is there nothing left to say
but I have to live with my grief
in the
in the
rooms in the first house
rooms in the first house
rooms in the first house

(bridge)
give me a second to clear my thoughts
the second time is the charm
or maybe the third
will you come back to play pretend
I just don’t know
will this grief fade
maybe if I get laid

but for now I reside in the
rooms in the first house
rooms in the first house
rooms in the first house

‘Girl In The L.A. Snow:’ #lyrics To #Pop #Rock Song


Some people tweet interesting Zillow finds, I write lyrics to songs that will never be performed. Something about the quick creative hit of writing a poem meant to be sung is very relaxing. Anyway, this one comes from me wondering how Anna Marie Tendler could possibly be in the snow in L.A. Of course, duh, she wasn’t — the picture is set to be DISPLAYED in L.A. Anyway, this one turned out well.

Girl In The L.A. Snow
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

sliding in the snow
she struggles with what she sees
snow in L.A. doesn’t come easy
and neither does she
but here it is all around her
snow in L.A.
snow in L.A.
snow in L.A.

she’s wearing red
thinking of the men
who want to get her in bed
the snow is cold in her hands
but she feels so warn between her legs
the heat of the moment
being just a girl in the snow
is making her hot
don’t you know

staring into the whiteness of scene
this is just her world
but she can see, see, see
no barns to fear or painted red
she’s the artist of her own life
’cause she’s just a girl in
the snow in L.A.
the snow in L.A.
the snow in L.A.

(bridge)
she feels the summer in her soul
her heart is the sun
it’s on a roll
the darkness of grief will flee
just give her some time to meet it
head to head
so she doesn’t think of him
giving head

she’s just a girl in
the snow in L.A.
the snow in L.A.
the snow in L.A.
the snow in L.A.

Never Underestimate The Power of Great Art Generated From Agony: Anna Marie Tendler Is Winning The Parasocial Fan War


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The dark, personal art that Anna Marie Tendler is generating from her obvious agony over her break up with John Mulaney is devastating. It’s jarring it’s so good. The only time I did anything similar — to date — is the various creative things I started generating after Annie Shapiro brought back ROKon Magazine without me in late summer 2007.

What happened, when, with these two?

But, let me be clear, there was a LOT going on with me at this particular time. Something about the initial collapse of ROKon Magazine did a serious number on me mentally and emotionally to the point where I was non-functioning. All I did was go to work and listen to Radiohead all day. So, given how great her version of the magazine was, it was kind of like I left the keys in an idling car and she just had the spunk to do something with it while I was on the side of the road staring out into space.

One thing I will note is — I would like a tick-tok on the specific events (from a neutral observer ) as to when Munn started dating Mulaney. Usually, when someone goes through a break up, you at least wait a little bit before you swing through for a booty call. But, from what I can tell, Munn was on Mulaney’s doorstep with flowers and that tight ass of hers the moment she knew he was separated.

Anyway, the point is — while I’m still very empathetic to Mulaney’s situation, given how Olivia Munn kind of swooped in as soon as possible — the whole thing is just icky. Though, unlike some very opinionated people on Tik-Tok, I think he did the right thing by going on Late Night to talk about what happened. It was better to slice that particular boil ASAP, rather than have the mystery linger in the public’s mind.

I hope someone is keeping a close eye on Ms. Tendler. Severe grief is almost like a drug in its own way. It definitely changes your self-perception, no matter what. But she’s tough, I’m sure she can bounce back a lot quicker than me. It’s been over 10 years and I’m still rattled by the failure of ROKon Magazine.

Annie Shapiro

‘Dinner In March:’ #Pop #Rock #Ballad #Lyrics Inspired By Anna Marie Tendler’s Art


I feel so bad for Ms. Tendler. Because of what happened between me and the late Annie Shapiro in Seoul, I can, in my mind and heart, kind of square the circle of what is going on between she and her ex-husband and his new baby mama. I can see in my mind, in three dimensions what’s going on in this tragedy. Anyway, I’m very inspired by her devastating photography and, hence, here are some lyrics. I don’t know anything about music. From my point of view, this is just a quick hit of creativity that elevates my serotonin. I would also like to note that Prince is an amazing lyricists. I used Nothing Compares 2 U as a guide as to how to write these lyrics and it was TOUGH!

Dinner In March
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

hang my head in shame
wondering if I’m being way too lame
dinner is set
time marches on like a drumb
it’s just me now I’m afraid
for this
dinner in march

I eat my dinner alone now
at any time of day
I can start it at noon
and zoom right through
or day drink myself into
a state of disgrace

while the wine flows I whine
to myself about what could have been
was I good enough (for you)
was I too good (for you)
how could I have changed it all
for the better, for the better

(bridge)
april will come
you’ll be by my side
or not
I’m going to have to let it slide
while I eat my dinner in march alone

dinner in march
dinner in march
dinner in march
dinner in march
dinner in march

I’m Beginning To Believe Anna Marie Tendler Didn’t Revenge Fuck Timothee Chalamet


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

While I would be all “you go girl” snap snap snap if she did, I’m beginning to think the blind item suggesting Anna Marie Tendler revenge fucked Timothée Chalamet is a combination of fan service and media mind fuck.

The reason why I think is, it just seems a little bit too on the nose for this tale of star crossed lovers. It seems like just the thing for Tendler Stans to get all worked up about on Tik-Tok. It’s a revenge fantasy for girls like this:

Or not. Maybe I’m wrong.

But I also went through — in a very, very small fashion — a similar high profile breakup (with Annie Shapiro in Seoul) and we were very very vicious to each other within the expat community. It’s easy to imagine her allies planting such a blind item knowing that John Mulaney would see it and it would tear him up.

Again, I’m probably wrong.

The only reason why I keep writing about this is the United States is careening towards a potential autocracy or civil war and, lulz, this is a teeny-tiny bit less weighty than that clusterfuck.

Wait, Did Anna Marie Tendler Fuck Timothee Chalamet?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

When she’s not posting devastating post-break up images to Instagram, is it possible that Anna Marie Tendler has time to bang every wine aunt’s wet dream Timothee Chalamet?

I find this suggestion very dubious. But, maybe? Stranger things have happened, I guess. And either the sex was great or it was VERY BAD. There’s no way someone could be going through as break up as horrific as Ms. Tendler’s without one of those two results being the endgame.

It’s not like it would have been just revenge sex. It would either have been Oh My God, What Have I Done Sex, or Revenge Sex. No in between. Anyway, it’s all very curious. This whole thing continues to get more and more messy.

Anna Marie Tendler, I, Too, Know Something About Grief


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

So, way back when, I was very angry at a young woman named Annie Shapiro. This was probably mid-2007. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to going through a divorce. The expat magazine we started, ROKon, had failed and then she, in secret, brought it back.

And it was good.

It was really good.

I was working at a newspaper for children learning English called The EduTimes. I liked to tell people I had five days to do two days worth of work. So, with those three extra days, I would sit at my desk and listen to the following song on YouTube.

I’m not saying my experience with grief is special or different or that you should listen to me. But given how devastating and moving Anna Marie Tendler’s photos documenting her grief are, I thought I’d share.

But I will say, my grief about the end of my tumultuous relationship with Annie and what happened with the magazine emotionally kneecapped me for about a decade. A decade!

I’m slowly beginning to feel a lot better. I just wish Annie was still alive for us to have some sort of rapprochement. She was one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met and she changed my life.

RIP, my little wood nymph.

‘All Crushed Out:’ #Pop #Rock #Ballad #Lyrics


Jesus Christ no one cares about me at the moment. But this is a pleasant way to relax this evening — trying to convey what the pictures of Anna Marie Tendler make me feel in verse. No one cares. But the titles of her photos do lend themselves to be song titles.

All Crushed Out
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

my heart still beats
but my soul is crushed out
the blood still flows
just as fast
but my heart’s just not in it
everything is smashed
everything is
all crushed out
all crushed out

crushed, crushed

don’t know what happens next
I haven’t got a guess
when you were by my side
I would let out a sigh
but now just cry, cry, cry
if you ever return what will I do
everything is smashed
everything is
all crushed out
all crushed out

(bridge)
put it all back together
I pray to heaven above
maybe if I rub a lamp
everything will return
to the way it once was
but I know that’s just crap

everything is smashed
everything is
all crushed out
all crushed out
all crushed out
all crushed out

‘A Room That Once Was:’ #lyrics to a #pop #rock #ballad


I know something about the power of grief. What I don’t know is anything about how to put words to music. I know the words part, but how to fit words to music is something I’m oblivious about. I would buy a guitar and learn, but I’ve decided that photography will be my second creative “track.” Anyway, the photos of grief that Anna Marie Tendler is producing in despair over her recent divorce is something I can related to. The late Annie Shapiro went through something of a divorce because of ROKon Magazine and it took me – gulp — a lot longer than I would like to admit for me to get over it. Anyway, the title of these lyrics comes from the photo I’ve linked to.

A Room That Once Was
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

this is a room that was once a home
it filled our hearts with hope
we believed it was for a dream
but it was just a nightmare
it was all a lie
you looked me in the face
told me you would never leave

I believed you I did
now I’m at a loss to what happens next
I turn the light on to this room
we christened its hardwood floor
thinking we might make a baby

a room that once was a home
but is just a hole
a hole in my heart
a room that once was (a home)
a room that once was (a home)
a room that once was (a home)

(bridge)
I try to read in the room
really I do
but dread is too powerful for me to
so I don’t know what to do
maybe you can tell me
in your new enlightment
you’re going to be a father
I hear
oh dear
all I have is

a room that once was
a room that once was
a room that once was
a room that once was