Playboy, Call Britney Spears Already


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I really feel for Britney Spears. She’s obviously got continuing mental problems and she needs our compassion. She’s pregnant now and I wish her the best. But there is one thing going on that needs to be addressed — Britney Spears apparently desperately wants to be in a nude spread somewhere.

She keeps posting near-nude images of herself on Instagram.

Playboy, call this woman.

I’m old enough to remember how there was, at one point, a time in Playboy’s existence when it was the go-to publication for older women to get naked pictures of them taken.

Obviously Playboy has lost its cultural relevance, but for the sake of Britney Spears sanity, maybe they should reach out to her and give her the venue she craves for a nude spread.

Anyway. Go girl. I will note, in closing that I wish Spears would switch up her image some. Go brunette. Change her make up some. She’s a beautiful woman, but she seems to be clinging to her teenage dream image long after that isn’t relevant.

I say that not as a sexist, but as a novice image consultant. Other pop stars change their public persona at an alarming rate, Spears hasn’t gone through any similar transformation in the entity of her 20 year career.

‘Free Woman Energy’ — #Lyrics to a #Pop #Rock Song

Just screwing around. This is a homage to Britney Spears saying she’s got “free woman energy” now. I find writing lyrics very relaxing and today has been a depressing day, so, lulz.
Free Woman Energy
lyrics by Shelt Garner

@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

she’s free now of the past
can make your own decisions
no one to tell her what to do
no longer a slave for you
’cause she’s got her papers
with

free wonman energy
never felt better
free woman energy
never felt better
she’s ready for the next step
free as can be
free as can be
free as can be

people wanted to keep her down
all they wanted was a frown
but things have changed
no doubt about it
she’s no longer under their thumb
she’s free as can be
no longer on the run

free wonman energy
never felt better
free woman energy
never felt better
she’s ready for the next step
free as can be
free as can be
free as can be

(bridge)
the past could come back
it’s always a risk
bondage could return
in the dead of night
but don’t you fret
she’ll return on a bet

to her
free woman energy
free woman energy
free woman energy
free woman energy