Tag: expat life

I Still Really Miss South Korea, Redux

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It has been a very long time since I was in South Korea. And, in all honesty, I don’t really think about it that much. At least, until, of course, I see someone from South Korea did something like search my name on LinkedIn.

Then I start to remember all that fun (and bullshit.)

Going to South Korea really, really, really changed my life for both the better and the worse. There is definitely a before South Korea me and an after South Korea me. You can even see it in the photos of me taken before, during and after that time in my life.

Anyway.

The way it’s going, I’m going to be in my 60s or 70s — if even then — before I ever get out of the country, much less back to South Korea. I sometimes muse that if North Korea ever collapsed the country would be so desperate for English teachers that even a bad English teacher (at least for little kids) could get job there.

But I probably shouldn’t worry about such things. I have to accept that barring something REALLY unexpected, that I’m never, ever going back to South Korea. It was a long time ago and nobody cares anymore.

This Is A Surreal Situation

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Not since that brief moment in Seoul when ROKon Magazine was the only English-language magazine in the city (for the average expat) have I felt this much promise in something creative I’m involved in.

The idea that I would be actually ahead of the curve when it comes to writing a story about sort of an android Annie Hall (who at some point becomes a stripper) is rather surreal. The big question is will there be a flood of such android manic pixie dreamgirl *wink* stories in 2026 to the point that while I’m querying this novel this little sliver of opportunity I have will be all very moot before it’s over with.

I just don’t know.

The key thing is I’m writing a novel, not a screenplay (even though if I was 25 years younger that’s exactly what I would be doing.) So, as such, the dynamics are a little bit different.

If there was a movie made of this novel, I think Rachel Sennott would be perfect as my female (android) romantic lead.

It could be that there will be room enough in the zeitgeist for a flood of such movies and novels and just because my idea is one of many, doesn’t mean it can’t be sold traditionally.

But I would be lying if I didn’t admit I am feeling very anxious about hurrying up. I really need to bhali-bhali as a Korean would say — hurry, hurry. I really want to wrap this AI-assisted beta draft up ASAP so I can turn around and have beta readers review it for me and tell me how to improve it.

There remains a chance that I really will wrap this thing up in the general April-May 2026 timeframe and will be able to query it then. What I *wish* would happen is someone in Hollywood would, in good faith, contact me and want to read what I’ve written so far so maybe we could speed the process up some.

But that’s being delusional.

It’s kind of every storyteller for themselves at this point and I’m just an old(er) loudmouth crank slaving away in the middle of nowhere.

At Least In South Korea People Cared About Me

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

At lot — a LOT — of pretty dramatic and shitty stuff happened to me while I was in South Korea. Horrific stuff on an emotional basis. But as I continue to have lingering grief over all that bullshit, one thing remains — at least people cared about me back then.

Now, not so much.

I sometimes fear I that my time in Asia is kind of it. The highpoint of my life, period.

I have a lingering desire to return to South Korea one last time. Just to walk around my old haunts.

And, yet, I also know that, lulz, everything will have changed if I go back. To the point that it will be all — on an emotional basis — moot. Only a few South Koreans might remember me and that’s about it.

I still idly daydream about going back, though. And, sometimes, on occasion, I have a hunch that someone in South Korea is thinking about me really hard. And, what’s more, occasionally, someone from from South Korea pings this blog.

It doesn’t happen as often as it used to, of course.

Now, I just think about how all that craziness was a long time ago and nobody cares anymore.

It Feels Like Someone In Asia Is Thinking About Me A Lot

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Sometimes, I find myself thinking about South Korea a lot and it feels like it’s because someone there is thinking about ME a lot. I’m not one to believe in such things, but it is interesting that randomly, and seemingly for no reason, I’ll just start to thinking really intensely about my time in Asia.

It’s been so long since I was in Asia that if anyone was thinking about me a lot, it probably would be a South Korean. I was a man on fire for much of my time in South Korea and I’m sure I made some very memorable experiences for a few South Koreans here and there.

Anyway. I don’t know why I even wrote any of this. It’s just magical thinking. I really do hope to visit South Korea at least once before I drop dead.

Daydreaming About A Return To Asia One Day…Eventually

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The way things are going, I’m just not going to return to Seoul anytime soon. But that doesn’t stop me from daydreaming about where I might go if I did. Of course, whenever I did return to Seoul I’ll be so old that it’ll be difficult to have any fun.

But here are some places I’d like to see again.

Haebangchon
This was the neighborhood that changed my life. I have a lot of fond memories and lot of bad memories from all my carousing there. I think returning there will be a huge let down because I’m not as cute as I used to be and I won’t be able to chase women like I used to. Sigh.

Nori Bar
I don’t even know if Nori is still open. But I’d at least like to swing by and see. I may be too old for them to let me in (Seoul clubs sometimes do that.) Who knows.

Anyway, it will be years before I can return to Asia. I still have a downlow, lingering desire to backpack around Southeast Asia. But, again, I’m so old. So very, very old, relative to my time in Seoul. Sigh.

I Think If I Fall Into Some Money Before I Croke I’ll Backpack Across Southeast Asia

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m demonstrably bonkers, so this is something of a daydream, but I do idly like the idea of backpacking across Southeast Asia at some point. There are many — MANY — reasons why I just will never be able to this. But, that doesn’t stop me, on a conceptual basis, gaming out how I might do it.

I first became away of the idea of backpacking across Southeast Asia from the woman who told me about teaching in South Korea for the first time. It wasn’t until just recently — about 20 years after the fact — that it occurred to me how cool it would be to do it.

I like the idea because there would just be so many different things to think through. How much money I would need. What to put in my backpack. Where to start and end, all that type of stuff is fun.

Of course, I’m old now and even if sell a breakout hit novel, I could be about 60 before I would have the funds to do such a thing. And that doesn’t take into account that I’m totally bonkers and there would be a lot of risks involved with a crazy person like me walking across the vast landscape of Southeast Asia by my self.

So, for now, it’s just an idle daydream.

A Mild Disturbance In The Force

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I like to think that I have “the knack” to a limited degree and I feel a tinge of something out of sorts in the universe. I don’t know what it is, but I feel like something I don’t know about is happening that I would find of interest if I did know about it.

Then, for some reason, I also find myself thinking about South Korea — specifically Seoul — and the late, great Annie Shapiro. I still can’t believe that woman is dead. It just blows my mind. She was so manipulative and crafty that I STILL have a 10% belief that she faked her death for some reason.

She really was that sneaky.

And, yet, all indications are that she did, in fact die. At a very young age, too. It’s all very sad.

But I also think of Seoul and all the crazy things that happened to me there. It’s been so long ago that I was last in Seoul that if I ever go back, oh boy, will things be very, very different.

Which makes me feel kind of sad. But I’m also a lot different than I was when I was in Seoul. I’m older, wiser and the whole context of any new time in Seoul would be so different as to make the trip nearly moot.

As it stands, the only way I would ever probably live in Korea long-term would be if there was a war between the Koreas, South Korea won and suddenly there was a absolute need for as many English teachers as possible in what was once North Korea.

Otherwise, lulz, I probably can just visit at some point in the future. (When, I don’t know….maybe when I sell my novel?)

But I wonder what I’m feeling that is making me tinkle in my psyche. I wonder what’s going on just outside my vision.

‘Ho Hum’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Every once in a while, I’ll stop out of the blue and think, “Wow, ROKon Magazine is a bonkers story.” I’ve written a document about all that bullshit — Somehow — but I still, to this day, have a lingering hope that someone ELSE will see what a great story it is and want to do something with it.

But, as it stands, I just am going to use what happened to inspire me in my own art. And, yet, wow, just wow. The crazy things that happened from late 2006 to early 2008 in Seoul with me and the late Annie Shapiro at the center of it all — wow!

I Really Do Miss Seoul A Great Deal, Sometimes

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The crux of the issue whenever I think about Seoul is it’s obviously my youth, not Seoul itself that I miss. And I’ve Romanized my time in Seoul to such an absurd degree that I know if I ever return it will be a huge let down.

Hell, it was a huge let down the last time I was there.

But a part of me wants to return just to touch base with the place before I drop dead. Though, obviously, if, say, the DPRK collapses and there’s a sudden surge in demand for English teachers there….who knows, I might somehow, magically, find myself there?

And, yet, I have to accept some basic things — even if I suddenly become “famous” and “successful” enough to go back to South Korea some sort of conquering hero — that is not going to change how fucking old I am. I’m just a very, very different person than I was in late 2006 – early 2008.

If you want to read about what the fuck happened, here it is:

Somehow.docx (1)Download

It Was 20 Years Ago Today…

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Today, 20 years ago, was my first full day in South Korea. It was the single most dramatic changes in my life, ever. Even more than my first day at college. I really did go from “zero to hero.”

But that was all a long time ago. Lulz, nothing matters. I just have to buckle down and get back to work on my novel(s.) I am angry again that nobody takes my writing seriously.

I know I got a sold three or so novels in me. The only problem is, of course, that, lulz, the world may come to an end before all is said and done — I may never get the chance to query the novels. Below is a link to the craziness that happened a few years later I arrived in South Korea.

Somehow.docxDownload