When I “divorced” the late Annie Shapiro at the end of my version of ROKon Magazine, she got “Talking Crap.”
Talking Crap was a little group of would-be Algonquin Roundtable expats who drank a lot and did really funny, interesting things. They were way ahead of the curve in these little videos they used to make with their digital cameras.
Me with the late Dave Hat a long time ago in Seoul.
In hindsight, Talking Crap would probably have been huge during the social media age.
We lost a member of Talking Crap recently, Dave Hat.
Dave Hat was a great guy. He and I were, at least in my view, two sides of the same coin. And his unexpected death has really gotten me thinking about my own mortality. I’m not going to live forever and I really need to put up or shut up.
We are slowly creeping towards it being 20 years ago that the late Annie Shapiro and I started ROKon Magazine. Not a lot has happened in my life since then, sad to say. I’ve been in emotional neutral since about April, 2007.
Ugh.
But, there are signs of hope. I’m hoping to wrap up some sort of novel by spring 2026 and start to query it not later than maybe Sept 1st. I just don’t know, though. It will be interesting to see.
The premise of the novel is pretty good, if a bit dark. But I’m so moody when it comes to working on a novel I don’t know how much of that thinking it’s “dark” comes from I just sometimes don’t feel like working on anything at all for long stretches of time.
Anyway. I keep thinking about what happened to me way back when in South Korea and how I would do everything different if I had a second chance. I learned what NOT to do, that’s for sure.
Don’t fall in love with your co-founder, if you start a magazine, is one big issue. And also don’t be afraid to accept defeat and start over again in a different way.
And, yet, I think the key thing, the biggest thing, that I didn’t realize about the whole ROKon Magazine rigmarole is there is a time limit for 99% of the expats who live in South Korea. And you have no idea what your time limit is. It just strikes and you HAVE TO GO, no matter where you might be otherwise in your expat expereince.
Sigh.
I’m so much older now that if I ever return to South Korea (the way it’s going it will have to be the fallen DPRK that needs English teachers that will be how I get back) that it just won’t be as much fun. Maybe no fun at all. Sigh, sigh, sigh.
So, about 20 years ago now, I started ROKon Magazine. It is the greatest story never told, in my opinion. Anyway, if I was an expat in Seoul now, I would start a podcast.
What I would do is, we would have a regular podcast — maybe once a week — and then as part of that podcast, we would have a regularly updated Website that would have content that would otherwise be in a magazine.
There would be a symbiotic relationship between the podcast and the Website.
Too bad the only way I’m ever going back to Korea it looks like at this point is if North Korea collapses and there’s a dire need for English teachers there. Otherwise, I will be 80 years old before I can return (unless I somehow finish and sell this novel I’m working on.)
It has been a very long time since I was in South Korea. And, in all honesty, I don’t really think about it that much. At least, until, of course, I see someone from South Korea did something like search my name on LinkedIn.
Then I start to remember all that fun (and bullshit.)
Going to South Korea really, really, really changed my life for both the better and the worse. There is definitely a before South Korea me and an after South Korea me. You can even see it in the photos of me taken before, during and after that time in my life.
Anyway.
The way it’s going, I’m going to be in my 60s or 70s — if even then — before I ever get out of the country, much less back to South Korea. I sometimes muse that if North Korea ever collapsed the country would be so desperate for English teachers that even a bad English teacher (at least for little kids) could get job there.
But I probably shouldn’t worry about such things. I have to accept that barring something REALLY unexpected, that I’m never, ever going back to South Korea. It was a long time ago and nobody cares anymore.
Not since that brief moment in Seoul when ROKon Magazine was the only English-language magazine in the city (for the average expat) have I felt this much promise in something creative I’m involved in.
The idea that I would be actually ahead of the curve when it comes to writing a story about sort of an android Annie Hall (who at some point becomes a stripper) is rather surreal. The big question is will there be a flood of such android manic pixie dreamgirl *wink* stories in 2026 to the point that while I’m querying this novel this little sliver of opportunity I have will be all very moot before it’s over with.
I just don’t know.
The key thing is I’m writing a novel, not a screenplay (even though if I was 25 years younger that’s exactly what I would be doing.) So, as such, the dynamics are a little bit different.
If there was a movie made of this novel, I think Rachel Sennott would be perfect as my female (android) romantic lead.
It could be that there will be room enough in the zeitgeist for a flood of such movies and novels and just because my idea is one of many, doesn’t mean it can’t be sold traditionally.
But I would be lying if I didn’t admit I am feeling very anxious about hurrying up. I really need to bhali-bhali as a Korean would say — hurry, hurry. I really want to wrap this AI-assisted beta draft up ASAP so I can turn around and have beta readers review it for me and tell me how to improve it.
There remains a chance that I really will wrap this thing up in the general April-May 2026 timeframe and will be able to query it then. What I *wish* would happen is someone in Hollywood would, in good faith, contact me and want to read what I’ve written so far so maybe we could speed the process up some.
But that’s being delusional.
It’s kind of every storyteller for themselves at this point and I’m just an old(er) loudmouth crank slaving away in the middle of nowhere.
At lot — a LOT — of pretty dramatic and shitty stuff happened to me while I was in South Korea. Horrific stuff on an emotional basis. But as I continue to have lingering grief over all that bullshit, one thing remains — at least people cared about me back then.
Now, not so much.
I sometimes fear I that my time in Asia is kind of it. The highpoint of my life, period.
I have a lingering desire to return to South Korea one last time. Just to walk around my old haunts.
And, yet, I also know that, lulz, everything will have changed if I go back. To the point that it will be all — on an emotional basis — moot. Only a few South Koreans might remember me and that’s about it.
I still idly daydream about going back, though. And, sometimes, on occasion, I have a hunch that someone in South Korea is thinking about me really hard. And, what’s more, occasionally, someone from from South Korea pings this blog.
It doesn’t happen as often as it used to, of course.
Now, I just think about how all that craziness was a long time ago and nobody cares anymore.
Sometimes, I find myself thinking about South Korea a lot and it feels like it’s because someone there is thinking about ME a lot. I’m not one to believe in such things, but it is interesting that randomly, and seemingly for no reason, I’ll just start to thinking really intensely about my time in Asia.
It’s been so long since I was in Asia that if anyone was thinking about me a lot, it probably would be a South Korean. I was a man on fire for much of my time in South Korea and I’m sure I made some very memorable experiences for a few South Koreans here and there.
Anyway. I don’t know why I even wrote any of this. It’s just magical thinking. I really do hope to visit South Korea at least once before I drop dead.
The way things are going, I’m just not going to return to Seoul anytime soon. But that doesn’t stop me from daydreaming about where I might go if I did. Of course, whenever I did return to Seoul I’ll be so old that it’ll be difficult to have any fun.
But here are some places I’d like to see again.
Haebangchon This was the neighborhood that changed my life. I have a lot of fond memories and lot of bad memories from all my carousing there. I think returning there will be a huge let down because I’m not as cute as I used to be and I won’t be able to chase women like I used to. Sigh.
Nori Bar I don’t even know if Nori is still open. But I’d at least like to swing by and see. I may be too old for them to let me in (Seoul clubs sometimes do that.) Who knows.
Anyway, it will be years before I can return to Asia. I still have a downlow, lingering desire to backpack around Southeast Asia. But, again, I’m so old. So very, very old, relative to my time in Seoul. Sigh.
I’m demonstrably bonkers, so this is something of a daydream, but I do idly like the idea of backpacking across Southeast Asia at some point. There are many — MANY — reasons why I just will never be able to this. But, that doesn’t stop me, on a conceptual basis, gaming out how I might do it.
I first became away of the idea of backpacking across Southeast Asia from the woman who told me about teaching in South Korea for the first time. It wasn’t until just recently — about 20 years after the fact — that it occurred to me how cool it would be to do it.
I like the idea because there would just be so many different things to think through. How much money I would need. What to put in my backpack. Where to start and end, all that type of stuff is fun.
Of course, I’m old now and even if sell a breakout hit novel, I could be about 60 before I would have the funds to do such a thing. And that doesn’t take into account that I’m totally bonkers and there would be a lot of risks involved with a crazy person like me walking across the vast landscape of Southeast Asia by my self.
I like to think that I have “the knack” to a limited degree and I feel a tinge of something out of sorts in the universe. I don’t know what it is, but I feel like something I don’t know about is happening that I would find of interest if I did know about it.
Then, for some reason, I also find myself thinking about South Korea — specifically Seoul — and the late, great Annie Shapiro. I still can’t believe that woman is dead. It just blows my mind. She was so manipulative and crafty that I STILL have a 10% belief that she faked her death for some reason.
She really was that sneaky.
And, yet, all indications are that she did, in fact die. At a very young age, too. It’s all very sad.
But I also think of Seoul and all the crazy things that happened to me there. It’s been so long ago that I was last in Seoul that if I ever go back, oh boy, will things be very, very different.
Which makes me feel kind of sad. But I’m also a lot different than I was when I was in Seoul. I’m older, wiser and the whole context of any new time in Seoul would be so different as to make the trip nearly moot.
As it stands, the only way I would ever probably live in Korea long-term would be if there was a war between the Koreas, South Korea won and suddenly there was a absolute need for as many English teachers as possible in what was once North Korea.
Otherwise, lulz, I probably can just visit at some point in the future. (When, I don’t know….maybe when I sell my novel?)
But I wonder what I’m feeling that is making me tinkle in my psyche. I wonder what’s going on just outside my vision.
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