Trent Reznor, You Are So Derivative — Why Did You Have To Rip Off Tori Amos On Halsey’s New Album?


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

In this instance, I don’t really anything untoward happened, but Trent Reznor was definitely thinking of straining a Tori Amos song through his NIN sensibilities.

Listen to this song by Halsey:

Then listen to this Tori Amos classic:

The only reason why this is even an issue for me for is when I hear the Halsey song, my mind finishes the song with the lyrics from Cornflake Girl and it causes some cognative dissidence.

Otherwise, lulz. I think it’s just a wink and a nod to Amos’ brillance.

But you would think that Reznor — who is no slouch himself — could be a little bit more creative.

‘Gawker’ — #Lyrics To A #Pop #Rock #Song

Just screwing around. This is meant to be the same vibe as Phoebe Bridgers.

Gawker
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

I’m just a gawker
that’s right don’t do much
in my own right
but sit back and gawk
as time walks on by
don’t do much but gawk

I’m just a gawker
I’m just a gawker
I’m just a gawker

when you’re a gawker like me
people don’t just stare they flee
don’t know what to do or say
with someone who stands and mopes
at the fate that life has wrote

I’m just a gawker
I’m just a gawker
I’m just a gawker

(bridge)
I wish action was my name
wish I was involved in the world
and yet that would be too much
for my poor old heart to take
so I just gawk

I’m just a gawker
I’m just a gawker
I’m just a gawker

‘Sucker’ — #lyrics To A #Pop #Rock #Song


I’m just screwing around with telling stories in the form of lyrics because I’m drunk enough not to care that these words will never, ever become a song anyone sings. I just need to vent. Enjoy.
Sucker
Lyrics by Shelt Garner

@sheltgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

I’m so drunk
that I need another look
maybe I’m a sucker
but I know you’re a looker
you fill my sight
with dreams of delight.
you can just call me a sucker
sucker
sucker
sucker

I try to tell you I love you
but you won’t even hold me
I look around with despair
wondering if you’ll ever be near
but I’m just a sucker
the type that you think is a fool
but we all know I rule
I may be drunk
but I’m no
sucker
sucker
sucker
sucker

(bridge)
swallow what you can
cause you know I’m your man
just give me a op-or-tun-ity
to show you my style
it will drive you wild
just don’t call me a

sucker
sucker
sucker
sucker
sucker

The Vision Thing For ‘The Pretty Reckless’


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The Pretty Reckless is one producer and one culture inflection point away from huge success. In fact, I would even go so far as to say if rock ever comes back in a sudden, big way that The Pretty Reckless are prime candidates to have an unexpected breakout hit.

The Pretty Reckless — Potential Rock ‘n Roll Saviors

The only reason why I even suggest this is possible is as of the moment, there is something of a musical genre vacuum going on. Since about 2012 we’ve been living under the hegemony of adult contemporary. It makes sense that at some point, eventually, people are going to grow tired of this dreck and look for something different — possibly old fashion rock and roll, which is what The Pretty Reckless is.

Now, some context.

The thing about this band is they’re something of a diamond in the rough. I really like them — a lot — but they’re produced in a somewhat generic manner. They’re just a rock group. To take things to the next level, they need a producer with a definite vision — my go-to rock producer for such things is Butch Vig. He did Nirvana’s “In Utero” and is the brains behind one of my favorite groups — also female vocalist led — Garbage.

It’s easy to imagine a situation where out of the blue The Pretty Reckless have a huge hit, they get a new producer and ta-da, rock is back. Of course, some of this is just me daydreaming about good music coming back, but lulz.

As a side note, I would suggest The Pretty Reckless pander to rock fans and do a cover of an unexpected Beatles song. If they came out with a rocking version of The Beatles odd-ball song “You Know My Name (Look Up The Number)” I think a lot of rock fans would eat it up.

Anyway, like I said, I think we may be doomed to living in adult contemporary hell for the rest of my life. If not even a pandemic can shake up our culture expectations, then I don’t know what can.

My Career Advice For Miley Cyrus


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The thing I notice about Ms. Cyrus is she loves to belt out songs. So, it would make a lot of sense for her to do at least one Meatloaf “Bat Out of Hell” type album where the songs are so over-the-top and theatrical that when she belts them out at the top of her lungs they’re really good.

Ms. Cyrus seems to be thrashing around a lot with different styles and genres of music. It’s like she wants to be a modern Joan Jett, but hasn’t quite figured out the right combination of songs and producers to do it.

Having said that, I think its inevitable that Ms. Cyrus is going to dabble in Amy Winehouse retro music at some point in the near future. It seems a rite of passage for your typical female pop singer that they do at least one throwback album where they get to dress like a woman in the 40s to early 60s.

I wish Ms. Cyrus would form a all-girl rock supergroup for at least one whole album. That would be cool.

‘Rona Rock:’ I’ve Seen The Face Of Pop Rock And Its Name Is Olivia Rodrigo


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve written at length about this before, but Olivia Rodrigo’s release of her album “sour” has me thinking about it again — now that the United States is getting out of the pandemic, maybe it’s time for pop rock to return.

I call this neo-pop rock, “Rona Rock.”

Let me give you some context. There are millions of old farts like me who love rock that has a beat and you can dance to. Maybe a few dozen million. And, at the moment, they are forced to listen to “classic rock.” Not a lot of new pop rock is coming out and that which is coming out is almost exclusively Miley Cyrus doing covers of old pop rock songs.

Sour is so close to being a traditional pop rock album. It still, however, lacks the edge of a true pop rock album. It’s more a POP rock album. So it seems to me that of all the popular acts out there that Rodrigo is the most likely to come out with an album produced by someone like Butch Vig of Nirvana’s “Heart Shape Box” and the band Garbage.

In fact, I would go so far as to say if Rodrigo did go that route that a lot of GenZ people would experience a significant amount of musical future shock. They wouldn’t know what hit’em.

There is another, safer, direction that Rodrigo could go that would be almost just as good — the Nelly Furtado option of teaming up with someone like Timbaland. The album they did together is one of my favorites of the Before Times when some form of pop rock still existed.

And, yet, I doubt this will happen in any way. It’s too risky for an established act to make such an abrupt break with existing musical tastes. If my dream of “Rona Rock” is going to happen, it’s going to happen because a pop rock song becomes unexpectedly popular on Tik-Tok.

‘Canceled’ — #Lyrics To A Pop Song


This is another ridiculous attempt at lyrics. But I’m just relaxing before I throw myself back into the novel tomorrow. It’s fun to try to tell a story with as few as words as possible using the conventions of a pop song.
Canceled
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

where to begin
when did you make my heart swim
I know how it ended though
it was when you canceled our love
one night on the phone

don’t you sweat
I’ll never forget the way I felt
when you canceled the series
in my mind of you and me so sublime
it’s the culture I’m afraid
for people me to get
canceled
canceled
canceled

but you’ll renew our vows
I know that for sure
it might be queer for me to say aloud
yet that’s just the way I am
you’re going to be mine again
no doubt about it
I will no longer be
canceled
canceled
canceled

(bridge)
renew our love is all I ask
bring it back from the past
it will be a gas
I have hope still
that we’ll enjoy its thrill

I just don’t want to be
canceled
canceled
canceled

‘Read Your Mind’ — Lyrics To A Pop Song


The idea of me successfully writing lyrics to a pop song is totally absurd at the moment– to do it right would require me learning how to play (at least) guitar and also a lot of hard work studying the marketplace and how to set words to music. But, lulz, I just want to vent some creative energy writing lyrics that will never, ever be turned into a song.
Read Your Mind
lyrics by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

don’t know if you’ll hear
but here I am about to cry
waiting for your sigh from afar
I always used to say
I could read your mind

maybe you can read mind
maybe you can read mind
maybe you can read mind

you came and went like a ship
we crashed into each other
and that was it
that was it
now I’m alone like before
wish you could hear me roar

maybe you can read my mind
maybe you can read my mind
maybe you can read my mind

(bridge)
if you were talking still
you could lay your head
on my chest
we could talk about anything
I guess

Or maybe you could read my mind
maybe you could read my mind
maybe you could read my mind

Olivia Rodrigo And The Deep Echo Of 80s Pop


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Olivia Rodrigo’s “Sour” is probably the best pop album I’ve heard in 15 years. It isn’t as danceable as maybe it could be, but it definitely seems to be something of a deep echo of 80s pop.

Every once in a while listening to Sour, I feel as though she’s so close to producing a song that The Cure might have done. It’s a testament to how musical tastes have changed that all the great pop hits of the 80s are now very niche. Young people are so interested in listening to 30 second bites of songs that they are completely oblivious to all the great songs that have come before. I keep hoping for some sort of revival of pop rock but…I’m beginning to lose hope. It definitely sees as though pop rock doesn’t exist and will never come back.

But having said all that, I really like Rodrigo’s album. She’s just a baby at 17, so she potentially has a very long career ahead of her. She’s a great singer and obviously a really good writer. (I’m assuming she wrote her songs.)

It would be nice, however, if in the future she might produce songs that “have a beat and you can dance to” like I grew up listening to.

‘Shadow Banned’ — #Lyrics To A Pop-Rock Song


Phoebe Bridgers in “Kyoto” is sooooo close to what I think of as “Rona Rock.” In fact, all that would need to happen is Miley Cyrus and Phoebe Bridgers mix and match whatever it is they’re doing right now and you would have “Rona Rock.” You would have pop rock. You would have music with a beat that you can dance to. Sadly, this will never happen. Fuck. But, anyway, here’s a quick big of doggerel from me.

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
Please give credit if you produce or perform

no one wants to read my shit anyway
but here I am cooling my heels
seeking cheap thrills
waning days are afoot
for my relvanance
’cause I’ve been

shadow banned
shadow banned
shadow banned

if you’re not careful
you’ll be taken off the platform
with no where to squeal
people don’t believe it’s true
but it is
one day they’ll see
when they’re

shadow banned
shadow banned
shadow banned

bridge
let the sun in
make things bright
we’ll scale the hights
to something out of sight
we’re done in
’cause of our sin

shadow banned
shadow banned
shadow banned