A long time ago, about 20 years ago now, I had a little magazine in Seoul, South Korea that I co-founded with a very unique woman named Annie Shapiro. To make a very long story short, the whole thing changed my life. And for years after it was all done and over with, all I could do was babble about what a great story it was.
Rache Sennott
Annie is no longer with us (RIP) but her memory remains. And if there ever was a movie made of the ROKon Magazine imbroglio, I think Rachel Sennott would be PERFECT to play Annie.
Perfect. Just Perfect.
But, alas, I’ve finally come to realize that sometimes great stories just fade away, never to be told.
Not since that brief moment in Seoul when ROKon Magazine was the only English-language magazine in the city (for the average expat) have I felt this much promise in something creative I’m involved in.
The idea that I would be actually ahead of the curve when it comes to writing a story about sort of an android Annie Hall (who at some point becomes a stripper) is rather surreal. The big question is will there be a flood of such android manic pixie dreamgirl *wink* stories in 2026 to the point that while I’m querying this novel this little sliver of opportunity I have will be all very moot before it’s over with.
I just don’t know.
The key thing is I’m writing a novel, not a screenplay (even though if I was 25 years younger that’s exactly what I would be doing.) So, as such, the dynamics are a little bit different.
If there was a movie made of this novel, I think Rachel Sennott would be perfect as my female (android) romantic lead.
It could be that there will be room enough in the zeitgeist for a flood of such movies and novels and just because my idea is one of many, doesn’t mean it can’t be sold traditionally.
But I would be lying if I didn’t admit I am feeling very anxious about hurrying up. I really need to bhali-bhali as a Korean would say — hurry, hurry. I really want to wrap this AI-assisted beta draft up ASAP so I can turn around and have beta readers review it for me and tell me how to improve it.
There remains a chance that I really will wrap this thing up in the general April-May 2026 timeframe and will be able to query it then. What I *wish* would happen is someone in Hollywood would, in good faith, contact me and want to read what I’ve written so far so maybe we could speed the process up some.
But that’s being delusional.
It’s kind of every storyteller for themselves at this point and I’m just an old(er) loudmouth crank slaving away in the middle of nowhere.
Because I’m feeling so…meh…I’m thinking about maybe doing another zine. This one would be about as basic as they come. There wouldn’t even be any photocopying involved.
Me and the late Annie Shapiro in the glory days of ROKon Magazine in Seoul.
I would just exclusively use what I had directly available.
I have no idea why I’m suddenly so interested in doing this, but maybe it’s because I feel so meh and I need something, anything to spark a little joy since working on the novel is something that kind of happens in my mental background these days.
I need something out of the ordinary something “fun interesting” to think about. I don’t want anything scary or disturbing to happen, I just want something fun-interesting that will give me something different in my life.
But I do still have the novel to work on. I need to focus on that, too. I think some of what’s going on is I’m now in the second act and I realize I REALLY need to rework things some. I can’t keep coasting.
Every once in a while, I’ll stop out of the blue and think, “Wow, ROKon Magazine is a bonkers story.” I’ve written a document about all that bullshit — Somehow — but I still, to this day, have a lingering hope that someone ELSE will see what a great story it is and want to do something with it.
But, as it stands, I just am going to use what happened to inspire me in my own art. And, yet, wow, just wow. The crazy things that happened from late 2006 to early 2008 in Seoul with me and the late Annie Shapiro at the center of it all — wow!
I’ve reached the age where even if somehow, miraculously, I fell into some money, the context would be so different as to make any dreams I had simply not obtainable.
I don’t expect to fall into any money anytime soon — I’m extremely poor — but I do mull sometimes what I would do if I had a little extra money to use. I probably would just go to Asia for two weeks, come home, and figure out what to do next with my life. But even that is debatable, given that I’m bonkers.
But there’s a chance I would go to New York City or LA for just a little stay to at least look around. LA, in particular, I think, would be a place that — if I was 20 or more years younger — I would thrive. But, I’m not. And I’m bonkers. (I don’t handle stress well.)
Yet one thing that is pretty safe if I do fall into some money before I drop dead is buying some high-end photographic equipment. I would want to prove to myself that I could do it. I’m a REALLY GOOD photographer and if I had the equipment, I think I could at least take one or two memorable photos.
And, yet, lulz. I think, barring the Singularity happening and I suddenly getting a significant life extension, that this is it. I’m just going to drift into oblivion and the only thing of note I will have done with my life is a being a DJ in Seoul and starting a long-forgotten, failed monthly magazine for expats in South Korea.
The crux of the issue whenever I think about Seoul is it’s obviously my youth, not Seoul itself that I miss. And I’ve Romanized my time in Seoul to such an absurd degree that I know if I ever return it will be a huge let down.
Hell, it was a huge let down the last time I was there.
But a part of me wants to return just to touch base with the place before I drop dead. Though, obviously, if, say, the DPRK collapses and there’s a sudden surge in demand for English teachers there….who knows, I might somehow, magically, find myself there?
And, yet, I have to accept some basic things — even if I suddenly become “famous” and “successful” enough to go back to South Korea some sort of conquering hero — that is not going to change how fucking old I am. I’m just a very, very different person than I was in late 2006 – early 2008.
If you want to read about what the fuck happened, here it is:
The key thing is even if I magically got the money to go back to South Korea — and Asia in general — at some point in the future, I wouldn’t get what I really wanted: my youth back. I would be returning to Asia a far older and far wiser person and the entire context of whatever happened would be very different.
Most everyone I remember from my time in Asia would have drifted off to a different country and the South Koreans MIGHT remember me, but I’m not so sure they would actually want to hang out with me.
I only bring this up because I keep having these long, extended dreams where I’m back in Seoul. It’s really wild. Or, I find myself daydreaming for way too long about what might happen if I ever do return.
I don’t know. This is all very speculative. I just don’t think I’m going to have the money to go back to Asia for a long, long time — probably years. And, like I said, it just won’t be the same.
I have no plans to return to Seoul anytime soon. In fact, the way things are going, I could be in my mid to late 50s before I have anywhere near the funds to do such a thing. And, even if it did happen today — I’ve waited too long.
It just won’t be as much fun.
I’m too old.
And, yet, there is a little part of me that still wants to return to Asia again just to see how my old stomping grounds are doing. I would like to see Nori Bar and Haebangchon and Itaewon again.
But I know that given how fast things move in South Korea that everything would be different in the extreme, to the point that it would all be a lulz and a huge fucking letdown.
The fact that I’m just too old to enjoy any return trek to Asia weighs heavily on my mind. It’s one of those things you just don’t really think about — that there are things you have access to in your 30s that you don’t when you’re in your 50s.
I don’t really believe in New Age bullshit, but sometimes I do find myself having a curious sensation — that someone, somewhere in South Korea (or connected to it) is thinking about me really hard.
Me, (right) in South Korea around 2004.
I know this is fantastical, but in the past, at least, around the time I have such feelings, someone will swoop in and look at this blog. It hasn’t happened — yet — but someone did download “Somehow” my 30,000 word screed about the crazy days and nights I “enjoyed” between 2006 and 2008 in connection to ROKon Magazine, Nori Bar and the late Annie Shapiro.
I dunno. I just don’t know what to tell you, folks. It’s probably nothing. It’s been about 13 years since I was in South Korea and there’s no reason to believe anyone in South Korea — even a Korean — thinks about me at all these days.
But it is all very….spooky. It does, yet again, make me want to return to South Korea (and Asia in general) one last time to see what’s up. I know South Korea well enough to know that there’s a 50 / 50 chance that if I went back to Seoul anytime soon I’d find myself with a job at Samsung training an AI.
ROKon Magazine started in late summer 2006 when I met the now-late Annie Shapiro. The whole saga / drama lasted until about 2008, if I recall correctly. If you want to read the whole messy booze-fueled drama from my POV, here it is:
The story is pretty damn interesting, if I do say so myself. But it was all a long, long time ago — nearly 20 years now, and there’s really no reason for anyone, even me, to be interested in it anymore.
I mean, I daydream about someone like Phoebe Waller-Bridge wanting to write a screenplay based on the story, but, lulz, that’s just a daydream. And I do draw upon what happened back then a GREAT DEAL for the novel I’m writing. But I just find it very curious that anyone — ANYONE — would be interested in ROKon Magazine.
And now that I’m on the cusp of querying, I wonder if white liberal women literary agents doing due diligence on me are going to be really into all my bad behavior back then. All I can say is — I’m sorry. It was a long time ago and I’ve grown so much as person relative to what happened back then that it’s like I’ve had a brain transplant.
Otherwise, you’ll just have to accept me for who I am.
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