When I “divorced” the late Annie Shapiro at the end of my version of ROKon Magazine, she got “Talking Crap.”
Talking Crap was a little group of would-be Algonquin Roundtable expats who drank a lot and did really funny, interesting things. They were way ahead of the curve in these little videos they used to make with their digital cameras.
Me with the late Dave Hat a long time ago in Seoul.
In hindsight, Talking Crap would probably have been huge during the social media age.
We lost a member of Talking Crap recently, Dave Hat.
Dave Hat was a great guy. He and I were, at least in my view, two sides of the same coin. And his unexpected death has really gotten me thinking about my own mortality. I’m not going to live forever and I really need to put up or shut up.
We are slowly creeping towards it being 20 years ago that the late Annie Shapiro and I started ROKon Magazine. Not a lot has happened in my life since then, sad to say. I’ve been in emotional neutral since about April, 2007.
Ugh.
But, there are signs of hope. I’m hoping to wrap up some sort of novel by spring 2026 and start to query it not later than maybe Sept 1st. I just don’t know, though. It will be interesting to see.
The premise of the novel is pretty good, if a bit dark. But I’m so moody when it comes to working on a novel I don’t know how much of that thinking it’s “dark” comes from I just sometimes don’t feel like working on anything at all for long stretches of time.
Anyway. I keep thinking about what happened to me way back when in South Korea and how I would do everything different if I had a second chance. I learned what NOT to do, that’s for sure.
Don’t fall in love with your co-founder, if you start a magazine, is one big issue. And also don’t be afraid to accept defeat and start over again in a different way.
And, yet, I think the key thing, the biggest thing, that I didn’t realize about the whole ROKon Magazine rigmarole is there is a time limit for 99% of the expats who live in South Korea. And you have no idea what your time limit is. It just strikes and you HAVE TO GO, no matter where you might be otherwise in your expat expereince.
Sigh.
I’m so much older now that if I ever return to South Korea (the way it’s going it will have to be the fallen DPRK that needs English teachers that will be how I get back) that it just won’t be as much fun. Maybe no fun at all. Sigh, sigh, sigh.
So, about 20 years ago now, I started ROKon Magazine. It is the greatest story never told, in my opinion. Anyway, if I was an expat in Seoul now, I would start a podcast.
What I would do is, we would have a regular podcast — maybe once a week — and then as part of that podcast, we would have a regularly updated Website that would have content that would otherwise be in a magazine.
There would be a symbiotic relationship between the podcast and the Website.
Too bad the only way I’m ever going back to Korea it looks like at this point is if North Korea collapses and there’s a dire need for English teachers there. Otherwise, I will be 80 years old before I can return (unless I somehow finish and sell this novel I’m working on.)
A long time ago, about 20 years ago now, I had a little magazine in Seoul, South Korea that I co-founded with a very unique woman named Annie Shapiro. To make a very long story short, the whole thing changed my life. And for years after it was all done and over with, all I could do was babble about what a great story it was.
Rache Sennott
Annie is no longer with us (RIP) but her memory remains. And if there ever was a movie made of the ROKon Magazine imbroglio, I think Rachel Sennott would be PERFECT to play Annie.
Perfect. Just Perfect.
But, alas, I’ve finally come to realize that sometimes great stories just fade away, never to be told.
Not since that brief moment in Seoul when ROKon Magazine was the only English-language magazine in the city (for the average expat) have I felt this much promise in something creative I’m involved in.
The idea that I would be actually ahead of the curve when it comes to writing a story about sort of an android Annie Hall (who at some point becomes a stripper) is rather surreal. The big question is will there be a flood of such android manic pixie dreamgirl *wink* stories in 2026 to the point that while I’m querying this novel this little sliver of opportunity I have will be all very moot before it’s over with.
I just don’t know.
The key thing is I’m writing a novel, not a screenplay (even though if I was 25 years younger that’s exactly what I would be doing.) So, as such, the dynamics are a little bit different.
If there was a movie made of this novel, I think Rachel Sennott would be perfect as my female (android) romantic lead.
It could be that there will be room enough in the zeitgeist for a flood of such movies and novels and just because my idea is one of many, doesn’t mean it can’t be sold traditionally.
But I would be lying if I didn’t admit I am feeling very anxious about hurrying up. I really need to bhali-bhali as a Korean would say — hurry, hurry. I really want to wrap this AI-assisted beta draft up ASAP so I can turn around and have beta readers review it for me and tell me how to improve it.
There remains a chance that I really will wrap this thing up in the general April-May 2026 timeframe and will be able to query it then. What I *wish* would happen is someone in Hollywood would, in good faith, contact me and want to read what I’ve written so far so maybe we could speed the process up some.
But that’s being delusional.
It’s kind of every storyteller for themselves at this point and I’m just an old(er) loudmouth crank slaving away in the middle of nowhere.
Because I’m feeling so…meh…I’m thinking about maybe doing another zine. This one would be about as basic as they come. There wouldn’t even be any photocopying involved.
Me and the late Annie Shapiro in the glory days of ROKon Magazine in Seoul.
I would just exclusively use what I had directly available.
I have no idea why I’m suddenly so interested in doing this, but maybe it’s because I feel so meh and I need something, anything to spark a little joy since working on the novel is something that kind of happens in my mental background these days.
I need something out of the ordinary something “fun interesting” to think about. I don’t want anything scary or disturbing to happen, I just want something fun-interesting that will give me something different in my life.
But I do still have the novel to work on. I need to focus on that, too. I think some of what’s going on is I’m now in the second act and I realize I REALLY need to rework things some. I can’t keep coasting.
Every once in a while, I’ll stop out of the blue and think, “Wow, ROKon Magazine is a bonkers story.” I’ve written a document about all that bullshit — Somehow — but I still, to this day, have a lingering hope that someone ELSE will see what a great story it is and want to do something with it.
But, as it stands, I just am going to use what happened to inspire me in my own art. And, yet, wow, just wow. The crazy things that happened from late 2006 to early 2008 in Seoul with me and the late Annie Shapiro at the center of it all — wow!
I’ve reached the age where even if somehow, miraculously, I fell into some money, the context would be so different as to make any dreams I had simply not obtainable.
I don’t expect to fall into any money anytime soon — I’m extremely poor — but I do mull sometimes what I would do if I had a little extra money to use. I probably would just go to Asia for two weeks, come home, and figure out what to do next with my life. But even that is debatable, given that I’m bonkers.
But there’s a chance I would go to New York City or LA for just a little stay to at least look around. LA, in particular, I think, would be a place that — if I was 20 or more years younger — I would thrive. But, I’m not. And I’m bonkers. (I don’t handle stress well.)
Yet one thing that is pretty safe if I do fall into some money before I drop dead is buying some high-end photographic equipment. I would want to prove to myself that I could do it. I’m a REALLY GOOD photographer and if I had the equipment, I think I could at least take one or two memorable photos.
And, yet, lulz. I think, barring the Singularity happening and I suddenly getting a significant life extension, that this is it. I’m just going to drift into oblivion and the only thing of note I will have done with my life is a being a DJ in Seoul and starting a long-forgotten, failed monthly magazine for expats in South Korea.
The crux of the issue whenever I think about Seoul is it’s obviously my youth, not Seoul itself that I miss. And I’ve Romanized my time in Seoul to such an absurd degree that I know if I ever return it will be a huge let down.
Hell, it was a huge let down the last time I was there.
But a part of me wants to return just to touch base with the place before I drop dead. Though, obviously, if, say, the DPRK collapses and there’s a sudden surge in demand for English teachers there….who knows, I might somehow, magically, find myself there?
And, yet, I have to accept some basic things — even if I suddenly become “famous” and “successful” enough to go back to South Korea some sort of conquering hero — that is not going to change how fucking old I am. I’m just a very, very different person than I was in late 2006 – early 2008.
If you want to read about what the fuck happened, here it is:
The key thing is even if I magically got the money to go back to South Korea — and Asia in general — at some point in the future, I wouldn’t get what I really wanted: my youth back. I would be returning to Asia a far older and far wiser person and the entire context of whatever happened would be very different.
Most everyone I remember from my time in Asia would have drifted off to a different country and the South Koreans MIGHT remember me, but I’m not so sure they would actually want to hang out with me.
I only bring this up because I keep having these long, extended dreams where I’m back in Seoul. It’s really wild. Or, I find myself daydreaming for way too long about what might happen if I ever do return.
I don’t know. This is all very speculative. I just don’t think I’m going to have the money to go back to Asia for a long, long time — probably years. And, like I said, it just won’t be the same.
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