I wrote a great deal this afternoon wasted as fuck. I realize that is not exactly the greatest writing philosophy, so I need to kind of chill out on that front. But this novel is getting really, really good.
I’m very pleased with what I’ve managed to come up with.
But there is one issue — I’ve kind of forked the novel AGAIN. The novel is getting a lot better, but now that it’s forked, I can’t just go through an edit things. I’m going to have to tinker and rewrite and restructure things, which will force me to slow down a great deal.
Which, of course, sucks.
I’m trying to speed through things as quickly as possible and all this fucking forking isn’t going to get me to my goal of finishing the third draft by April. I just don’t know what to tell you — I’m trying to make this novel as quickly as possible but it’s just one of those things.
I hate to admit it, but I’ve felt a lot more creative drunk.
A lot could go wrong with this novel. I definitely fear someone will steal a creative march on me, if for no other reason, I’m just taking too long. But there’s not much I can do about it. Rome wasn’t built in a day and it’s just taking me a lot longer than I thought to get as far as I have.
But what’s interesting to me is the very thing that makes this novel a bit…edgy…could also be what makes it a success. I am WELL AWARE that because of marketing and human nature that this very interesting situation I’ve come up with will probably be boiled down to, “stripper solves a murder mystery.”
Ugh. That’s not at all what’s going on, but, lulz, what can you do.
But I do think that my heroine is beginning to approach Lisbeth Salander levels of interesting. She could very well be something of an icon if I play my cards right. And the thing that I keep being reminded about is how the interplay between my heroine’s “normal” life of owning an alternative weekly and her “alternative life” of owning a strip club / stripping to relax is something I need to lean into if I’m going to introduce the idea in the first place.
That’s what people — especially women willing to humor me by reading the damn novel in the first place — are going to want to see the most of.
The daydream issue of how Hollywood might address this novel occasionally gives me pause for thought. The obvious way to market the movie is something along the line of the old Pam Anderson movie “Barbwire.”
Double ugh.
The point of the story is not the T&A element of the story, but that by heroine is a woman who has sexual agency and self confidence enough that she is able to be a stripper to relax without giving it much thought.
It’s everyone else — especially horny men — who are the problem.
Anyway, I continue to work my way through the first act of the third draft AGAIN. Hopefully, this time, I will still have momentum enough to make my way through the second and third acts when the time comes.
I’m in full swing editing and rewriting the first act of this novel as I prepare to get into the second act and things are going surprisingly well. Thinking about what I know about this novel in my mind, the big takeaway is it’s just not scary or twisted enough to be directly compared to, say, Gillian Flynn’s “Gone Girl” or Stieg Larsson’s “The Girl With Dragon Tattoo.”
But, even I, who have EXTREMELY HIGH expectations for any story, have to admit that this is shaping up to be, if nothing else, a really entertaining yarn. It’s the kind of story that will suck the reader in pretty fast just because they will want to see how I have a part-time sex-worker solve a murder mystery, if nothing else.
But there’s one thing I know — you just can’t win. If you take any risks, you are BOUND to somehow, someway offend a small, vocal minority of the audience who will be mad specifically because a smelly CIS white male dared to do anything other than stare at the ceiling and twiddle their thumbs.
So, I press forward.
I still need to work on a backup novel or two. But it’s tough. It’s really tough.
While on a substantive basis, my novel is totally different from any of Stieg Larsson’s work other than a few “form follows function” quirks, I do continue to use the second novel in his Millennium series as my “textbook.” Whenever I have a question about structure and the like, I think back to my careful study of that novel and act accordingly.
It took me forever to figure out the structure of The Girl Who Played With Fire until I learned that it was actually the first half of a bigger novel. THEN things started to make sense.
I still hope to fall within the sweetspot of about 100,000 words for this novel. AND I have decided to to pretty much totally rework the first half of the second act so things are a lot more clear and focused.
That, at least, is the goal.
I really need to stop screwing around and get things done sooner rather than later.
I’m just about to sprint forward with the “Fun & Games” part of this novel. I’ve been doing a lot of constructive daydreaming the last few days in an effort to figure out how to game the rest of the story out. It’s been really, really tough.
But I do think if I just let this process play out that I should get to writing full time again pretty soon. I was kind of sweating it there for a moment until I realized what the problem was. There really wasn’t so much a problem as I needed to go into aggressive daydreaming mode so once I left it, I could throw myself back into writing again.
As all of this is going on, of course, I realize I need to do a lot more reading and watching of TV — and develop other projects. I don’t want to be left holding the back if someone — God forbid — should somehow steal a march on me story wise and I have to fall back to some other project from scratch.
I don’t know when everything is going to sort itself out, but it should be pretty soon. That’s the plan, at least.
Since I first started writing a novel, I’ve pretty much been doing it all in a creative vacuum. All I’ve had is my gut and a well-used copy of Stieg Larsson’s The Girl Who Played With Fire as my guide.
The gold standard.
Living in a delusional state as I did this has helped me a great deal. But soon I’m going to find out what people with careers and money –specifically literary agents — think of all my writing. I really need to pay a manuscript consultant to read the novel once I have a final third draft done –but I’m very, very poor.
As such, I may just say screw it and submit that I have and see what happens. The story is getting a lot better and it will be interesting to see what severe existential mistakes I made because I haven’t had a wife or a girlfriend to be my Reader on this project.
But I have to summon up some courage. I have to accept that it will really be like winning the writing lottery to actually sell this novel, even if I otherwise stick the landing. That’s why I continue to dwell on back up stories to use should it become clear that this novel just isn’t going to sell anytime soon. A lot of selling a novel comes from luck and hitting the zeitgeist just right.
It would also definitely help if I was, I dunno, an undocumented transgender woman. But, I’m just me, a smelly CIS white male who can be something of a kook at times.
I really need to start using my time in a more structured way. I really need to accept that things might get a little bit…bumpy…once I actually start to query. And I really want to query my first novel as early as fall 2024. Hopefully the country won’t be descending into chaos just as I finally reach the point where I can query.
I’ve vowed to sooner rather than later to take the querying process for my first novel a lot more seriously. At the moment, I’m on track to wrap up the novel around — hopefully — April. Then the plan is to begin querying no later than, say, September.
But it’s always possible that that deadline may slip and it won’t be the fall 2024 querying season that I take the plunge, but, rather the Spring 2025 season. And all of this is happening in the context of not only me Not Getting Any Younger, but knowing damn well that any literary agent who does due diligence on me might just throw up their hands with dismay at all the kooky things I’ve written about and done videos about over the years.
And I am the first to admit that if you don’t know me personally, I can come across as a drunk crank. Ok, I get it. But what am I going to do about it at this point? I am who I am and I have some quirks and sharp edges that might turn some (liberal white women) people off.
My heroine kind of looks like this in my mind as I write her.
I really need to stop stewing about querying and begin to take it concrete steps to be ready to go when the moment comes. But I also want to start to work seriously on some backup stories. I have at least three solid scifi novels rolling around in my head and all the hard work I’ve put into my first novel should speed the process of development up for these “back up stories” a great deal.
While disaster could strike at any moment, for the time being, I’m feeling pretty good about the state of the third draft of my first novel. I’m going to focus on having a “alpha release” done as soon as possible. Once I get to that point, then I might start to do some fleshing out of the canon and characters so the beta release will be good enough to show other people.
I’m getting soooooo close to being in a position where I have to take the process of querying seriously. The idea of pitching my long-term delusion to people with money and careers is really going to rattle my cage. But it’s something I’ve been expecting for years now.
The story is pretty strong and it is provocative enough that I could see — if I sell the novel and it is huge success — that Hollywood will be interested. Even though the story isn’t nearly as dark and twisted as Stieg Larsson’s work, I feel confident that anyone who has read his work find my novel to be something of an old brown shoe without it being a hackneyed copy.
This novel is its own thing, it’s just I used Larsson’s “The Girl Who Played With Fire” as my “textbook” and, as such, it’s something of a homage. I hope people don’t think it’s some sort of fanfic, because it’s not. It’s very much my own personal interpretation of the general concepts that Larsson wrote about.
I have done everything in my power to make work as original as possible, even as I use some basic techniques that Larsson used in his work — for better or for worse.
I hope to zoom through the rest of the third draft of the novel now. But, like I said, so much can go wrong. But, I try to be hopeful.
Months after I started working on the first act of the third draft of my first novel, I am at last about to enter the second act. This is important because I know this part of the story far, far better.
Though there are some structural elements to the novel I’ve had to change in the rest of the novel, things SHOULD move very, very fast now. I should be able to come out with an Alpha Release of the third draft no later than April. Then I will go through and do an edit of it so the Beta Release is actually coherent enough that I can maybe find some professional to read it and help me take it to the next level.
And, yet, I am very, very poor, so…I don’t know. Don’t know how exactly that will work out — if it will work out at all. I might just query what I have in early fall 2024 and see what happens.
Of course, now I have to take a deep breath and think seriously about querying. But I think I may punt that particular issue down the road a little bit more. I want to have a complete third draft done — even if it’s an Alpha Release — before I get too worked up about querying.
And, of course, all of this is happening in the context of the fucking Petite Singularity / Fourth Turning happening at just about the moment I want to query.
I notice that someone is interested in all my ranting about the “woke cancel culture mob.” So, let me be clear — all my ranting on this subject is usually generated by booze and annoyance that I will be dinged by some hyper-woke people for being a male author writing from a female POV in my novel.
If Stieg Larsson can do that, why can’t I?
Anyway, I also know that being a drunk crank I’ve almost — certainly — done more than one thing in my personal life that will leave the hyper woke aghast. But, all I can say is the worse thing anyone ever said about me was that I’m a “delusional jerk with a good heart.”
My heroine, in my mind, looks like Corrie Yee.
So, yeah, I’m not perfect. But who is? And I generally mean well. So, I find myself wondering if all my talk about consensual kinky sex and periods in this novel will be poo-pooed by woke liberal white women because it’s ME, a smelly CIS white male, who wrote it.
Meanwhile, Emerald Fennell can go way, way off the creative beaten path and is hailed as the best thing since slice bread. It’s shit like that that causes me to rant when I’m drunk. Judge me by work, not by my gender. I GENERALLY support the media narrative about trans rights, etc, but I’m human and I have the occasional stray thought that maybe might get me in trouble with the woke Powers That Be.
I HATE this type of “woke.”
Regardless. My first novel is going well. So well, in fact, that I’m probably going to feel comfortable doing a lot more reading, watching of TV and movies and doing some writing on my “backup stories.”
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