‘Brace For Impact’ — #lyrics to a Techno Dance Pop Song

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Well, this one is pretty good. I see this one as a techno / EDM / dance pop song like something Sia might sing. This is just the basic concept, it would take a professional producer to actually make a song out of it.

Brace For Impact
lyrics by @sheltgarner
please give credit if you produce or perform

BRACE BRACE BRACE
HEADS DOWN STAY DOWN

BRACE BRACE BRACE
HEADS DOWN STAY DOWN

BRACE BRACE BRACE
HEADS DOWN STAY DOWN

we’re headed for disaster
it’s heading our no where left to go
prepare yourself on the dance floor
we all know the score

BRACE BRACE BRACE
HEADS DOWN STAY DOWN

BRACE BRACE BRACE
HEADS DOWN STAY DOWN

BRACE BRACE BRACE
HEADS DOWN STAY DOWN

call your loved ones
tell them the truth
ready to kiss our dreams
we know what is next
the beat will grab us
like by the waist

BRACE BRACE BRACE
HEADS DOWN STAY DOWN

BRACE BRACE BRACE
HEADS DOWN STAY DOWN

BRACE BRACE BRACE
HEADS DOWN STAY DOWN

(bridge)
never you fear dear
I’ll take it from here
get ready for some exciment
when the beat drops yet again

BRACE BRACE BRACE
HEADS DOWN STAY DOWN

BRACE BRACE BRACE
HEADS DOWN STAY DOWN

BRACE BRACE BRACE
HEADS DOWN STAY DOWN

Of Course

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now, let me be clear — I’m notorious for taking a little bit of information and running with it. But there is, at least, a scenario whereby Saturday Night Live uses the “hook” of how fucking cold it was in Iowa for the caucuses to have a sketch with Unfrozen Caveman Governor Ron DeSantis.

Makes sense to me, at least. I don’t quite know what I would do if something I predicted actually happened for once. I might faint from excitement and joy.

But I’m really, really grasping at straws on this one. I’m know to make shit up. I suppose only time will tell, huh.

I would get a woman cast member to play “Tiny-D” in caveman make up, given how short he is, relative to how tall he should be to run for POTUS.

We Are All Catturd

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner


I can only get so worked up about whatever bullshit Catturd blathers on about because I know a few subtle changes to my personal history and I probably would be him!

Besides his fascist, MAGA polemical elements, one a personal basis he seems like just a dude who has figured out how to serve an audience. And, really, that’s what all writers want to do.

But I will note that one thing I find really annoying about Catturd is his, “Oh, little old me?” bullshit. He is so sincere in his support of what is a very fucked up, racist, misogynistic fascist political movement that is very grating on my nerves.

I have a least one person in my own life like him and that person really pissed me off, too. Anyway, in the end, Catturd will probably be seen as a quirk of our antebellum world.

Well, At Least One Group May Read This Blog

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m beginning to suspect that spooks — spies — may read this blog. I don’t know what to say about that. On one hand it’s very, very flattering that *anyone* cares what I have to say — even though I have long held that cool shit happens when people listen to me.

On the OTHER hand, wow. Just wow. If that’s true, I feel uneasy that I may be helping America’s foes when it comes to America’s dark fate. And, yet, as I keep saying, I can’t predict the future.

All I can do is give a general sense of what me, a ding-dong, thinks MIGHT Happen at some point starting around late 2024, early 2025.

I Might Do A Few Movie Treatments

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have a few ideas that are interesting movie ideas, but I don’t know how well they would do as novels. So, I think, if I can summon the energy to do so, I’m going to write a few treatments.

There is one currently semi-funny idea that if I could find a collaborator would be something akin to The Wedding Crashers.

And, yet, lulz, absolutely no one cares what I say or do. I could walk off the face of the earth right now and it would take a few weeks for anyone to notice what had happened.

But I do feel like forcing myself to go outside my comfort zone by writing and developing something other than this one story I’ve been working on for years.

We Need That ‘Black Swan’ Event Really Bad, Folks

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Oh boy.

I can remember talking to a minor member of The Powers That Be in late 2019 and we both agreed that Trump was going to win re-election without much trouble. The COVID happened.

So, I dunno.

It will be interesting to see if some sort of “Black Swan” event happens that throws what seems inevitable, up into the air and nobody knows what is going to happen.

I think the key thing to remember is that 2024 – 2025 may be one of the most momentous, fucked up periods of time in American — if not global — history.

Is Unfrozen Caveman Governor Ron DeSantis Going To Drop Out?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As of right now, it seems as though Ron “I’m just waiting for bad to happen to Trump” DeSantis is in it to win it. Not that he will. It’s all very curious. He’s just not very good at retail politics.

But it will be interesting to see what happens next. I think, for the moment, he’s going to linger until he is defeated in South Carolina, then he will pull the plug. So, I suppose we have a few more weeks or months of him pretending he has a chance at winning.

My Pitch For An Unfrozen Caveman Governor Sketch

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

This is just me being silly. But, in general, I would replace the court room of the Phil Hartman Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer sketches with an Iowa / New Hampshire Town Hall.

Ron DeSantis

Then, the joke of the SNL sketch would be that Ron DeSantis’ actual policy agenda is so dumb and conservative that it’s what you might think of someone frozen during an Ice Age.

I, for one, think that’s hilarious.

Well, That’s Curious

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m obsessed with my Webstats. And today was curious because one specific blog post on this blog about Ron DeSantis got a huge amount of hits — like 10 or so. Given that, like, this blog on any given day gets about 20 or 30 hits a day that’s a big deal.

Given the subject matter, there are a few possibilities.

SNL
It’s at least possible that my link between Ron DeSantis and SNL’s Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer and this weekend they’re going to do a sketch about him that involves Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.
He’s About To Drop Out
This could mean that his staff knows he’s going to drop out and they read the blog post about how much he sucks. Or something.

Hmmmm……Did Nikki Haley Cheat On Her Husband?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner


My hot take — barring Haley being in serious contention to be Trump’s veep….this is a meh. But I can’t predict the future so, who knows.