Why Does Everything Have To Be So Dumb? #TrumpTulsaRally

by Shelt Garner

You could not think up a worst beginning for a catastrophe. A bunch of people screaming in an enclose space for two hours, screaming at the president during a pandemic. What’s more, all of this is taking place in one of the worst-hit states in the Union.

It’s all very, very, VERY DUMB.

And, yet, here we are.

Really, all you have to do is have Trump finally snap mentally in the next few days and you pretty much have the absolute worst case scenario. But that last bit is probably going to be saved for the middle of his second term when The Kooch (or whomever) is his Veep. Someone young, organized and capable of shepherding Enabling Acts through a Constitutional Convention.

Trump is just a deranged moron who is extremely lucky.

It will, however, be interesting to see if we reach any sort of acute crisis in the coming days that throws everything out of whack as we head towards Election Day. I do know, however, that Trump is going to steal the election. Autocrats never lose, not even a very dumb one like Trump.

Some Trump Scenarios For The Next Year

by Shelt Garner

No one can predict the future. So take that into consideration. But here are some scenarios as to what might happen between now and about a year from now.

This is one of the more acute endgames for the clusterfuck that is the Trump Ministration. In this scenario, Trump finally gets his own Tienanmen Square on the National Mall. The bloodshed is enough that he’s quickly forced from office well before Election Day. I don’t really see this happening for a number of reasons. Or, put another way, there might be a massacre, but Trump still won’t leave office.

Rolling Political & Racial Violence
In this scenario, the rolling political violence I have long predicted for the fall simply happens as part of the rolling protests we’re having right now. The two merge as the year progresses and there’s massive violence on Election Day. America has its own “Troubles” until sometime in April-May 2021 when we finally figure out how to pull the now completely insane Trump physically out of the Oval Office

Trump Self-Owns By Going Crazy
There’s a real chance that Trump’s criminality and his lurching insanity will fuse to such an extent that he’ll take the whole country down with him. By the time his enables finally get with the program, it will be far, far too late to save the country and something akin to either an autocratic managed-democracy or a civil war happens. It all happens because no one is willing to stick their neck out in the real world to stop it.

Startup Saves The Day
In this scenario, someone figures out a way to organize the protests happening right now via an app. It would be designed to find leaders and to coordinate these protests in a meaningful manner. This is really me daydreaming because no one ever listens to me.

The Elector Crisis
Trump loses the popular vote, but goes after Electors on a personal level until they vote for him. Or there’s a 1876-type commission because Trump claims a huge amount of voter fraud and SCOTUS believes him. This all ends up with a massive clusterfuck and we either endup with an acting president or knowing way, way more about the personalities and personal lives of individual Electors than we should.

Bides 100 Days
Bides first 100 days — should they happen — may simply be him struggle to keep the country together as Trump rants on Twitter about how MAGA has to kill people to protect their 2nd Amendment rights.

Trump’s Most Dangerous Game

by Shelt Garner

While Trump is an absolute moron, he is getting advice from someone who isn’t: Putin. So, it has occurred to me there’s a reason why Trump is shipping in Texas prison riot police to DC — he really wants to murder peaceful protesters in cold blood.

It not too much of a stretch to imagine the following: the goons from Texas serve as the Hell’s Angels at Altamont and there’s violence. Enough violence that the entire nation is shocked. This leads to direct combat(!) between the goons from Texas and the US Military.

The America Putin Wants.

The final battle is joined as everyone picks sides.

How exactly that would go down is anyone’s guess. I do think this would be the rolling political violence of the fall I have long predicted, just a few months early and in a different context. Now, there are a number of scenarios you could imagine at this point.

One is Trump really misjudges the whole situation and he is effectively forced from office in a rushed impeachment process at gunpoint on the part of the U.S. Military. But, given how things are likely to actually happen, it’s possible it could get even messier. It would happen very, very fast.

It would be total chaos (which is what Trump’s bestie Putin wants.)

And, really, I would say Trump would win, as always, but for how moronic and incompetent he is. He’s such a self-own artist that when faced with an unprecedented extra-political, extra-Constitutional attempt to remove him from office, he simply won’t know what to do.

A Very American Coup

by Shelt Garner

Not once in our nation’s history have we ever had a coup in the traditional sense. So, it’s rather surreal to me that I find myself thinking how a coup might happen now.

If any military coup happened, it would be so chaotic in nature that it’s impossible to predict exactly how it might happen. But my best guess is Trump finally gets the massacre of peaceful protesters in DC that he’s so excited about and the military does something completely out of the ordinary for it on a historic and institutional level — it turns on its commander-in-chief.

Given the nature of American political tradition, the only way I could possibly imagine this happening would be the top military leaders contact Nancy Pelosi and tell her in no uncertain terms that the House has to do a snap impeachment of Trump….NOW.

Then, using the same hint-hint methods, the military gets the Senate to do a snap trial and conviction of Trump. This would be the only way for everyone not to feel dirty about what had just happened. Of course, this could all be a setup. Trump could be trying to consolidate power in the military by pushing it to the breaking point, then hoping there would be some sort of coup attempt so he could purge those people. (This happened in Turkey a few years ago.)

All of this is meaningless, of course, because Tom Cotton is likely to be elected president in 2024, no matter what because of the same macro issues that elected Trump in the first place.


The ‘Little Green Men’ Have Landed

by Shelt Garner

Ugh. Why am I the only one to notice this:

American Little Green Men
Russian Little Green Men

A ‘National Union Front (NUF)’ Manifesto

by Shelt Garner

These are the times that try men’s souls, as Thomas Paine wrote. As such, it seems as though it’s time to be honest with ourselves. I’m a man of peace. A man of ideas. But the country I love so much, the United States of America, is careening towards nothing less than a tyrannical fascist state.

The last time the National Unionists existed was the election of 1864 during the Civil War. We need to harken back to their goals of unity and freedom. The National Unionists were, by definition Lincolnists. The modern National Union Front would draw from anyone who believes America can do better than one Donald John Trump. He needs to leave office — immediately.

The current protesters across the nation need to take up burden of history and defend the freedoms we have all come to enjoy the last 244 years. We need to be willing to let the Tree of Liberty drink from the sweat of our brow as we fight the dark forces that would take our birthright from us.

I don’t want any violence. But if we’re going to defend Columbia from those who would abuse her out of spite, greed and a lust for power, we have to prepared to defend her with our lives and sacred honors.

I don’t have a lot of hope for the current protests for several reasons. One, the protests are leaderless. Or, put another way, no one with something to lose has decided to throw their lot with the protesters. I doesn’t matter who it is at this point — it could be David Frum or Taylor Swift. It just has to be someone, anyone, with a career they might destroy if things don’t go the right way.

The time for limp-wristed nattering on Twitter is over. We have to evoke change in the real world. We have to forsake violence and follow in the footsteps of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

But what we lack in violence, we need to make up with ideology and demands. Our ideology should draw from the works of Jefferson, Madison, Lincoln, Gandhi. Lennon and King.

Most of all, the National Union Front needs three things.

I don’t care where they come from. We need people with some organizational skill to adopt the NUF cause and plunge straight into what’s going on right now. Again, it could be David Frum for all I care. Someone needs to throw on a revolutionary beret and help the masses get the job done.

The NUF ideology should be inclusive and simple: liberal democracy.

1. The Immediate resignation or removal of Donald John Trump, 45th President of the United States of America.
2. Addressing of systemic racism
3. The Green New Deal
4. National Health Care
5. Federal decriminalization of pot
6. Student Loan forgiveness
7. A national debate on how to address the historical consequences of slavery

Of Trumplandia, The American Fourth Reich

by Shelt Garner

Once you reach a certain level of historical momentum, there’s not much you can do. We, sadly, have reached a macro-historical tipping point in regards to America’s new managed democracy. It’s here and there’s no going back.

Trump will win re-election in the fall — it doesn’t matter how — then ICE will be weaponized and I will die in an ICE camp sometime in the next few years.

But, just for fun, let’s daydream about how you might stop this from happening.

Let me stress — I’m a man of peace, a man of ideas. But I do love to run scenarios, so, to me, this is just a scenario.

The only way I could see stopping the rise of the American Fourth Reich at this point is people actually willing to risk their lives to stop it. What’s more likely to happen is they will decide to pledge their “lives and scared honor” only after it’s too late and they have to be a REAL “Resistance” like the French Resistance.

What I might suggest is all these protests are really a protest against Trump. Or, put another way, they could evolve into that if there was any leadership associated with it. But, to date, these protests are simply people venting frustration. If there were, like, actual revolutionaries involved in these protests, then there would be demands that could be drawn up, etc.

But, nada.

Nothing is really going on with these protests other than being a huge political windfall to our tyrant president.

Anyway, all I can say is get out of the country if you love freedom and liberty. Trumplandia is, at last, tragically here

#COVID19 #Pandemic Threat Assessment For March 24th, 2020: A Darkness At Noon

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

We are so doomed.

Trump thinks he can pander to the Religious Right by getting everyone in church in some sort of Trump-As-Christ event around Easter. He thinks everything will wrap up around Easter, we can go back to normal and we want to praise him, praise him, praise him at the polls when November rolls around. That it also gives the markets some sense of security and stability by giving them a definite ending is a twofer.

I guess it might work.

It might work because the MAGA base is such a death cult that even if a few million people die because of this harebrained idea, they will simply shrug and say at least he owned the libs for them. In fact, I would say the ONLY thing that will prevent Trump from cruising into a second term is well, Trump. I could see Trump finally snapping around Easter when it becomes apparent that not only is this not going to wrap up then, but he’s going to be directly blamed for people dying because, well, they went to church for Easter at his behest.

He’s such a self-own artist that it will be Trump himself who brings down House Trump — if that is even possible at this point. Trump going bonkers is pretty much the only thing I can possibly thing of that might bring down House Trump. Otherwise, there’s nothing we can do. I don’t want him to go bonkers because, well, we could all die when he decides to nuke us to oblivion. If he did go bonkers and House Trump fell long enough for a free-and-fair election to happen, it would be rather surreal, to say the least. House Trump is so absolute in its belief that The Thousand Year Trump has been established, the Fourth Reich has been born, that if this even momentarily proves not to be the case, a lot of people are going to be gobsmacked.

The normal rules of politics will kick in with brutal force and Trump will continue to tweet from the sidelines complaining it was a combination “stab in the back” of “the Chinese and liberals” that brought him down. Don Jr. will court the MAGA base and, well, there will be talk of impeaching-and-convicting everyone necessary to get Don Jr. back as president as soon as possible.

I do think Trump will pardon about 20 people — including himself! — the moment we it’s obvious he’s lost even the Electoral College. He may not even leave the White House willingly and that will be the first crisis of the new administration. But I also think Trump’s never leaving office. For him to leave office for any reason — legal, political or self-own — something so jaw-dropping would have to happen that is simply beyond my ability to predict.

We’re stuck with The Thousand Year Trump for about 30 years until the browning of America crosses paths with the decline of the Baby Boomers and finally someone like, say, AOC, topples House Trump and we go back to “normal.”

Fuck you if you’re MAGA. You cocksucker.

I do think, in passing, however, that a lot of these older celebrities who are dying these days are dying of COVID19. Their families simply don’t want their legacy to be how they died instead of their career. I don’t think it’s any sort of “conspiracy,” I think it’s just basic human nature.

#MAGA Is A Death Cult #COVID19

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

It has taken me a little while, but I’ve figured out why so many MAGA people are interested in COVID19. It’s not that they’re oblivious to the fact that Trump is completely fucking up the handling of this pandemic. They just don’t care. That’s a lulz.

What they’re more interested in is the idea that a pandemic will be the end of the global liberal order that has kept the peace for about 75 years. They’re looking forward to, what? I don’t know. A lot of elderly people dying unnecessarily? I thought angry old Baby Boomers were the core of MAGA. But, lulz. I guess the younger, more ignorant MAGA shitheads think that when the global order collapses and the poors are desperately searching for food while Peter Thiel snorts coke off a twink’s asshole that, what, their jobs will come back? That women will go back to being living gestation pods?

Some of it is that, by nature, many MAGA shithead fuckers are preppers who have been looking forward to the end of the world for some time — why else would they vote for the anti-Christ, I mean Donald Trump. They have been preparing for a post-apocalyptic hellscape for decades, so if Trump makes it closer to being a reality, all the better. All the more reason to support him, right, you fucking shithead KAG and MAGA fucks?

House Trump is going to lie and cheat as necessary in its craven need to consolidate power going forward. The Fourth Right is here. I just have to be sure not to die in an ICE Camp.

Twitter Liberals Are So Oblivious: Putin, Pandemic & Trumplandia #COVID19

The Dear Leader
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

The thing that so many Twitter Liberals are completely oblivious about is Trump shares the view of another autocrat, Russia’s Putin, when it comes to his relationship to power: as long as he’s still in power when the sun sets, it’s a win. If your only metric is still being in power, then you can, as a Twitter Liberal, nash your teeth all you want to — Trump’s never leaving office for any reason.

And, yet, there’s something of an “act of God” bouncing around the world at an alarming rate right now — the COVID19 pandemic. Even then, I am reluctant to assume that Trump will, in traditional terms, face any type of political consequences. He’s escaped conviction by the Senate, and he will do whatever necessary to stay in power as long as he likes — even call a Constitutional Convention, if need be — so lulz. Even if the COVID19 pandemic caused a sharp, brief global recession and many died in the States directly because of his bungled response, it would still be 2021 – 2022 before we got around to attempting to get rid of him again. So, for the time being, Trump’s a tyrant with absolute power in the United States. Lulz?

It does, however, make you wonder how bad things would have to get before people like Hugh Hewitt might change their tune on Trump. They might have a momentary pause — in private — about their support if we entered horror-movie territory. But more likely, they would become rather giddy at the prospect of Trump consolidating his power even more as notable center-Left figures got sick and maybe even died. Or, put another way, even the gates of hell opening and Satan telling us that Trump REALLY WAS the anti-Christ wouldn’t be enough to make people like Matt Schlapp stop sucking Trump’s political cock. I guess, maybe, if 20 million old people died because of Trump’s poor leadership they might think about it for no other reason than their base of angry old men would be dramatically reduced in size.

So, I guess what I’m saying is, slow your roll Twitter liberals. Trump’s not going anywhere for any reason unless his enablers feel they have, at last, gotten every fucking thing they could possibly get from him. Then Mike Pence — or Don Jr, or The Kooch or Steve King or Kris Kobach — will swoop in and finish the job of turning America into the Fourth Reich.