by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner
First, we have to accept that Red States starting a civil war at this point is silly. They’re politically ascendant and have every reason to just be patent and wait while we slowly become a Russian-style autocratic state. And YET, day after day I continue to get pings to this blog from people in the more rural portions of Red States from people obviously very interested in my dystopian hellscape civil war scenarios.
So, how, exactly, could Red States, rather than Blue States, start a civil war?
Well, one thing we have to do is define “civil war.” A bunch of good old boys grabbing their AR-15s and shooting dem dar librals is NOT a civil war. Maybe something akin to a second insurrection, but not a civil war. And, really, at this point, I think the Reds who want a civil war bandy the term around just because it’s the worst possible thing they can think of in response to this or that thing that Blues have done to annoy them this time.
But I’ll give the shithead Reds what they want — a civil war started by their side, not by my side. Here goes.
All I got, at this point, is things grow so white hot during the coming impeachment of both Biden and Harris after the Reds take control of Congress that Red States flip out and begin to leave the Union. This, but even more so if Biden for some reason succumbs to old age and it’s President Harris and Speaker Trump we’re talking about.
If Speaker Trump, in the middle of the impeachment trial of President Harris starts to rant about secession (or reTruths something about it) then, yeah, you fucking cocksucker Reds, you might just get your Second American Civil War.
Otherwise, lulz. It either doesn’t happen and we just become an autocracy, or it’s the BLUEs who start it because of a Certification Crisis around 2024 – 2025.
