Tag: am querying

Watch Out For That Last Step: Pondering The Querying Process

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I am soon going to be finished with the third draft of my first novel. As such, because I want to go the traditional publishing route, I have to begin to take seriously the querying process.

Mood.

Now, the stressful thing about this is I have no idea what to do. I only vaguely know at this point about things like “Query Tracker” and the fact that I have to write a query letter. I have been knee deep in active delusion for all the years it has taken me to write this novel and now, suddenly, the cold, dark waters of reality are beginning to rush in.

At the moment, I would like to hand over the finished third draft to an editor of some sort. It may take me months to save up the money to get someone to edit the novel. Yet that’s just the beginning.

I think I’m going to have to be really careful about this element of the querying process because I’ve already managed to screw up once. I alienated one prospective editor because I think that not only did she think I was freaky weirdo after reading this blog, but she thought I was going to be too emotionally needy.

So I need to give the idea of what I say to any prospective editor some thought. And I have to accept that there is a good chance that any editor worth their salt is going to search for me online and look at this blog and be aghast at what a freaky weirdo I am. And that doesn’t even begin to address what they might think of my Twitter feed.

This very real prospect rattles my cage a great deal. I’m not getting any younger and I would prefer to be a published author before I reach 60. Just my age itself is problematic — not to mention that I really haven’t done shit with my life in a long time. AND I’m bonkers.

And, yet, the only consolation I have is that while there’s life there’s hope. I do have to manage my expectations, though — any success with a spec novel is like winning the literary lottery.

So it’s possible that I could stick the landing and STILL either not find an agent or being in limbo for years. And that doesn’t even address the fact that late 2024, early 2025 could be some of the most momentous months in modern American history.

I don’t know what to tell you. I write because I have to, not because I want to. So I suppose I continue to be delusional, even as the looming transition into the querying process demands I be a lot more honest with myself about my prospects.

Speeding Up The Novel Development Process

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now that I am zooming towards wrapping up the third draft of my first novel, I find myself wondering how I can speed up production of the next novel. I can’t spend years and years working on the next novel because I’m old and have a limited amount of time on the earth.

Mood.

As such, I think one way to speed up the development of my next novel will be to better game out what the novel’s story is. Now, at the moment, I actually have two novels I want to work on. One is the a direct sequel to my first novel while the other is a totally unrelated scifi concept.

The scifi concept is pandemic related and to me, at least, is seems like a very obvious idea for a novel. So obvious that I keep expecting to find out that someone else has already written a novel or screenplay with a similar conceit. But it hasn’t happened yet, so I’m going to go full speed ahead.

Not knowing what exactly the story I wanted to tell was one of the reasons why it took me so fucking long to get to this point with my first novel. Once I understood what the story was, everything clicked and began to move much quicker.

Of course, another problem was I have been drifting towards a general goal without realizing how much time was elapsing. My age kind of snuck up on me. But now that I’m in my 50s, I have every reason to buckle down and focus a lot harder trying to knock out novels as quickly as possible.

And none of this, of course, addresses the next stage of the process with my first novel — querying. As had already been proven, there is a good chance that anyone doing due diligence on me as part of the querying process is going to think I’m nuts and won’t want to have anything to do with me.

But while there’s life, there’s hope. I write because I have to, not because I want to. And the point of writing a novel in the first place — that of giving me a Big Project to think about rather than feeling sorry for myself.

Why Has It Taken Me So Fucking Long To Get To This Point With The Novel?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I am now lurching towards wrapping up my first novel after years of working on it. I am taken aback by how long it has taken me to get to this point. Reviewing in my mind the journey that got to me to this point I have come up with some observations.

Mood.

One is, I simply had no idea what story I wanted to tell. I spent some time thinking I wanted to write a scifi novel, but that turned out to be just to huge and I shelved it. Then I pivoted to the idea that I wanted to write a mystery-thriller that would allow me to make some political and social commentary about the Trump Era.

But I spent a lot of time just spinning my wheels on that one and I was still spinning my wheels when I realized in early 2021 that because Trump was no longer POTUS that my original intent for the story was no longer as timely. It occurred to me that I had this massive backstory about the novel I was working on at the time and it would be interesting to tell the very beginning of a 25 year tale that would end with the novel I had originally wanted to write about the Trump Era.

Once I got to that point, things began to move a lot quicker, even as the project went from one novel to two, and ultimately six.

I hope to write a novel that is as accessible and popular as The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

And then something curious happened. I had planned to begin the third draft of the novel in September, only to spend months just spinning my wheels in the first act. I just could not figure out what I wanted to do with the first act of the novel.

There came a point when I realized that there was a way where I could write a novel that made sense and yet was totally different than what I had originally planned. It would require me to expand what was the first act of the novel into two third of a new novel and using a chunk of what had been the end of the first act and the beginning of the second act of the second draft.

This is the point where things changed dramatically for the story. It occurred to me that it would be very provocative if I leaned into something only alluded to in the second draft of the novel — the idea that the heroine owns a strip club. As such, I decided to have the heroine not only own a strip club but, for the duration of the novel, on occasion strip, too.

Now, clearly, if I had a wife or a girlfriend who was a Reader who could tell me “no” I probably wouldn’t have decided on such a strategic change to the plot of the novel.

But I don’t have that. So, lulz, I’ve come up with a really compelling story that MAY have too much sex in it to ever get published. But I don’t know yet. I’m too obsessed with finishing a novel of some sort that I am going to wait until I finish the third draft of this novel before I make any assessment like that.

And I continue to want to work on a backup scifi novel just in case my fears about the main novel being too “spicy” turn out to be correct. Then there is the issue of me being too bonkers for any literary agent who does due diligence on me so, well, there you go.

Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The predicament I find myself in with my first novel is a prime example of what happens when you don’t have anyone around you to tell you “no.” The story I’ve come up with is compelling and intriguing enough — if you give it a chance — that you’ll finish it wanting more.

Mood.

But there are a few problems.

The most obvious one is, well, I’ve realized that it has a lot of “spicy” scenes in it because it deals with a woman who not only owns a strip club, but for the duration of the story, also, on occasion, is depicted stripping. If I had a wife or a girlfriend as a “Reader” there is a good chance she would put the kibosh on that particular element of the story.

It’s just too easy for the mythical “liberal white women” or the “woke cancel culture mob” to blanch at such a storyline, especially one written by a man. If I was an twentysomething undocumented trans woman then that would be a different story. (There you go, I’ve put all three of my running gags into one paragraph to trigger you when you do your due diligence on me.)

There are a few other problems with the nature of my first novel that are structural and existential so, lulz, I just have to accept them going forward. I really love this novel and the characters I’ve come up with and, I suppose, in the end, if nothing else, I’m the audience of the novel and as such am willing to expend the time and energy necessary to finish it.

I am WELL AWARE that if you don’t know me and you read this blog you will probably want nothing to do with me. Ok, I get it. So, in a sense, this blog is like online dating for me — absolutely no one will swipe right on me online, but if I was given the opportunity to use my “rizz” on you in real life, then maybe you might give me a date.

The last few days have been full of self-doubt about this novel. But I’ve concluded that the point of this novel is to prove a point to myself, if no one else. I know I’ve come up with a really good story, despite its obvious flaws, and I’m going to see this project to its completion.

Having said all that, I am still going to pivot — when I have some time — to a backup scifi novel that will be tailored specifically with marketability in mind. I need that type of insurance policy to give me the juice necessary to move forward with the main novel. I don’t like the idea of putting all my creative eggs in one basket.

Feeling Better About The Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

A number of things have come together that give me renewed confidence with the third draft of the novel I’m working on. The last few days, since an editor I was hoping to work with begged off after they read this blog, I have been feeling a great deal of existential angst.

But things have changed for the better.

I feel a lot better. One thing that happened is a random woman I gave the first three chapters of the novel to read it and didn’t say she hated it. In fact, she said, “keep writing.” That makes me feel a lot better. I was really sweating it there for a little while because I gave it to her and she had not emailed me back any reaction.

Another is, I was reminded yet again that just because ONE person thinks I’m too much of a freaky weirdo to work with, doesn’t mean that it’s totally impossible for me to find someone, somewhere who will find my kookiness endearing.

Or something. Something like that. I just can hinge everything on rejection from one person — even if I fear she does give me some sense of what “liberal white women” might think of the premise of the novel. As I’ve said before, I got no beef with liberal white women, I just see it as something of a running gag.

Anyway. With all that in mind, I’m going to throw myself back into writing the novel. *I* really like the story I’ve come up with, even if some members of the woke cancel culture mob (wink) might be aghast that my heroine is a part-time stripper. Ok, I get it. But I do think that if you give the story a chance — which I know is, unto itself, a big ask — that you will enjoy it.

Having said all that, I am really going to work hard to use some of my spare time to develop the backup scifi novel that I have been working on some. It’s really cool and I just don’t feel comfortable putting ALL my creative eggs in the lone basket of the main novel.

I’m not getting any younger.

But the key thing remains — I have to prepare myself for rejection –a lot of it — as I get closer to the querying process.

‘User Error’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Now that it’s clear that *I* am the problem going forward if anyone should do due diligence on me when I query the novel I’m working on, let’s go through what might be problematic.

Mood

My Comments About Transgender People
I will occasionally write something on this blog about how if I was a “twenty something undocumented transgendered woman” then selling my novel would be easier. I can see why such a quip might alarm some people who are easily “triggered” by statement that doesn’t fix the orthodox that has developed around trans people. What bothers me is that I am not being serious when I say this. I’m just pointing out the obvious — as one would-be reader of my novel (who promptly ghosted me) said, “The demographics aren’t on my side.” I’m not picking on trans people by my observation, just being realistic. And, I think, the bigger issue is that I even bring up this fact of life — even if it’s meant in jest.

My Comments on “Liberal White Women”
Another running gag on this blog is the idea that my novel will offend “liberal white women” and, as such, I’m screwed. I honestly don’t know one way or another what this mythical demographic will think. I just occasionally find myself full of angst over the part-time sex worker nature of my heroine and as part of that angst, I mention liberal white women. Just like with my comments on trans people, it’s more a testament to my sense of humor than it is me picking on the group. But we live in a humorless age without any sense of nuance, so I guess I have only myself to blame.

My Political Ranting
My politics generally fit within the center-Left “media narrative,” but I guess it’s possible that some of my edgier hot takes might alarm some people. You can never tell these days. People are just to touchy about any and everything that it could be that some people doing due diligence on me would think my political rantings are just yet another sign of what a fucking crank I am.

My Angst Over The “Woke Cancel Culture Mob”
If someone gets upset over this, then, I dunno what to say. My ranting about what I fear the “woke cancel culture mob” MIGHT think about my novel is just me being my usual angst-ridden self. And, I can see how if you were a “liberal white woman” with a clear set of goals for a story that me ranting about how much I fucking hate the Bechdel Test might be a serious turn off to the point you wouldn’t want anything to do with me.

The Part-Time Sex Worker Angle Of My Novel
This is a tough one. I find myself vacillating wildly between being overcome with self-doubt about this element of my heroine and thinking it’s pretty cool. It’s an interesting way to have built-in conflict for my heroine and helps with character development. And, yet, by definition, doing such a thing at all as a smelly middle-aged CIS white male is loaded and provocative to the tender sensibilities of some “liberal white women” who might be, in general, members of the mythical “woke cancel culture mob.” (wink.) I will note that I was doing some some editing today and re-reading the novel gave me renewed hope that maybe I’ve stumbled across a really interesting story.

Miscellaneous Kookiness On My Part
This is difficult because it’s not something I can pin down. There’s a chance that someone with, like, a career and reputation could read this blog and just blanch. They just wouldn’t like the vibe I give off. Add to this how much I retweet pictures of hot chicks on Twitter and…oh boy…I could totally see some “normal” person being turned off by…ME.

Existential Angst Over My Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I find myself really struggling with the fact that my nightmare of someone not being willing to work with me after doing due diligence on me has come true and its implications.

I keep wondering if I’ve made a huge mistake by having my heroine be a part-time sex worker. Talk about self-doubt! And, yet, the key thing for me is the story is coherent and cogent. There is a logic to why I’ve decided to do this. I feel as though it makes the story really different and unique — just like me — and I feel as though fuck it, it’s the story I want to tell.

But I have to accept that between the inclinations of liberal white women — wink — and the “woke cancel culture mob” I’m not doing myself any favors by doing such a thing. It’s a risky thing to do, especially as an aspiring first-time novelist.

Mood.

And I only add to this problematic situation by using more than one POV and writing from a female POV at times.

But I have my vision for this novel and I am too stubborn to do anything about it.

I am, however, going to really begin work on my backup scifi novel. I’m proud of the main novel I’m writing — risks and all — but I’m smart enough to know maybe it’s time to accept how difficult pitching such a “racy” novel may be. I’m going to start working on the characters for the backup scifi novel ASAP.

Freedom’s Just Another Name For Nothing Left To Lose

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Oh boy.

I feel really sad, like a cute girl I was interested in told me to “scram.”

My nightmare about this novel has happened — someone did due diligence on me by reading this blog and didn’t like what they saw. This has really rattled my cage because it’s exactly a fear I’ve had for some time.

I called it.

I called what might be a problem when I start to talk to people outside of my delusional bubble — the moment they look into who I am, they will get turned off.

This event has focused my mind. I am going to keep going with the novel, but my expectations have been adjusted considerably. AND it hits home that I need to start working on a backup plan. The scifi novel I have rolling around in my head seems a lot more important now.

I need a novel that is a lot more marketable and fits modern reading conventions as opposed to one that is modeled after what Stieg Larsson did. Hopefully, I can juggle the two different projects without too much trouble.

But the key take away from this debacle is the issue of expectation. It’s clear I’ve shot my self in the foot making jokes about liberal white women. When actual liberal white women read this blog and see my silliness they take it a lot more seriously than it was intended and are repelled.

As such, I have to go into the next step of this novel writing journey with my eyes wide open. There is a very good chance that I am going to fail in an astonishing, catastrophic manner — because of who I am.

I don’t quite know what to make of this. The thing I’ve assumed would happen — that my freaky weirdo personality would turn off people who read this blog — has actually happened. This is a very alarming development because just like my age, I can’t help who I am.

I wear my heart on my sleeve and am 100% extroverted. So, generally, if I’m thinking about it, I write about it — somewhere — in a public manner. This unsettling development is a ping from what I should expect when I try to query this novel.

As I keep saying, the fact that I’m too weird for some people — and my novel may be too “racy” for liberal white women because it has a heroine who is a part-time stripper…is very unsettling.

And it’s not just that. Come to think of it, I realize I’ve also waded into the trans right movement controversy and there’s such a strict orthodox about that that I probably violated some really important ideological point at some point and didn’t even realize it. Ugh.

So. The take away is I have to adjust my expectations going forward about what may happen when I query this novel. ALSO, I really, really need to use some of my time on my scifi novel. The scifi novel doesn’t have any strippers and is just a pretty basic scifi novel that will adhere to the conventions

Back In The Saddle Again

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

After a bit of self-doubt recently, I’m again working hard on the third draft of this novel. I have printed out the first half of the second act and I hope to get through it pretty quickly.

Believe.

I still have a fair deal of writing and rewriting to do, but I’m confident that I will get to the midpoint of the novel a lot quicker than I had thought. What really keeps me going is not only what an interesting story I’ve come up with, but how the novel tells a cogent, coherent story.

It’s not at all the story I had expected to tell when I started this journey several years ago, but it’s A Story, which is all that matters.

And I’m aware that the story is “racy” at times. And, yet, I don’t think there’s anything about the story I can’t finesse through editing. But just introducing the idea of my heroine owning a strip club introduces an element of “raciness” that I just can’t avoid.

My heroine has the same phenotype as Corrie Yee.

There’s not much point in introducing such a unique element to the story without leaning into it and exploring as many weird angles as possible. I am also very aware that if I magically manage to successfully pitch this novel that the “part-time sex worker” angle of things is all anyone will want to talk about, especially in marketing of the novel.

And that element of the novel might make the “woke cancel culture mob” very, very angry with me. Of course, if I was an undocumented trans woman, they would praise me for how I was showing women using their sexuality in an empowering manner. I just can’t win. I can’t help who I am and I try my best to be as empthetic as possible to the female experience.

But I’m a smelly CIS white male — and a middle aged one at that! — so I should just twiddle my thumbs in bed and stare at the ceiling until I drop dead.

Lulz.

Anyway. I hope to zoom through the first half of the second act and reach the midpoint of the novel pretty soon.

I’m Really Worried This Novel Will Be Too Long

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The Beta Draft of this novel clocked in at about 80,000 words. I was taken aback by this because I had give myself 100,000 words and, according to the scene count I had in my outline, it seemed I would reach that. After a moment’s reflection, I realized in my rush to finish the novel that the second draft had a lot of short scenes which accounted for relatively low word count.

This time around with the third draft, however, I am really concerned that I will blow past the 100,000 word sweetspot. If I can keep the novel down to about 140,000 words I will be pleased. The novel is really engaging and tells a coherent story, but if it’s 140,000 words I worry that I won’t be able to pitch it.

My worry about this is so severe that I continue to be interested in a scifi concept I have rolling around in my mind. I’ve developed it some, but the main novel has so consumed my life that it’s difficult for me to figure out how to pull my attention away from it.

It will be interesting to see how things work out.