Tag: Hollywood

The ‘Purple’ Politics Of Blue People: James Cameron’s ‘Avatar — The Way Of Water’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

My New Year’s Resolution / change as I turn 50 is that I’m going to stop walking out of movies so quickly. As such, I watched the entirety of Avatar — The Way Of Water even though I was very unhappy to be there for much of the time. Not that it was a bad movie, it’s just the moment I understood what was going on I found the whole thing very boring from my own personal storytelling metrics. And maybe it wasn’t even that it was “boring” per se, so much as there was no need for that movie to be as long as it was.

You could have easily made that movie 2 hours and it would have been a much, much better movie. There was just too much self-indulgent padding in it for my liking.

But that’s not what this post is about — it’s about the native politics of the movie. Is the movie “woke?” That is a very good question that is not as easy to answer as you might think. Cameron uses my favorite storytelling tool — subtext — to tell a pretty New Age-ie type story about the Gaia theory set on a different planet. And there’s a lot of “noble savage” floating around in the movie as well.

And, yet, there is also a lot of hoo-rah military porn in there Red State people. Just its presence is enough for jarheads who go see the movie with their girlfriends to get off on it — even if it’s presented in a negative light. I don’t think, however, that Reds would process it as “being bad.” They would just root for the “star people” to win the battle with the blue “noble savages.” In fact, if anything, the fact that “star people” get their comeuppance in the end is the thing that will make Reds the most upset about the movie and suspect that Cameron is being “woke.”

But I think some of some of it is Cameron isn’t “woke” so much as he has a pretty good sense of the expectations of modern audiences and, as such, he felt he couldn’t go totally in the direction of either Reds or Blues.

I liked the movie…I guess? I just thought it was way, way, way too long. I do find it interesting that Cameron found a way to placate both sides of the political debate — in a way.

Maybe I Should Become An AGI Ethicist

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

One of my favorite characters in fiction is Dr. Susan Calvin, robot psychiatrist. Given how many short stories there are to potentially adapt, I have recent come to believe that Phoebe Waller-Bridge would be the perfect person to play the character in a new movie franchise.

A future Dr. Susan Calvin?

I am also aware that apparently one hot new career field of late is being an “AGI Ethicist.” But for, well, (waves hand) I think I would be a great one. I love to think up the worst possible scenario to any situation and I think a lot. But I’m afraid that ships has sailed.

I’m just too old and it would take too much time to learn all the necessary concepts surrounding the field to do formalize my interest. So, it’s back to being an aspiring novelist — if human novelists are even a thing by the time I try to query this novel I’m working on.

Given we may be about to enter a severe recession in 2023 and recessions are usually when there’s a lot adoption of new technology…I may not be too hysterical to fear novelists may be quaint by late 2023 – early 2024.

It does make one think of what jobs will still exist if you combine AGI, automation and robotics. These are macro trends that are all coming to a head a lot sooner than any of us might have otherwise expected. Given what’s going on with chatbot technology the current moment in time definitely seems like the quiet before the storm.

The years 2023 ~ 2025 could be some of the most significant in human history if we’re trying to solve the political problem of Trump at the same time the Singularity is happening all around us. Good luck.

Paranoia Will Destroya

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve been feeling pretty paranoid since I saw someone from Hollywood snooping around this blog in my Webstats interested in how long it’s going to take me to start querying my first novel. My fear is that when I sent my outline to a manuscript consultant, she sent it to someone she knows in Hollywood and they’re going to use it as the basis of a screenplay.

This is completely bonkers for a number of reasons.

One, I’m making a connection that I just have no idea is there. Just because I sent the outline to her, doesn’t mean she took the next step of sending it to someone else. And I have no idea if she has any connections in Hollywood she could send it to in the first place. I do know, however, from personal experience that the moment you send something to someone, it inevitably gets passed around.

But, still, I’m giving the two events a connection and a narrative that just doesn’t exist in real life. I can’t let my personal insecurities about such things overwhelm me.

I guess some of it is what happened with ROKon Magazine. Annie Shapiro really did “steal” the magazine from me, bringing it back in secret behind my back, so once bitten twice shy and all that. And I suppose I just have to process the possibility that Hollywood might “steal” my idea, even though it’s definitely just a “possibility” and not a “probability.”

I just can’t let this irrational fear consume me. It’s embarrassing how much time I’ve thought about this the last few days. But I just can’t allow such an irrational fear stop me from moving forward. As I keep saying — make decisions on what you do know, not on what you don’t know.

And I think I’m probably be a bit full of myself to even think it’s possible that Hollywood would “steal” my idea in the first place. I know how hard it is to get ANYTHING produced and my outline wasn’t THAT good.

It’s possible that the person I saw in my Webstats from LA was simply curious when the novel I’m working on might come out and that’s it. No nefarious plot against me. That definitely seems to make a lot more sense than my paranoid delusions.

The Rise Of AI Hacks

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

This is all very speculative, of course, but what if the very thing we think is exclusively human — the arts — is the first thing that is “disrupted” by hard AI? How long is it before we watch a movie written by an AI, using AI generated actors and using an AI generated musical score?

I’m not saying any of that would be all that great, but then, the vast majority of screenplays and music are kind of hackish.

I guess what I’m wondering is, will there be anything left that is uniquely enough human that an AI can’t do it if not better, then at least formulaically? A lot of younger people in Hollywood have to struggle making bad movies for years before they can produce something really good.

What if the vast majority of “good enough” art of any sort is generated by a hard AI that simply knows the tried and true formula? Will audiences even care if the latest MCU movie is completely AI generated? Of course, the legal implications of who owns an AI generated actor would be huge, but not insurmountable.

I think there will be a lot of gnashing of teeth the moment hard AI can generate screenplays. That is going to make a lot of very well paid creative types in Hollywood scream bloody murder to the point where they may attempt, neo-Luddite style to ban the practice altogether. I don’t see that working, however. The moment it’s possible, the Hollywood studios will abuse it like crazy because they can save a lot of money.

But, to be honest, I struggle to think of ANYTHING that some combination of hard AI and robotics won’t be able to do better than a human at some point. We need to start asking how we’re going to address that possibility now, instead of letting MAGA somehow use it to turn us in to fascist state.

Pondering What Is Known About ‘Indiana Jones & The Dial Of Destiny’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

From the title alone, it seems as though there may be some time travel involved in the latest Indiana Jones movie. But for me, the really intriguing element to the movie is the status of Phoebe Waller-Bridge. It sure would make a lot of sense for her to take up the fedora for a continuation of the franchise in some way.

While from what I’ve read of these things, both Harrison Ford and the producers of the film say this is not the case — so goes Ford so goes Indy — I still have a suspicion that they’re at least going to dangle the idea of Waller-Bridge somehow being an Indy-like character going forward.

Of course, if she did, the usual culture warrior suspects would come out of the woodwork to scream at the top of their lungs that the “woke cancel culture mob” is destroying yet another beloved American institution. But I would be all for Waller-Bridge being our new Indy.

I think she’s got exactly what it takes to for the role. I just don’t know how they would manage to shoehorn her character into the “Indiana Jones and the…” nomenclature. I suppose they would just keep “x and the x” system of naming in the spirit of the Ford-helmed films.

It would be interesting to see a Waller-Bridge type character doing Indy-style gallivanting in the 1970s and 80s. But I suspect what MIGHT happen, is if there is any recasting that we would see a hard reboot of the franchise in the guise of someone playing a “young” Indy having adventures in, say WW1 or so. I know there were the “Young Indy” adventures, but I’m thinking something closer to whatever the character might have been up to in their 20s.

I don’t really know the chronology of the character, so, lulz.

Having said all that, I still think Waller-Bridge would be a great Dr. Susan Calvin. There are the short stories in that universe that could be adapted into movies, my favorite being “Liar!”

But, anyway, lulz. No one listens to me.

‘The Martian’ — But On A Macro Scale

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m really fascinated by how you might bootstrap human civilization on a new planet if you forced us to collectively only use the technology we have today. So, in essence, what if a Galactic Empire or some sort of human-made AI told us that Earth was doomed and billions could be saved — but with a catch.

While a few billion humans could get zapped to a new habitable planet, once we got there, there would be limited help. Humans would have to unite and start from scratch.

I keep thinking about this scenario whenever I have a little extra mental energy to use — which is often — and at the moment, I’ve come up with something like this.

What you do is, say you had three habitable earth-like planets to play with. Given the US’ history of being a national of immigrants, you initially zap everyone to a planet that is “Planet America,” if you will. This causes inherent conflict — a lot of people on earth hate America and what it stands for — and, as such, gives you something to play with on a storytelling basis.

But, wait, there’s more. You just use the Planet America as your first planet. The other two planets would be planned to be Planet China and Planet India, given the populations of those two nations.

What’s compelling, of course, relative to, say a novel or a Hollywood movie, is that American audiences would really, REALLY get off on the idea of America being an entire planet. And, really, it would be really easy to turn a novel or movie on this subject into a metaphor about the “crisis at the border” that fucking fascist MAGA shitheads keep blathering on about.

Anyway. the crux of the matter is, it would be really, really hard to do this, even with a lot of people. The issue is — it would take at least a century to replicate the globalized world that we live in if you’re starting from scratch with only a minimum amount of help from the thing that got you to the planet in the first place.

It’s all very interesting and if I become a successful novelist, it might be something I turn my full attention to.

The Academy Needs To Give Up On The Oscars

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I love movies and I love the Academy Awards. Growing up, they were one of the highlights of my TV watching year. But now, in our hypermedia Tik-Tok, post-Slap era…the Academy Awards finds itself at a crossroads.

My favorite podcast about Hollywood and showbiz.

The Academy needs to give up. Give up on broadcast TV. Give up on trying to appeal to anyone but the base. Just wallow in why people watch the show to begin with and move on.

Move the Oscars to a streamer and let the thing run for four or more hours. No more playing people off when they give their acceptance speech. Just let the Academy Awards evolve into the niche product that it inevitably will become anyway.

The media world is just so diverse and fragmented that the Oscars don’t have a chance. They’re never going to garner the huge audiences that they once did. The mainstream audience has moved on. The Oscars should, too.

Daydreaming About NYC & LA

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Let’s do yet ANOTHER deep dive in to what might happen to me if I found myself able to live in New York City or Los Angles for a few weeks (months) with a job of some sort and ready access to transportation.

New York City
The thing about New York City is, from my experience, the city is so brutal on an social basis that the argument can me made that I’m full of shit whenever I talk about what a success I might be there. There’s a reason why the song says, if you can make it here you can make it “anywhere.” The metrics for success in NYC are very cold and clinical. Do you have a lot of money? Are you tall and traditionally good looking? Do you have a huge cock? (For women….were you a model in your youth?)

If you don’t have any of those, then, well, you’re not really very successful in New York City.

So, I probably am being pretty delusional — maybe a lot delusional — to think I could curry any favor, find any success just by living in New York City any duration of time. It’s really fun to think about, given what happened to me in Seoul….but my sell-by date is probably a sold 10 years in the past. I’m old and just not as cute as I used to be. I might prompt some interesting discussions once I leave the bar but….that would be it. I would be just another really interesting person in a sea of really interesting people floating around New York City and that would be that.

Los Angles
I would probably have a minor better chance of success because, well, Los Angles is a storytelling town. And it’s within the realm of possibility that I would cruise into a bar have a really great conversation with some random person and the next thing I know I’m explaining in vivid detail my vision for a movie the movie “11” staring Emily Ratajkowski who at that moment will be looking at me with wide eyes, hoping that I might get a three picture deal from my new best friend elsewhere at the cocktail party.

Or something like that.

The stuff of Hollywood dreams — La La Land and all that.

But even that movie is pretty much just a bunch of bullshit. I can schmooze with the best of them. And because of all the writing I’ve been doing with these six novels…I’m pretty primed to write some screenplays.

And…yet…there continues to be the issue of my age. I’m just not as cute as I used to be. I’m old, old, old. And, well that’s it. If I find any success it is probably going to be because of one of two things — I sell my first novel and it’s some sort of success, or I fall into some money and I buy the photographic equipment I need to start that career.

Anyway. I’m not getting any younger. It’s put up or shut up time.

Hollywood Should Adapt ‘Fletch & The Man Who’ Next

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I really love the Fletch series of novels because, as a young man, they were short, amusing easy reads with gratuitous sex in them. One of my favorite Fletch books is “Fletch And The Man Who.”

It’s a murder mystery set during a presidential campaign. It’s meant to evoke the book “The Boys On The Bus.” I could see a modern day version of this concept being a lot of fun if the “Man Who” in question was a Trump-type character. That would be a great way talk about the surreal nature of modern American politics in the context of a comic mystery.

And, yet, they need to hurry up.

They need to greenlight such a movie now — hopefully because “Confess, Fletch” is a success. They could probably get such a movie out in time for the 2024 presidential cycle.

As we know, of course, late 2024, early 2025 might be pretty turbulent. We may have to avoid car bombs to get to the theatre to see the movie.

Who Should Pete Davidson Date Next?

Now that Pete Davidson is single and ready to mingle, who should he fuck, I mean date? Here are some options for our modern Warren Betty.

Emily Ratajkowski
This is the top pick for people on Tik-Tok, apparently. It would definitely help their careers if they hooked up. He’s all chaotic energy and she’s got a very, very languid personality. So, they would play off of each other very well. If they were able to linger together long-term they would be an It Couple.

Miley Cyrus
She and Davidson are so much alike in some ways, that it seems like they would have a really intense relationship then burn out as quickly as it all started. But for the few weeks their relationship existed, they would be an It Couple.

Julia Fox
They circulate in the same circles. Of course, this would open “Skete” up to talk of “sloppy seconds.” But despite this, they would make a cute couple and it would be the very definition of an “It Couple.” She’s an It Girl and he’s an It Boy. So, perfect.

Alexa Chung
She likes rocker badboys and she’s a brunette. So, I think she might be open to a little fling with Pete Davidson. He’s a little younger than her, I think, but that hasn’t stopped the Stud of Our Generation.


Cassidy Hutchinson
She’s a cute brunette and it would break the Internet (or at least Twitter) if they dated for even a little bit.

Melania
This one is silly, but it would be funny if Melania left orange dingus for Pete Davidson.