Tag: Hollywood

I’ll Put A Move On You, Redux


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

People are always underestimating me. Always. In large part, this comes from I’m such an extroverted daydreamer that any normal person (if they’re paying attention) sees me as little more than a fool, and a drunk fool at that.

And, yet…

Things have changed. My life has changed significantly in the last year, affording me just the right set of circumstances necessary for me to be within shouting distance of actually being able to have the time necessary to develop and write a damn good novel.

So here I am. I’m completely, totally obsessed with this novel. It has consumed my every waking moment. So much so that sometimes I need to distract myself to get any work on it done. I’m so wrapped up obsessing about the exact sequence of events in the plot that my mind grows clouded and I need to read something or go for a walk. Anything to not think about the issue at hand.

But things are moving along quickly. I’ve finished “Part 1” of the novel, and now I’m well on my way to wrapping up development on the first draft of Part 2. I’m going to give myself some wiggle room in my timetable, however. It seems as though sometimes I need to just clear my mind a little bit before I can produce my best product possible.

Anyway, once more into the breach.

Of #MeToo & The Allegorical #Thriller I’m Developing & #Writing



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Let me begin by saying I’m an idiot and don’t listen to me. I don’t know anything about anything. Go read something else. Having said that, I will note that it’s interesting there is something of a #MeToo subgenre that exists. Now, the issue is, the female rage that produced that subgenre is all very valid and I validate it.

In fact, only because I’m an asshole that I’ve decided, as a man, to embrace the #MeToo movement in as empathetic a manner as possible as a plot point in the thriller I’m writing. Of course, given what this novel is meant to be — a very diffused expression of my rage against the surreal excesses of the Trump Era –my hand is pretty much forced. I feel I have to address things like #MeToo and BLM for no other reason than, well, they’re crucial to understanding the historic clusterfuck we’re living through.

The only issue is, well, ME. I’m a middle aged white male member of the patriarchy and hence need to be slayed. But, like I said, I just don’t see how I can do what I want to do without wallowing in things like #MeToo and BLM. In that respect, I feel like I’m looking to Phoebe Waller-Bridge for inspiration. She doesn’t back down. She has her truth and she’s going to tell it, damn the consquences.

Anyway, that’s where I am right now. I’ve come up with a unique way to talk about #MeToo as an existential part of the novel I’m developing. But, like I said, I’m an asshole. Or, as the late Annie Shapiro would say, “a delusional jerk with a good heart.”

I Have No Idea What I’m Doing With This #Novel



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m simply an aspiring novelist. I have no idea what I’m doing. It amazes me that there are people who have been writing novel after novel for decades with no sign of letting up.

Developing this novel is a huge amount of work for me. All I have is my gut, some extra time and an absolute white hot rage against the Trump Administration and MAGA. I feel like I’ve made every mistake you can possibly make when it comes to developing this novel. And, really, that may be the ultimate take away from this project, regardless of its outcome — now I know how *I* write a novel (and, by extension, I suppose a screenplay.)

All I can compare this novel to is someone deciding to become a weightlifting champion in their middle age. It simply takes time to build up the bulk to get anywhere near that. So, I’m two years into the process.

I think my writing and storytelling has improved, but I continue to operate in a vacuum so I really don’t know. Maybe? I can’t get anyone to be my “reader,” so I still have nothing to work with other than my gut.

In hindsight, the biggest structural screw up I made was throwing myself into a conceit that, at the time, I simply was not up to telling properly. It’s taken two years of thinking (and reading) to get to the point where I think I may have figured out how to tell a story I pretty much thought up over the course of a few hours one weekend.

I really need to read more.

Trump Continues To Enrage Me & Inspire Me To Write



by Shelt Garner
@shetgarner

I’m a man of peace. A man of ideas.

I also feel extremely powerless right now. Trump is burning the country I love to the ground and, really, all I got is the ability to tell a good story. That’s the origin of me working on this novel for two years.

Every time I feel a bit uninspired or discouraged, Trump and MAGA do something that so enrages me that I redouble my efforts to explicate the Trump Era in an allegorical thriller. Though, to be honest, to call this an “allegorical” thriller is more how-the-sausage-is-made talk than anything else.

I *see* it as an “allegorical thriller” when, in fact, if I do my job right you, the audience, will simply see it as a thriller with an interesting conceit and that will be that.

I do need to hurry up with this thing, though. I simply have no idea what the context will be when I try to sell it. It will be a lot different if Trump is still in office than if he’s not. And there is the issue of setting. This is not “A Confederacy of Dunces” — my sister can’t sell it 11 years after my death.

This thing needs to be sold sooner rather than later. If it isn’t, then I will simply self-publish, finish the second book in the story and then, I dunno, maybe write a screenplay?

Developing and #Writing A #Novel Is A Marathon, Not A Sprint


by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It looks a though it’s going to be the rest of the week before I can finish up Part 2 of the novel I’m working on. I have suddenly flashes of inspiration here and there that help the novel lurch forward.

But it’s all very haphazard.

It just takes come — and maybe a lot of booze — to see things in a different way. I’ve been developing this thing for two years and I have a lot of scenes established in my mind that I move around as needed. It’s when I have to think up entirely new scenes that things slow down.

But I’m pretty content right now. Things are moving forward.

I simply need to do a lot of reading when I’m not developing. I find reading really forces me out of my comfort zone. It helps me look at things in a different way because it distracts me, if nothing else.

I hope to wrap up development of Part 2 by the end of the week then I’ll start writing again. Hopefully. It takes time to sketch out individual scenes once I get the macro done.

Jessica Chastain & A Major Character In The #Novel I’m Developing & #Writing



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Here I am again, doing the thing I hate so much — fucking preening about who might play a character in my “WIP.” And, yet, not only does no one read this blog but in the context of what I’m writing about it’s not THAT much annoying preening.

You see, I have no idea what I’m doing with this novel. I work almost entirely in a vacuum. I just have my gut to tell me what works and what doesn’t work. In fact, that’s probably been the biggest issue when it comes to development — I sometimes have to issues of equal value in my mind and I can’t figure out which is more important.

But one thing they tell you is in the second half of the novel, after the midpoint, you need one of two things: a death or the introduction of a new character. So, for me it’s a new character.

I really like the vibe Jessica Chastain puts out in her roles. So, I’ve modeled an important character that comes into the plot in the second half after her. Or, actually, she’s actually inspired by a woman I knew once who was Perfect. In fact, she was so perfect that she was completely unrelatable to anyone else. She was simply so close to The Ideal Woman that it was off putting to everyone else around her.

What’s worse, she was completely oblivious to this and was STILL unhappy with her life.

Anyway. She was beautiful, smart and funny. And very married.

I just decided to mix her up with Jessica Chastain in Zero Dark Thirty and ta-da! Character!

I haven’t gotten to her part of the story, yet. But I am looking forward to writing that character. She’s going to give my Hero hell.

The Stuff They Never Tell You About Developing & #Writing A #Novel



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

One of the reasons why having an endless supply of rage against the Trump Administration comes in handy is you need a lot — A LOT — of energy to develop and write a novel, at least the way I’m doing it.

I spend way too much time on simple maintenance of some pretty prosaic things. I print shit out all the times and sometimes a hole punch will malfunction on me and I have to start all over again.

I spend a lot of time staring at my printer seething with rage against the Trump Administration, believing that there’s at least a chance that my writing might make a difference in some small way.

Maybe it’s delusional, but one man’s delusion in another man’s dream, or vision.

There’s a reason why writers — and other creative types — are often pretty much just crackpots. I’m using what limited skills I have in a very focused way. So, maybe I have a shot at changing the world, maybe I don’t. I have been called both “delusional and stupid” recently. And the late Annie Shapiro called me a “delusional jerk with a good heart.”

As you can tell, me being delusional is a recurring theme with my critics.

Anyway. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.

But I am very focused. I’m very focused on my dream of writing a novel good enough that someone, somewhere reads it and wants to know what happens next.

‘The Company’ & My Wild Days In Seoul



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

This is an instance of me either being extremely delusional (which is very possible) or sensing something that is true. Way back when, when I was living in Seoul, I was a man on fire. I was EXTREMELY CONSPICUOUS. So much so, that it’s probably reasonably likely that…uhhh…some spooks…in Seoul probably at least were aware of me.

I say this only because given where it is, it seems reasonable to assume that Seoul is crawling with spooks. Like a whole lot. And when I was there, there was a huge fucking military base in the middle of the city. And I was frequenting places like Haebangchon that probably had some military intelligence people living there. (At least in my fevered imagination about a decade later.)

Anyway, the only reason I bring his somewhat (ok, maybe a lot) bonkers idea up is I keep getting the occasional ping in my Webstats from people looking at this Website from Seoul. It makes no sense. None. I haven’t been in Seoul for about a decade now and, so, what? Why? I have been talking to the FBI for the novel and I even went so far as to mention “The Company” to the FBI PR guy.

I dunno. Just seems logical that some long-term spooky people in Seoul might have gotten wind of what I’m up to and thought they would take a look at my Website to see what was up.

I don’t think you can fully appreciate how insanely conspicuous I was in Seoul at my “height.” I was so balls out nuts someone even put me in a book about crazy expats.

All I can say is, I’m a changed man. I’ve learned humility.

#Write What You Know: This #Novel Is A Very Garbled Version Of My Personal History



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

For about a decade, I’ve struggled with how to tell the story of the ROKon Magazine era of my life in Seoul. Little did I know that I was going to pretty much throw that story up in the air, scramble it and then plop it in the United States about a decade after it happened.

And make it an allegorical thriller of the Trump Era!

But, here we are.

This novel is very personal to me for a number of reasons. I’ve finally figured out a way to convey how bonkers, unique and special the late Annie Shapiro was. Or, at least, the very romanticized version of her I remember all these years later.

I really want to convey Annie Shapiro in the novel and, as such, I lean into what I remember of her when constructing my heroine. (And the heroine’s mother.) It fits very well into my overall vision for the novel.

The thing about writing your first novel, at least for me, is when you actually get into it, you find yourself throwing everything you have at it. But you have to be careful about that. Or, if you’re going to do it, you have to make it seamless. It has to make sense. It can’t just be a jumble of grievances, pet peeves and fond memories throw together without any connection.

You have to have a canon, a plot and characters who inhabit this mixture of goals in a meaningful manner. I have worked so, so very hard to create a universe that I believe in so absolutely that you, the reader, will also believe it’s possible.

We’ll see, I guess.

Zendaya & My Continuing Struggle With My Heroine’s Relationship With Her Appearance



by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The future is brown. At least in the United States. So, from the very beginning of the process of developing this novel, I knew my heroine was going to be brown. After about two years of development, all I can say is: my heroine looks like Zendaya.

It’s eerie how what I imagine my heroine looking like matches Zendaya. I originally thought she was too short, but when I looked up her height, I realized she was exactly right.

Again, no one reads this blog, so I’m just talking to myself.

Anyway, another thing I struggle with is how to make my heroine physically attractive without people simply dismissing the entire story as an extended sex fantasy on my part. That’s a real issue at this point. All I can say is this is NOT a sex fantasy. It’s just I thought it would be more interesting if my heroine was demonstrably attractive and part of the story was her conflicted relationship to her beauty.

But I also struggle to do everything in my power to flip the script on the “sexy slutty assassin” trope. I really try to flesh the character — and her motivations — out. I just feel it’s dumb to not give the audience what it wants. Why NOT have a hot heroine? As long as I not only flip the script but also flesh the character out as much as possible, well, lulz?

All I can say is I definitely now see it as something of a challenge to prove my heroine isn’t constructed so I can have sex with her in my imagination. I see her as more of a willful child at this point, regardless. While she is hot, she’s also flawed and damaged.

She’s definitely not a Lisbeth Salander clone, however. My heroine is very more accessible and, like, uh…fun? But she’s got issues and those issues cause a lot of problems for everyone around her, which, of course, makes for a great plot.

But I dunno. I’ve obsessed over this particular issue for two years. I’m going to go to great pains to make it clear my heroine is not a sexxy slutty assassin. Though, I mean, come on, people. Get over yourself. People read novels to escape. Your job as a writer is to take their hand and give them interesting characters who do interesting things. If you get so wrapped up in your fucking agenda that the story grinds to a halt, then, well, you have Booksmart.

I want this to be a fun read. Something you pick up and end up reading in about three days. That was what I loved about Stieg Larsson’s stuff and if I can do the same with my novel(s), then it will be a dream come true.