Sizing Up My Realistic Chances Of Being Traditionally Published

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner


There are a number of reasons why, over and above the actual quality of my writing in the scifi dramedy I’m writing, that I won’t — ever — get traditionally published.

Tied for first place, I think, are me being a big old fucking kook that no one takes seriously or listens to and my age. I think both of those to metrics are going to be really tough to overcome.

I could write the fucking Bible, but I’m just too fucking old. I suspect publishers want a spry 30 year old, not some glum 50something. And, let’s not forget what a fucking weirdo most people think I am.

And it’s not like I can hide what a kook I am. Any liberal white woman literary agent that snoops as part of due diligence on me will soon realize I’m not only old, but I’m a loudmouth crank.

But I’m not going to get discouraged. While they’re life, there’s hope. And, as such, I am going to keep going, no matter what. Though, sometimes, I really do think I’m more likely to find a career in some post-Singularity world helping our ASI overlords than I am going to get published traditionally.

And, yet, we’ll see, won’t we?

Writing A Novel Can Be So Slow At Times

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I can be moody as fuck and as such I can go long stretches of time not really feeling like working on this scifi dramedy novel I’ve been working on for a few months now. But, then, at the same time, I will go a number of days where I sprint.

So, I guess, it all kind of evens out. Maybe?

It definitely looks like I’m going to maybe finish this up April-May 2026. If that happens, I will miss the spring querying season for various post-production reasons including having to see if I can find anyone to beta read.

And, of course, general editing issues.

But I have vowed to myself that I’m going to actually sit down and read some of the how-to-query books I have. That’s a Jan. 1st thing for me to do. I still have a few days to just drift through life, not really knowing what is going to happen next.

I need to focus, however. I need to really see if I can get this damn thing done sooner rather than later. I think –no, I know — that I can.

It is going to be really interesting and amusing to see if, when they do due diligence on me if all the liberal white women who — in my imagination — make up the literary agent class will be aghast at this blog’s content or not. In the past, any “serious” “normal” person who has offered to help me out with this novel who reads the blog invariably blanches and backs off.

But, who knows. Maybe if I write a good enough novel that won’t be the problem I fear it will be.

Time To Take Querying This Scifi Dramedy Novel Seriously

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Because I’m a weirdo, I used my Christmas present to buy for the second time, the Writer’s Digest Guide to Literary Agents. I probably could have found the version I bought before, I was like, lulz.

So, today, probably, I’m going to get a new book of literary agents to look through. Now, I have not finished the novel yet. I haven’t even gotten to the point where I can give it to beta readers.

But I’m feeling pretty good about the state of the novel, nonetheless. I really need to just hurry up and finish the damn thing. It’s inevitable that someone else is going to realize that there is an audience for a scifi dramedy that doesn’t paint AI androids in a murderous light.

I’m sure there are at least a half-dozen, or more, screenwriters hard at work on a “Annie Hall meets Bladerunner” spec script. While that’s not exactly how I would describe my novel, it’s in a similar vein.

The high concept logline for my novel would probably be, “Her meets Annie Hall with a dabble of Blade Runner.” Something like that. I really want this novel to be as accessible as an Andy Weir novel.

The Martian and Project Hail Mary would be the “comps” of my novel that I will use with literary agents.

I have to accept that I’m a loudmouth crank and that might turn off a lot of the liberal white women who probably (in my imagination at least) make up the vast majority of literary agents. I’m far more anti-MAGA than liberal, but I even though my politics probably align with those of most literary agents, I have some sharp edges because I general have no idea what the “right thing” to do is.

So I zig when other people zag and that can turn people off.

It’s going to be really interesting watching literary agents do due diligence on me by looking at this blog. It will be interesting to see if they are aghast at what a weirdo I am or not.

But I’m ready to endure the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune as the saying goees.

I Fear The ‘Woke Cancel Culture Mob’ May Dislike This Scifi Dramedy I’m Working On (Ugh)

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The next novel I write after this scifi dramedy is going to be as absolutely safe as possible. No sex workers, no strippers, no anything to bother the “woke cancel culture mob.”

But, having said that, I really do like this novel I’m working on right now. It’s really interesting and really gets into the nitty-gritty of what it would be like to have Replicant-like people in society.

So, I’m hoping the snooty woke people who will object to the sex worker elements of this novel will hold their nose and give me something of a pass. I hope. But this novel is compelling and all the sex in it has a point, if nothing else.

Yet, like I said, the next novel I write is going to be a lot more wholesome. I’m tired of writing something interesting, only to have it dismissed as “trashy” because literary types take themselves too seriously.

How To Fix ‘Jay Kelly’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The key problem with the movie Jay Kelly is it’s a movie devoted to explicating rich people problems. And not in an interesting way. The first half of the movie is just a breezy affair where there’s no there there.

There’s just no conflict.

So, if I were to given the opportunity to “fix” the movie Jay Kelly, here’s what I would do. I would infuse some of Woody Allen’s Blue Jasmine movie into the plot. I’d figure out some way to have the hero get out of his comfort zone. Confront that not everyone is thrilled with how fucking rich he is.


I’d do this by either having him go to, say, a Thanksgiving celebration where he met his “loser” brother, or maybe put the hero in a situation where he’s on the cusp of losing everything for some reason. Or maybe have Jay Kelly fall in love with a lower middle class woman with some principle and pluck who he can’t woo by just throwing money at the problem.

I’d do something so there were some…stakes. The actual real movie Jay Kelly has little or no stakes. Things just happen. The second half of the movie does have something happen, but it’s still meh in my book.

I think the movie is a prime example of what’s wrong with Hollywood. Because of the fucking massive structural income inequality in the United States’ economy, the rich people who would otherwise make movies that people might want to actually see are either too fucking woke, or woo or oblivious to focus on telling a good story.

Anyway. I would like to thank Claude LLM for listening to me gripe about how bad Jay Kelly was as I watched it.

Getting A Little Excited

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m breezing through the transformation of the first draft of the scifi dramedy novel into the second draft. At least at the moment. That’s because I’m able to reuse a lot of text that I generated in the first half of the novel.

Things are going to get much, much more difficult when I reach the second half of the novel because I just was more interested in stress-testing the outline that actually worrying about making sure scenes were long enough.

So, I’m going to have go through and really work to make the scenes of the second half proper length and that is going to slow me down some. But, and this is a huge but, I think I’m still on track — maybe — to query this novel in spring 2026.

Maybe.

If that is the case, then I have to start thinking about post-production stuff like querying, getting and agent and…a lawyer? I am totally broke, so unless I can figure out a way to get someone I’m related to do spot me for the costs of a lawyer to look over a book contract…oh boy.

And, yet, on a psychological basis, this is the farthest I’ve ever gotten with a novel so far. I really think I may wrap this baby up sooner rather than later.

Hopefully. Maybe.

But I continue to worry about my bonkers social media output being enough to either make “serious” liberal white women literary agents run away in dismay when they do due diligence on me.

I can’t help who I am, so, lulz?

Continued Musing About My Querying Prospects

Barring some unexpected twist — which is always possible — I’m finally on track to be in querying shape for this sci-fi dramedy novel I’m working on by late spring 2026.

It won’t be easy, but it feels doable.

I’m about to dive into the third act of the newest draft. My hope is to blast through it using the outline as my guide, wrap that up around early January, and then circle back to deepen and polish a lot of the half-formed scenes I left rough on purpose. No one but me will ever see this version, and I needed the freedom to solve the big structural puzzles before worrying about finesse.

What’s been on my mind lately, though, is how my social-media footprint might affect my chances once I start querying. In my head, most agents are liberal white women, and I worry that some of my louder, crankier posts from years past might make someone wince.

I’ve been a rambunctious loudmouth most of my life, so I’m sure I’ve irritated someone somewhere enough to get myself “canceled.” But honestly, I just want to see how far I can get in this process. That’s the whole goal.

And if I can get even one person — someone who isn’t related to me — to read the whole novel and tell me anything at all about it, I’ll be thrilled. In the past, I’ve handed people my work only to be ghosted.

Ugh.

But onward. One step at a time.

Rachel Sennott Would Be Perfect For A Traditional Heteronormative Romcom

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Rachel Sennott is a prime example of how fucked up Hollywood is right now. Sennott would be perfect to play frustrating Annie Hall-like characters in a few romcom movies. She could legit be “America’s Sweetheart” if she just was willing to do something as pedestrian as be the female romantic lead in a traditional heteronormative romcom.

But, alas, that’s just not in the cards I fear.

She will continue to go the whacked out “woke” route or do really weird hypersexual stories. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a place in the marketplace of ideas for such stories, but, sigh. What could be.

Deep Breath

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ok, I have to admit that there is an element of sex work in this scifi dramedy novel I’m working on. Figuring out exactly where to introduce it and put it has been the toughest structural part of working on this novel.

These days, I’m imagining my female romantic lead of this scifi dramedy looking like Rachel Sennott.

The key thing was that I initially introduced it too soon it — stripping — too soon and it kind of was a downer, specifically how I introduced it.

But gradually, with a lot of help from AI as my manuscript consultant, I finally figured out the best way to approach things. I’m punting the spicy stuff until the second half of the novel, specifically the “bad guys closing in” part of the novel — the second half of the second act.

I’ve pretty much nailed down the first half of the novel, but the second half continues to be very much in flux for various reasons.

Now, in the past when I had stripping as part of the plot of a novel — specifically the Stieg Larsson homage I worked on for years and years — I couldn’t even get an actual human literary consultant to look at it. The moment they realized what I was doing with the novel, they pretty much told me it was trash and why was I even doing it to begin with.

But this go round, I’m hoping that at least, should I figure out where to find the money, that I can get them to at least read the first few chapters. Maybe?

I have my doubts. Literary types just refuse to take me seriously because they think I’m a drunk kook. And I will admit that at times in the past I have resembled that remark. But I’ve sobered up a great deal. The kookiness, however, remains and I just can’t help who I am.

You Thought The Trans Movement Was Controversial, Just Wait Until We Have Real-Life Replicants

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve talked about this before, but I have to talk about it again. The center-Left, especially the far Left is really all in a tizzy about the Trans rights — especially “protecting Trans kids.”

But just wait until we’re all arguing over AI rights, specifically Replicant rights. (Which makes me wonder what we’re going to call human-like synthetic androids when they finally arise.)

Anyway, there are two possible outcomes.

One is, the center-Left embraces android rights like it current does Trans rights. Or, the whole center-Left spectrum will be thrown up in the air and everything will change in ways we can expect.

I’m of the opinion that the Left is going to get really wrapped up in android rights while the far religious Right is going to think thinking androids are an offense against God. All the Pod Save America bros who are so squeamish about AI-human relationships and make so much fun about it will ultimately become ardent supporters of it.

It’s going to be really interesting to see how it all works out.