I’m Studying Fleabag and Lisbeth Salander In An Effort To Make The Characters In My Novel Better

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

It’s embarrassing how much obsessed I’ve been on plot over the years to the disservice of character. But, now, I’m playing catch up. I’m going through this rough version of the third draft and trying to beef up characterizations in the novel.

Fleabag is a very well developed character.

While my heroine is pretty well thought out, the other main characters in then novel too often are pretty piss-poor. I’m beginning to get a better sense of them, however, even if it’s going to take time to turn them from just “moods” into real people you want to spend time with.

My heroine sports a sleeve tattoo similar to the one that Meghan Fox now has, even though I thought of the idea first.

I’m really pleased with my heroine, though. She is very different than Lisbeth Salander, but she’s just about as intriguing, I think, if I do say so myself. I have done a good job thinking up a really, really interesting person. I could totally see her being someone people want to hang out with for a few novels, maybe even seven! (I hope.) I still am uneasy, however, about how there are members of the “woke cancel culture mob” who will be mad at me for being a smelly CIS white male writing from a female POV at times in the novel.

Lisbeth Salander is such a great character.

Ugh. I can’t help who I am.

My fear is that I’m going to get so sucked into trying to improve character that I will get really slowed down and miss sight of the fact that I need A Draft Done by April 19th so I can hand a few physical copies to people at an event I have. I like having a deadline so, lulz, I’m probably just going to buckle down and try to do everything in very short amount of time.

My heroine has the same phenotype as Corrie Yee.

The draft doesn’t have to be PERFECT, just EXIST in a form that isn’t too embarrassing. I really hope to zoom through this rough draft. One real problem I have is I continue to get impatient at the end of the novel and don’t put my all into making the copy as good as possible.

Ugh. I need to figure out a way to be in the right headspace when I work on the later scenes in the novel. I need to be a lot more serious and professional on that front.

Am (Almost) Querying: Worrying About Liberal White Women Literary Agents & What They Will Think Of My Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The worst thing anyone else said about me was that I am a “delusional jerk with a good heart.” That was said to me by the late Annie Shapiro while we were in the process of untangling our hearts and minds from each other at the end of ROKon Magazine.

The late Annie Shapiro and me in better days back when I was cute.

She had a point.

But, I’ve had a brain transplant since that statement, said many moons ago. I’m a much more humble, stable person.

And, yet, here I am, about to plunge into the cold, dark waters of querying — in a few months, maybe more — and I am worried about what the liberal white women who make up the vast majority of agents will think of me and my novel.

The novel itself is problematic because even though it’s really good, the idea that a smell CIS white male would write such a novel might make some liberal white women blanch.

My novel is about a part-time stripper obsessed with owning a rural community newspaper in Virginia.

Or not. I just don’t know. I can’t help how the story I worked itself out of my emotional system. It has a lot of spicy scenes but it does, in fact, tell a compelling story about one woman’s obsession to own a small town community newspaper.

It tells a complete, compelling story. And, what’s more, it leaves you wanting more. It is written in such a way that the audience will want to know what happens next. I have a second novel in the series in the hopper — I just have to write the third draft. So it’s at least possible that I may have TWO novels done this year, ready to query.

But that’s a little bit down the road. I need to chill out for a little bit today then sit down and start writing again. It sucks so bad that I have to do all of this sober, and yet, that’s the reality I face.

Ugh.

Wish me luck.

The Name Game

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I try to do what is right, I really do. And when it comes to developing and writing a novel, there are all the unexpected landmines floating around that you have to avoid.

Lisbeth Salander is the type of name that is so great I wish I could think of something as strong.

One is the subject of names.

In general, I feel pretty safe with all of my character names. And YET it is inevitable that somehow, someway along the process there might be a hitch. There is one character — a huge character in the project six book series, in fact — who has a surname that MIGHT be a problem.

But I’m really, really being paranoid, all things considered.

And I’m not attached to that specific name. If I have to, I have a few backup names I’m willing to switch to. I’m very pragmatic about such things, I just want to be a published author and if it requires a significant rethinking of some element of the six novel project to become one, so be it.

In general, things are going pretty well with this first novel. I’m rather pleased. I just have to press forward. I can’t keep just driving towards my goal. I have to give my life focus and structure if I’m going to wrap this thing up by no later than around July 22th.

I Have A Pretty Great Novel On My Hands

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I have very, very high standards for myself when it comes to storytelling. To the point that it’s very, very difficult for me to consume anyone else’s storytelling if it doesn’t meet what I believe is the quality worth my consumption. I’ve just started watching House of Cards and it is one of the few TV shows that actually DOES meet what I think is the “right way” to tell a story.

My heroine looks like Nathalie Emmanuel as I write her.

It joins TV shows like Mad Men, 30 Rock, Mare of Easttown and Fleabag as TV shows that linger in my mind as I struggle to write my novel.

Having said all that, I’ve finally reached a point in the development and writing of the third draft of this novel where I feel I’m coming into my own. This novel is really fast paced and accessible. While there are some obvious issues — it’s still not dark enough and there’s probably too much sex in the first act — the actual characters and what their motivations are really strong, interesting and intriguing.

Now, for me to sprint to the end of the first act, beginning of the second act which was the first act of the second draft of the novel. I’ve been re-writing a lot of the novel as I’ve transition from the second to third drafts and that has slowed me down.

But I’ve gamed out the entirety of the fourth chapter of the third draft and I think I’m going to cool it for about a day so I can throw myself into writing it all as quickly as I can with fresh eyes. I don’t want to “run hot” and overheat and over extend myself.

In general, however, this novel is beginning to shape up in a way that I feel I won’t embarrass myself when I try to query it later this year.

A lot is going to depend on luck now, I think. Given my vision for the total of six novels in this project if ding-dong Trump becomes POTUS again and we turn into an autocracy, then, lulz, I think this is going to be a very successful series of novels.

Ah ha! I’ve Finally Figured Out What Hollywood Star My Heroine Looks Like — Nathalie Emmanuel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve finally found who I’m thinking of in my mind as I write my heroine and her adventures in my first novel — Nathalie Emmanuel.

Nathalie Emmanuel

My hope is, of course, that I will write a heroine who is as interesting as Stieg Larsson’s Lisbeth Salander. It will be interesting to see how things ultimately work out. A lot of writing a successful novel is just dumb luck. So, lulz, I could write The Bible and because I’m a smelly CIS white male writing from a female POV at times….the woke cancel culture mob will pillory me.

The dream is to write a character as interesting as Stieg Larsson’s Lisbeth Salander.

An Issue Of Verisimilitude

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

If I ever needed a clear sign that, in general, no one takes me seriously, it’s my overall failure to get anyone from my past life with the press industry to answer my call for help about something. (I finally got one person, but that’s really not very many given how many people I reached out to.)

The issue is, I really want to make the situation I’ve come up with for my heroine — that she owns both a strip club (where she occasionally strips to relax) and an alternative weekly — as real as possible. Like, how would that REALLY work out, especially in mid-1990s Richmond, VA?

I’m WELL AWARE that because of human nature and the needs of marketing, that there is a real risk that this novel would be reduced down to two tropes being fused together — “hooker (or sex worker) with a heart of gold” and “sexy slutty assassin” solves a murder mystery.

I think about this even more given how many men my heroine beds in the first act for the purposes of the plot. All the sexxy time is not gratuitous and definitely serves the overall plot. And, in general, I don’t even really show the spicy stuff that much. I do show it some, but it’s hopefully not so much that people get turned off.

And, what’s more, I’ve cut back the sex in the second act. I don’t know, but I think that best practices for storytelling is you delay sexxy time as much as possible. But, lulz, I never do anything the right way.

But the story is getting much, much better in general. I’m really pleased. But I have to prepare for people to attack me for how much sexxy time there is in the novel. While I’m very sex-positive and don’t see my heroine’s sexual activity as “slutty” I’m afraid there will be some people who think I’m replicating Debby Does Dallas with how my heroine seems to have so much sex on the fly.

Ugh. Anyway. Wish me luck.

I Think About Women Readers A Lot As I Write This Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I do not purport to have any special insight into the female mind, but I do, at least, try to cater to that segment of the reading audience as I write this novel. I do this especially given the edgy, loaded nature of the novel.

I hope to write a novel that is as accessible as The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

It’s not every day that your heroine is a part-time stripper.

Now, of course, if I was, say a transgender women writing this type of novel, then I probably be hailed as the second coming of Jesus Christ. But, alas, I’m just a smelly CIS white male — a middle aged one at that! — and, as such, slings and arrows and all that.

I have a vision for this novel and, as such, I’m prepared to take shit for what, of course, will be reduced down to “stripper solves a murder mystery.”

Ugh!

That’s not what’s going on! But no one is going to listen to me. Anything to do with sex and women — especially something out of the ordinary — is the thing that people will focus on. And that doesn’t even begin to address the issue of how Hollywood would market any adaptation of the novel should that miraculous thing somehow happen.

Anyway.

I’m really self conscious about how women readers might react to this novel to a fault. I have a few women “advisers” that help me when I feel a little bit nervous about this or that thing that I might broach in the novel while writing from a female POV.

But, like I said, I can only do so much. I’m a smelly CIS white middle aged male and a vocal minority of the reading audience will dismiss the novel the moment they see what I look like.

I Really Need To Think About Women’s Reaction To My Heroine Being A Part-Time Stripper

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

A lot could go wrong with this novel. I definitely fear someone will steal a creative march on me, if for no other reason, I’m just taking too long. But there’s not much I can do about it. Rome wasn’t built in a day and it’s just taking me a lot longer than I thought to get as far as I have.

But what’s interesting to me is the very thing that makes this novel a bit…edgy…could also be what makes it a success. I am WELL AWARE that because of marketing and human nature that this very interesting situation I’ve come up with will probably be boiled down to, “stripper solves a murder mystery.”

Ugh. That’s not at all what’s going on, but, lulz, what can you do.

But I do think that my heroine is beginning to approach Lisbeth Salander levels of interesting. She could very well be something of an icon if I play my cards right. And the thing that I keep being reminded about is how the interplay between my heroine’s “normal” life of owning an alternative weekly and her “alternative life” of owning a strip club / stripping to relax is something I need to lean into if I’m going to introduce the idea in the first place.

That’s what people — especially women willing to humor me by reading the damn novel in the first place — are going to want to see the most of.

The daydream issue of how Hollywood might address this novel occasionally gives me pause for thought. The obvious way to market the movie is something along the line of the old Pam Anderson movie “Barbwire.”

Double ugh.

The point of the story is not the T&A element of the story, but that by heroine is a woman who has sexual agency and self confidence enough that she is able to be a stripper to relax without giving it much thought.

It’s everyone else — especially horny men — who are the problem.

Anyway, I continue to work my way through the first act of the third draft AGAIN. Hopefully, this time, I will still have momentum enough to make my way through the second and third acts when the time comes.

About To Sprint Forward (Soon)

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m just about to sprint forward with the “Fun & Games” part of this novel. I’ve been doing a lot of constructive daydreaming the last few days in an effort to figure out how to game the rest of the story out. It’s been really, really tough.

But I do think if I just let this process play out that I should get to writing full time again pretty soon. I was kind of sweating it there for a moment until I realized what the problem was. There really wasn’t so much a problem as I needed to go into aggressive daydreaming mode so once I left it, I could throw myself back into writing again.

As all of this is going on, of course, I realize I need to do a lot more reading and watching of TV — and develop other projects. I don’t want to be left holding the back if someone — God forbid — should somehow steal a march on me story wise and I have to fall back to some other project from scratch.

I don’t know when everything is going to sort itself out, but it should be pretty soon. That’s the plan, at least.

I Don’t Have A Problem With Being ‘Woke,’ Just Don’t Come After Me For Being A Male Author Writing From A Female POV In My Novel

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I notice that someone is interested in all my ranting about the “woke cancel culture mob.” So, let me be clear — all my ranting on this subject is usually generated by booze and annoyance that I will be dinged by some hyper-woke people for being a male author writing from a female POV in my novel.

If Stieg Larsson can do that, why can’t I?

Anyway, I also know that being a drunk crank I’ve almost — certainly — done more than one thing in my personal life that will leave the hyper woke aghast. But, all I can say is the worse thing anyone ever said about me was that I’m a “delusional jerk with a good heart.”

My heroine, in my mind, looks like Corrie Yee.

So, yeah, I’m not perfect. But who is? And I generally mean well. So, I find myself wondering if all my talk about consensual kinky sex and periods in this novel will be poo-pooed by woke liberal white women because it’s ME, a smelly CIS white male, who wrote it.

Meanwhile, Emerald Fennell can go way, way off the creative beaten path and is hailed as the best thing since slice bread. It’s shit like that that causes me to rant when I’m drunk. Judge me by work, not by my gender. I GENERALLY support the media narrative about trans rights, etc, but I’m human and I have the occasional stray thought that maybe might get me in trouble with the woke Powers That Be.

I HATE this type of “woke.”

Regardless. My first novel is going well. So well, in fact, that I’m probably going to feel comfortable doing a lot more reading, watching of TV and movies and doing some writing on my “backup stories.”