Trump Endgame Enigma: ‘Jhi-na Syndrome’

by Shelt Garner

I love scenarios. I love weighing different factors, asking “what if” and wondering how a number of conditions would work. Usually my scenarios are the absolute worst-case.

So, let’s play the “What if Trump finally lost his mind” scenario.

Here’s the thing: first, how would we know?

Trump is so conspicuous in his instability, that for him to have finally have cracked, something REALLY Big would have have to happen. I am still of the opinion that Trump is more likely to implode than explode and we’ll simply not see him very much in his inevitable ill-gotten second term. He’ll be catatonic somewhere, babbling about the Deep State.

But, let’s say between now and, say, mid-August, a series of things push Trump over the edge. A combination of a pandemic, a depression, BountyGate and maybe even his taxes being released, becomes such a weigh on his mind that he snaps. I think such a decompensation would come a logic trap — he would absolutely want to win and yet he would absolute know he wasn’t going to win. (Though he might never get that bad since it’s obvious the Russians are going to hack into our election systems in exchange for Trump removing 1/3 of our fighting force out of Germany before September.)

Anyway, let’s just say Trump snaps.

I think a number of things would happen at the same time. A lot of things that have been rolling around his mind would pop out. He might whip is cock out. He might tweet out a dick pic. He might began to tweet out out the N-word to any African American who crosses him. He might simple begin to babble vulgarities at every opportunity. Or even stranger things might happen, like he dives head first into Tik-Tok and starts attempting some of the dances there. Or maybe he really, REALLY makes it clear he wants certain people “reminded of the power of the 2nd Amendment.” He keeps doing this now and no one takes him seriously. What if he won’t shut up about it in a rather manic fashion for days or weeks on end?

The next issue is what the reaction would be.

Given how close we are to the election, initially, not a lot would happen different. Republicans would simply ignore the behavior, hoping it will go away. It would take a few days of some seriously disturbing behavior before the pressure would begin to build for something, anything to happen.

This is where things get murky. I can’t figure out how we would ever get rid of Trump, even if he was, say, going out of his way to start a war with the DPRK in a desperate bid to “Wag the Dog.” I might go so far as to say this crisis might go on and on and on and on for months until the election rolls around and, surprise! Trump weirdly wins anyway.

Then we spend three months on edge we try to figure out how we’re going to get Electors to vote for Joe Biden because it’s absolutely clear that because of a quid pro quo with Russia, Trump has illegally won re-election because of hacking on the part of Putin.

I guess the point is — I don’t know how we would ever actually get rid of Trump, even if he fucking totally lost his fucking mind and put the lives of 300 million Americans at risk. We’re stuck with him, no matter what.

Something Big *May* Be On The Way With Trump (Between Now & August)

by Shelt Garner

Now is the summer of our discontent.

I have no inside information. I’m not a member of the “IC.” All I got is my gut. And my gut tells me someone, somewhere, knows something big about the mental state of Trump and they’re worried.

The key thing you have to remember is Trump simply has to get into his second term. That’s it. That’s all he has to do — get sworn in for a second term. After that point, he could go completely insane and his dream of an authoritarian white ethno-state will be come a reality. I say this because I believe his second term VP is going to be someone like Tom Cotton or Mike Flynn (Or Steve King). Someone who will be both impeachment insurance AND someone younger and more organized who can knock heads in an organized way.

So, Trump, in a sense, is at his weakest right now. (As is the nation as a whole because democracies are so messy just before the election actually takes place.)

I say between August and now because August (as Slate will tell you every year in your Facebook newsfeed) the worst month of the year. So, it would make sense if Trump finally snaps in a completely fucking insane manner, it would be about mid-August.

If he can make it past August, I think he’s fine. His dreams of destroying America will, finally, come true.

Let’s see what the fates have to say about all of this.

An Observation On Trump Scandals

by Shelt Garner

Trump has an absolute floor of support of about 35% of the electorate. He’s not quite down to it, yet, but he seems to be working his way towards it. That core support of people barely pay any attention to traditional news sources and, in fact, get most of their news directly from Trump’s twitter feed. They’re a bunch of racist, ignorant morons who are willfully destroying the country by supporting Trump through thick and thin.

This leaves people like me extremely frustrated because Trump is pretty obviously a Russian stooge at best and a Russian agent at worst. He has no traditional political accountability and as long as he has that core 35%, never will.

I will note, however, that occasionally he gets himself into trouble that lingers. He eventually peters out like all his scandals, but sometimes he screws up in such a massive way that while he still has that 35% of racist, authoritarian loving assholes, at least those people are made to sweat for a little while.

This issue with “BountyGate” is a prime example of what I’m talking about. While I know that barring Trump, himself, self-owning even more that it will eventually get lost in lead up to the 2020 Election, I find myself thinking about it all the time these days. I’m REALLY MAD about this thing and I can’t stop thinking about how bad either option is for Trump.

Either he’s criminally incompetent and his job or he’s a traitor. He’s going to go with criminally incompetent and weasel his way out of yet another jam, then get the Russians to steal the election for him (or he’s going to steal it himself by going after Electors) and he’ll be impeached AGAIN at some point in his second term, probably either 1 1/2 or 3 1/2 years into his second term. (I’m thinking it’s most likely to happen the same year as an election for various reasons.)

By that point, of course, Ivanka Trump, Tom Cotton or Mike Flynn will be his second term VP and we’ll be nothing more than Russian style “managed democracy.” (Ivanka would be used as a figure head for her veep Tom Cotton or Mike Flynn should she become president. It’s rat fucking like that that authoritarians love, love, love to do.)

Again, let me be clear — the fate of the Republic hinges not on Biden, or Pelosi, or voters. It hinges on the mental state of one Donald J. Trump. If he fucking loses his mind in The Night Of Camp David style meltdown between now and,say, August, then there’s a chance that we’ll at least punt the end of the Republic down the road one more election cycle.

Otherwise, lulz!


by Shelt Garner

Out of the blue, I’m hearing a lot of chatter about the DPRK doing something against ROK. What it could possibly be, I have no idea. In fact, it’s not so much them doing something at this point but WHY would they do something against their brothers to the south?

The Sister
Kim Yo-jong may, somehow, in an unexpected position of power. The DPRK is a blackbox, so the idea that Kim Jung-Un is actually secretly dead is not a weird as you might think.

It’s possible the DPRK can see what we all see — that Emperor Trump I is an invalid moron — and they may feel it’s now or never. If they don’t strike the ROK now and try to get some sort of border adjustment, it’s just never happening.

Maybe things are a lot worse in the DPRK with Covid19 than we know and this is kind of a deathrattle freakout.

But there are some problems.

All of them involve the U-S-A.

Trump is just too both moronic and bonkers. If he felt he might be able to win re-election as part of a Rally Around The Flag war against the DPRK, he would likely go at it with great gusto.

And, then, well, things escalate and NYC, or LA are vaporized in a limited nuclear exchange between the two nations.

I just don’t see any of that happening.

It’s just another time where the DPRK wants some attention.

How Trump Won

by Shelt Garner

Autocrats never lose, and as such, Trump is going to win in 2020. Here are a few of the ways he will win.

The Insurance Policy
Trump is going to ditch Pence and name some insane person (The Kooch, Tom Cotton, Steve King, Kris Kobach) as his veep. Or someone ostensibly sane (Ivanka Trump), but actual a proxy for the person they will name their veep when Trump finally goes insane in his second term. Ivanka, in particular, is perfect to help him pull off an “upset” win (see below) because she’s a threefer: a woman, Jewish and a Trump (and moderate!)

The Quid Pro Quo
The United States is removing 1/3 of its troops from Germany after a friendly call between Trump and Putin. This is set to happen by September, just in time for Putin to directly hack into our election systems on Election Day. By the time we figure out why the polls were so wrong again, lulz, we’ve had a Constitutional Convention and Trump is a barely functioning American Brezhnev.

The Durham Investigation
This is still lurking out there, ready to pop out. This is a catch-all investigation into everyone Trump hates by this dude named Durham. The conditions are there for Biden to be indicted just about the same time as the Second Comey Letter. Lulz! Trump wins.

It’s possible that if COVID19 will simply grow so deadly that center-Left people won’t go to the polls (the ones that are still open for them) and Trump squeezes about a victory in Michigan and Wisconsin.

Trump Sues
If the other two things don’t work, then Trump sues, claiming massive voter fraud. It goes to SCOTUS and he wins 5-4. Lulz!

The Electoral College Commission
It’s very easy to see a 1876-style commission established to figure out which Electors to allow to cast their votes. Last time, it was made up of half Republicans, half Democrats. In the divided America we live in, all they have to do is have another Brooks Brothers Riot at some point and lulz, Trump wins.

General Electoral Ratfucking
If all THAT doesn’t hand the presidency to Trump, he simply ratfucks Electors on a personal level. His criminality and insanity fuse into one. He doxxes them on Twitter, telling MAGA, Proud Boys and whomever else will listen that they and their families have to be taught a lesson about the power of the 2nd Amendment. Or he bribes Electors. Or whatever else the fuck he wants to do. Nothing matters and no one cares at this point.

General Election Violence
This is a real wild card. It’s going to happen at some point, the question is how badly is it going to get. It’s going to get so bad that it’s the biggest story of the year, bigger than COVID19. America doesn’t have any history of political violence, and so when MAGA starts murdering people like me in cold blood, well, there’s a chance that, in itself, will be enough to keep Trump in office.


He is going to get into his second term and gradually turn into an American Brezhnev with absolute power after a rouge Constitutional Convention gives it to him. His successor will be even worst than he is.

Get out of the country if you can.

Trump’s Bonkerness Be Not Proud

by Shelt Garner

The Mad King continues to be mad and we’re not going to do anything about it. The question is, of course, if we do reach a crisis with Trump’s mental state, will we even recognize it? I don’t think we will — I think Trump’s insanity and criminality will fuse in such a way that he’s going to literally destroy the entire Republic because, well, lulz, nothing matters.

Our future?

If if the things people like me have long feared happen — like Trump whips out his cock and starts masturbating, or starts to rant about African Americans using a gratuitous amount of the N-word…nothing will happen.



We’re so close to the election that Trump could go way, way, WAY out of his way to start a war with the DPRK and I just don’t see there being any consequences. Maggie Haberman would coo that it was all part of Trump’s political genius. Trump could explode, not implode, mentally and we’re all just going to have to wait for Jan. 20th, 2021.

But wait, there’s more.

There’s a real chance that if Trump’s insanity and criminality merge, that his enablers will be cool with him brazenly bribing electors. Or doxing them on Twitter. Or siccing MAGA on them in the dead of night. Trump could, at last, murder someone in cold blood on FOX News and lulz, nothing matters.

His enablers are that far up Trump’s ass at this point.

And, really, in the end, if Trump’s insanity finally reaches a point of crisis, it’s not going to happen in a way that helps either side. I mean, history didn’t pick the greatest time to let leash a pandemic, now did it? Last year would have been FAR BETTER for everyone involved.

Anyway. Now what.

‘To Schlapp’ #COVID19 #Pandemic #CoronaVirus

A new verb?
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

As any student of history will tell you — the writer’s have a wicked sense of humor. In fact, I would say whomever is writing human history definitely likes irony. Before I go any further, let me stress that while I hate MAGA’s idology with a white hot fucking rage, I have nothing personal against any of them. I don’t want any physical harm to come to any of them, though I would squeal with glee if Trump spent the rest of his life in prison.

So, imagine how my eyebrows rose when I heard that the Dear Leader’s favorite cock holster Matt Schlapp not only hung out with some dude who went to CPAC with COVID19, he shook POTUS’ hand at some point later. I would go so far that if we could somehow prove that any potential COVID19 infection of POTUS came from that contact that we might have a new verb in the English language: “to schlapp.”

When you schlapp, you harm the thing you love the most.

I really don’t want any physical harm to come to Trump, or Schlapp, for that matter. Trump is doing his best to destroy himself all on his own without me hoping for any physical harm against him. Live long and prosper, Trump…in prison.

But, as I have said repeatedly, nothing as of right now gives me any indication that after all is said and done, Trump will still in be in power being a tyrant. And even if he somehow does leave office, his replacement will be someone equal (Pence) or worse (Rep. Steve King.)

Though, if really wanted to get surreal and dark, you might say if we start to have any continuation of government issues — which I definitely don’t want — that we may endup with a President Ivanka.


‘Triage’ #Covid19 #CoronaVirus

I feel like I have The Martha Mitchell Syndrome.
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

I may just be a “delusional jerk with a good heart,” but I can read. It seems as though we have to stop assuming some vague, scary number as to the coming test results and think about what we might learn in concreat terms. It appears as though COVID19 has been in the United States since at least mid-January. Apparently, when an outbreak gets bad enough that you notice it, it begins to double in the 6 day – 12 day time frame.

Something about the outbreaks in Iran and Italy are different than, say, the outbreak in South Korea. The Italy outbreak seems to be spreading like wildfire. The Iranian outbreak seems to be more potent, maybe. I have no idea what I’m talking about, but I’m simply telling what appears to be true. If what I’m noticing isn’t true, it’s not, like, wilful disinformation on my part, for Christ’s sake. This is, after all, a blog that on a good day, might get 500 unique hits in a day. That’s a rounding for the places you should be reading for information on what’s going on.

Anyway, the point is, the States appears to all the slight variations of COVID19 that are floating around the globe. So, I would suggest that maybe things might get A LOT worse than we expect right now. Given how mobile the American population is, the fact that nursing homes are serving as “national superspreaders” AND criminally incompetence the Trump Administration is about doing anything to stop the spread of the virus, I suggest we may have as many as 100,000 verified cases in two weeks.

Remember, Northern Italy and Iran are pretty much imploading as we speak and they’re actively working to halt the virus’ spread. We, meanwhile, are doing jack shit. In fact, the only real metric we are going to have in the near term is, well, people getting sick.

One thing to remember — there haven’t been any reports of cases within the penal system — or ICE camps, for that matter. Once we do, things may get far worse in the public’s eyes. Also, WuFlop hasn’t been recorded in the United States yet. And that, in itself, will freak everyone out. Add to this The Gray Plague, and you have something of a historic disaster on your hands. At some point, you may have to simply do triage. What can you keep functioning so you can save lives?

We need to worry about three things: 1) Food 2) Lights 3) Military readiness. If we can’t keep those three things going, then everything is going to be a disaster. We have to have those three things to do the next thing: make sure we save as many people as possible. If we’re worried about the economy as we rush towards such a unprecedented long term crisis, we’re only going to ensure that a lot of people get sick and or die.

I suspect that the event that would kick off the actual long-term crisis of this pandemic would be a number of famous — and powerful — elderly people dropping dead in quick succession. That would definitely focus the population’s mind. And, also, remember, another big issue at the start of all of this –will Trump implode or explode mentally as it grows ever-more apparent that he’s going to going to be able to weasel his way out of his. If his absolute need to win at any costs slams against the absolute realization that he may have to, at last, face some sort of accountability, well, THAT will be interesting.

Honestly, I’ll just be glad if the human race makes it out alive at that point. Maybe that’s why we’ve yet to find any aliens — they all inevitably elect alien unhinged Right Wing Twitter Trolls who blow their planets up.

I wish I was joking.

‘Slicing The Boil’ #COVID19 #CoronaVirus

Cast Away
Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

Sept 11, 2001 was a unique event in American history because within minutes of the first attack happening, the entire country was thinking about the same thing at the same time. This almost never happens given how large the United State’s population is.

Given that we’re not doing any mitigation, what would it look like when we slice the boil and have to start doing triage? What would that event look like?

The only thing I can think of is, The Gray Plague would occur rather abruptly in the guise of a lot of powerful or well known celebrities dying in very quick succession. Like, within hours of each other. If, say, 40 well known elderly people from across the spectrum of American public life simply dropped dead, that might be noticed by someone, somewhere. Even if we didn’t know why they died, it would be alarming if that many elderly people dropped dead.

Another thing that might spark the event that pushed us into a massive domestic crisis might be reports of the “WuFlop” happening in the United States. I’ve already gotten snookered by a fake news report of this happening in the United States, so I’m feeling a little touchy mentioning it. But, I have to. The WuFlop is so eerie, so disturbing, that if the American public saw it happen more than once across the country within, say, a 48 hour period, it might be enough to cause some serious panic. Of course, it is unlikely the broadcast news shows would even show such events. But it would likely be spread widely around social media and, as such be an extreme version of the Clinton Blue Dress situation where everyone knew something but it wasn’t reported on TV.

I can’t predict the future. I don’t have revealed truth, but I can read. And, I know what’s happened in other countries. Places like Italy and South Korea have had significant outbreaks of COVID19, EVEN WITH “social distancing” and testing. Places like Iran, however, have been less transparent and less proactive on those fronts and have suffered the consquences.

The great tragedy of COVID19 in the United States will be we were given two months to prevent and mitigate its spread and we blow it. We totally blew it. Trump is — and always has been — nothing more than a historically lucky Right Wing Twitter troll, so, lulz. And his only metrics are greed, power and cruelty, so, really he doesn’t have our best interests at heart and we’re going to have to fend for ourselves.

I would also suggest that Trump may snap. In fact, it could be Trump finally going completely fucking bonkers that is, in itself, the crisis that prompts our descent into chaos. If Trump whips his cock out and starts stroking it. Or starts to use the Presidential Alert System to send us all cock pics. Or if he pretty much just says the N-word all the time, then, well, that would be a crisis. And there wouldn’t be anything we could do about it. There’s just not the political will to address that the emperor has no clothes.

It’s possible that whatever happens won’t be a 9/11 type event. It might be more a rolling clusterfuck. It might be more like what happened in the book Nine Days That Shook The World. It could be a week in which things get worse and worse in the United States to the point that some people will begin to wonder if its the Rapture, or the end of the world or whatever the fuck else people think when they lose hope in the real.

I do think, however, that something akin to martial law is going to happen in the United States out of sheer desperation. All passenger flight will end rather abruptly. In fact, cities may be put on lockdown and all movement WITHIN IN THE UNITED STATES may be — briefly — highly regulated. As I have mentioned before, if you’re still worried about the Stock Market, well, you’re living delusion.

Wall Street will come roaring back in about a year, but in the short term it’s going to be moot.

Buckle up.

If #COVID19 Causes Trump To Snap Mentally, How Bad Will It Get, & How?

Shelton Bumgarner

by Shelt Garner

So, if Trump snaps because his absolute need to win smashing against his absolute realization that he’s going to be blamed for a royal clusterfuck of a response to the biggest domestic American crisis since the Civil War, how bad will things get?

Well, first, things may sort themselves out. No one can predict the future. Maybe it really is “just the flu,” or at least the bullshit coming from House Trump will work with the base. It will work with the base and the “German Industrialists” will continue to buy stocks no matter what and Trump will get his Thousand Year Trump. The Fourth Reich will consolidate its power and I endup with a Trump-brand bullet in the back of my head sometime in Trump’s second term at my local ICE camp.

But, for shits and giggles, let’s just play pretend. I know it’s hard to believe, but let’s assume that, work with me here, Trump finally faces some political accountability for being a fucking criminally incompetent traitor racist bigot misogynist who is only powered by greed, hate and a bloodlust for power and not the interests of the Constitution. What happens then?

One of two things: either Trump implodes or he explodes on a mental level.

If Trump implodes, we just won’t see him that much. He’ll go full Howard Hughes on us. He might be able to summon enough energy to come out and talk about what’s going on, but in general will see Pence a whole lot more. Like, a whole lot more. And, it’s possible that weirdly the government starts to function better as if someone else is running it. There might even be some personal changes that mysteriously happen out of the blue. And Pence isn’t fired for the second term is widely assume he will be. Trump’s second term is just as bad as we all assume it will be, but by about 2022 it definitely will seem as if Trump has effectively given control over to Pence. A huge political fight breaks out between Pence and Doofus Don Jr as Don Jr has a political reason to expose what is really happening — the United States doesn’t have a functioning president.

This is less likely to happen, but if it did, it would happen because the short term events on the ground had gotten far worse than we expected. Trump will snap in a rather dramatic fashion. He will go transnational in his bonkers state. A lot of things that have been rolling around in his head since he became office will happen. He’ll pardon everyone he wants to pardon — including himself. He’ll whip his cock out and stroke it to completion. He’ll use the Presidential Alert System to shoot out dickpics and tweets all day long. He’ll probably get extremely passive-aggressive on Twitter an talk about how we all hate him and want him to kill himself. (We don’t.) It will get really, really bad.

Now, what the political consequences of this would be, I don’t know. It could be that we might just summon up the political courage — at last — to have something of a snap impeachment-and-conviction. But events on the ground would have be so existentially bad that the usual Trump enablers would have abandoned him in a big, big way.

And, as such, that will never happen.