Month: August 2022

A Review (Of Sorts) Of ‘Lightyear’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I finally finished Lightyear. But I’m drunk and lazy. So, this is going to be a “review” as done under those conditions. So, the key thing that pops out at me about this movie — which looks gorgeous — is how dull it is. It’s boring. I just didn’t feel any emotional connection to the story or the characters.

It was only because of that that I noticed how “woke” it is.

It was very, very woke.

Now, let me give you some context to all of this relative to me. I’m writing six (!) novels that I’m using as a creative outlet to rant at the top of my lungs about how much I fucking hate Trumplandia and, as well, the “woke cancel culture mob.” A pox on both your houses, as they say.

But I’m going to use subtext. I’m not going to deconstruct the white savior trope. Or have characters be gay just to make myself feel better. I’m not going to bang my political views over you, the reader, in other words. But the whole thing is designed to, at the end of six novels, layout why I fucking hate extremism from both sides of the aisle.

Anyway, back to Lightyear.

If it wasn’t so dull, I wouldn’t care how woke it was. If it had a good story that was compelling and didn’t have me thinking in the back of my mind, “Ahhh, of course, this is supposed to teach White People A Lesson About Relying Upon Brown People” because it was so dull, then that would be a whole different situation.

And, I’m sheepish to admit, I found myself rooting for Zerg. I agreed with his motivation. But, then, that might mean more about me not being the kid audience more than anything else.

Lightyear is not a bad movie. But it’s very much more a movie you might want to see on Disney+ as opposed to in a theatre.

Yet Again, Am I Giving Myself Too Much Credit Thinking I Would Excel In New York City or Los Angeles?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’m drunk yet again. This time off of some very nice whiskey. Anyway, even though I’m An Old, I continue to idly daydream about how well I might do in a big city like NYC or LA.

As I keep saying, I think if I was forced to chose between the two cities, I would have to pick LA, even though in my heart I’m New Yorker. The only reason is, well, if you want to get all crass about it, I’m far more likely to get laid as a broke ass writer if I’m living in LA as opposed to New York City.

The question I have is, of course, am I giving myself too much credit? Am I’m making a mistake in reasoning when I extrapolate from my success in Seoul and try to apply it to a major city in the United States? I think the answer is yes to both. Yes, I am assuming more than is real AND, sometimes being delusional can go a long ways — especially somewhere like LA.

Even though I love, love, love, NYC, the metric for success there is VERY STRICT. You have to be wealthy, successful, powerful and, for men — have a huge fucking cock. I’m just a freaky little weirdo who is very extroverted and “colorful” when I get drunk.

As such, I think LA would probably be the place I land if I fall into a little bit of money at some point before I drop dead. I still believe that I have a career as a fashion photography lurking somewhere in me and, I think, a lot of the haters who grow very frustrated with me will be shocked at how I might spring out of “nowhere” at some point in the future, if not from selling a pretty good novel, then by becoming a reasonably successful fashion photographer.

But, for the moment, that’s all very much being delusional — the very type of stuff that makes those of you playing the home game very frustrated and angry with me. “If you think you have such talent, just get a fucking job and buy the equipment!” you say, etc. I’m an eccentric. When the time comes and I can afford the photographic equipment I need, then I’ll get it.

If I end up just dropping dead before then, oh well.

Writing These Novels Is Existential

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I like to be creative just for the sake of being creative. And, so, even though using the metrics of a “normal” person, I should just, well, lie in bed all day and worry about how I’m going to die alone — I’m going to continue to work on these six novels.

I’m too old. I’m too weird for traditional “literary types” to take me seriously. I have the wrong background. I’m probably not a good enough writer. The list goes on.

But, I can’t help myself. I really do love to write and working on these six novels gives me something to think about other than my eventual, inevitable impending demise.

And, yet, and this is the whole point of everything — I have to stop writing about writing and daydreaming about what I’m going to do and actually do it. I have been on pause the last few days for personal reasons. But that pause will end very, very soon.

I hoping to use this “pause” in development and writing to work on character development for some of the people in these novels, if nothing else. But Trump’s most recent run-in with the law has made this a lot more difficult than I thought.

Anyway, I’ve got enough whiskey and rye to last me for sometime and that’s the secret juice I use to get all this hard work done.

I Guess Trump Escapes Justice Again

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I honestly thought, for a few hours, that Trump stealing Top Secret documents might be The Thing that mortally wounded that malignant dingus on a political basis. But as of right now, it seems as though this is going to go the exact same route that all of Trump’s other scandals have gone.

Something Big and Bad happens
We all freak out that Trump did it
For a brief moment, we think we “Got Him”
MAGA Talking Points Emerge
We’re too divided for any consensus.
Trump escapes
Repeat

So, for the moment, I believe that I need to go back to working on my novels and reading up on the rise of Nazism in 1930s Germany. Trump being investigated for violating the Espionage Act will be thrown onto the list of Bad Things that Trump Has Done and…then promptly forgotten.

Even if Trump is indicted, he will just wrap himself around it so he can play the martyr.

In short, we’re just as doomed as we were before all of this started. Oh well. Wake me up when we decide if we’re going to have a civil war or turn into autocracy. Otherwise, I have six (!) novels to develop and write before I drop dead.

What Did Trump Want With Top Secret Documents?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ok, the issue of WHY dingus Trump might have have stolen American Top Secret documents and taken them to Mar-a-Lago is something that is very intriguing. Let’s do some scenarios.

Trump Is Stupid
In this thinking, Trump is just so stupid that he grabbed “cool” documents that he could show people post-presidency. There was no real evil intention of doing something bad. He just, in general, snatched some of the highest classified documents that America has, without much thought.

Trump Is Nefarious
In this thinking, Trump is up to something. Maybe not up to the level of being a traitor, but he’s just up to no good.

Trump Is Hiding Something
He just wanted the documents for general later use. There was no specific traitorous intent. But he knows why he took these specific documents.

Trump Is A Traitor
This is the most clear-cut possible explanation. Trump is a traitor. He has an in-the-movies level of understanding about secret documents and thought he could sell them to the Saudis, or Russians or the DPRK. And, yet, I don’t know, I like to think I have a sense of Trump and being an actual traitor seems a bit too complex as a process for an idiot like him.

Trump & The ‘Scalia Endgame:’ What Do You Call It When White People Burn American Cities To The Ground?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I’ve noticed a bit of an uptick in the number of people interested in my dystopian hellscape scenarios about a Second American Civil War (or Revolution.) And it’s occurred to me that there is one sure-fire way for Trump to start something that might be marketed in the press as a “revolution.”

Drop dead.

It doesn’t matter how he did it, if Trump shuffled off this mortal coil peacefully in his sleep, the MAGA base is so primed to assume that it was the Deep State that did it, then, yes, there’s a good chance that a lot of major American cities would be suddenly be on fire.

It would be a lot like what happened after the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King — only it would be white people doing the sacking of cities. So, if you’re a MAGA true believer who wants an excuse to grab your AR-15 and murder in cold political blood people like me, there’s your answer.

That’s how you get your civil war or revolution immediately, not at some point around late 2024 – early 2025 when Blues leave the Union because the 2024 election was brazenly stolen.

The Latest ‘Powers That Be:’ Holy Shit, Did This Podcast Age Poorly

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

Ok, I’m a notable idiot. I screw up a lot. I get things wrong because I’m too lazy to look them up. In short, I often live up to my reputation as a “failed reporter.” And, yet, when I listened to the above podcast where the interlocutors got REALLY EXCITED about how, essentially, it was a big screw up to raid Mar-a-Lago….I was taken aback. Something felt off.

Some of it was how the implication of the conversation was that Trump was “back in the game” and there was absolutely no downside to any of this. It definitely felt to me as if the two people talking thought it was settled — Trump was pretty much the president again already.

Then the events of today happened and I found myself thinking about the podcast conversation above. While I’m sure — sure — that Trump can figure out some way to elude justice yet again, I suspect Ron DeSantis feels a little bit better about his chances of being the 2024 Republican nominee now that there is evidence that Trump stole America’s most classified secrets — having to do with nuclear technology!

Anyway. I found the podcast above annoying and presumptuous, to say the least.

How Does Trump Wiggle His Way Out Of Having Top Secret Nuclear Documents At Mar-a-Lago?

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

As of this writing, Trump has announced on Truth Social that he is going to “encourage” the release of some of the legal documents associated with the FBI raid of Mar-a-Lago.

Ok, at the moment, things look kind of dark for that fucking malignant dingus. But, to date, Trump has always, always, ALWAYS escaped justice. So, how does he do it this time?

Announce
One idea is, if Trump realizes he’s done a Big Boy Crime and he’s in Serious trouble, that he can always simply tell the Republican Establishment to fuck off and announce for 2024, like, NOW. This would blow out the newscycle for 24 hours and, lulz, by the time we get our bearings again Trump will say no matter what he has absolute immunity because he’s running for POTUS.

Fuck You, Lib
In this scenario, he simply shrugs the whole thing off. He knows his base and, in the end, he has Hitler-levels of fidelity from MAGA and all that happens is the two sides difference of opinion about Trump grows more and more sharp and severe. And, in the end, if he gets indicted, he just uses it to fundraise off of and to cry about how he’s being “canceled” by the “woke cancel culture mob” that wants to turn everyone gay. Ugh.

Something Else Happens
Never count Trump out. This is August, after all, and there’s a good chance that something huge could happen that diverts our attention from Trump and his stealing (and selling?) of secrets long enough that he escapes, AGAIN. This is not really a strategy on his part, but it is something that could very well happen at any moment.

Go Transactional
This is probably the darkest of the possible scenarios. Trump, in a panic, freaks out and tells his followers to get violent. The only reason why I say this is even a possibility is — what if this is like the Access Hollywood Tape situation where he didn’t really take it seriously at first…until he did? It could be the same thing. It could be that he’s going to lulz this…and then when he realizes that it’s actually gaining some traction, he freaks out and sicks his “shock troops” on the government. And then, at last, all the people who come to this site looking for information about a Second American Civil War will get their wish.

He Doesn’t Escape
This is the least likely of situations. It’s so unlikely, that I don’t even know what it would look like. Though, I suppose, it might look a lot like what never happened while he was in office — The Pence Pivot. In this case, it would be the DeSantis Pivot or something. After a brief freak out — in silence — on the part of the Republicans, they would pivot to Ron DeSantis as the standard bearer and they would act like Trump is a lulz from the distance past.

Frankenstein’s Monster
In this scenario, the absolute worst happens — at least for Republicans. He both becomes extremely radoactive (no pun intended) and, yet, refuses to go away. In fact, the fact that he’s indicted will only make him more angry and, in his own way, stronger. The base will forgive him for being a fucking traitor and if you throw in how we’re an anocracy not a democracy — he fucks with things to the point that he wins in 2024. His veep will be Gen. Mike Flynn and we all sit around waiting for the Russians to Red Dawn us.

‘But Why?’

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

The mystery of the moment is why in the world would Trump have all this Top Secret information — including, apparently, nuclear secrets? What the what? Even if you are the most charitable and say it’s all an “accident” that still leaves a lot of questions.

You mean to tell me, Trump just randomly got some of the most top secret document that America possesses because it would be “cool?” Come to think of it, Trump is a big enough idiot, so I suppose it’s at least possible that was his logic.

But while Trump is very stupid, we also know he’s very craven.

So, it’s at least possible that he has a movie-level understanding of secrets and thought he might be able to make a quick buck off of them by selling them. Even though Official Serious Person Tom Nichols has made it clear that’s not how Top Secrets work. But that’s how TRUMP might have thought they work.

Anyway, the point is, the “why” is a ticking time bomb for the entire country. What happens if we have definitive, cold, hard evidence that the reason why Jared got $2 billion from the Saudis was access to those secrets? Then you have something of a Singularity whereby on one side you have the absolute need to go after Trump criminally running up against the absolute need to protect the Dear Leader on the part of MAGA.

It goes without saying that that is a very unstable situation.

The consensus that is developing around Trump and these secrets is so bad that I half think we should try to impeach him AGAIN so he can never run for office again. But, I think, on a political level things may get dark for Trump for the next few days, but ultimately this will simply be one of the, say, top three Bad Things that Trump has done.

On a political basis, he’ll bounce back with the MAGA base for various reasons, he’ll announce for 2024 and away we go.

Prove me wrong.

Not Since Trump’s ‘Tender Care Facilities’ On The Border Have I Felt This Rattled By That Dingus

by Shelt Garner
@sheltgarner

I got so angry about Trump’s administration that I started a novel project which is now up to six novels. And one of the things that made me the angriest was the “tender care facilities” that happened with little kids because of Trump’s shenanigans on the border.

I think of that now that we know it’s possible that Trump may have stolen nuclear secrets, of all things, and hidden them at Mar-a-Lago. This really makes me angry. It enrages me. It enrages me for a number of reasons, chief amongst them being that there’s a very good chance that Trump, yet again, will get away with it.

He will do something, anything to muddy the waters so the usual shuck and jive will happen where we all get really angry then gradually lose interest and Trump escapes. And the chief thing I think Trump could do to escape would be to announce his 2024 bid.

That is typically how Trump operates.

Whenever he’s cornered and we all think we have him, he does something even more stupid and dramatic and horrible and corrupt and no consensus can develop about what to do with him. I suppose Trump could also go transactional and get his mob of angry idiots to try to overthrow the government in an effort to protect himself. He hasn’t tried that lately.

And, so, seeing’s believing.