Ron DeSantis Has Struck Political Gold Being A Cruel Piece of Shit

by Shelt Garner

As I’ve written before, my Traditionalist relatives look at me with concern whenever Ron DeSantis comes up in our now-rare political conversations and say, “Why do you hate Ron DeSantis?”

Let me be clear — I do not hate Ron DeSantis. I hate the MAGA Republican movement with a white hot rage equal to the center of the sun that is so powerful that it’s generating a six novel project on my part. But I don’t hate Ron DeSantis.

The reason why this is relevant is when it comes to shipping hapless undocumented immigrants to strategic sites in Blue states, DeSantis has struck political gold. It’s a very “cruelty is the point” Trump-ish thing to do and, as such plays exceedingly well with the MAGA Republican base. And, if something should happen politically to Trump, then DeSantis will cruse into the presidency and be our first autocrat.

This cruel ploy by DeSantis works so well with the base because it’s simple and plays well with their preconceived notions of evil “groomer” liberals. It’s a perfect plan for DeSantis because we wins, just by doing it. There is NO reaction on the part of Blues that he can’t credit as a win. And, if need be, MAGA will simply lie or spin whatever reaction there is so it fits their media narrative.

It’s times like these when I am reminded at how alarmed we should all be about the future of the United States. As I keep saying, we face the choices of autocracy, civil war or military junta between now and, say, spring 2025. If you have the means, I would suggest you prepare to leave the country and never look back.

Ron DeSantis Would Be America’s First Autocrat — But For Trump Being A Political Monster Who Won’t Get Out of The Way

by Shelt Garner

Let me be clear — any Republican who becomes POTUS in 2025 will be our first autocrat. There are a at least a dozen would-be MAGA Republican autocrats waiting for Trump to just get the fuck out of the way. He’s served his political and historical purpose, so if he would just retire our inevitable decline into autocracy could happen unabated.

The person who is very, very, very popular with my Traditionalist is Ron DeSantis. And, really, he fits the bill of the person who would be America’s first autocrat. He will become president and we’ll all wake up in 20 years and wonder why he’s still POTUS. Trump has shown DeSantis — and other leading Republicans — how weak the center-Left is and how easy it will be to establish an autocracy based on minority rule. They just need the opportunity and the rest will take care of itself.

By definition, DeSantis as POTUS means the end of 240-odd years of American democracy. It probably won’t happen immediately, but it will happen. And as it does, millions of wealthy liberals will leave the country. This scenario, at least in my mind, is a forgone conclusion. The only thing stopping it from happening is it hasn’t happened yet.

And, yet, there is Donald Trump.

Ron DeSantis

Trump simply will not get out of the way. He’s so lazy and stupid that baring something I can’t predict, even if he wins the 2024 election outright he could still start a civil war just by being himself. Trump is a massive quirk in American political history. Anyone else in his position — ANYONE — would have never have lost the 2020 election and he or she would not be slowly strangling American democracy in their second term.

Maybe something will happen that will force Trump to get out of the way. If that happens, then America will be full of Good Germans who are thankful that the “woke cancel culture mob” has finally be vanquished and America will, at last be “great” again. Whatever the fuck that means.

It will only be when the policies of our new autocratic government become personal that any of America’s Good Germans will feel a red line has been crossed. Of course, by that point it will be too late for people like me who will probably be in an ICE camp somewhere. Wish me luck.

The Latest ‘Powers That Be:’ Holy Shit, Did This Podcast Age Poorly

by Shelt Garner

Ok, I’m a notable idiot. I screw up a lot. I get things wrong because I’m too lazy to look them up. In short, I often live up to my reputation as a “failed reporter.” And, yet, when I listened to the above podcast where the interlocutors got REALLY EXCITED about how, essentially, it was a big screw up to raid Mar-a-Lago….I was taken aback. Something felt off.

Some of it was how the implication of the conversation was that Trump was “back in the game” and there was absolutely no downside to any of this. It definitely felt to me as if the two people talking thought it was settled — Trump was pretty much the president again already.

Then the events of today happened and I found myself thinking about the podcast conversation above. While I’m sure — sure — that Trump can figure out some way to elude justice yet again, I suspect Ron DeSantis feels a little bit better about his chances of being the 2024 Republican nominee now that there is evidence that Trump stole America’s most classified secrets — having to do with nuclear technology!

Anyway. I found the podcast above annoying and presumptuous, to say the least.

How Does Trump Wiggle His Way Out Of Having Top Secret Nuclear Documents At Mar-a-Lago?

by Shelt Garner

As of this writing, Trump has announced on Truth Social that he is going to “encourage” the release of some of the legal documents associated with the FBI raid of Mar-a-Lago.

Ok, at the moment, things look kind of dark for that fucking malignant dingus. But, to date, Trump has always, always, ALWAYS escaped justice. So, how does he do it this time?

One idea is, if Trump realizes he’s done a Big Boy Crime and he’s in Serious trouble, that he can always simply tell the Republican Establishment to fuck off and announce for 2024, like, NOW. This would blow out the newscycle for 24 hours and, lulz, by the time we get our bearings again Trump will say no matter what he has absolute immunity because he’s running for POTUS.

Fuck You, Lib
In this scenario, he simply shrugs the whole thing off. He knows his base and, in the end, he has Hitler-levels of fidelity from MAGA and all that happens is the two sides difference of opinion about Trump grows more and more sharp and severe. And, in the end, if he gets indicted, he just uses it to fundraise off of and to cry about how he’s being “canceled” by the “woke cancel culture mob” that wants to turn everyone gay. Ugh.

Something Else Happens
Never count Trump out. This is August, after all, and there’s a good chance that something huge could happen that diverts our attention from Trump and his stealing (and selling?) of secrets long enough that he escapes, AGAIN. This is not really a strategy on his part, but it is something that could very well happen at any moment.

Go Transactional
This is probably the darkest of the possible scenarios. Trump, in a panic, freaks out and tells his followers to get violent. The only reason why I say this is even a possibility is — what if this is like the Access Hollywood Tape situation where he didn’t really take it seriously at first…until he did? It could be the same thing. It could be that he’s going to lulz this…and then when he realizes that it’s actually gaining some traction, he freaks out and sicks his “shock troops” on the government. And then, at last, all the people who come to this site looking for information about a Second American Civil War will get their wish.

He Doesn’t Escape
This is the least likely of situations. It’s so unlikely, that I don’t even know what it would look like. Though, I suppose, it might look a lot like what never happened while he was in office — The Pence Pivot. In this case, it would be the DeSantis Pivot or something. After a brief freak out — in silence — on the part of the Republicans, they would pivot to Ron DeSantis as the standard bearer and they would act like Trump is a lulz from the distance past.

Frankenstein’s Monster
In this scenario, the absolute worst happens — at least for Republicans. He both becomes extremely radoactive (no pun intended) and, yet, refuses to go away. In fact, the fact that he’s indicted will only make him more angry and, in his own way, stronger. The base will forgive him for being a fucking traitor and if you throw in how we’re an anocracy not a democracy — he fucks with things to the point that he wins in 2024. His veep will be Gen. Mike Flynn and we all sit around waiting for the Russians to Red Dawn us.

‘Generation DeSantis’

by Shelt Garner

I like to say that if every election your nation have is existential, then maybe you’re not really a democracy anymore. Well, there are so many would-be autocrats running around within Republican ranks at the moment who would throttle American democracy once elected that it’s hard to manage them all.

Ron DeSantis

But the one that my Traditionalist relatives love, love, love, love is Ron DeSantis, to the point that they tell me in a very snarky, asshole way that they want to “vote for him three times” when the time comes.

The reason DeSantis (and to some extent Tucker Carlson) is so dangerous is he is far smoother than Trump. He’s an opportunist. Trump was a stress test on our democratic institutions and they failed. A lot. So all DeSantis has to do is just get elected and the rest takes care of itself. The Republican Party is fascist and they will be more than happy to pass enabling acts that will allow DeSantis to purge the government of the “deep state.” They will look the other way when he threatens the broadcast licenses of major media companies and, a such, neuters them.

At the moment, follow is pretty much a foregone conclusion. DeSantis becomes president, becomes our first autocrat changes the Constitution via a Constitutional Convention and weaponizes ICE along the way. That’s it. That’s America’s future.

In fact, I would go so far as to say the only reason why I have any doubt that this is, in fact, our future is I can’t predict the future and it hasn’t happened yet. Otherwise, it’s just reality that is in the future.

So, what could go wrong?

The most obvious obstacle with Generation DeSantis becoming a reality is Trump. If Trump refuses to step aside and DeSantis manages to draw first blood, then all the other would-be autocrats lurking around would jump on Trump, too.

Then the best DeSantis can hope for is to be Trump’s veep. He would still be very well positioned to be our first true autocrat. BUT, we have to remember that Trump is so stupid and lazy that he could, single-handedly start a civil war at some point in late 2024 – early 2025.

So, on one hand, we have an autocratic DeSantis future and on the other we have civil war.

Ron DeSantis Is An Autocratic Thug

by Shelt Garner

For me, the key thing about Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is he’s a political opportunist. If this was 25 years ago, he would probably be just your standard issue ambitious Republican governor. He would be very much like George W. Bush.

But this is not 25 years ago. As such, DeSantis, along with the rest of the Republican Party, has shifted into full blown fascist autocracy. By definition, to be a Republican in good standing these days is to be a fascist. And you know they are by how touchy they get whenever you mention this. They say people like me have been calling Republicans fascists since 1964 and fuck you lib.

Yet, it’s self-evident that Republicans ARE fascists. Their talking points, taking as a whole, are those of autocratic fascists who want white minority rule. To my Traditionalist relatives — who I love dearly — the very idea of “autocracy” is such an abstract to them that they dismiss it as our future. And now they don’t even believe the United States is a democracy in the first place, so they are all-in to being Good Germans once white minority rule is finally established.

And once we became an autocracy, it’s doubtful it would register that we weren’t democracy anymore — but for me. I’m just not going to shut up and as our freedoms slowly begin to circle the drain there is going to come a point because form follows function when a loudmouth crank like me is going to cross the autocrat.

Then things become personal and suddenly they get upset that they can’t find me because I was picked up at a bar for ranting about how much President DeSantis can suck my dick. I’m not saying this will happen immediately after 2025, but once we’re no longer a democracy the general insecurity of our new autocratic ruler will gradually lead to a Constitutional Convention and me in an ICE Camp.

Of course, the other option is a civil war. That would be fun.

What Is The Mysterious Force Warping American Politics?

by Shelt Garner

My first indication that something was off in American politics was when my Traditionalist relative pined me down one Thanksgiving during the second Obama Administration and was enraged. He went on at great length about how much he hated everything about the Obama Era. It was almost as if he felt a personal affront from the social changes that were happening in the United States at the time.

Since then, things have only gotten worse. My Traditionalist relatives no longer even believe that the United States is a democracy in the first place. And they give me some obviously well-thought out Republican echo chamber talking points about why this is the case. They are so blinded by the fascist ideology of the modern day Republican Party that they simply do not care what the ultimate consequences of establishing an autocratic white minority ethno state might be for the nation as a whole.

Of course, they don’t articulate it that way. They don’t come out and say that they want white autocratic minority rule. But that is, in effect, what we would get if they got what they wanted. And, given that I’m a loudmouth — often drunk — crank, the idea of us transitioning from the anocracy that we are now into a full fledged autocracy gives me serious cause for concern.

My Traditionalist relatives see everything in the abstract. They want abortion to be totally outlawed in all 50 states, because that’s just want they’ve always wanted and they honestly don’t care about what that would mean for millions of women. They believe “every life is precious” unless, of course, you’re an old person who might die from COVID, then you’re shit out of luck.

But, let’s go back to what may be warping American politics. What, specific thing, is making white conservatives men specifically flip the fuck out to the point that they want an obvious autocrat like Ron DeSantis to be president so bad that they would “vote for him three times” if they could.

I don’t think there is any one thing. I think it’s a combination of macro forces that are all coming to a head at the same time — around late 2024 – early 2025. Some of it how dramatic the shift in social expectations that took place in the second Obama Administration. Some of it is technology, social media and podcast have done a lot to radicalize the Republican base. And there is the old standby of Fox News, but I take that as a given — it’s a success because people are willful in their refusal to accept any fact that doesn’t fit their already formed partisan worldview.

The warping of the American political system — specifically conservative thought — is thus intractable and impossible in any practical way to fix. We are well beyond the event horizon for a massive clusterfuck in 2024 – 2025. And, at the moment, I think we’re just going to shrug and become an autocracy. Though, if Trump is the 2024 Republican nominee the possibility of civil war increases dramatically.

Having said all that, there is a key exception to all the fascist bullshit that my Traditionalist relatives believe in — the personal. And it’s the personal — specifically me refusing to shut the fuck up — that is going to cause a huge amount of problems down the road regardless if we have a civil war or turn into an autocracy.

Once we’re no longer a democracy and President DeSantis begins to strangle the last vestiges of traditional American life — including freedom of speech — that is when I will have the moral high ground. They’re going to come to me in secret and demand I change my loudmouth crank ways “for the sake of the family” and I’m just going to tell them no — they had their chance to make common cause against tyranny and they gave it up because they were afraid the woke cancel culture mob was going to cancel them personally and ruined their lives.

It’s not exactly a situation that’s going to make me feel good, even though I was proven to be right, but it’s bound to happen. But we work with what we’re given, not what we need.

Ron DeSantis Has A Problem

by Shelt Garner

From my conversations with my hyper partisan ultra conservative Traditionalists relatives, it definitely seems as though the Republican Party has a problem. And that problem is Donald J. Fucking Trump.

My Traditionalist relatives are ready to move on. They are quite open about what they want in a 2024 Republican candidate — Trump without Trump. They tell me they want to vote for Ron DeSantis “three times.” In other words, the ground is very ripe for DeSantis to be America’s first autocrat.

And, as an aside, it’s interesting how oblivious my Traditionalist relatives are to the sea change that the United States is about to experience. The usual ebb and flow of our politics will gride to a halt when we’re not longer a democracy — something my Traditionalist relatives don’t even believe America is in the first place.

The idea of the United States no longer being a democracy is something very abstract to my Traditionalist relatives — whom I love dearly. All they know is they fucking hate the “woke cancel culture mob” and the fucking hate the “gay agenda.” I mean, they’re all in with the anti-gay “drag queens teaching 3rd graders about anal sex” fears that seem so potent within Republican ranks these days.

It’s the first thing they turn to whenever there’s a discussion of such fanciful things as a “unity ticket” or me telling them all they have to do is be patient and they will get all their policy dreams enacted.

But back to Trump.

If we were a functioning democracy and not an anocracy, Trump would be a has been and we would all just be waiting for DeSantis to become president. But we’re not. Trump refuses to wander off into the political night and, as such, the issue is not who will be the 2024 Republican nominee, it’s who will Trump pick to be his veep?

I’m of the opinion that Trump has so lost his mind that he’s not going to pick DeSantis unless he absolutely has to. He’s probably going to pick some deranged, insane person like Mike Flynn or, if he’s feeling charitable, maybe Ivanka Trump.

Or, put another way, it’s probably going to be shocking.

And, what’s more, we haven’t even addressed the issue of what the reaction to Trump and Bannon stealing the 2024 election through an “administrative coup” will be within the center-Left. My Traditionalist relatives are pretty much ready to accept the secession of Blue States if it comes to that. Though, in all honesty, I suspect the moment Fox News demands blood for Blue States doing the very thing that Red States like Texas want to do, everything will change.

In other words, Trump is a political monster and there’s no ready endgame. I have no idea what is going to ultimately happen. But I do know on one end of the spectrum is civil war and on the other end is autocracy.

Would-Be Autocrat Ron DeSantis Is Extremely Popular With Traditionalists

by Shelt Garner

I come from a deeply conservative family. And, in all honesty, I’m far more extremely anti-MAGA than I am any sort of Leftist. But there is no middle ground any more and so you pick a side and run with it.

There is one name that comes up time and again when I have the occasional political conversation with my family members — Ron Fucking DeSantis.

DeSantis is Trumpism without Trump and, as such, it’s far less likely that we’ll have any type of political violence in 2024 — DeSantis is very much an American version of Putin around 1999 – 2000 and, as such American liberals won’t know what hit them once he seizes power. He’s smooth and won’t scare the average person — even though he’s a fucking fascist — and we’ll just wake up in 20 years and wonder why President DeSantis is invading Canada.

All of this is part of a broader problem the US faces — we’re fucked. Totally and completely. There are no scenarios where the US is able to punt the crisis caused by the rot of its political system down the road anymore. We’re either going to have a civil war (more likely is Trump is the nominee) or we’re just going to slip peacefully into autocracy (more likely if DeSantis is the nominee.)

As I keep saying, we may look back on the 2020 election as the last free and fair election in American history. Or, at least before the Second American Civil War that starts in late 2024, early 2025.

Ron DeSantis

I know I sound hysterical, but America is very much on edge right now. Almost all the traffic that this blog gets outside of people stalking me for some weird reason comes from people obviously with civil war on the brain. And most of them come from Red States. (This is very dumb given that MAGA is ascendant, but lulz.)

But back to the point — it definitely looks as though we’re either going to have a battle royale between Trump and DeSantis or DeSantis is the nominee. Though, to be fair, given that there are a dozen solid fascist possibilities floating around, DeSantis would have to have a pitched battle on his hands against people like Scott and Hawley and Cruz and…and…and…and…to see who gets to be the 2024 Republican nominee and…then, well, America’s first autocrat.

Autocratic America is going to suck so bad, especially for loudmouth drunk cranks like me.

A Very American Autocracy

by Shelt Garner

I simply can not game out America’s fate at the moment. I will know a lot more pretty soon, however. Once Roe is officially overturned, if there is no significant violence then that’s a pretty good sign that we’re just going to slip into autocracy starting around 2025 and that will be that.

I hate having abstract fears, so let’s contemplate what an American autocracy would look like.

Well, the first thing we have to understand is a shit tone of Twitter liberals will flee the country. It could be over the course of the next twenty years (after 2025) as many as a few million. This will change global culture in ways that no one can predict. But when you have 500,00 wealthy liberal Americans living in the south of France smelling their own farts and drinking white Russians while whining about how autocratic America has become, well, that’s going to change things.

Thus, that will be the first big noticeable change to the average American once MAGA steals the 2024 election — a lot the people who would otherwise be in the Crooked Media podcast audience will no long live full time in the country. They will take a lot of expertise and wealth production with them and the US economy will subtly change and maybe even noticeably contract.

Fox New will turn its attention from hoards of scary brown people in caravans coming to the US to the hoards of wealthy liberals who no longer live in the country. They will whine and whine about this and tell their audience what bad people these Twitter liberals are for leaving.

That will be the first noticeable thing.

The next thing will be a growing demand for a Constitutional Convention to “pass a balanced budget amendment.” That will probably be the big issue of the day at some point after 2025 as our new autocrat begins to consolidate power. (Trump is too stupid and lazy — I’m assuming our first real autocrat will be whomever Trump picks to be his 2024 veep.)

Another thing that will begin to happen is Republicans will pass a whole slate of long-wanted, and very unpopular, policies because lulz, who’s going to stop them? So gay rights will be rolled back — and that will be just the beginning.

And here is where my political speculative fiction begins to grow dark. Because of how big America is and because of the issue of race, it’s at least possible that America will implode into something very dark and scary indeed. Without any check on their ambitions the white Christian nationalists really will put people like me who refuse to shut the fuck up in camps.

In fact, much like Pol Pot, it could be the excesses of the American autocrat down the road that leads to their violent overthrow. But I find that outcome dubious — I think, in the end, America will simply become a political clone of Russia.

By 2045, someone who went from Moscow to Washington D.C. wouldn’t be able to notice any difference politically. In both nations, there would be no allowed political protesting and so forth. And, there’s a good chance that President DeSantis by that point would be thinking of carving off a big chunk of Canada because form follows function.

But, I suppose, we will all be at last grateful that no one risks being “canceled” by the woke cancel culture mob simply for being conservative. I hope it’s worth it, you fucking cocksucker MAGA dipshits.